“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to not tell you… I just, uh, just didn’t know what to say to you,” my friend said, tucking a soft blanket around her adorable chubby-cheeked infant. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to keep her warm or hide her from me. “But why would you think I wouldn’t …
Have you seen the Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos video yet?? So adorable, so cheeky, so… weirdly mesmerizing! I think it’s because I used to make elaborate set ups like when I was kid – but for the imaginary fairies that I was absolutely positive weren’t imaginary:) And there’s already a part two: Tiny Hamsters …
Read more “How to not eat when you’re not hungry [Why is something so simple so hard??]”
“Ooh, that looks good! Can I have a few bites?” These words sparked the one and only time in my marriage I nearly punched my husband out. I wish I were exaggerating but it was in the depths of my eating disorder and I’d spent all day being “good” and counting every calorie and this dish was …
This picture alone is why America needs to have more subways. Yoga is supposed to be the ultimate non-competitive exercise but if you’ve ever spent time in a “serious” yoga class (or even a not-so-serious one) you’ll discover the Pose Off. I wish I was talking about lining up all the mats like a catwalk …
Every gym has this guy. (He’s a car! No he’s a human! Wait, he’s a Transformer!!) Is it terrible my first thought was “I would have taken off my jacket and tucked in my headphone wires first?” Because I really kind of want to try this even if it is the definition of ridiculosity. Gossip, …
Hello Kitty always helps answer the big questions – kind of amazing for a cat that doesn’t even have a mouth. “Mom, are robbers tiny or big?” The other day I found 4-year-old Jelly Bean rolling around on her floor, looking at her fingers and and pondering that existential question. “Where does jail live?” she …
Read more “How Do You Feel All the Feelings? Learning To Be Okay With Not Being Okay.”
Now all is sunshine and roses, er, dead corn husks and pumpkins (because that says total romance, right?) Puking with the flu, two weeks overdue pregnant, shaking on the floor with a panic attack, accusing him of stealing my pants and purse as I came out of anesthesia, both pre- and post- op, crying while …
During a fitness class a couple of weeks ago, a noxious odor seeped through the room, eventually hanging over all of us like a smog inversion, thanks to the poor air circulation of the studio. It was bad but even though my eyes were a watering I couldn’t find it in me to be upset. …
“TJ is a butt turd!” My 10-year-old self sat back to admire my handiwork: drawn in permanent purple, in foot-high letters, right on the front porch. So everyone who came to our house would know exactly what kind of kid my little brother was. To this day I don’t remember what he had done that …
Read more “Why Revenge Doesn’t Work [Because No One Makes Anvils Anymore] Help a reader out?”
Today this happened: Yep. Jelly Bean started preschool! After 12 years of waiting for the day when I’d have a consistent block of time to myself you’d think that I’d be thrilled. And I am. I’m so thrilled I sobbed in my car for 20 minutes after she trotted blithely into her classroom with nary …
