Betrayed by my body. Well it wouldn’t be the first time, I thought grimly as I sat in my flimsy paper gown listening to the doctor explain the results of my previous testing. (Dear doctor, please at least allow me the dignity of being lectured with my clothes on next time.) Seriously rank flatulence in a crowded …
Hey girlfriends! Remember the good ol’ days when men were men and women were… prepubescent children? Like the time the fashion world crowned Elle Fanning the new “It Girl” at just 12 years old? The Daily Beast wrote unironically, “Though she’s still missing five teeth, Elle has shot up to 5-foot-6, and dresses look good on …
This is the best marriage proposal ever. The only way this could get any better is if she was puking. I love it so much. How do you think he’ll do it? Is he the get-on-one-knee kind of guy? He better not have picked out the ring without at least asking your style! Did you remember …
Read more “The Gift of Cold [Or: The Worst Marriage Proposal Ever]”
If you haven’t seen this yet, it’s pretty awesome. Eyes! EYES! Nose! NOSE! Ears! EARS! The roar of teenage girls filled the small room at my church last night as we ended our seminar on self-defense. I wish I could say that their roar was defiant, strong, a unified cacophony of empowered (pre) women. …
This is the universal symbol for “your yoga teacher is a perv.” Grabbing your throat with both hands is the universally recognized symbol for choking. Likewise, a palm facing out means “stop” (“in the name of the love” optional). And now, thanks to The Bachelor, handing anyone a flower translates to “I love you at …
Read more “From the Head Tap to the HRM: Fitness Shorthands You Need To Know (And a few you don’t)”
All the cars parked up on snowbanks should have been my first clue that something was amiss at the gym this morning. But I was fortunate to have a parking spot open up right in front of me and so I paid no attention to the fact that my spot was the only open one …
In 1912, a 24-year-old co-ed named Elsie Scheel was proclaimed “the world’s most perfect woman” and “without physical flaw.” (Which on the surface seems like the best compliment ever but on second thought might have been a lot of pressure to put on a young girl who said she would return to her parents’ farm instead of …
College is a gauntlet of growing up in so many ways – the day I discovered the horror of the overdraft fee stands out in vivid memory – but for many it’s also a time of growing, er, out. As in the Freshman 15. Over the holidays I had a chance to chat with a …
I wish. Crouched low over the bathtub, I laid my head against the cool wall as I switched the blowdryer to my other hand, careful to keep the hot air trained on a small, nubby, once-blue, now-damp baby blanket. “Are you done yet?” I heard my husband call over the sound of our son …
Read more “4 Tips for Preventing the Stomach Flu (And what to do when you get it anyhow)”
I don’t even know what’s happening here but I love it. Dec. 31, 2012, 12:59 p.m. Me: 10-9-8-7DickClarkMayHeRestInHeaven-6-5-4-3-2… Yay! Happy New Year! Husband: Arriba! Prospero ano y felicidad! Kiss kiss hug hug “Get a room!” “We have several and are paying way more than they’re worth every day!” “Wow. Buzzkill.” “Here’s to 2013, the year …
