humor

Head Butts and Yoga Butts: What works in the gym, doesn’t always work out of the gym

May 16, 2012

This, my friends, is the Rear Naked Choke in action. (I think, feel free to correct me if it isn’t.) Clearly Golem in front is not amused but the guy in back is totally laughing. See? Funny. The Rear Naked Choke Hold came back to haunt me tonight. There I was, sitting in on a jujitsu demonstration as part of my attempt to try out every program Lifetime Fitness offers before my month in fit heaven expires, when I was yet again the only person in the entire room snickering like a 12-year-old boy*. For the record, it’s called “naked” [...]

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You Know You’re a Fitness Nerd If… [My top 20 list!]

May 14, 2012

…if “dressing up” means wearing your silver Nikes. Anyone who’s ever done weighted hip thrusts while having a serious conversation or watched two guys arm wrestle over the last jar of Pure Protein knows: Fitness is funny. The things we say, the things we do, and heaven help us, the things we WEAR. Every once in a while I take a step back and look at what I’m actually doing and it makes me giggle. So this weekend while I was laying on the floor doing my mandatory sets of butt clenches (excuse me, glute contractions) in the middle of the [...]

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How My Neti Pot Betrayed Me (What to do For Recurring Sinus Infections?)

February 16, 2012

My favorite reader questions are the ones that you think would have a simple answer and yet instead of just saying “yes” or “no” I take the opportunity to turn it into a story all about me and only tangentially address their question. Today’s question in part 4 of my Help a Reader Out (by giving them better advice that I do) series is from Angie who writes, “Hey, have you ever tried a Neti pot? My doctor told me to try it for my recurring sinus infections but I’m weirded out by the whole idea of pouring water up [...]

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The #1 Downside to Weight Lifting, Badly Illustrated (All I want for Christmas is laser hair removal)

December 7, 2011

This will be my next option. As I get older I’ll just call it Bride of Frankenstein. Weight lifting builds bone density. Weight lifting increases strength and power. Weight lifting burns fat all day long. Weight lifting makes you look tougher than Chuck Norris at Comic Con. Oh sure, everyone always talks about the benefits of strength training but there is a dark side no one ever talks about. No, literally, a dark side. Namely, in my pits. Because I have very dark hair and very light skin, see. For those of you not similarly cursed (it’s not a bug, it’s [...]

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Do You Like to Multitask or Focus During Your Workout? [The housework workout]

November 10, 2011

Almost all the pics for this shoot were done in my house! So if you’ve ever wanted to see my bathroom when it’s clean this may be your only chance. Dusting, laundry, sitting on the toilet – it’s all stuff you have to do anyhow so why not work in a little incidental exercise as you go? That was my thought anyhow when I made the Housework Workout slideshow for Shape.com. Unfortunately that was pretty much my only thought going into it and once it went live lots of women had plenty of other thoughts on this subject and I [...]

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The Workout That Kicked Our Butts, Literally [Badly Illustrated]

November 9, 2011

I like strong butts and I cannot lie! You other squatters can’t deny! That when a girl lunges deep with a really heavy weight and a round thing in your face you get… jealous of her mad pistol squat skillz which are apparently much stronger than her rhyming ability. (Can’t have it all!) These past few days in the gym have been all about our butts: specifically how much we can make them hurt. It started out with this highly awkward gym moment. There I was doing my pistol squats when I hear a voice behind me… What do you [...]

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Running Naked and My First-Ever Censored Post! (Giveaway!)

October 27, 2011

Fall is perfect outdoor weather and my favorite season to run in. There’s nothing like the crisp air, the colorful leaves and the sunshine to really make you move! But just like every other season it can take some wardrobe adjustments as you move from as-little-as-decency-allows to layer city. Do you like really unique and funky patterns? Do you like quality? But most importantly, do you like to have well-ventilated nethers? Then you have to try these YMX by Yellowman pants: I’ll admit I’ve always loved Yellowman for their designs. I used to drool over them in the Athleta catalog [...]

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The Grossest Thing That Has Ever Happened to Me at the Gym [Badly Illustrated]

October 18, 2011

No Gym Buddies, no classes, no Experiments (we do NROLFW on M, W, F) – this morning at the gym I was left to my own devices. This happens to me so rarely that when it does I get a little giddy. What would I do if I could workout any way I wanted to? First I did Tabatas, which I hate but do because they’re so darn good for me (lie: it was because I thought Gym Buddy Allison might yet show up and I didn’t want to look like I was slacking). Then I ran a few miles [...]

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Should You Workout With Those You Work With? 5 Tips for Exercising With Coworkers

October 17, 2011

This would be an example of what not to wear. Naked is not good but Hannibal Lecter couture is way worse. Judging from advice columnists and The Apprentice, working with your coworkers is tricky enough (Who knew clipping your toenails in your cube is the modern-day equivalent of lancing your Black Plague boils over the community well?) but add a little skin, sweat and spandex to the formula and working out with them is a whole new social minefield. I’ll be honest, the last time I worked out with an official coworker (i.e. someone who is over 4 feet tall [...]

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The “Impossible Push-Up” – A Personal Challenge From Tony Horton [Plus: Lots & lots of gym shenanigans!]

October 10, 2011

As you may recall, I got to interview Tony Horton, founder of P90X and P90X 2 (due out in December). (How many times can I name-drop this before it just starts looking pathetic? I don’t care. I talked to Tony! And he said I could call him “Tony”! Or “Friend”! Whatever that means! Squeee!) Near the end of our interview he said, “Well you sound like you’re pretty strong.” Even though I’m well aware of the limitations of the telephone, I still gushed, “Thank yooouuuu!” To which he replied, “Do you want a real challenge?” He said the magic word! He [...]

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