Don’t let the smiling kids throw you off. This is really a horror story. Sip. Slurp. Chomp. Smack. Gulp. If listening to someone chew their food makes you want to either smack their lips off or chew your own ears off to make the noise stop, know that you are not alone. And not only …
Not making a good case for yourselves, outdoor worker-outers! “BOCK! Bockbockbock!!” During a recent visit to Denver’s central park, my 6-year-old son amused himself (and everyone else) by chasing the geese while yelling this, proving by our poor grasp of animal noises that we have clearly not spent enough time studying Old McDonald Had a …
We’re all about learning new stuff these days. For instance Jelly Bean is learning how to tie bows (and therefore only wears things with tie-able parts… and only ties them in the front). So when my friend Heather offered to teach me how to can peaches, I jumped on it. It helped that peaches are …
If something is good for you then more of it should be great for you, right? Duh. Isn’t that basically the first law of health?? Yeah, okay so that’s obviously stupid – I learned the fallacy of that the hard way during the great Over Training Debacle of ’08! – and yet lots of health …
I love this ad! I bet Death is a smoker. Everything I learned about fitness models I learned from a stripper. Well, an ex-stripper. She was at the book-signing table next to me at local event a while back and because neither of us were selling any books (book signing = sitting and trying not …
Read more “Life Lessons From A Stripper: Can You Get a Dancer’s Body Just From Dancing?”
This is a gift that is ALWAYS appropriate to give… Because skunk butthole. Help! Someone call 911!! When you hear this on TV, people immediately come running to the rescue. In real life, as I learned on the 4th of July, sometimes it takes a minute to sink in. One minute we were happily taking an …
So I tried really hard to find you guys a funny 4th of July picture. Pages of Google later all I’d come up with were ecards about not combining booze and fireworks, pictures of girls with their boobs painted to look like flags and a whole bunch of political jokes ranging from mildly offensive to …
I am so totally a trendsetter, you guys. At least according to the CDC – the arbiter of all things cool, right? Being a long-standing citizen of Medication Nation, I was very interested in their latest numbers on how much Americans love our pills. Two fun trends have emerged over the past decade: 1. According …
Man, I miss Calvin! Burping noxious flavors is my primary concern when deciding what to eat pre-workout. Especially now that I have a couple of friends that I go running with a few mornings a week (friends! yay!!). We go early early to avoid both our kids and the hot sun and so this idea …
And, done! Who says I haven’t accomplished anything? Things That Happened on My 35th Birthday – My husband brought me flowers. – I took mine and my sister’s kids swimming. (Jelly Bean looked at me in my swimsuit and asked why my legs are so “bumpy like a dinosaur!” To which I got to explain …
