The caption reads: “‘Better not take that fudge sundae,’ this customer muses when she sees the reading on the dial set in the counter.” My favorite part though is the look on the soda jerk’s face. Talk about public shaming. So you’ve finally dropped all the weight you wanted to. You hit your goal weight, …
“Pumpkin!” That was the final word that I needed to win Mrs. Julkunen’s second-grade Fall Festival bingo game. The stakes were high: winning meant not only bragging rights on the playground but also a beautiful package of scented pencils that I lusted over and begged my mom endlessly for quarters so I could buy some …
Do you think they got this model on a half price sale? If you lived in Australia not only would you have 24/7 access to Hugh Jackman (or Nicole Kidman for the gents) but you’d have something even better. What could be better than a shirtless Wolverine, you ask? Mandatory airbrush labeling on magazine photos. …
Read more “Mandatory Airbrush Labeling: Next Trend in Magazines?”
“Chips and a rice krispie treat!” My first-grader chirped happily. “That’s what you had for lunch?” I asked incredulously as the preschooler started the tantrum process (everything must be equal in this household) and the baby took up a chorus of “Chip! Chip!!!!” “Oh yeah, and a chocolate milk.” (Note to self: the mystery of …
Ethel. That was the name of my first vein. Yep, I actually named it. I was so proud of that sucker. A little line right across the top of my right delt, that popped out whenever I did shoulder presses. When the one on my left shoulder emerged, it was christened Lucy. Since weightlifters see …
Scenario 1: At my oldest son’s swimming lesson recently the teacher, par for the first day, had all the kids line up next to the pool. It became apparent that one little girl, a devout Muslim as indicated by her abaya (a long black robe that covered her to her wrists and ankles) and hijab …
My locker room drama started and ended with the showers. Sixth grade P.E. (“Phy Ed” if you’re from Minnesota) found me at the end of a long line of body-conscious girls wrapped in thin towels, each awaiting her turn to wash off the sweat from dodgeball. Despite the fact that huddling against a wall staring …
Sometimes you know you shouldn’t do something… but you do anyways. Life is like that. Shocking exactly nobody – at least nobody who reads this blog anyhow – I ‘fessed up a few months ago to being an exercise addict. Since then I continue to get at least one e-mail a week about this issue. …
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You guys are smarter than I am. And it is a shame that so many of your passionate, insightful, interesting and provoking thoughts get buried in the comments. Why should I get to do all the talking? (Oh right, it’s my blog. I win!) Anyhow, I …
Read more “This Week: We Laughed, We Cried, We Bump-Watched”
The heaviest wedding dress in the world: 30 layers of material and 30,000 Swarovski crystals, it weighed an astonishing 25 stone (355 pounds). Call it Bride Wars, take two: Today, a friend S came over to my house so I could try on a gorgeous wedding dress she made. No, I have no personal announcements. …
