Humiliated By My High Heels: Is It Time To Ditch My Stilettos? [Plus: How to prevent bunions]

emmaheels

Emma Thompson at the Golden Globes proves I’m not the only chica to start out in some fierce heels only to regret them when it’s too late to change! She even said they were “stained with her blood”! Emma will you be my bestie?

Pride goeth before the fall – and never is that more true than when it comes to wearing high heels. For years I’ve prided myself on my ability to walk well in heels. I’d giggle when the new girls on America’s Next Top Model would admit they’d never worn heels and then would totter around like Bambi on ice. (Did I just admit to watching that show? Yes, yes I did. I love Bambi.) Also, I have this weird complex where I think I’m taller than I really am so add that to my love of pretty sparkly things and you’ll see how I have ended up with a very large collection of very high heels.

I divide my heels into two basic types: walking heels (usually wedges and platforms) and sitting heels (usually stilettos). The former I can wear almost anywhere with confidence but the latter often require an elaborate system of band-aids, gel inserts and the odd piggyback ride to go any farther than a block. The trouble started when I decided to wear a pair of sitting heels to church – where I teach an adult gospel study class and have to stand and walk around for an hour. Normally I wouldn’t do that to myself but I had the cutest 40’s emerald green dress and my only green heels are these:

greenshoes1

Yeah those are VELVET with SILVER STARS. Silver stars of pain and dismemberment. 

So I ignored the irony of hobbling myself in the name of vanity while teaching about the magnificent creations that our bodies are and proceeded. Cognitive dissonance is my jam. But as I taught, I started to get distracted by the pain in my feet. I tried shifting back and forth which unfortunately closely resembles the pee-pee dance. I did the flamingo pose with one leg up. I tried squinching my toes up but that made them go all numb, which made me think of that new Heel No Pain foot spray to numb your feet so you can be more comfortable in your shoes because clearly the solution to painful shoes is to numb your feet nerves rather than make more comfortable shoes and sweet mercy what does this have anything to do with the Bible? Focus Charlotte! To heck with apples, the serpent should have offered Eve a Louboutin.

The only thing I didn’t try was that breakdancing move where you spin on your head and that was only because I was in a skirt. I made it through the lesson and we even had an excellent discussion about mindfulness, one of my fave topics these days. But the second it was done, I sprinted for my chair and ripped my shoes off – much to my friends’ delight. “They murdered my feet!” I gasped as I tried to get feeling back into my big toe. (See? Who needs numbing spray? If you stand long enough your feet will go numb all on their own!)

I think I may have finally crossed that (sensible) bridge, you guys: I may have reached that age where I value function over fashion.

As I mulled over my decision, an older woman leaned over and patted my leg, “Be careful with those or you’ll give yourself bunions and then you’ll never get to wear cute shoes again!”

To be sure, I’ve always limited my time in my insane shoes. I save them for special occasions or church and at home I wear socks or bare feet exclusively. Running errands or bopping up to the school (to have another throwdown with the administration over my appropriately active little boy) is always done in flat boots or Converses. But seriously, bunions? Me?? I’m not even really sure what they are other than that they’re in that category of weird stuff the elderly complain about along with gout and bursitis.

According to the Mayo Clinic, “Bunions are an abnormal, bony bump that forms on the joint at the base of your big toe.” They add that the cause is mainly from wearing shoes that are too tight in the toe box although I’d guess that the downward pressure of high heels doesn’t help either. Even worse, 90% of sufferers are women.

But nothing explains it like a picture:

bunion

You know what you don’t want to do on a random Sunday afternoon? Google pictures of bunions because that is an internet hole you will not come out of! For the love of little green apples, what am I even looking at here? How is this possible??

Okay, sorry. That was unnecessarily extreme. (But so interesting, right?) This is a better picture:

bunion2

 Also, did you know  you can get a little bunion – adorably called a bunionette – on the outside of your pinkie toe joint?

