I Don’t Know How I Feel About the #NoMakeupSelfie Trend [Cancer “awareness” scam or beautiful reality check?]

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Yep, I tried it! Snapped this selfie fresh out of the shower and still with my post-workout hair. No makeup, no filters. No cancer either… that I know of.

On the scale of Things That Irritate Me, “cancer awareness” is pretty close to the top. That phrase ranks right above people who lick their fingers at the dinner table and Karl Lagerfield’s cat Choupette and just below Miley Cyrus’ tongue film, for things that make me grind my teeth so hard the vein on my neck starts to throb. Did you know approximately 50% of all people will develop some type of cancer during their lifetime? So why, exactly, are we trying to “raise awareness” of something that is as common as being born male? Is there really anyone who looks at the word “cancer” and only thinks of astrology??

I’m not a cyborg – I understand the need to raise awareness of rare or lesser known types of cancers and other diseases in order to get funding for research and to help people recognize the symptoms. But these general “raising awareness” campaigns strike me more as “slacktivism” – you know, how you feel so good about posting your bra color on Facebook to raise awareness for breast cancer that you feel like you’ve done your part and don’t need to volunteer or donate money or anything else that might actually be useful for fighting breast cancer. In most cases I think it’s silliness under the guise of activism but at its worst I think it diverts resources from the very thing it’s purporting to help.

So when I first came across the #NoMakeupSelfie trend – the instructions say to post a selfie of yourself (wow that was redundant!) with no makeup and no filters to “raise awareness for cancer” and then coerce all your friends to do the same – you will understand why my initial reaction was a giant:

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Sorry owl lovers, David Bowie does a way better O RLY. He would also never do a #NoMakeupSelfie. You know I’m right. 

I was especially irritated by the comments I was seeing on pictures calling the selfie-poster “brave”, “inspiring” and “courageous.” Really? How is gorgeous Gwyneth Paltrow posting a picture of herself being naturally gorgeous brave in any way? (Although I was sorry to hear that she split with husband Chris Martin.) Shouldn’t we be using those adjectives to laud actual cancer survivors? Yomi Adegoke posted a more eloquent response as to why calling women brave for going without makeup is problematic.

And cancer survivors themselves seemed to be less than impressed. Kristina Egan wrote on the Huffington Post

“In my eyes, the NMS was supposed to be a move of solidarity for the people going through cancer. Baring yourself, exposing yourself, making you feel vulnerable, to try to understand a mere taste of the fragility that someone with cancer experiences when they look in the mirror. The photos I saw did not show that. They were still mysteriously camera ready and lacked the level of realness that the cause demanded. I commented that I would have more respect if you took one, first thing in the morning, under fluorescent hospital lights, after a colonoscopy, as it was a little more relevant.”

I actually have a picture of myself in fluorescent lighting, right after a colonoscopy! And I look like refried death! True!

Anyhow. But then my jaded self read the backstory. Apparently #nomakeupselfie started when writer Laura Lippman tweeted a barefaced selfie to show solidarity with actress Kim Novak, who was ridiculed for her ultra-surgery-tweaked face at the Oscars. I’m not sure what that had to do with makeup (Lippman was wearing none while Novak was wearing an entire L’Oreal display) or cancer (Novak beat breast cancer in 2010?) but somehow Cancer Research UK jumped on the trend and added #cancerawareness tags and links to their site. And people actually went beyond posting pictures of themselves to donating money. Between on-line and text contributions, so far the trend has raised over  £8 million for the charity! (There were also some hilarious unintended donations that went to the Polar Bear Fund thanks to typos that changed “beat” to “bear” in texts. But hey, polar bears deserve love too, right?) So apparently some people at least are putting their money where their lipstick-free mouths are.

And then, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of a #nomakeupselfie in and of itself – no cancer strings attached. I’ll admit it: I love looking at those “stars without makeup” features in magazines. And it’s not out of some misguided ha-they’re-ugly-too schadenfreude. It is because I really like seeing how the sausage gets made. I mean there is a huge difference between Katy Perry with makeup and Katy Perry without:

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She is beautiful both ways but it’s definitely two different looks. 

