Last night I got this text from my sister:
Her: I just read your post about revenge! Were you talking about me? Why didn’t you just talk to me??
Me: What? No! I wasn’t talking about you. Why would you think that???
Her: Um… I don’t know. Just making sure!
And then I woke up to an e-mail from a friend in Minnesota. She thought I was talking about her too. And she felt super bad about it. I spent several e-mails reassuring her that I hadn’t been talking about her either.
And NOW? I just got an e-mail from a friend in Seattle whom I haven’t even seen in a decade… asking if I meant her. No and no.
Ay, yi, yi. You know what they say about three being a trend…
I knew it was risky writing that example in my post – I’ve learned in the past I really should only talk about myself on my blog as other peoples’ stories are their stories and not mine to tell – but in the end I felt like it was necessary to include it because a) I wanted a more general example that more people would be able to relate to besides the sexual assault situation and b) That experience ended up being a very sweet one for me as it allowed me both to learn why revenge never works (i.e. you can’t control the other person) and also gave me the opportunity to be truly forgiving – which is a gift in its own right. I thought if I changed a couple of key details and stayed really vague about the exact situation then I could share the beauty and healing of the experience without hurting anyone – and maybe encourage some of you if you are struggling with a similar hurt.
Oopsie. How’s my lipstick?
Anyhow, my point was not to passive-aggressively call out the person and make them apologize. Truly it wasn’t. And I’m sorry for anyone who thought I meant them! In hindsight, using that example was probably a bad call and making it so vague only made more people think it was them.
All of which makes my point at the end of that post even better: I am far more often in the position of needing to ask for forgiveness than in the position to grant it. Which makes it even more important that I be generous when offered the chance:)
Love you guys! (Yes, all of you. This time I really do mean you.) Thanks for listening to my rambling and please, again, accept my apologies.
P.S. I’m closing the comments on this post because I’d like to keep the discussion on the healing power of forgiveness and not speculation over my poorly worded blind item. But I do have a real post for you later today so for those of you sick of my dramz – don’t despair!