For the record, neither of those are my feet. From what I can tell, I don’t have any bunions. Yet. So is there any way to prevent getting them? The Mayo Clinic says that some bunions are genetic or the result of arthritis, neither of which you have much control over. But, the bunions that come from wearing ill-fitting or too-high shoes? Those can be mitigated. First by quitting the heels (sigh) but you can also use a toe separator (and here I thought those were just for pedis!) as well as some preventative exercises (one of them is actually long walks on the beach). This is important because it seems like once you have them you’re left with dealing with them and hoping they don’t get worse or having surgery to remove them. Yikes.

In the meantime I’ve got some A-list backup as it’s being reported that fashion moguls Alexa Chung and Kate Moss are “trying to bring back the flat.” Lest you think super models care about your foot function, the article clarifies that it’s because they look better with the trendy matchstick and skinny jeans. Either way, bring on the flats! Although I will say that I find most ballet flats extremely uncomfortable. The only kind I’ve ever liked are the Keen “ballet” flats but those have a toe box so big (and sooo comfy!) that my family calls them my duck shoes. I guess my toes just wanna be freeeee! Bring back the bare feet! (But not for running! Because that did not go well for me!)

In the end, I don’t think I’m ready to give up all my heels for good. I’ll still wear them for fun but I will think long and hard before wearing any of my “sitting heels” out again, no matter how cute they are!

What’s your go-to shoe for every day? What about for when you want to dress up? Any of you deal with bunions? Any advice?

64 Comments

  1. “Life IS pain Princess! Anybody who says differently is selling something.”

    (AND they are probably selling sparkly green velvet high heels with silver stars)

    *grins*

    Perhaps you should only use them for posing for still pictures?

    My own “go to” footwear are my runners…even at 40 below F.

    Males in my family have feet that are genetically impervious to the cold.

  2. I think you need to hook up with Katy Bowman, she’s all about the foot health (actually, whole body alignment, but it starts with feet!) : http://www.katysays.com
    It’s totally worth spending a few hours (days) reading back through her blog 🙂

  3. I am pretty sure that second pic foot has toes longer than my fingers.

  4. I was going to point you towards Katy Bowman as well, but someone already has. She’s written a book, Every Woman’s Guide to Foot Pain Relief, and has plenty of good stuff in the blog as well. I’m interested in alignment in general so I’ve been looking into it; I’ve only ever worn heels when forced to, for dance performances and such, and have no experience of bunions. I’m transitioning to “barefoot” shoes at the moment, and it’s surprising to realise how much heel there is even in flat shoes. But I blabber. If Katy doesn’t convince you to save the heels for Very Special Occasions, no one will.

  5. I found that when I switched to flatter shoes, I ‘unlearnt’ how to walk in heels properly. Certainly couldn’t walk in them for longer distances anymore (not even in my walking heels). After walking all summer in flats, I was unpleasantly surprised with my winter boots, which are all high heeled.
    I’ve donated quite a lot pumps, but can’t seem to part with my boots (I love my boots, even if they kill my feet, argh).

  6. Ewwww, was eating breakfast when that picture popped up!! I am and have never been a heel-lover. I wear medium heels maybe once every two years and even so I feel like an imposter, a fraud! (not to mention that whatever I have is probably no longer in style) I’m happy in my flats, running shoes, and bare feet!!

  7. I can’t go higher than 2-inches, it’s just too uncomfortable for me, plus I’m afraid of heights.

  8. AHHHHHH!!!!!! That foot. . .*sobs*. . .it will replace the whale in me nightmares. (simpsons line for the win!)

    (but really, the nails on that foot are nastier than the gnarly toe thing going on–totally reminds me of that nail fungus cream ad from years gone by, with that nasty little monster that lifts up the nail and claws at the nail bed. . .CLAWS AT THE NAIL BED!!!!)

    What were we talking about? Oh, high heels. Eh, I never got into them so now when I try to wear anything higher than a thick sole I wobble like a new born calf. So why bother.

    (right now I’m wearing mary janes with furry cat faces on the toe and tails on the back–the soles have the anarchy symbol on them which cracks me up because hello kitty looking cats are so not bucking the status quo. . .and as cute as these shoes are, they are super impractical. I keep them at my desk to wear around the office on days when I wear boots to work. They’re over glorified slippers.)

