This image was titled “What Not to do in an Earthquake.” Good advice.What do I live for if not to be the poster girl for What Not To Do? In March, I was Fitness Magazine’s freakshow of the month in an article by Jessica Girdwain titled “Confessions of a Cardioholic.” You’d think after being on ABC’s 20/20, Fox’s Morning Show with Mike & Juliette and in publications to numerous to count talking about my various permutations of eating disorders that I’d be used to the public scrutiny. I’m not.
(Tangent: A friend new to the area told my husband that he had heard I was some sort of local celebrity causing me to exclaim, “People do know the difference between notoriety and celebrity, right??”)
The reason that I keep doing these interviews – despite being horribly misquoted on at least two occasions (my fave was the writer who entirely fabricated an interview with me from start to finish, saying that I “always hugged the back wall of fitness classes or used the last elliptical because [I] was too afraid of people staring at [my] huge butt.” First, I am always annoyingly front and center in any fitness activity and second, for all my insecurities, my butt really isn’t one of them. It’s cute and perky and despite being minorly dimpled I love it. Truly, I have enough crazy for 10 articles, you don’t need to go making stuff up!) – is because I am hoping to help other women not make the same mistakes I did. Or, if they already have, know they aren’t alone. Lots of other people have done just that for me and it has made a huge difference in my life! It’s not a desperate bid for attention (and, for the record, I have never ever been paid to do an interview so it’s not a money thing) – I just want to keep the good mojo going.
And I do think I’m helping some people. At least, after every media appearance, I always – without fail – get quite a few e-mails/phone calls/comments telling me how I helped them or a family member. I’m still getting e-mails from that 20/20 segment and it’s been two years since I filmed it! No joke: Someone even wrote their graduate dissertation on it. (To all of you who have taken the time to write or otherwise contact me, I want to thank you with all my heart – you have no idea how much it means to me.)
But I still feel weird when I actually see the interviews on screen (confession: I watched my 20/20 interview exactly once and still cringe any time someone mentions it) or on paper. They always parse it so that all my lovable nuttiness gets smooshed together in one big block of crazy. I swear I’m not that insane in real life. Or maybe I’m deluded? Anyhow, with no further ado, I present to you the scanned version of my Fitness mag interview (click pictures to enlarge):
Now that you’ve read it, you will inevitably ask – people usually do – “But you’re better now, right?” I am. I’m better than I used to be. But I’m not cured. I think I’ll always trend towards the disordered side of things; I’m compulsive and perfectionistic by nature. That doesn’t mean I won’t stop working on it but don’t expect me to be perfect either. Exercise addiction is as insidious a disorder as any eating disorder. If you, or someone you know, (yeah, I just broke out the after-school special trope!), suffers from exercise addiction or exercise bulimia or compulsive over-exercise or cardioholism or whatever you want to call it, here are some additional resources:
From me:
The cost of excessive cardio
How to recognize exercise addiction
Bad things happen when you exercise too much
How over exercising made me gain weight and fat
Confessions of a compulsive over exerciser
Building in rests to your workout
Confessions of a pregnant compulsive exerciser, Part I
Compulsive over-exercise in pregnancy, Part II
From others:
Heather Eats Almond Butter recently blogged about breaking her addiction to cardio
Mark Sisson of Mark’s Daily Apple is a former elite triathlete who had a cardio addiction epiphany and now educates the masses about the physical toll of too much exercise.
Quix at Adjusted Reality recently wrote about how running a lot led to weight gain and overall frustration.
NY magazine has an article about the effects of prolonged exercise.
What about you – have you ever been addicted to exercise in an unhealthy way? How did you conquer it? What’s your view on cardio: cardio queen, everything in moderation or hate it?
the only time i was close to being addicted to exercise was right before i lost my job this summer.
i ran on mondays,
danced salsa for three hours on tuesdays,
yoga on wednesdays,
bellydancing and more running on thursdays,
felt guilty on fridays,
and went for strenuous hikes on the weekends.
and?
because of a thyroid problem that i'm still struggling with?
i didn't lose a pound.
it's actually been good for me to not have the funds
to be a part of a gym–
it's forced me to reevaluate my fitness goals,
and to remember that i need to focus on strength and flexibility,
instead of dropping back into my disordered obsession with three little numbers.
i'm getting back to running on a regular basis this week,
and i'm looking forward to it–
i want to be healthy, not frustrated.
so,
from one disordered-and-working-on-it to another,
i send you love and encouragement.
you are strong and beautiful, charlotte,
with or without five hours of cardio per day.
