How to Combat a Fat-and-Ugly Attack! [Since un-tagging myself in photos isn’t working]

I love love love Natalie Dee.

This weekend something awesome happened: My husband’s grandmother, the last living grandparent either one of us has, came to visit. It was the first time my children have ever met their great-grandmother although they know her well from the cards and stickers she sends them on their birthdays. In the entire 14 years my husband and I have been married, Grandma Ann has never forgotten a birthday – not even mine. (A stark contrast to my own grandmother who gave me exactly one birthday gift in my entire life and that was a pair of used underwear.) We spent a wonderful day with her and at 86 she’s as sprightly and fun as pop rocks in Sprite.

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 When Grandma Ann saw this picture I apologized for Son #3 on the right. “Oh, it’s okay,” she said, patting my arm. “There’s always one!” “In every family?” I finished. “No, in every picture! They’re kids,” she laughed. 

Afterwards my husband was admiring all the great pictures we’d taken with four generations of his family and that was when I had to go and ruin all the fun.

“You didn’t tag me in those pictures, did you?” I asked as I hovered over his shoulder.

“Uh no, not yet. You want me to?” he answered.

And then I turned into winged gremlin and flew shrieking across the room. “Nooooooooo!!!!!” Okay, I tried to make it sound casual. More of a “Nooo!” Three “o”s = very restrained.

“Why?” he said, completely unaware of the landmine trigger he just stepped on.

“Because I LOOK FAT!!!” The pictures weren’t terribly flattering…

Ka-boom! 

Normally my husband is very understanding of my body issues but tonight he looked firmly at me and said, “You know, not everything is about you.”

And he’s right. This weekend was about enjoying time with family, not about my poor choice of a horizontally striped sweater. But all of a sudden none of that mattered as I was firmly in the grip of a fat and ugly attack – FU for short. And when I’m feeling FU, nothing else matters. And that’s the real damage of a FU attack.

Have you ever had a “fat and ugly attack”? It’s like being on one of those makeover TV shows where everyone who you thought loved you shows up to tell you that you dress like a 50-year-old Amish hooker. From the 80’s. And then giggles while they go through your stretched out sweat pants and you try not to cry on camera. Except that instead of being attacked by your family and friends (seriously what is up with those shows?) you’re attacked by your own mind.

A pile of discarded clothes on my closet floor: this is where it usually begins for me. No matter what I try on, everything makes me feel fat. Jeans make my thighs look like sausages. Dresses make me look pregnant. And every t-shirt I own hits at exactly the widest part of my hips making me feel like Tweedle Dee. (Especially when I wear skinny jeans – will someone please please bring back high-waisted wide-legged pants??) Gah! I’m so fat and ugly!! I wail. And as the day continues I see everything through that lens. Grocery checker doesn’t make small talk? It’s because she thinks I’m hideous. Guy compliments my shoes? It’s because he thinks the rest of me is fug. Friends aren’t as chatty as usual? It’s because they know I’ve gained weight and are too embarrassed to tell me. Kids have a bad day at school? It’s because they have a crazy mom so what else can be expected of them? You see where this is going, I think. It sucks. And it makes everything else suck.

Back when I was deep in my eating disorder(s), I used to have fat and ugly attacks all the time. Every day. I was super skinny and yet every time I went out I was sure everyone was thinking about how huge I was. It’s so weird now looking back at pictures – I honestly can’t believe that girl was ever me because what I looked like on the outside never ever matched how I felt on the inside. But as I’ve continued with my recovery I’ve had fewer and fewer of these attacks. While I’m still not 100% immune (um, obviously) I’ve been doing so much better! Which is why I am so disappointed in myself tonight.

It reminded me of a past Facebook status from my sister:

“Big ol’ fat-and-ugly attack tonight. Geneen Roth says that just calling it out for what it is and naming it is supposed to stop it. Not really. What do you people do when you are tired, frustrated, and disappointed with yourself? ‎Charlotte Hilton Andersen I’m tagging you here because, seriously, what do I do?” [Charlotte’s note: Geneen Roth is the author of many books on Intuitive Eating – I adore her.]

First I have to say that I love Facebook for always having everyone’s full names on there. Now when I talk to my friends in my head (what – you don’t do that?) I automatically insert their maiden names. I can’t tell you all 50 state capitals – as I discovered helping my 4th grader with his homework recently – but I sure can recite all the married and maiden names of my college roommates from junior year! It reminds me of when we actually had to memorize people’s phone numbers if we wanted to call them without looking at the list taped to the wall. I’m old. ANYHOW.