    • Sorry! I had to share the love, er, nightmares;) And yes, I remember that horrific commercial!!! You just gave me a full-body shudder, no joke. I love you so so much for your furry cat shoes! I want some…

  9. I almost never wear heels. At 6 feet tall in my bare feet I feel like when I put on heels I look freakish and feel like people are either looking for my Adam’s apple or the rest of my WNBA teammates. I used to work in the male dominated investment industry and sometimes I would wear heels to purposely tower over some sexist male coworker.

    I love ballet flats and most aren’t comfortable but Tom’s makes a very comfy and cute ballet flat. http://www.toms.com/m/womens/shoes/ballet-flats/burlap-alessandra-ballet-flats/s

  10. Ever since changing my running shoes to minimalist, I have carried that over to my regular shoes as well, with the exception of evenings out, when I will don some heels. But I’ve learned a lot from the Natural Running Center about foot health and about how much damage shoes do to our feet. We should all have feet where our toes are the widest part (look at a baby’s feet–and indigenous populations who never wear shoes), but instead, many of us have “squished” toes and yes, bunions. Shoes do an unhealthy number on our feet. Anyhow–the Merrell Barefoot line has some really cute flats that are very good for your feet. Truly like being barefoot. I have three pairs and wear them all the time w/ jeans, etc, and I think they’re super cute. Well, I hope they are!

  11. My go-to every day shoes have become a pair of Cole Haan oxfords. They are purple and so cute! And to me they feel like wearing cross trainers, which was surprising even if they are Nike Air! They are much more comfortable than ballet flats for me.

    I also think that doing yoga (barefoot) really helps my feet. I have wondered about the usefulness of doing weightlifting and other kinds of balancing exercises in socks or ‘barefoot’ shoes, to live your feet a good workout. I don’t know if it helps or not, but there’s a certain kind of logic to it.

  12. I def hae “sitting down” shoes, and whenever I get adventurous and wear them to a non sitting down event, I get so mad at myself!!! Especially since I really want to take care of my body. Luckily, it only happens like once or twice a year. That won’t kill me, right??

  13. Am I the only commenter who loves high heels? LOL At 5’4″ I need all the help I can get. I love pretty, sexy, sassy heels and the higher the better. Plus they make my butt look great. 🙂

    BUT .. I will say this, I don’t walk in them. I’ve been known to wear slip-on flats to drive and walk and then to change into my pretty outfit heels when I get to my location. If I have to walk more than 30 steps, the heels go into the purse and the flats come out.

    • No I love them too!! I’m only 5 ft 1 and I don’t think I even own a pair of heels less than 4in. I just can’t help it, I love them. I do try to buy good quality comfortable heels though and there is a very noticable difference between the end of a day I spent in cheap synthetic (but very cute) heels and good quality leather pumps. Also making sure I have the right size.
      I also sit for a living so that helps and I only have certain heels I will wear if I know I will standing or walking.

    • “At 5’4″ . . .”

      . . . you are just right in flats.
      If you insist on wearing heels, don’t insist on thinking that most men are short.

      • Pretty sure she didn’t ask for your opinion.

        • In much the same manner that neither she nor I asked for yours or Charlotte’s.

          When venturing outside the echo chamber between one’s ears one is likely to encounter opinions one disagrees with.

          You are free to ignore them, as Kara and Charlotte did. You are also free to comment on them, as you and I did.

    • I feel you girl! I love the way my heels look. Just not the way they feel… And I’m 5’7″ so when I wear my 5″ heels I’m 6 feet lol. I love feeling tall:)

  14. T-Tapp has a Finger Foot Fitness dvd that I swear by. I have sit down shoes – but like you, often end up teaching a class or called to give the prayer on the days I wear them. Which means tippy toeing all the way to the front of the chapel and back again. Or kicking them off and teaching in my socks (praying all the time there aren’t any holes/runs in them… I live in Florida but REFUSE to have bare legs at church. I’m old. And traditional.) Mostly I wear ballet flats, but they aren’t particularly comfy and fall off all the dang time. My horse stood on my foot and broke a toe. I wore my riding boots EVERYWHERE (great support) for several months. Depite the broken bone, it’s the most comfortable my feet have been in ages!