I love seeing celebs all glammed up – judge me if you will but I think clothes and makeup and hair are fun and I love playing around with them and also seeing what others do. But I also think we could all use a regular dose of reality when it comes to what women really look like. Airbrushed “aspirational” photos can be artistic but if pore-less robots are all we see then we start to believe that’s what we’re supposed to look like – which is how the billion-dollar skin cream industry stays in business.

So with the makeup-free selfies, yes we learn that beautiful supermodels are beautiful with and without makeup but we also learn fun stuff like what normal eyelashes look like. (True story: I was helping my son with his homework a while ago and had to look up some paintings from the Renaissance. I was surprised to find that all the women in the paintings looked almost alien to me – and then I realized it was because you can’t see any of their eyelashes. I’ve grown so used to seeing women with mascara, falsies and/or eyelash extensions that seeing women without them, like Vermeer’s iconic Girl With a Pearl Earring, looked “wrong”! That’s messed up.)

Curious, I decided to snap some barefaced selfies. I mean, I already know what I look like without makeup – I don’t wear much of it on a day-to-day basis and I wake up with myself every day – but I do have it set in my head that I look “better” with some face paint and if nothing else I wear some eyeliner and mascara. It’s almost like my armor against the world. The more insecure or nervous I’m feeling, the more makeup I slap on. (You should see me at parent-teacher conferences! I’m basically a Kabuki doll.) That pic at the top of the post was the very first one I took and – I’ll be honest – my first thought was Heyyyyy, not too shabby! While my naturally black hair and pale skin combo has its downsides (oh the pit stubble!!) it does mean that I still have eyes even without makeup.

IMAG0140_2Here’s me today, no makeup, no filters, in natural light. Also, I’ve grown out my bangs.

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 And here’s me during our annual family picture, totally painted up. Look at all those eyelashes! (P.S. Isn’t my hubby adorable? He always rocks the no-makeup look.)

Obviously in this picture my eyes and lips are more defined and my skin is more glow-y and less freckle-y but overall there’s not a huge difference. Which actually made me feel pretty good about myself! And it wasn’t because I was comparing myself to someone else but rather just comparing me to me and realizing that I like what I see.

Of course both of those selfies were snapped in flattering light using my fave three-quarter head-tilt angle. (I listened when Tyra Banks told us girls to “find our angles”!) There are definitely worse ways to take my picture. Like this:

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This is my DO MY TEETH LOOK WHITER FROM MY OIL PULLING EXPERIMENT YET? DO THEY??? face. My mouth is only open halfway, by the way, because I just had two fillings done this morning and it took six hours for the novocaine to wear off. I also bit my cheek and didn’t realize it until I tasted blood. Cavities suck.

As I was writing this, Jelly Bean walked up next to me, saw this picture and said, “Mom are you being a llama again??” I don’t know what she means by “again” but I definitely do look like I could spit! Anyhow, definitely not as flattering. But maybe my teeth look whiter? A little bit??

So then Jelly Bean asked me to snap her pic:

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And then Son #3 wanted his too:

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 Which prompted a beautiful conversation about what I like about them, what they like about themselves and how we all look alike and different. In the end I think the #nomakeupselfie thing was good for us. I don’t know how I feel about it being used as a tool for cancer awareness but I think it’s a good thing for everyone to try. At the very least it will remind us what real human beings look like.

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 Because how could this not make you happy??

Also, because I love children and hate cancer (and because I don’t want to be a slacktivist!), tonight I made a donation to the National Childhood Cancer Foundation. (And because I’m leery of charity scams, I vetted them first through Charitywatch.org – they gave them an “A” rating!) And that made me feel the beautifull-est of all.

What do you think of the #nomakeupselfie trend – annoying gimmick, thinly veiled narcissism or beautiful reminder? What do you think of “raising awareness for cancer” campaigns? What’s your favorite feature on your face? (Also: Should I cut my bangs back???)

26 Comments

  1. This – “In most cases I think it’s silliness under the guise of activism but at its worst I think it diverts resources from the very thing it’s purporting to help.”

    I have said the same thing. Many times.

    I had this discussion with my ex, basically her position on many things was “doing something is better than doing nothing”, whilst I maintained that its not “either” “or” but rather find the something helpful and effective to do.