Just wanted to say that you don't sound overly crazy in the article. 🙂 You sound like you have a grip on the issue – you recognize it and are trying to deal with it instead of ignoring it. And maybe your recognizing that you aren't perfect in recovery – and going easy on yourself with recovery – is actually a good first step with easing up on the perfectionism? Just a though.
Oh, and most of us journalists make every effort not to misquote sources, to represent the original meaning of what you said even when we have to cut it for space, and definitely DON'T make up interviews! I'm sorry you got some of the (hopefully few) crappy ones!
It sounds like we have very similar pasts – right down to the thyroid issues! I'm so glad to hear that you are doing better with it all too!
Oh I know! The majority of journalists I've worked with have been wonderful and professional (including Jessica Girdwain in this article). It was just two instances that turned out badly. I'm glad you're one of the good ones!
Bummer- I click on the links but they are still small 🙁 I'll try again.
I've overexercised in the past. I'm more balanced now. I do take days off. I actually keep crazy scary records and have done for 10+ yrs of my exercise (I finally THREW AWAY all but the last 3 yrs worth of worthless scribble (in excel spreadsheet form, natch). Truth is that I do some form of exercise for about an hour per day, maybe a bit more… if you were to do the math (that's why that recent research was interesting to me). However, that includes about 8 days off (totally) and a couple of really light days per month. It includes walking as well. So some days I may take a cardio class then do 20 min of weights. Next day nothing. I feel pretty balanced now.
Glad you are more balanced too. 🙂
Got the links. Interesting. Yes, I use exercise to cope with stress also. Also interesting that the doc told you that you became hypothyroid due to overexercising. I was also under the impression that dieting has that effect. I see it all over the blogosphere- and I have the same issue myself with my thyroid. Oops nursing injuries all the time? guilty. Thanks for this post.
I couldn't read the articles either. Print was too small or my eyes need checked.
I've really don't think I've ever been a chronic over exerciser. I workout with kettlebells about 20-40 minutes 5x a week varying the intensity of each session and do taekwondo class 2-3x a week. (Unless we are sparring TKD isn't very intense) I also take 1-2 a week to rest. It doesn't feel excessive. I really think I lean towards being sedentary by nature. I could sit on my couch and surf the internet, read, nap, or daydream ALL DAY. Then when I do exercise anything over 40 minutes feels like forever and a day which is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE metabolic circuits. I have to constantly set mini goals and big goals for myself or I wouldn't exercise at all.
That article by Sisson is one of my favorites EVER. I've probably read it like 20 times b/c every time it makes me feel self-righteous about never liking long arduous cardio. 😉
The only time I exercised A LOT (2x a day a few days a week) was the TWO WEEKS before my first competition. I would strength train in the morning and 2-3 days a week I'd go for a long jog to burn a few extra calories. But like I said it lasted two weeks and it was only the FEAR of my butt on stage in a sliver of a bikini that got me moving. Otherwise I would have sat on the couch and read Mark's article while planing my weight training session. 😀
Charlotte, so much to remember
First the armpit talk, glad you caught that on the blog 🙂
The commenting thing..I NEVER feel pressure to come to your blog b/c you have kids and a life and if i mised a few posts, i know you'd understand. It's the 25 yr olds without hubs/kids that I feel a bit obligated to go to, it's strange.
The bathtub/5 kids discussion, totally LOL. Serioulsy that was good.
The fact that you've been interviewed and you're famous,or notorious, well, that's pretty damn cool.
My Running a Blog checklist, glad you enjoyed.
Being interviewed for a magazine, very cool…I am asked to do guest posts by bloggers Ive never even heard of. At least you're getting luckier than i am 🙂
is part number 626 about being addicted to weights?
I had that once.
until I realized that if I lifted my whole bod every day I got smaller and dimplier.
broke my addiction fast.
you know me and cardio—-I caint love it enough to get addicted.
now PEEPS? they are a different story.
I do love me some PEEPS.
because we were talking all about me–yes?
Yikes, that was an actual journalist who misquoted you like that? Shame on her/him. I think it’s great you’re willing to speak about your struggles so often. Sometimes over-exercising comes off as this great thing in the media because we’re in the midst of an obesity epidemic. I subscribe to Fitness, so I read the article a month or so ago and thought it was well done. It’s good to see you getting the word out.