    • I’d forgotten about that aspect of T-Tapp! I should revisit that. And I’m glad your riding boots helped – hope your toe is all healed!

    • I’ve been scrolling down to see if anyone else mentioned Teresa’s Finger Foot Fitness. 🙂

  15. Not many beaches in Colorado to walk on…

  16. I confess I am the queen of Doc Martens. My feet are too small to wear stilettos and walk without falling so i rarely wear heels over an inch. After buying a few heels I never wore more than once I have resorted to boring comfy footwear…

  17. I wore a pair of heels the other night (I think they’re about 2 inches, lol!), to go to a play, and ended up hobbling back to the car. And I was sitting the whole time! 🙂
    I NEVER wear heels. I’m already taller than my husband (and his entire family), and I’m a bit klutzy. My go-to shoes are either my tennies or flip-flops. I LOVE my Keens, too. Of course, there’s also the fact that I don’t really go anywhere (except to the theater once in a while) where dressing up is required.
    I DID love those low boots with the chunky heels that were in fashion about a decade ago…

  18. My dressiest shoes, a pair of Clarks (flats, naturally) would probably be “casual” wear for most women, and I’m usually in sneakers. I sometimes look at the women’s shoe department displays and wonder if I’m an entire different species.

    But I agree, how cute is “bunionette?” Sounds like something you’d order at French cafe, accompanied by butter and jam and cafe au lait.

    • I would much rather have that type of bunionette!! And you’re not a different species! A smarter one maybe:)

  19. I only wear heels at church, and since I’m a pianist/organist I only wear them half the time. (Because you can’t wear 5 inch heels and play the piano, seriously, you just can’t.) But since bunions run in my family I actually spend a ridiculous amount on beautiful shoes so that they don’t hurt my feet.

    Okay, that’s just an excuse, I spend a lot of money on ridiculous shoes because I love them.

    • You and me both! Yay for ridiculousness!! 😉 And yeah, when I played for the primary I always took my heels off.

  20. I am afflicted with bunions so I kinda consider myself an expert 😉 the are caused by wearing shoes with a too tight/narrow toe box (especially heels) and a genetic pre-disposition. I had surgery on my right bunion and had screws put in as a kid but the bugger grew back! I also have flat feet. I did a little research when I started having pain during my last pregnancy and found that barefoot is best. Now I only workout barefoot (thankfully I exercise at home! ) even for cardio. It felt horribly awkward at first but now it feels totally normal and I don’t want to wear cumbersome shoes. I only wear comfy shoes with a wide toe box when I go out. Not cute or fashionable- but I really don’t want to make them worse. I also buy my kids good shoes that don’t cramp their toes.

  21. As someone who reached their full (and not insignificant height) at 11 years old I never got in the habit of wearing heels since I was already taller than all the boys. (And now I’m only an inch shorter than my husband.) It worked out since I have super sensitive feet. I didn’t even wear heels for my wedding. I found an adorable pair of ballet flats and then changed to sandals for the reception. Even low, supposedly comfortable shoes hurt me. I’ve found a few pairs of cute flats that don’t make me bleed (clear medical tape over your heel is the best trick ever!) and those are what I wear for special functions. Otherwise I wear brightly colored tennis shoes. I work in labs anyways so I have to have close-toed shoes and am on my feet a lot so sneakers just make sense.

    Right now though I have to say my favorite shoes are my fuzzy BareTrap boots. Darn polar vortex!

  22. Running definitely lowered my tolerance for cute shoes. I spend most of my summer in sandals (either flat or a small wedge), and most of my winter in sneaks or flat/small heel boots. I do have dress up shoes, but I can’t do anything too tall or I just end up in my socks anyway.

  23. Am I the only guy to comment?? Spike heels have never made any sense to me. I’m told women wear them to be prettier, but honestly, I don’t think they add anything. Height, maybe, but that’s not a prettiness thing… I subscribe to the old saying: “If the shoe [doesn’t] fit, [don’t] wear it.” Enjoying your blog, Dad

  24. Born shoes are great, super cute and very comfortable, and I can usually find them at discount stores like DSW. I love their flats and sandals. http://www.bornshoes.com/

  25. I used to wear heals every day when I worked in an office that required business attire. Once I started a job where jeans were appropriate every day, I started wearing more boots.