    Personally, I think they are running out of ideas on cancer awareness and are tossing anything out there to see if it sticks.

    Too often people equate “motion” with “progress” which can be a dangerous assumption when you are moving in the wrong direction and making things worse.

    You can rock both bangs and no bangs, depends on your current inclinations, or foreseeable inclinations for hair styling options.

    I have seen (and this is dating me) The Solid Gold Dancers without their makeup, as well as many actresses you may know.

    I went through all the levels of makeup classes in university. I can even do prosthetic makeup. I once played a blonde, slightly paunchy, Scotsman with mutton chops and a kilt, and my final makeup project was full costume Vincent from the 80’s Beauty and the Beast TV Show. Lion-like face and all.

    An admission that also dates me, but I did make a girl or two (fake) swoon.

    So Charlotte, when I have seen your pictures previously I know how little makeup you use normally, and I also note when you are insecure, because you use more.

    Your freckles look great. If you want to use beauty as armor, those are built in.

  2. I actually think you look amazing barefaced. You are my exact age and I’d look like hell in that setup! You’ve obviously been good about your sunscreen, and I actually was thinking you must use Latisse 🙂 Why do parent teacher conference make you insecure? Your children are a reflection of yourself?

    Regarding cancer awareness – I responded to a weird status update today and got smacked with a “now you have to pick one of these weird/embarrassing updates for cancer awareness.” I was annoyed – the feeling of being tricked, and it seemed a cheap answer to the issue of cancer. I mostly think the same of the no makeup selfie. I think there’s a great value in us doing it, because we have forgotten what real women look like. And I think it has nothing to do with cancer – make a donation, write your congressperson regarding research funding or knit caps for people going through chemo if you want to make a difference.

  3. You’re a natural beauty! And you and your kids have beautiful eyelashes! (so jealous – mine are so short and stubby!)

  4. Cancer awareness, right. And I suppose all those duck-face selfies are for canker sore awareness? I guess I must be incredibly brave, since I never wear make-up, and I leave the house without a bag on my head.

    OK folks, get ready for all the bend-over shots in the name of hemorrhoid awareness.

    • Comment WIN!

      I don’t wear makeup either and I never knew how “brave” I was. I thought I was just too cheap to spend money on makeup and too spastic to learn how to apply it nicely without jabbing out an eye.

  5. Thinly veiled narcissism, by many Evidenced by many of the comments of ‘aw, beautiful’ in response. I’m sure any of them were just selfies with no donation, so really, what was the point? Who isn’t already ‘aware’ of cancer? That said, it’s well intentioned and selfies are a fact of life in social media. Just don’t pretend that you’re somehow noble for posting it.

    I just prefer to donate to the charities I want to when I want to, not because facebook tells me to and because I’m not a sheep. Besides, everybody sees me every day with no or very little make up [because I’m quite lazy] -and this is more or less what I said on facebook when I refused my nomination to do it.

  6. “The more insecure or nervous I’m feeling, the more makeup I slap on” immediately made me think of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum character piling on the mascara.

    I had the same reaction – what do makeup-less selfies have to do with cancer? I think it’s great that all those donations have been made to cancer research (and polar bears – animal causes also need support).

    I also think we shouldn’t have to feel brave about skipping the makeup…But I’m also a red head who rarely leaves the house without mascara. So I sort of get it while simultaneously thinking that it should not be such a big deal.

  7. You, my dear, are as beautiful without make-up as you are with!
    For me – Well, just about every picture taken of me is a no make-up picture. As a teenager of the early-mid 70’s I was part of the whole natural look, earth mother movement. I tried several types of foundations about 10 years ago, but it didn’t last long. I have never used mascara, and only once in a great while I will use liner on my bottom lid and a little blush. My grandmother was always trying to get me to at least use lipstick, but that’s also few and far between. I like my skin – freckles and all. And fortunately for me, like you, I have dark lashes so happily, even blissfully, never bothered with the mascara.