I myself am not addicted to exercise. I could use some of your motivation, if you’re willing to spare a bit. I enjoy lifting weights, but cardio is my nemesis.
It's all about balance isn't it? This isn't an all or none thing. There are many shades of gray between black and white.
Great discussion on the precess of finding what is right for you, Charlotte.
I think its great that you are willing put yourself out there in order to try and help other people. Why someone feels the need to take that and mangle it with negativity is beyond me. While I don't share a compulsive exercise addiction, I tend to be obessive/ all-or-nothing with things in my life. Trying to find moderation is difficult.
Like Redhead says, part of the problem we perfectionists have is wanting to be perfect in recovery, and that doesn't work, lol! Coming to the realization that I am not, never have been and never will be perfect was a difficult wake-up call for me, but the next realization, that NO ONE other than me had a problem with my non-perfection was liberating!
I tell myself all the time to ease up on working out, and as soon as I do I get a new class to teach. So I'm learning to teach more off the reformer/mat. If I'm teaching 10 classes a week , I really need to pace myself!
Another part of the problem is that we read/hear all these stories about the "perfect" blend of exercise, that magical mix that will give us the PERFECT body (which also does not exist). Didn't we go through this a few years ago with carbs/fat/protein? Did everyone get and keep their dream body from that?
The best exercise is the one you enjoy. I tried to make myself into a distance runner. I hated every step, but I'd read it would make me thin, so I plodded along. Until I got shin splints.
Ultimately we are our own experts. We know what works for us and what doesn't when we start really paying attention to ourselves and our own bodies, rather than comparing ourselves to others.
That's one (of the many) great things about KBs – when you do them right, it's really hard to go too long! YOu just can't! I love that you read Sisson and feel self-righteous. I read Sisson and feel… guilty. 🙂
I will trade you all my peeps for your jelly beans! And I'll even throw in some bunny-shaped circus peanuts for good measure.
And I still don't enjoy lifting weights. I don't know that I ever will although I certainly do it. Started Core Performance today and my hammies are killing me!
Dieting can make you hypoT?? I hadn't heard that before. Lovely…
I think I may have overemphasized the bad experiences I've had – really there were only two that were horrible. Most of the journalists/producers I've worked with have been lovely, ethical people. But yes, the woman who completely made up the entire interview (including direct quotes!) wrote for a major national publication. I was so embarrassed.
I am so very bad at moderation. I'm working on it though!
\”Ultimately we are our own experts\” – you are a wise, wise woman! Speaking of Pilates – I'm thinking of doing a Pilates GFE. But I don't have access to a reformer so it would be a month of mat Pilates. Do you think that's a bad idea? Do I have to use a reformer to really see the benefits?
Hi Charlotte. I subscribe to fitness magazine, and I had no idea that this article was about you. It really hit home when I read it. I sort of felt like I was reading an article about myself. I also realized I had a problem when I avoided vacations or travel because I would not be able to work out. What also scared me was the fact that you said your overexercise caused thyroid problems. I too have recently been struggling with an out of wack thyroid, and I started to wonder whether they were connected. I am really glad that this story was published because so many people don't think of this as a disease, when it is just as dangerous as any other eating disorder. I recently found this blog a few monthes ago and since I have I check it everyday. I love it and your proof that this disorder can be overcome. I still struggle with overevercise and other problems, and I know the effect it has on my body, but I don't think I can ever stop. I hope that with time and effort I can achieve a better balance in my life. But in the meantime, I will keep on reading this amazing blog!
I am behind on my mag reading except Oxygen so I am going to get my Fitness mag & read it there. Too hard for my aging eyes on here. 🙂
I have not seen any of your TV appearances.
I think you are brave to expose yourself so that you can get "better" for lack of a better word. And I bet you have helped MANY by bringing this out in the open! I mean that!
I think some people would say I am addicted to exercise & I think I am in a good way. Yes, my workouts are crazy BUT I also do cardio, weights, abs & stretching so they are inclusive in a healthy way. I have changed them thru time based on how my bod reacts & I take 2 full days off per week. I did not do that in my younger days.
I guess it is always hard to be objective about ourselves But I think I am obsessive in a semi good way & yet like you, I do think thru the travel & how I will plan for that & getting my cardio in. Saying tat, I have headed out for vacation, worked out way less than at home & been fine…
Charlotte, you have such great posts!
