Someone stole my book. Right off the dumbbell rack on the weight floor where I’d left it propped open with a 2-pounder. (Because what else do you do with a 2-lb dumbbell? Use it to crack pecans? Roll out dough? Do that weird forearm exercise where you curl it backwards??) In all my years of …
I swear I have actually done this. Like in the last week. Indecisive. If there was a word to sum up what I am these days that would be it. This is actually the fourth post I’ve started today, having abandoned all the others because… because. True story: At the grocery store yesterday the cashier …
Hi! What did you have for dinner tonight? Was it good? I hope so! Because I had butt. Well, not literal butt – rump roast is actually pretty tasty – but my dinner tasted like the south end of a northbound horse. Or the scent of the newest celebrity “designed” perfume. Or anything coming out …
Complicating easy things is kinda my life’s work. I don’t want to brag or anything but I’m pretty much a genius at making things look hard. Whether it’s this whole motherhood thing – I’ve left a child at the gym so many times that it’s now standard operating procedure to do a headcount every time …
“I hate to go and leave this pretty sight! Doot do do do doot do do do! (Which is beluga whale for ‘Run! The Nazis are coming.’) What we talk about after our workout: Butt blisters. Creepy come-on lines. Potty training. The salt content of cruise-ship food. How to make your own tutu. If pink …
Read more “What To Say When You Can’t Say Goodbye [Stupid things I have said to Allison]”
Admit it, you’ve ridden the Pinterest roller coaster: It starts with the high of finding the perfect little black dress, quickly followed by the decision to find the perfect workout to make you look hot in said dress, then comes the mania of looking through 11,230 fitness pinboards, followed by the low of desperation when you realize …
Read more “When Pinspiration Goes Bad: The weirdest, funniest and just-might-work-iest healthy pins”
This “super slimmer” face mask from japan claims to burn calories (from your face?!) while you sleep. That is, if you can sleep in something that looks like the brainchild of Hannibal Lecter and a Mary Kay salesman. You’ve seen the workout program ads: in between shots of glistening, contracting abdominals and hyper smiling people …
Did you know people take pictures of their food? And post them to public places? For dubious reasons other than just enjoying a well-plated meal? It’s like A Thing. And this Thing might be making us all obese or have eating disorders. [Social] Science says so. Commence freaking out. [Forgive me if I sound glib …
Read more “Do You Take Pictures of Your Food? New Research Says You Might Be Messed Up”
Memorial Day weekend will find my family and I memorializing our time in Minnesota as we close this chapter of our lives and start the Colorado one. It’s exciting. It’s terrifying. The day I found out (Friday) I spent the entire afternoon laying in my bed weeping and watching a Call the Midwife marathon. (If …
Sitting alone on the exam table, in a paper gown and feeling naked in more ways than one, I stared down at the number on the card in my hand. It was for a geneticist so I could be tested for the BRCA gene, a known marker for breast cancer. “It’s time, Charlotte,” my doctor …
