sexual assault

Resiliency: How do you cultivate it?

January 19, 2012

“In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate the crime and the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders.” And Batman. There’s always room for Batman. DUN-DUN! Blood spatters. Rape kits. Horrific crimes balanced out by the most humane cops I’ve ever not met. (I’ve actually had dreams where I’m talking to Olivia Benson/Mariska Hargitay.) Plots twisted so far beyond reality that “ripped from the headlines” is more a threat than a promise. There’s a lot to recommend Law & Order: SVU, really. And yet: “Why are you watching [...]

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Have You Ever Slapped Anybody? [Hitting Men: Art or Abuse?]

July 20, 2011

Hitting a woman is not cool and hasn’t been socially acceptable in quite a few decades (see: Chris Brown/Rihanna scandal) but ever since Scarlett slapped Rhett Butler, girls slapping men has been made out to be not only okay but even ladylike, appropriate and, yes, cool. (Okay, let’s be honest: Scarlett slapped just about everybody in that movie from Ashley to Rhett a couple of times and even poor Prissy “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies, Miss Scarlett!!!”) Why is it acceptable for a woman to hit a man when the reverse is widely considered abhorrent? The Slap as [...]

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Jiu-Jitsiu: My Most Embarrassing Experiment Ever

April 12, 2011

Context is everything. What is perfectly acceptable in one venue can be humiliating in another. Kanye learned that when he “Imma let you finish”-ed Taylor Swift at the music awards. Dorothy learned that when she melted one witch and was saved by another. My 5-year-old learned that when he dropped trou in the middle of a playland and peed on a plastic tree (true story – my husband and I just walked away shaking our heads with everyone else and muttering “Where is his mother?!” Parents of the year, that’s us.) And the Gym Buddies and I learned that today [...]

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What The Mind Forgets, The Body Remembers

February 24, 2011

This is also a very important anniversary that Hallmark does not have a card for. September 11, 2001. Every year I can feel the vibrations of this anniversary for weeks before it approaches. When it finally arrives, it is almost a relief to cry a little and move on. No I didn’t lose a loved one in the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers but in a weird twist of fate I did lose a loved one that day. Or at least I was supposed to. That was the day I was scheduled to give birth to my daughter Faith [...]

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Finding Safety in an Unsafe World [The Four Steps of Self-Defense You Need to Know.]

January 10, 2011

This picture is simply too awesome to caption. I spent my Saturday night getting my aggression on: gouging people in the eyes, yelling “I’ll rip your larynx out!” and watching my best girlfriends get cornered by a bunch of threatening men. Makes your screening of Tron, The Legacy seems pretty lame now, huh? No, we weren’t road-testing The Great Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) Experiment. (Although now that I type that I have a hankering to try cage fighting. Hmm.) Gym Buddies, Megan, Allison, Michelle, Jeni, Meghan, Becca and I were getting tutored in the art of pain by Megan’s husband, [...]

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Sacrifice: On Being the Throw-Away Girl

November 29, 2010

photo credit “Wow,” my psychiatrist looked up from her notes where she’d just written in my case history that I’d been sexually assaulted, pressed charges and sent him to prison, “you must feel so proud! And vindicated! And powerful!” I’d gone to see her to talk about medicine for my post-partum depression, not a court case six years cold and yet in the process of taking my case history of psychiatric medication she stepped on that land mine. Immediately I felt that familiar cold, dead feeling well up inside me, squeezing my heart. No, no and double heck to the [...]

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Being Good Enough: How to Separate Who You Are From What You Do

October 29, 2010

The caption says “Not good enough for Beijing.” Well there go my dreams of ever being a champion head lifter. I’m nervous. Not nervous in a betrayed-by-my-bowels kind of way. Yet. (Which speaking of being betrayed by one’s nethers, ESPN had the most fascinating article on explosive pooping while racing. Seriously, you must read it. It was in their Body Issue which I want to hate because it feels like using naked chicks to sell more copies a la the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is so tired and yet I love it. Think less bikinis on the beach and more [...]

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Blogging About Sexual Assault

April 8, 2010

April is sexual assault awareness month. Approximately 1 in 4 women will be assaulted in their lifetime. Look around you at the 4 closest women and then… start talking. I used you. I’ll admit it. I started this blog as a way to talk about all the health and fitness research that I geek out over so much in real life, thereby giving my long-suffering friends and family a break. But as I got writing, I discovered that for me blogging is so much more than just words. It’s free therapy! And in my mind, one can never have too [...]

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Girls Gone Violent

September 18, 2009

Check out this snippet I uncovered in which a popular celebrity talks about arguing with their significant other: “I say, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you. I’m going to stab you with something, please leave.’ I’d never own a gun for that reason,” says [name redacted]. “I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot them in the leg, for sure.” Who could it be? What if I told you it was a recorded phone conversation between Chris Brown and a buddy discussing the incident with Rihanna? Well, it isn’t. And [...]

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My Before and After Story (HUGE Giveaway!)

August 24, 2009

Mr. Miyagi would be so proud of me. I just caught a mosquito – the Minnesota state bird, woot, woot! – mid flight with only my thumb and forefinger (fingers: like chopsticks but for monkeys). This feat of athletic prowess got me thinking about how far I’ve come. People who read this site and/or only know me from 2004 onward think I’ve always been this crazyobsessed with health and fitness but the truth is I do have a “before.” While I’ve never been above my BMI range for “normal” (BMI measurement: like a real health assessment but for monkeys), I [...]

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