Dear Kirstie Alley: Why Fat Shaming Doesn’t Work, Even on Yourself [“I’m fat but at least I’m not circus fat”]

Dear Kirstie Alley, I got your press release about how you’re going back to your first diet love, Jenny Craig. (I really appreciated the personal touch of including the pictures of all your diet products. Apparently JC will now be carrying your line of diet drinks in their stores so, um, way to play it …

Where Do You Draw The Line Between Having Drive and Being Driven? [Jillian Michaels’ Fiasco Answers All the Wrong Questions]

 Nature’s Metabolic Booster Supplement: Dark chocolate covered jalapenos! Your insides will be positively volcanic! (And also possibly parts of your outside, like your anus.) So, did you hear there was A Thing on The Biggest Loser last week? No, not “the Thing” (although there’s a show I would watch!) but A Thing That Happened. In fact, …

How Do You Know When You’re Hungry For Reals? [Where Carrie Underwood and I Part Ways…]

I used to love this game SO HARD as a kid. Raise your hand if you’re an 80’s kid! “Mom! I need food now! My little legs are so weak!!” My 7-year-old son eats like his dad (and is dramatic like his mom) so I wasn’t surprised when he came barging in the door after …

Jillian Michaels Calls Size Acceptance “Bullsh*t”: Brutal honesty or just brutal?

 Poor T-Rex! I’m so worried about him! Those shorty arms can’t be healthy! I’m basically the most insecure person I know. That may be partly because I don’t live in other people’s heads and spend too much time in my own. Or it may be because I watched too much “Daria” when I was younger. …

“Eating Disorders Make You Skinny” and Other Popular ED Myths, Debunked

Anyone else seriously freaked out these t-shirts come in children’s sizes?? At least the girl on the left has enough sense to show her disapproval.  Amanda Bynes tweeted something interesting. I know, I never thought I’d write those words either. And yet, in the midst of a whole bunch of crazy in which she literally …

“I Like A Girl Who Eats” [When is a hamburger not a hamburger? When I’m arguing with it.]

“Oh it’s not about the hamburger, buddy! Don’t you “just hamburger” me! That is just a hamburger like Elmo is just a furry toy with a stick up its butt! These things, they mean… other things! (And lead to lawsuits, in the case of Elmo.)” My breathing got faster as my hands tightened into fists. …

What to do With an “It’s Not Fair!” Attack, [As demonstrated by Kim Kardashian]

For those of you living under a rock, the world is breathlessly awaiting the arrival of not one, but two royal babies! Nope, Kate Middleton is not having twins (says the reporter inside her uterus). Rather, in addition to the actual royal couple, we have self-proclaimed royalty “Watch the Throne” Kanye West (whose new album …

Attack of the Killer Shoes: Women everywhere are being maimed by their footwear [Is the solution found in the kiddie aisle?]

Sarah Jessica Parker is the next step in evolution. Girlfriend recently confessed in an interview that her secret power is creating new bones. Like, inside herself and not in the form of a baby, dermoid cyst or alien experimentation! How’d did she get this magical talent? By murdering her feet with high heels. Naturally. Anyone …

Harley Pasternak Introduces New Cleanse, Calls New Christina Aguilera “Uncomfortable” and Highlights Absurdity of Hollywood in General [Is there a right way to cleanse?]

Top Hollywood trainer plays the Hot or Not? game with top Hollywood starlets: It’s the type of juicy tabloid fodder that we all hope we’re too mature to care about and yet somehow finds its way into our brains. (Clearly I read it since I’m blogging it, ha!) Harley Pasternak, founder of the famous Five …

What a Woman is Supposed to Look Like [Take notes, ladies! There will be a test… called “the rest of your life”]

Hey girlfriends! Remember the good ol’ days when men were men and women were… prepubescent children? Like the time the fashion world crowned Elle Fanning the new “It Girl” at just 12 years old? The Daily Beast wrote unironically, “Though she’s still missing five teeth, Elle has shot up to 5-foot-6, and dresses look good on …