“Eating a persimmon and thinking of you!” I happily texted one of my oldest friends. “Unnnhhhhh sucks to be you,” was her immediate response. “Wha..? I love thinking of you!” “Not that. Sucks you’re eating a persimmon. Those things are slimy nasty slime.” “Confused. I thought you told me you love persimmons.” “FALSE. I …
Pay no attention to the fact I’m posting this at 12:30 a.m. … Heartbreak is a toddler denied her treat. Hilarity is watching her try to get her contraband treat by gnawing through a cardboard box only to discover it filled with grassy powder. Wait, what, I’m not allowed to laugh? Eight hours of labor …
Read more “Insomniac? 8 Herbs to Help You Snooze [Celestial Seasonings Giveaway!]”
My hair doesn’t do “casual dreadlocks” a la the kind Angelina Jolie sported in the movie Gone in 60 Seconds (also known as movie #284 where Nicholas Cage is supposed to be the romantic lead but instead comes off as a total creeper). I found that out the hard way in high school when I spent two …
“Excuse me but I think you are having a wardrobe malfunction.” Where’s Justin Timberlake to slap his hand over a nipple when you need him?! “Excuse me” can be a really loaded phrase in the gym. Sometimes it’s only someone trying to squeeze by you to get to the dumbbell rack but quite often it’s …
Read more ““Excuse Me, but…” 5 Tips for Dealing With Unsolicited Advice in the Gym”
Tonight I played the choking game. No, not the one we played in middle school where you and your friends cut off each other’s air supply because fainting is funny. (Note to any middle schoolers, or people who just act like middle schoolers: Fainting is neither fun nor funny and that game can kill you.) …
I love this so much. Mostly because this was me in high school. Ah, angst! “Someday,” Sophia smiled broadly at me as she climbed into my minivan, “I’m going to come over and clean your car!” It was a sweet offer from a sweet friend but there were two problems with it: 1. Sophia is …