So I tried to remember the advice I gave my sister. Not because I’m so wise but because sometimes the best thing is just knowing that you’re not alone. And because my husband is right: it’s not about me, it’s about this:

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 Four generations of Andersen ladies! (And I’m not posting this to fish for “it’s not that bad, you look fine!” compliments but rather to show myself that one unflattering pic is not a big deal. Especially when it’s a once-in-a-lifetime moment like this!)

Charlotte’s Tips for Combating a Fat and Ugly Attack

1. It’s not about the fat. It’s also not about your clothes, your hair, your zits, your back rolls or any other physical feature you are feeling self conscious about. For me it’s about feeling overwhelmed and helpless and frustrated and sad and having nowhere else to put those feelings except in my too-tight jeans. It’s about having uncomfortable feelings not knowing where to put them. So instead we manifest all our woes onto something we can control: our bodies.

2. It’s a learned skill. I don’t want to speak for her but I’m not sure Geneen Roth meant to make it sound that simple. Naming and recognizing a fat and ugly attack for what it is is a very powerful first step. Sometimes just saying “Oh look I’m having a FU moment, let’s figure out what’s really bugging me” is enough to derail that train but getting to this point takes work. It was immensely hard at first but it does get easier.

3. Fake it till you make it. Even if saying the right things doesn’t make you feel better right away, we are what we (obsessively) think and eventually you will believe it. Have you ever tried looking yourself in the eyes, in a mirror and saying out loud “I love you. Thank you for all of this, for everything you do for me. You’re beautiful.”? It is way harder than it sounds. I bawled my eyes out the first time I actually got the words out of my mouth. But it sends a very powerful message to yourself that you are not beautiful because of your body or in spite of your body, that you are just simply beautiful. Period.

4. Meditate. It’s cliche but it helps. Even something as simple as sitting down – I’m already on the floor in my closet anyhow, right? – and breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth while you count your breaths will make you feel better. Yes it will! Don’t look at me like that. I swear it helps.

5. It’s worth it. All of this work? This blood, sweat and tears? This rewiring of our brains? It’s worth the effort. Because you are worth the effort.

At this point, I usually think “But what if I really am fat/gained weight? Shouldn’t I feel fat about that?” No. Seriously. “Feeling fat” is not the same as being fat or gaining weight. The latter terms, when stripped of all their societal implications, are just clinical terms. But feeling fat, well, that is a slurry of shame and you don’t have to drink it.

I’ve talked on here already about the weight I’ve gained this past year. No I don’t know why and I don’t know how much and no I’m not weighing myself again (see there are modern-day miracles) but I can tell because my pants and skirts are all too tight and – TMI alert! – my underwear is cutting into my skin where it didn’t used to. So yeah, I’ve put on some pounds. In the past this would have sent me into full-on diet craziness but this time, whether from being smarter or just lack of options, I’ve tried to be gentler with myself. The point is: I’m okay with it. Life is hard sometimes and I’m doing the best I can to take care of myself and that is something to be proud of.

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Because while there are many family traits I want to pass down to my kids, FUs aren’t one of them.

Do you ever have fat and ugly attacks? How do you combat them? What advice would you add to my list? Do you ever un-tag yourself in photos??

 

(The mouse over text said “People like to make fun of burquinis but I think they’re a great idea.”)

30 Comments

  1. First of all: “FU attack”. Love the name. Also because you can read it in another way, and then it’s quite descriptive of the attitude towards myself that I seem to take during one.

    My attacks have a strong correlation with eating…and eating, and eating, until there is nothing left to eat. I’m not good at actually dealing with or preventing the attacks, but there’s something helpful about remembering that I am making choices all the time. Even if I made the choice to “combat” (read: prolong) an FUA with eating, _any time_ I get up to find more food I can also choose to go and brush my teeth and get on with life. And I have done. Baby steps, but yes, it’s worth it. Thanks for a timely reminder!

  2. Goodness, I love this post–thank you! It is amazing to me how we can have F & U attacks one minute and feel just great the next. I’m guilty of this all the time, and my husband? Totally thinks I’m crazy so I keep them to myself. I, like you, am a no-scale advocate but I think sometimes that can drive you as nuts as the numbers on the scale. When things are too tight, we aren’t quantifying the damage so it feels huge. My latest thought, and I want to write about this but haven’t figured out how yet, is about how the F & U stage happens generally when I’m taking a much needed break from rigorous strength training, and going outside and just hiking or walking instead. Still exercise everyday, but just different. I have lately told myself that it’s ok to have an “on” season and “off season”, like athletes do–makes me feel much better: it’s not that I have gained weight, it’s just not training season: once I get to work again, it’ll be just fine!