    Then, when I became a runner and found out that heels can harm your running due to them making your leg/foot muscles tired and tight, I switched to wearing tennis shoes almost every day.

    Now, I only wear heels maybe twice per month and even then I usually end up walking more than I planned and end up with sore feet. Sad, because they always look adorable!

  26. My favorite everyday shoes are Vibram Five Fingers… yes, those silly toe shoes! I’m hooked! I love how they fit my feet like a cozy glove, and how I can wiggle my toes individually and stretch my feet without having to take my shoes off!

    However, I do LOVE heels. I’m a little on the short side and it is so much fun to have that extra bit of height! I definitely limit wearing them for special occasions as you do Charlotte. When I do wear them I try to stick with the platforms because the 5 inch stilettos KILL my feet, even when I’m sitting! (even though I own a couple pairs…)

    Lovely blog, btw 🙂

  27. I’m not a heel person. My ex-husband tried, and even though I bought the comfiest heels I could, I still hardly wear them. It doesn’t help that I work at a public library where I do a lot of standing and walking so anything that causes foot pain is a no go. Plus where I live I need to take advantage of nice weather as often as I can, so if I’m wearing heels and want to go for a walk outside I’ll have to carry an extra pair of shoes. I already haul a bunch of stuff with me as it is!
    Recently my mom bought me a pair of red with gold skull and cross bone flats. They were cute, but didn’t quite fit. Wearing them though I was kinda inspired to buy more cute crazy flats to wear at work. Comfy and I won’t have the tendency to trip and fall.

    However, if I could find a pair of your green stilettos in a size eleven, I might be very tempted to buy them even if I just wear them around the house.

  28. As a competitive salsa dancer, high heels and foot pain are just par for the course.

    Outside of that, I spend a great deal of time barefoot, and most of my workouts are done barefoot, which helps build up the muscles in my feet so I can wear heels for long periods of time without suffering overly much.

    There is a huge difference between well-made shoes (usually leather) and cheap shoes–but sometimes, I just need to wear the cheap synthetic 6″ silver heels because they’re perfect for what I’m wearing.

    I like how I look in heels. I like how I walk in them. I wear what I wear because of how it makes me feel, not because of anyone else.

  29. I love heels. At church my nickname is Vicky (as in Beckham). I wore them up until I gave birth. LOVE THEM. I don’t find that I experience too much pain from them, and I don’t have bunions,but neither do any of my female relatives. Maybe we are immune? I don’t wear them a much now that I’m usually carrying my 3 month old around, but I sometimes go in my closet and just try them on for old time’s sake. I’m a dork.
    I’m 5’8″ already, so my heels sometimes make me close to 6 ft, which I love. Of course my hubby is 6’5″ so no matter how high the heel I can get away with it…I’ve recently started bemoaning the fact that platforms are giving way to pointy toes again. I just do not get that pointy, pointy toe. It looks super odd on my already long, skinny feet. Ah well, I could go on, but I’ll digress. Yay high heels!

  30. I love looking at heels on OTHER people. I have a pair of Danskos – you know, those shoes with the wooden platform soles that are all good for your feet and posture that nurses where? Well…I fall off those. Literally. I twisted my ankle in them BAD. Heels would render me wheelchair bound. Likely for my life.

    Even still, I just noticed a bunionette forming on my left foot about 2 weeks ago!! I had to google it (duh) and now I am so paranoid. I don’t even wear heels!!

  31. Oh, no! I’m sorry. I gave up heels a few years ago. They were too much for my pelvic problems and gave me hip bursitis to boot. It was weird at first, but now I’m used to it. I hope you find some cute comfortable shoes!

  32. LOVING the bunion photos! Thanks for that 🙂

    As for the high heels – I have never gotten into them really *GASP*… I know.. for all the girly attributes I have, walking in heels is just not one of them.

  33. I wore a pair of stunning heels to a Christmas party at Windows on the World atop the WTC in NYC back in 1996. After an evening dancing, my feet were numb with pain. At the end of the night, got out of the taxi, dumped them in the trash on the corner and walked in my stocking feet to my apartment. Did I mention it was Dec? in NYC? Yeah, that’s how bad it was.