Charlotte, I know you're nuts, but that's why I love you so. 🙂
Thanks for the shout-out. For me, I had to go cold turkey. No running for a month. Nothing but yoga for 30 days, and by the end of the month, I was amazed at how much better I felt and looked. That's all it took. 🙂
To add to the higher-intensity-for-long-durations-isn't-better argument, the diabetes educator I worked with when first diagnosed with said I needed a minimum of 30 minutes of moderate exercise, 5 days per week, for diabetes management purposes. She added that overdoing exercising (more intensity than one is ready for) can raise blood glucose levels, because stresses on the body in general raise blood glucose levels; I have experienced this at times, especially earlier on, as I was getting back into fitness. I don't plan to give up the events that I love, but I've found that I need to alternate my training days with lighter activity days. But yes, sometimes it's hard to find a good balance. This is one area where Daily Mile is dangerous for me, at least the "social networking" side of it: it's too easy to compare and feel like I'm falling behind when everyone else is "Shredding" daily or doing 8 mile runs and the like.
Well only the no cardio part. 😉
The food is another story. Although I'm not 100% convinced of the paleo/primal way of eating though.
Thank you! This made my whole day! I'm sorry that you too are struggling with this. But the good news is that backing off on the exercise fixed my thyroid issue without medication! We'll get through this together!
Thanks! I want to emphasize that not everyone who exercises a lot has a problem with compulsive exercise. A lot of it has to do with the mentality. It says it in the article but the problem is when your workouts control you rather than the other way around. It sounds like you've got it going on the right way!
I really need to try this. Other than the end of my pregnancy, I've never taken such a long hiatus from running. I want to do a pure Yoga Experiment but none of the gym buddies are up for it. I'm working on them though!
I'd never heard about high intensity's effect on blood sugar before! That is fascinating – I will have to look into that more. Anyhow, I'm so glad you are sticking with moderation. I totally know what you mean about the social pressure though – I SO FEEL that too.
I don't know if you've read far enough back in my posts but I've done the 30 day Primal experiment twice. EPIC FAILURE. Probably the worst outcome of any experiment I've ever done. My conclusion? The Paleo/Primal lifestyle works very well for some people. But not for me. AT ALL.
No I didn't know that. Very interesting. I find it fascinating how different people respond to different approaches to food. I've never gone totally primal (I love cheese) but last August I cut out all grains for a month and I felt FANFLIPPINTASTIC! I had tons of energy and less mood swings. The thing is though I really enjoy grains and I don't necessarily feel "bad" when I eat them. It's just takes serious discipline not to binge on them. I find when I eliminate them cravings greatly subside and I lean out fairly quickly without much effort. I don't think I will ever cut out Ezekiel bread, oats, or rice though…so I deal with grain induced cravings. I also just not totally on board that we need to eat like the Flintstones to reach optimal health.
Sorry another novel. You would think that this was my blog or something. 😉
I bought Fitness just to read your piece a couple of weeks ago (be impressed – i'm in New Zealand!). Thanks for posting again on this problem, reading your blog really helps me with this exact same issue. There's a couple of guys at my gym who i suspect have the same problem as me. I can't say anything as that's hypocritical. But i'd like to know in general what people should say to OTHERS who they see this problem in…Thanks again for the post Charlotte.
I was hoping you would write up a new posting about this, since this is why I first became hooked into your site. I was looking online for someone else who had this "issue" and was happy to see I am not alone.
I am still consumed in this battle. I average about 6 hours a day/7 days a week/365 days a year (this has been going on consistently for almost 2 years). ALL cardio. I don't dislike weights, I just do not have time to fit them in when I would rather do cardio. The high/escapism I get from the cardio is what fuels this "addiction". When I am under a lot of stress the exercising increases. While unemployed for 3 months I spent 12 hours a day rotating between gyms to rid my mind of bad thoughts. I have lost over 110 pounds, which at first was great since I was severly overweight, but now I am dealing with all the health issues: muscle injuries, fatigue, cardiac abnormalities that it brings to the table. My doctors/therapists are stumped. I have not had any success with medications, therapy, tough love, etc. I want to and know I need to stop, but as you know it's such an uphill battle.
Thanks for bringing so much light to this issue.