  3. You are so right… feeling fat is way different than actually having a lot of bodyfat. I am guilty of feeling fat especially now as I recover from an injury. It’s the worst!

  4. I’ve been having many FU attacks since last June when my doctor suggested I gain some weight before I tried to get pregnant. It was TOUGH–every week, less and less of my clothes fit. I ended up going up two pants sizes. I kept reminding myself I had a purpose for this… but it was still hard. I felt like everywhere I went people were looking at me, thinking “Wow, she’s really let herself go.” But, then, I got pregnant! And suddenly it was all worth it 🙂

  5. Thank you for sharing that last cartoon image. It had me cracking right up (yes, at “do I have a labia hanging out” because it’s early in the morning and I just wasn’t expecting to see the word labia this early and labia is a funny word and. . .I’m getting giddy!)

    Now every time I wear my swimsuit I’m going to to think of that cartoon and maybe I’ll just chill and enjoy being on the beach or at the pool and not freak over thinking every dang person is scrutinizing me (because they totally aren’t–they don’t care!).

  6. I quit weighing myself a few months ago and was reveling in how much better I felt psychologically without that number hanging over my head. But…..then I went to a new doctor last week, got weighed and freaked out over the number on the scale. There has been some FU talk in my head but I am trying to keep it in check. One thing I would add to your list is to think about all the other ways you are valuable. When I get going in the FU talk it can feel like I am worthless if my weight isn’t at that golden number when in reality, I am more than just a number in my scale and measurements. My husband, kids, friends don’t love me because I keep my weight in check. I am MORE than that. I look at my son with CP, and think I don’t love him less, he isn’t less valuable because his body isn’t perfect and so I can’t apply that same thinking to myself.

    • This is from a Nike ad that ran years ago and I find it an empowering reminder that I make up more than my weight.

      “A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve. By where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers. By all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics, and statistics lie.”

    • I too had to be weighed at the doctor’s since banning scale use. I asked the nurse if I could stand on the scale backwards and to please not tell me my weight. I felt a little awkward about it at first because I suspect it screams having issues with weight/ body image/ eating. But the panic I felt in anticipation of that number was much stronger than any awkwardness I felt. The nurse was perfectly happy to comply. I’m sure I’m not the first person to have asked. Just a suggestion to avoid having to see that number without having to get on the scale for a legitimate reason like health records.

  7. I can’t believe you haven’t heard them called fugly attacks; that’s the abbreviation I’ve always heard.

    I’m more interested in the grandma visit. Does she live far away? How long did she visit? Will she be coming again? Seems like a few visits from this lady would go a long way towards erasing the toxic effects of the “other” grandma.

  8. Ugh. “Feeling fat”. That’s the REAL curse. Forget shark week – that shows up on a calendar and rarely blindsides you. You can just be cruising along, doing fine, and suddenly, WHAM! A FUA takes you OUT. And how sad that it had to happen to you this weekend. Hopefully you were able to enjoy spending time with all those great women…Your tips are great – but when you are in the moment, you just have to take a firm hold of your shoulders and give yourself a good shake. (Thanks to your dh for doing that for you! Brave man to poke the bear!) (And live…)

  9. I am thinking it was something in the water…
    As for the great grandma, she sounds perty awesome. My bub calls ours her favorite grandma. Whether she is the favorite or is just confusing favorite with great is up for debate but it is super cute.
    Btw, I love the blue of that sweater.

  10. A few points…

    – I am MUCH too young for that last cartoon.

    – Talk about “to run where the brave dare not go…” (Your husband.)

    – In an Spiderman comic I read years ago…Peter Parker had a poster on his wall that read: “Everyday in every way…you are getting better and better.”

    This is why he was the superhero I related to the most because in spite of all of his abilities he was the Charlie Brown of the enhanced ability set. And of all the Charlie Browns in the world I was the Charlie Browniest.

    Every time I watch “The Princess Bride” (and I watch it a lot) I always laugh during the sword-fight between the Man in Black – Wesley, and Inigo. (By the way, the FIRST time I watched that movie I knew that the sword styles they were talking about were real! Bonetti, Agrippa, Capa Fero, Thibault. I was SO impressed with William Goldman! When I told my date she said; Shhh! I’m watching!)

