pregnancy

Getting Your Body Back After Pregnancy: What not to do

December 20, 2011

See – she’s fine now! Check out that core strength!! Compare Jelly Bean’s fab plank to this woman’s – this has got to be the worst “fitness” photo I’ve ever seen! (And no comment about the two binkies. We’re working on it!) I love her one boot/one plaid sandal combo. She cracks me up every single day. “Huh, we never really figured out what happened with that blip,” the doctor said lightly as she traced her finger over Jelly Bean’s growth chart at her recent 2-year checkup. She didn’t even notice my uncomfortable fidgeting as she continued, “Ah well, no [...]

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Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much? [Mental Illness]

May 29, 2011

image credit Buying a pregnancy test is always a fraught experience. You’re either praying to Fisher-Price that it says yes or pleading to Durex it says no. I don’t know any woman that says, “Eh, I’m not feeling a movie tonight. Let’s go get a pregnancy test – just for funzies!” Remember that Walgreens cashiers the next time you see a wild-haired, wild-eyed, pajama-clad lady with a clown car full of screaming children clutching a pee-on-a-stick. I know it’s your job but asking if I’d like to take advantage of the BOGO (buy one, get one half off) offer this week [...]

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Have Your Feelings About Your Weight Ever Held You Back from Doing What you Love?

March 14, 2011

Gwen Stefani with 4-month-old Zuma Nesta Rock (I cannot hear that name and not immediately think Zima. I’m sure she did not mean it but her baby will forever be linked to a much-mocked adult beverage.) If this is “gross, big and uncool” sign me up! Gwen Stefani is hot. I think everyone, regardless of gender or orientation, can agree on this one. I have long loved the blond bindi-sporting No Doubt singer – their Tragic Kingdom album is still in my top ten list of albums that most affected me – so I was a little torn when I [...]

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Searching For The Cure For PMS [10 ideas to try, 1 to skip]

January 24, 2011

Unsolicited uterus update! My problem is I have a wicked case of PMS. (No, I’m not pregnant but I scared you didn’t I?) Aren’t you glad you didn’t ask? Despite having my monthly, well, monthly since I was 16 – late bloomers holla! – I’m still surprised by its appearance every 30ish days. First my appetite ramps up; I’m still not weighing myself (!!!) but back when I was it was not uncommon for me to gain 3-5 pounds during the week before and during my period. Next I get overly emotional about stupid things like Teen Mom. Finally I [...]

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What I Mean When I Say I Have 5 Children [Talking about the loss of a baby]

December 22, 2010

Willow Tree “Guardian“ “Noun: The evacuation of a dead child or organism.” Stillbirth. No warning at all, there it was right between “veterinarian: a person who practices medicine or surgery on animals” and “blunderbuss: a short musket of wide bore used for shooting at close range” as if dead babies are as pedestrian as ailing animals or Civil War era artillery. Automatically I typed s-t-i-l-l-b-i-r-t-h into the (super addicting) vocabulary game Knoword*. But I couldn’t go any further what for the tears crowding my eyes. That’s the way my grief works these days: when talking about my deceased daughter Faith, [...]

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3 Things Nobody Tells You About Having a Baby

December 7, 2010

Two words: Baboon Butt And now I don’t know whether to squeeee because that baboon baby is adorable or be totally grossed out. To find out what this cute/barf pic has to do with pregnancy and read the 3 things I wish someone had told me about having a baby, check out my guest post (with GFE book giveaway!) over at Heather Eats Almond Butter today. I’m also over at iVillage today with a look at why eating disorders are on the rise among children. If that gets you down, check out my post about how my hairy chin mole [...]

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How To Be Good At Multitasking [HUGE Giveaway!!]

November 17, 2010

This is a compensated review by BlogHer and Intel. I only wish I were as cool as this guy. There are many things they do not tell you when you first have a child, like the fact that your post-partum butt will look exactly like those baboon butts at the zoo – minus the flies, hopefully – for weeks afterward. Or that there is a 100% certainty you will pee your pants while pregnant or immediately afterward. But the side effect of children I most wish had come on their warning labels? That you lose IQ points with every one. [...]

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October’s Great Racing Experiment

October 5, 2010

Best running costume evah!! (Although it looks like a nightmare to run in) I’m often asked if I get bored of doing Experiments, if I ever tire of looking for new ones or if blogging them ever gets tedious. My answer: Nope, not ever and I looooovvveee it! Truth to be told, I’d be doing my schizophrenic fitness thing whether or not anyone else wanted to read about it (although I’m sure glad that you do – it’s so much more fun with company!). So hopefully you will forgive me for already starting October’s Great Fitness Experiment without telling you [...]

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Can Exercise Hurt Your Breast Milk? [A Study in Mother Guilt]

September 6, 2010

A mother’s love – they say that nothing is more powerful. (At least if you believe Harry Potter, which of course I do. I’m a sucker for green eyes.) So if this is true then I know the second most powerful force on the planet: A mother’s guilt. Whether they hand it to you as you exit the hospital, a neat little package of the shame you carry for sending your precious infant to the nursery to spend his first night on the planet alone amongst the bright lights and loud noises or whether you don’t discover the little box [...]

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Pregnancy: Attack of the Body Snatchers, Jillian Michaels Edition

April 26, 2010

Tiger Lady. That’s what my oldest son christened me as soon as he could talk, thanks to my knees-to-navel stretch marks. (Note: that proud day was also the day I decided he was too old to shower with mommy anymore.) So I will be the last person to tell you that you can have a baby and bounce back to exactly the same shape you were in before having a human erupt from your loins. Even if you do get down to your pre-pregnancy weight – a touchy enough subject – most likely things will settle into new positions. (We [...]

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