Attention, please: We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of All Crazy All The Time to bring you an important announcement. This is not a test, I repeat, not a test. TA-DA! Those, my friends, are the batteries out of my scale, a.k.a. my Weight Watchers branded silver shackles! At first I was going to do …
Cartoon Credit: The inimitable XKCD. Woman #1, to me: Girl, you look good! Got rid of all that baby weight! But don’t you lose anymore ’cause you’re right on the edge of scary skinny, know what I mean? Woman #2, also to me: Oh you are over that edge, eat a sandwich already! Woman #3: …
Photo Credit: Fail Blog You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that diet pills don’t work. If they did, we’d all look like Carmen Electra and spend our nights partying away with the Zantrex dancers. (Not to be confused with the Valtrex dancers – that kind of party is a straight shot …
Girl Disappearing by Curly Tops Perfectly round. A circular platform encircled by a raised bar. Like a stage! The kind that lights up underneath and lifts the performer above the crowd as mist billows beneath! And indeed I am being watched. But there is no applause and I am given no chance for a monologue. …
Read more “Where is the Line Between Your Weight and Yourself?”
“Jumpstart YOUR metabolism with a wheaties breakfast!” Eating cereal boosts your metabolism! It must be true – it’s right there on the box! PS> Where is their mother?! I’m doing everything right and it’s not working! If you have ever thought the aforementioned – usually cried in paroxysms of grief after an unfortunate run-in with …
Read more “The Slow Metabolism: Fact or Myth [Research Porn!]”
We’ve been one Gym Buddy short in the gym this past month and it’s not because she got sick of us randomly drinking out of her water bottle. (Dear Target, when you decide to sell BPA-free water bottles at a ridiculously low price please have more than two colors available as we are easily confused, …
Manscaping your nipple hair to attach to your nostril hair won’t help you lose weight butI admire his willingness to change things up! Also, I think this dude shaved a swatch down the top of his head. That might be my fave part. Sprained ankles. Broken bones. Gym Hottie rejection. Stolen spots. The occupied state …
Photo Credit Our society is warped. Twisted. A veritable fun-house of fat and thin mirrors when it comes to body image. One on hand we have Kim Kardashian, queen of curves, compelled to exclaim in an interview, “I look a lot bigger on TV. When I meet people, the first thing they say is, ‘Wow, …
This guy has 200 flags stuck into his scalp with acupuncture needles to celebrate the Olympics. (He might also be a unicorn… shhh, only virgins can see them!) “Hey, you wanna feel something gross?” I asked Gym Buddy Allison a couple of weeks ago as I started to pull down the top of my pants. …
Hooters made news today by admitting what most of us already know: Despite claims that it is best known for its wings it turns out it is really selling breasts. And the rest of the well-shaped bodies of their famous scantily clad waitstaff. A Hooters in Detroit – does this city really need any more …
Read more “Hooters Waitress Suspended For Not Fitting Uniform”