    The reason I laugh during the sword-fight is because Inigo says to Wesley “You’re amazing!”
    And the Man in Black replies: “Thank-you. I’ve worked very hard to become so.”

    He graciously accepted the compliment and explained why. Simple. straight forward and logical. He wasn’t arrogant and he didn’t exaggerate and claim to be naturally gifted. He owed his good work and he owned his effort and he owned the result.

    Even if he NEVER told Inigo…even if he just OWNED it in his heart….NOBODY would ever be able to lie to him about it, or dismiss it, or discount it, or diminish it. or make him believe otherwise.

    Of that truth he was sure.

    He did not have to “re-invent the wheel”…discover THAT truth anew everyday.

    He always had that truth like a new day dawning, and he could move on to others and be less vulnerable and have less to be rattled about.

    I think we all need to do that.

    And I am not talking about being arrogant.

    Lao-tse once said: “A skilful warrior strikes a decisive blow and stops. He does not continue his attack to assert his mastery. He will strike the blow, but be on his guard against being vain or arrogant over his success. He strikes it as a matter of necessity, but not from a wish of mastery.”

    There’s a difference.

    In University after getting over my anxieties about acting, I broke records for the number of stage plays I was involved in over the course of my scholastic career.

    Over 70.

    I was still the same, but some people started viewing me differently. The Fine Arts Center was a building of five floors, and on the main floor the center was open to the top floor with walkways and railings lining each visible floor and stairs at the north and south end.

    Voices echo and carry.

    One day coming down from the fifth floor I heard two girls talking all the way down at the main floor. “Look! here comes Darwin. You know if you say hello to him, he will say hello back!”

    My first thought was: “Why would anybody think I would not say hello?”

    So I made a point of saying hello first.

    That time of my life is when I was under the most scrutiny. Literally hundreds of people in numerous plays, assessing not only my appearance but presence and watching my every inflection, and intonation.

    I knew enough to see where my own skills were at and how far I still had to go. So I came to respond to compliments on my work the same as criticism to my work.

    Compliment: “Thank-you. I’m working hard to improve.”
    Criticism: “Thank-you. I am working hard to improve.”

    I my head, I was saying: “Thank-you. I’ve worked hard to get to this point. And I know I have more work to do. And I look forward to it!

  11. My life story, again… used ot have major FU attacks, especialyl at the height of my ED, and would even punch myself and slap my fface our of anger with myself… for being fat and ugy… I sometimes feel that way but try to ignore it and it may go away. When I was younger, I would literally feel sick if I put on anything nice, I thought I looked like an old fortune teller (I was maybe 14) and wanted to throw up…can’t explain that feeling… so I would jsut dress baggy and take less care of myself so I wouldn’t feel nauseated… which fed into the whole cycle again. Craziness. The less I cared, the uglier I felt (adn fatter) te elss I would take care of myself and actually gain weight, etc. so, I completely understand where you are coming from, no idea how to break free, but hang in there! (It is worth it to take those pictures, I sometimes regret hiding in pictures when I was a teenager, coz now I don’t have that many (and not many people believe me when I tell tehm how I looked then)) LOL

  12. I LOVE THIS and I will share this with girls I love (my own and my sisters). There was too much FU this week. We try not to use that “F” word, and prefer “fluffy”. Either way – too much. BTW – Couch photos are NEVER flattering -ever; and your husband was right. It’s not about you! How blessed you are to have your Gram!

  13. You are so right about it being a feeling rather than a reality. At exactly the same size, sometimes I feel fat and sometimes I feel awesome. For me it correlates with anger and frustration with other things. When I feel put down by someone or self-conscious for any reason, all of a sudden my thighs grow 5 inches each. When something has gone my way, all of a sudden I’m Gisselle. All in the mind.

  14. HAVE TO comment on that last cartoon.

    Imagine, if you will, a world where I have gotten over my wussiness about dating.

    I’ll wait.

    THEN imagine that I get over my wussiness SO MUCH that I get married again.

    I’ll wait.

    New Wife: Is there a zit on my butt?
    Darwin: Wait I’ll check.
    New Wife: Well?
    Darwin: Hang on…I’m simply being thorough.

    New Wife: Did I miss a spot while shaving my bikini line? And…do I have labia hanging out?
    Darwin: Hang on…I’ll check.
    New Wife: Well?
    Darwin: *pause* I’m sorry…What was the question again?

