“Don’t you know how many calories are in that?” “Should you really be eating that?” “But you have such a pretty face…” “I’m just being honest for your own good. I’m concerned about your health!” Despite what shows like The Biggest Loser and shrieking harpies like Meme Roth contend, shaming people – no matter how politely or well-intended you …
Yep. This would save me a lot of time in the mornings. I had an embarrassing moment in the furniture store. This, surprisingly, was a new venue for me. While I’ve humiliated myself in every conceivable way in the gym (mooning, flashing, peeing, vomiting through my nose – you name it, I’ve done it) and …
Read more “Suckered by a Skinny Mirror [My Most Embarrassing Furniture Store Moment]”
Do you remember the day you got your first period? Of course you do! (Unless you’re a dude and then take a hall pass and excuse yourself for the day. You’re welcome.) Because it was like the biggest deal ever when we were kids! I blame that on not being able to drive, date or …
Read more ““You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone!” Signed, Your Period [All about amenorrhea]”
Everytime I see this picture I get all mushified inside! Awwww! New parents! There are lots of things no one tells you about childbirth. Like, for instance, that all that push-push-PUSH!-ing can give you hemorrhoids and break blood vessels in your eyes. (Because looking more tired and uncomfortable is exactly what every new mom needs, …
If you recall, this did not end well for me either. Lies I have told myself: – The sunglasses I bought for $10 in Mexico really are Oakleys. – If it’s on clearance then I have to buy it because it’s practically giving me money back. – No one will notice if my son isn’t …
See? We’re so obsessed with thick, luscious locks that even adorably bald babies are supposed to put a mop on their top to prove they’re a girl! Big accomplishment today: Remember the age-old gym debate of camel toe versus muffin top? You know, when you can’t decide whether to hike your ill-fitting workout pants up …
TRUTH Signed, a mom of four lego-loving cleaning-averse kids People are so astonished when I tell them I have a 17-year-old sister that, I’ll admit it, I kind of like shocking them with that info. (Really I have so very few things I can use to shock people that if I have to rely on …
Read more “What Christine Needed [5 Lessons I Learned From My Terminally Ill Sister]”
My Y Girls: See, it’s not weird if everyone’s doing it!! I love you guys! Zumba: The official sponsor of ducklips. And you know that I say that with love. After all, just check out my FB photos for evidence that I too have suffered from the dreaded Ducklip Disease. But ducklips are now a regular …
My in-laws are coming today to visit for five days. I have a cold. (Or wicked allergies. Still not sure.) My toilet keeps overflowing. The dishwasher literally fell out of its cabinet. Our only “spare” room is super hospitable with 2x4s and concrete. I dropped my cellphone in the toilet. After Jelly Bean peed in …
This is exactly how I do it. Gives a whole new meaning to “these biscuits go straight to my tummy!” “You might be a bad mother if…” This weeks answer: Your kid always knows which items are yours at the bake sale due to the bright orange Sale! sticker on the package. Similar to redneck …
Read more “Foodie Fundraisers: Do You Bake or Buy? And Do You Go Healthy??”