  8. You look amazing sans makeup!
    I think the whole concept of a no makeup selfie being brave just demonstrates how warped our idea of what women are meant to be is. A women without makeup?! How shocking! And the implication that we should somehow feel uncomfortable with ourselves without makeup. Having lost my sister to cancer, I am all for cancer awareness but I would prefer people to make a donation, volunteer their time or even make a commitment to lowering their cancer risk by giving up smoking or eating more fiber.

  9. why the heck were you taking photos straight after your colonoscopy??? I can tell you that was the furthest thing from my mind after having mine…….my first thought was more along the lines of “must. have. food. now!”

  10. You’re gorgeous! As are your kids and your hubby! 🙂
    I rarely wear makeup. But I’m lazy. Once in a while, if I’m particularly tired of looking like an extra from “The Walking Dead,” I’ll slap on some eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick, but that’s about the extent of it.
    I, too, would rather people do something or donate money.

  11. I actually liked the no makeup selfie until it was linked to breast cancer awareness. Then I got confused…and also a bit relieved that noone had asked me yet (right now my chemo self is not looking too pretty. Want an awareness of breast cancer and what it does? Come on by for tea)…then I kinda moped a bit. Then I got to wondering how it was actually helping breast cancer….but in the end if it is inspiring people to donate and do self exams and feel better about themselves, in the end, snap away. 🙂

  12. While I would have to be brave to post a pic of myself without make up (ugggh I have such horrible skin) it does not match the bravery it would take to face cancer. I think it’s a dumb campaign, but I’m sure whoever does it is well meaning. At least, I would hope they are well meaning!

  13. I think it’s interesting to see all the bare faces out there (better than knowing what color their bra is right?). But I love this even more:

    http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-26723457

    Both good causes right? 🙂

  14. I think my favorite pic was the llama one. Hilarious!

    I don’t often wear makeup (lipstick – almost everyday – everything else… meh) but when I do I feel SO DIFFERENT (so I get the battle armor thing)… then when I see pics of myself, like you, I look almost the same. Wah wah. Kind of a waste of time, so even for fancy occasions I keep it to 5-10 minutes to primp. I might have taken 15 for my wedding (though my hair took FOREVERS).

    • I always feel the same way. I ‘pile’ on the slap for, say, a special occasion and see pictures of myself later and I look no different. What was the point? I took half an hour more to look like the same person who ghoulishly greets me in the mirror each morning. So I, too, keep it to about 5-10 minutes if I wear it at all.

  15. Some more food for thought on what the #nomakeupselfie says about our society: silverdragonfly.svbtle.com/why-your-selfie-is-a-mirror-into-a-society-that-discriminates-against-women

  16. You just touched onto a concern of mine that just came up. The company I work for was encouraging us to donate to a charity that our CFO is a director of. I checked them out and they had very low administrative costs and the vast majority of the money they received went to projects. The charity seemed too small to me to be doing all the projects they advertised. With some further digging I found out they are really about 10 people that are paid 6 figures to raise money which they hand over to a parent charity in another country. That parent charity does not look good when you do the research. In my opinion this charity is just whitewashing for the parent.

  17. Your kids are beautiful! And they have such expressive eyes.

  18. So interesting to me – knowing that you like the falsies – to see how LONG your natural eyelashes are (and how Jelly Bean has them too!). Also funny how (I expect because I have a fairly rosy complexion and lighter hair), I’ve always LOVED the dark-hair-contrasted-with-fair-skin look. Grass is always greener?

    Definitely feel that the #nomakeupselfie trend is a combo of all three of those 😉

    And I’m all about comparing yourself to yourself (or myself to myself. You know what I mean). It’s a good check-in point!

  19. Beautiful people in this post today. Always beautiful Soul, inside & out

  20. To me Katy Perry looks warmer and more approachable without make-up than with. With make-up she looks kind of generic and sterile.

  21. The #nomakeupselfie made me donate $20 to Breast Cancer NZ so I see it as a positive trend. Taking and posting a no makeup selfie but not donating? That makes no sense to me.

  22. What I find amazing about Katy Perry is that she looks like a different person with and without makeup. Without, she looks like someone that I could run into on the street. With, she looks like “Katy Perry”.

    I feel like you look the same both with and without makeup. 🙂 Super gorgeous. And oh my, Jelly Bean’s eyes are such a beautiful color!!

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