    New Wife: Do you think this swimsuit will become transparent when its wet?
    Darwin: Just to be safe, I vote we should go home and take it off right now.

    And if the New Wife has a penchant for changing clothes several times before going out and

    New Wife says, “Do you mind if I change again?”
    Darwin: Nope. Can I help?

    Then she will either laugh and decide there is no time, or we both have fun being late.

    In a situation like Charlotte had this past weekend… a Fat and Ugly Attack…a significant other can a) run and hide b) deal with it when it comes c) or look upon it as an opportunity

    As an actor…I tend to know the “tells” of the people I am close to. And I would be able to tell by circumstance, intonation, countenance because of experience that “Now arriving at the Main Gate, a Full Fledged Fat and Ugly Attack. Disembarking is about to commence.”

    So before New Wife would say a word, I would whisper in her ear…”Let’s let the kids have some quality time with the Grandmas. You and I NEED to go to the garage and make out in the back of the van because YOU are getting me hot and bothered right now.”

    Then later, when she looked at the pictures she might note that the stripes on her sweater were out of alignment, twisted if you will…and giggle because she remembered why.

    Its all about creating a healing atmosphere.

    Really.

    The Fat and Ugly attack, as you said Charlotte…is all about feelings…NOT reality.

    So this method swaps out the Fat and Ugly feelings for much better feelings.

  15. Hugs, Charlotte. It’s really hard when we see something other people don’t. To me you look great in that photo in every sense of the word! But I know how it goes. I recently wanted to untag myself in a photo at a baby shower where I’d gotten up at 4am to catch a flight and then on top of that looked like I was the one who was having the baby. Just not good. But other people insisted I looked fine so it’s like, who do you listen to?

    I’ve also gained some weight recently. The workout pace I was setting for myself pre-wedding was not maintainable and also not fun in the long run. So when I scaled back my intensity I gained a few pounds (no idea how much) and then when I went off birth control pills I gained a few more. Nothing major but I know the difference and my clothes fit differently. (Especially my bras! Why is it that that is the second place, after the first other fun one- my hips, my weight fluctuates? It’s hard enough as it is to find a good bra!) I find that, for me, what works is acknowledging the feeling. “Yes, I feel fat right now.” And then I move on. I go and do whatever I was planning to do, wear whatever I had on, eat or do whatever workout I was already planning. It can be really uncomfortable for the first few minutes but soon enough I get distracted and completely forget how I was feeling. And then it doesn’t matter anymore. That’s probably the best lesson I got out of ED therapy. It’s okay to feel that way but it’s not okay to let it impact your life. So I’m still tagged in that baby shower picture! I feel FU when I see it but after a couple minutes it doesn’t matter anymore.

  16. Great post! I have been guilty of feeling that way more often than I’ve looked at a photo and thought I looked great. Even now, after knowing that I’m getting results, I look at photos and see how far I’ve got to go, not how far I’ve come. I loved your post. It was a great reminder about body image & confidence.

    One of the things I’m most proud of is that somehow I managed to raise two daughters with good body images, despite my own inner demons. They remind me when I falter that I don’t get to talk that way about my body, because they think I’m beautiful.

  17. As happens extremely often with this blog – you post just the right thing when I need it. Had a FU attack on Saturday. Had a couple of parties to go to and hate everything in my wardrobe right now. Finally found one top to wear but then started thinking did I wear this last year to this party (which even if I did who would remember) and also well I need to save this other outfit I feel good in for the baby shower the next day. Only one pair of my jeans fit right now and I’m struggling to get my eating back in control (to much bread/cheese and sugar – the french themed baby shower didn’t help – croissants/cheese/petit fours…) And it is all culminating in me feeling like crap in everything I own. And I was heading to my crossfit box’s anniversary party with way too many fit beautiful people that didn’t help my anxiety. Finally picked an outfit that was comfy more than fancy/stylish and felt alright. And shortly after I get there a friend complimented me on my eye makeup and that she can never figure that out. Totally helped me snap out of it which I am so grateful for and I ended up having a fun night. (granted there were no cameras in sight which probably helped!)