    As a rule, I avoid high heels. 🙂

  34. These days my go to shoes are my BOG boots! -20 with 5 inchs of snow fall most weeks is too much for anything else. Seriously though, I have genetic bunions and have had them since I was 16. I had surgery about ten years ago and they are smaller, but they will always be there, luckily they don’t cause me any pain. They do however impact my knees and hips as they change your gait and I now have problems particularly with my knee. Unfortunately it’s mostly ugly shoes for me. If I try on the super cute shoes, they just don’t fit, my bunions make my feet too wide. There are however some companies making well made, nicer flats and pumps that I can wear. I have my version of cute shoes for the summer. I wear heels about once a year and always love it at first and regret it a couple hours later. The reality is your feet are incredibly important, as we age, things like shoes make more and more of an impact. It’s more important to me to remain active in 40 years then it is for me to have cute shoes for a night.

    Side note, Oprah did a show here last year and apparently about an hour into the show, took her shoes off because they were too uncomfortable and asked if there was anyone who wore size 11 shoes! She gave them to someone who happens to be a local media celebrity so now there are random pics of people in my facebook feed with Oprah’s purple heels!

  35. 1. I have genetic bunions. it sucks. I blame my (paternal) grandma. my dr. a few years back said I could have surgery to get rid of them, but, like someone posted above, they can grow back. also, I’d need to take a long hiatus from work/triathlon to do so and I’m not interested in living on crutches again.
    2. I’m 5’9″ and enjoy wearing heels that make me taller. some things I have just look better with heels. that being said, I do have heels that work for two hours, four hours, etc.
    3. I lust over some ridiculously expensive heels and I wonder if the cost actually makes a difference in shoe comfort, since finding cute shoes that fit my stupid feet? nigh impossible. sometimes I think splurging might actually be worth it if they’ll be more comfortable.

  36. I got bunions so.. well, that was not nice! 😉 genetic ones too & got worse with age. I can’t get in any fun shoes – so go to are sneakers! I wish I could wear some fun shoes now & then!

  37. I don’t gross out easily, but that picture made me gag a little.

    I have a big ole bunion on my right foot and eventually I will be getting surgery for it. Too many years of insisting that my feet were not wide and that they were a couple sizes smaller than reality, plus a genetic predisposition on both sides of my family, means I’ve been rocking this bunion for at least 10 years (I’m 37 now). However, I only gave up completely on high heels a few years ago. Thank goodness flats came back in style. Now I can’t wear heels at all. In fact today I’m wearing a boot with a slight heel and I can only walk so far because the pressure of my slanted foot on the bunion is excruciating.

    My advice, forget the heels, at least the stupidly high ones. Bunions aren’t worth it!

  38. hello your website very interesting . i sincerely like your website and it’s content. I wish you succès with that beacause your content article is very informative Thanks for all.

  39. Got bunions on ma ass

  40. I started trying to avoid getting bunions and other foot and body aliments from wearing the wrong shoes back in 1990, after I fractured the ball of my foot in 3 places from running down the hall in stilleto high heels while I was at work. I have a foot book that I found and was trying to be faithful. I still ended up with an arthritis induced bunion, which is a little different but hurt like hell!!..I finally had surgery to fix the problem and did my research. My foot surgeon said, no shoes over an inch high. Wear shoes that give toes room to spread. Huh? Where do you find those? Make sure your shoes are long enough! No pointed toed (ugly) shoes! Where was this information in 1990?

    Women in stilletos are pushing this dangerous shoe fad onto young women who grow up and suffer torture to look good in the eyes of now days standards. It is creepily similar to Chinese feet binding. Victoria Beckham, so proud of her horribly high heels, thinks flat shoes are ugly. Take a look at her horrible feet!

    Women need to take a stand against this. I am 62 and happy to have the surgery overwith but I can tell you, it is not worth it in the end. I don’t even care how cute the stupid shoe is; your feet’s well-being is what is important! Us women need to speak out against these modern day torture chambers. What a waste of life!!