That's a fascinating question – I'll have to think on that one. Maybe do a whole post on it. It's so hard to know what to say to someone and yet it's also hard to stand by and watch a friend hurt themselves. In the meantime, take gentle care of yourself! And thank you for buying the mag for my story, lol!
Oh honey!! I know exactly what you mean about the escapism aspect. It creates this whole vicious cycle. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy, specifically ERP (Exposure response prevention)? I have had the most success with these OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) therapies than anything else I've tried. It meant I had to find a therapist that specialized in OCD but also had a background in eating disorders. Took me 5 separate therapists to finally find the right one – DON'T give up! You are too important!!
Hahah! No worries – I could talk endlessly on this subject. The research on Primal fascinates me. It's the ONLY Experiment I've done twice because I just keep thinking that other people feel so good on it, that it should work for me. Sadly it had the opposite effect for me: my moods crashed and I had the one and only true binge of my entire life . It was so scary! But then I read how you felt fantastic and I'm like hmmmm…. maybe I need to try it again! Lol.
Hi Charlotte. I exercise 6-7 days of the week for about an hour at the gym, then I'll go to yoga once a week. If I don't do something that day I get antsy. I recently started to think this was a real problem that I shouldn't feel this way. I'm trying to cut back to mostly lifting and yoga, but I keep thinking that I'm going to gain weight if I stop doing cardio. It's true that the exercise doesn't even help me lose those stubborn last 5 pounds either. I see women like me at the gym all the time. The ones that go from one class to next day in and day out and look exactly the same as when they started. More is not better.
Cardio has a weird feed back loop. At first you lose weight, then you think you should do more of it to lose more weight, but it just all stops working. Good luck with your battle.
This: \”It's true that the exercise doesn't even help me lose those stubborn last 5 pounds either. I see women like me at the gym all the time. The ones that go from one class to next day in and day out and look exactly the same as when they started. More is not better. \” IS SO TRUE. I need to be reminded of this.
I've opened a bunch of your links and will read them today. This post worries me as I only build in one rest day per week and always feel guilty for NOT working out on that day. I may have a problem, but fingers crossed I don't.
Hugs. I will read these links in between working on papers today- what shocked me was when I REALIZED that I was addicted to exercise. I freaked out one day when something came up to prevent me from going out on a planned walk. Now I try to look at it all as something beneficial and therapeutic instead of an obsession, and I find that that REALLY helps.
PS About what Sue said- I find that it's pretty much all nutrition for me that is what has the biggest impact on my weight gain/loss. Exercise doesn't have nearly as much affect as food does!
I read that article a little while ago (and when I realized it was you, I squealed!) and thought about whether it applied to me. I went through the 'Are you overdoing it?' questionaire and answered 'yes' to more than one…But ultimately, I don't think I qualify. I recently had back surgery, and before the surgery I was in a panic about WHEN I could get back on the elliptical and HOW SOON I could start up my workout classes again. I made the decision that at 3-weeks post-surgery, I'd get back on, rain or shine. It's now been almost 7 weeks since the surgery, and I've exercised once. And I feel fine about it. I'm sure that as soon as the doctor clears me, I will start working out again, but I'll ease myself into it, and I won't panic if I gain a pound here or there. So I feel pretty good about my habits!
Thanks for the link love (I was wondering why I was getting a bunch of pingbacks, hehe). I also can't read the article but I'm going to try tomorrow on a bigger monitor.
I'm trying to find the right ratio for non-training times. I have proven to myself over and over that I just can't train for long races and lose weight (heck, maintaining is a challenge), so I need breaks. I just need to figure out what works best for me in the meantime. I had some real success with 4 long kick ass workouts per week, but my life right now is just not accomidating that. So, I'm trying 6 days per week, but very moderate amounts of *something* and only 2 days of running. And watching my food intake like a hawk.
I've given myself a month. Let's see if it works! *crosses fingers*
that's a very colorful ass portrait… well, it is!!!
Yeah, you liked it!
I am careful to watch for exercise addiction, though being lazy by nature keeps me somewhat safe. I just read Mark's Daily Apple (or started to), but I'm uncomfortable that a person can mention burning of fats, ATP, but not glycogen? I'm also not convinced that he doesn't have ATP and lactate confused, though it's been decades since I've studied this stuff. I'm going to head back into my organic chemistry and try to remember what's going on, but in the meantime, consider me skeptical.
Definitely let me know what you find out! I'm very interested.
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