    Regarding the fat pics – it is so tough. I read a blog post or an article once where a woman hated having pics taken and then realized that she is not in any pictures with her kids as they were young – and when her kids got older and wanted to remember her they wouldn’t see her as fat or ugly or whatever she saw – they would see her with love and have the image to hold on to. Similar to this one: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html While I don’t have kids – I tend to always be the one taking pictures and am really trying to make an effort to be in the pics more. because those are the ones you want to hang on to and be able to show that you were there once in that moment. (such as a 4 generation visit)

  18. FU attacks are probably the thing that perplex my husband the most about me. I will degrade from the perfectly intelligent, reasonable, rational adult woman he married to an inconsolable, hysterical, irrational, crazed child at times over my looks and body. I will declare that I am not going wherever it is we are supposed to be going, I will sit on my closet floor and throw a pity party for myself and how fat I am and hideous I am. I will panic and degrade myself and be an overall mess. My poor husband will not understand how someone who has been the same size for the entirety of her adulthood can think she has become a fat slob overnight. And I can’t explain it to him.

    His patience with it while refusing to participate has helped me see how ridiculous it is. I try to stop the meltdowns before they happen now. My jeans feel too snug? I put on another pair or I suck it up and wear them anyway and make note to pay attention to what it is I’ve been eating. I try to keep in mind that even if I did gain a couple of pounds, there is literally nothing I can do to change that right this second. I just try to use it as data now to adjust eating as necessary (I know that can be sensitive, but usually when this happens I can identify that I have been eating more sweets, or just eating more, than usual).

  19. Sure do. More lately. Beinginn the middle of chemo I can’t do what I used to and over my 4 months of treatment I have pretty much lost most of my strength and altho I have only gained a few pounds my body looks different. It frustrates me sometimes. It’s enough being bald and trying to look normal when I go out without having a FU moment on sone low days as I get dressed too.
    Just have to remind myself that it is only a few more months until I am back to more of a normal life and just focus on being healthy. It’s the big picture here 🙂

  20. Ugh, having one of those today, whereas I felt super svelte the last few days. Due to some…less than stellar… eating choices yesterday, I feel like I’ve gained 5 lbs right on my midsection. The good news is I know it will pass!

    A weird strategy? Take a LOT of pictures. Some are bound to be flattering, and you can more easily write the unflattering ones off as just a bad angle/day/camera/etc. 🙂

  21. Thank you, I needed this tonight. I just had a great personal/professional evening and what do I do? Come home and freak out about how I look in the pictures! Ugg! My brain needs to be reprogrammed.

  22. I occasionally have futtacks or fugly attacks, luckily not very often. A few weeks ago I decided I’m going to stop the avoidance behavior – I mean avoiding pictures taken of me and stuff like that. I intend to wear sleeveless clothes next summer and if I get any remarks, I will wave my flabby underarms to the world.

    I think I will be very disappointed if I don’t get any remarks. 🙂

  23. Had one of these last week while we were on vacation in Yosemite (way to ruin a family vaycay!). We were lucky enough to get a discount at a hotel with an indoor pool. Our kids LOVE to swim, so we spent an hour splashing around before heading into the park. Later, Hubby sent me the pictures he’d taken that day. All wonderful, except, naturally, for the one of me getting put of the pool. To me, I look like a large, pimply, flabby, hairy dude. (Seriously, ever since turning 40 I resemble nothing so much as a pale, pasty Sasquatch!) I resolved that night to resume my Zumba habit. Of course, I gave my Zumba DVDs to my sister-in-law, and there aren’t that many classes nearby with a convenient schedule.
    Then I remembered that I exercise for fun and health and to be around as long as possible for my kids who will need me well into adulthood, and not for weight loss. And that I’ve been working on improving my diet, that I feel better than I have in a while, and that I’ve lost 20 pounds recently. Yes, it’s slow going, and I have another 20 to go, but it’s all going in the right direction.
    (BTW, S-I-L is sending the Zumba DVDs back to me. She’s not using them, and I’d forgotten how much fun it is! In the meantime, I’ve been working out with Zuzana. Holy moley, that woman is strong!)

  24. Used to have these on a very regular basis, so I went to therapy. Changed my life! For me personally, these FU moments are just symptoms that something much deeper is going on, and now that I’m aware of it, I’m much more capable of focusing on the real problem. I spent so much time crying hysterically in my closet That now I know when I’m starting to feel one of those moments coming on that I need to slow down, reflect, breathe. Throw on some yoga pants and a tunic, eat the food that makes me feel good, and most likely I’ll feel like a million bucks again soon!!

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  26. “More of a “Nooo!” Three “o”s = very restrained”

    Had to giggle at this because those of in Minnesota fully understand that the number of O’s in a word really do make a difference on the meaning 🙂

    You’re so very fortunate to have four generations in one picture. A lot aren’t that lucky.