How to Introduce Someone to Fitness (By Scaring Them With Bears): The Cranky Fitness Guide to Exercise!

Jan doesn’t actually recommend doing this exercise – she just recommends thinking about it. And then laughing a lot. Personally, I learned the fundamentals of fitness from a liquid-tanned dude in a banana hammock and a woman who was in all likelihood on the juice. Not everyone is so fortunate. And while I do actually …

Dun, Dun, Dun: It’s Hyper-Focused Girl! [Is not being able to multi-task a superpower or a super pain?]

See, you just have to be able to focus on the IMPORTANT stuff. Like making that perfect Look-at-me-being-all-cute-but-trying-to-smirk-a-little-so-I-don’t-look-like-a-narcissist face. I used to be proud of my multi-tasking abilities. Juggle two jobs while raising four kids and still plan a date night with my husband? Just hand me my cape and I’ll jump over that (office) building …

I Don’t Know What to Say to This: “Hello, fellow gym-goers, look at my fat butt”

We’ve all got our issues… I’m actually scared to write about this. Seriously. I’ve started and stopped this post like ten times today. Re-wrote the intro at least three times (none of which made it on here clearly since this one sucks). Trashed it. Undeleted it. Stuck it in a future blog fodder folder. And …

Pull Out the Pizelle Maker: It’s Weird Holiday Food Time!

It’s not just families that makes weird food for the holidays apparently. Peppermint potato chips?! On second thought, sweet-and-salty is a pretty awesome flavor combo… “Wow, you must really love cooking!” a friend exclaimed yesterday when she dropped by unexpectedly to find me under a pile of dirty dishes surrounded by 72 muffins (however would …

Happy Thanksgiving! Or (Depending on where you live) Happy Thursday!

I’m taking this long weekend to hang with my family, read a lot of books and eat some (okay, a lot) of my mom’s famous raspberry pretzel Jell-O salad (don’t knock it ’till you’ve tried it!). I hope that wherever you are you are having a glorious Thanksgiving or at least an exceptional Thursday:) Because …

Can Your Energy Drink Kill You? [From Cola to Cracker Jacks, caffeine is everywhere – but just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s safe]

infographic from the hilarious Onion.com. Eighteen deaths may not sound like a lot, especially in a world where millions of energy drinks are sold and consumed each year, an $8.9 billion-dollar industry. But that’s still 18 people whose lives were possibly cut short thanks to, well, a short cut. And if the death toll isn’t …

Period Cramping Your Workout? You Need This. [How to make sure any blood you leave on the mats is only from your torn hangnail]

Boys, consider yourself warned: You’re just going to want to skip this post. Benjamin Franklin forgot something when he said that “nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” Namely, menstrual cycles. Being that he’s a man, I suppose I’ll have to forgive him for not knowing what millenia of women do: …

Saunas: To sweat or not to sweat? [My adventures in naked sitting]

Naked sitting does not, generally, sit well with me. This has ruled out quite a few potentially enjoyable activities for me: massages, bath houses, nude yoga, and partying with Prince Harry. Oh, and saunas. I’ve always hated saunas. If it wasn’t the fear of the super bacteria doing the fertility fox trot in what is …

T-Shirt Cutting Trend: Fun or Janet Jackson Waiting to Happen? [Plus: Giveaway winners!]

Pinterest in the wrong hands (i.e. mine) can be dangerous! After searching for new ways to cut up a workout tee, I came up with this Wolverine-meets-Blue-Man-Group idea! Cute and quirky? Or wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen?? All I did was take a blue Gap workout tee I found at a thrift store and cut …

Somewhere My Mother is Laughing Herself Sick: Payback is a Toddler

A trip. A fall. All for the love of a twisted, slippery, seasonally inappropriate jelly sandal. A tragedy of toddler proportions. This is how my day started. I carried Jelly Bean out to the car, sobbing into my hair about her “owie foot”, carried her into the house, carried her upstairs to get her beloved blanky, carried …