Have You Ever Tried to Give Someone A Fitness Makeover? [What not to do, as demo’d by Tracy Anderson. And me.]

Celebs take note: THIS is how you give someone a makeover! (Click through to see the video)

Tracy Anderson, celebrity trainer of the “women should never lift more than three pounds” fame, wants to add Lena Dunham to her celeb roster that includes Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez and Madonna. In case you don’t live and breathe pop culture, Dunham is the star of the massively popular show Girls* on HBO where her character has a signature “real woman” shape that defies the standard Hollywood template of what a “star” should look like. Indeed, one of the main controversies the show garnered last season was about whether or not the “dumpy” Dunham could really have bedded a hot guy, as her character did on the show – as if a woman who isn’t Pilates-perfect could actually be desirable to anyone, much less a certified Hottie.

Anyhow, Anderson coming to the rescue, enthused about her love of the show before saying that she knew she could “transform” Dunham, if only she would let her! She adds that she sends her trainers to the set but no luck. Whether it’s because her character requires her to maintain that body type or because she really is happy with herself where she is (and I SO hope it’s the latter),  Dunham’s just not interested in being transformed into Anderson’s “teeny tiny” version of perfection.

As I read this “news” story last week, I got all rage-y. Dunham is one of the most successful actresses on TV right now – How dare Anderson try to body shame her? Who says she is in need of a transformation?? Here’s your newsflash: Women without perfectly beautiful bodies can lead wonderfully beautiful lives. Thin does not equal happy. Thin does not equal successful. Thin does not equal worthy of love, smart, strong or kind. And I really wish people would stop trying to sell us that crap. What gives anyone the right to guilt someone into doing their idea of the perfect workout?

But as I ranted, I remembered how I did something similar just the other night. You guys. I totally pulled a Tracy Anderson. I could blame the late hour, the stress from the flooding or even the intoxicating smell of licorice (Red Vines not Twizzlers, a.k.a. ropes of wax). But in truth I was just a jerk:

Him: I just signed up to do XXX! [No, he’s not going into porn, although that might make this story more entertaining. Rather, I don’t want to detail his plan because, as will soon become obvious, I think it’s a bad one and while it would be nice to have all of you weigh in on the subject, the fact is that since it’s his choice, it’s none of my business. He also didn’t sign up for public scrutiny on my blog so as bad as I want to hash it all out, I’ll leave it at a non-porny very-popular-these-days athletic endeavor, XXX.)

Me: Oh, um, wow. [I tried for about 0.68 seconds to hold it in. You should have seen my eye twitch. Clearly he was proud of himself and just wanted the obligatory “way to go, man!” and “you’ll rock it!”. But could I do that? Nope.] Have you seen the injury rate for XXX?

Him: Well, no.

Me: It’s ridiculously high.

Him: I think I’m in pretty good shape. Plus, my buddy wants to do it as a way to lose 100+ pounds and get fit.

Me: First, being in good shape helps but it doesn’t mitigate the inherent riskiness of it. You can’t strong-man your way out of things that are deliberately designed to be dangerous, even if they’re meant to be “fun.” Second, the risk is even worse for your friend. That’s awesome he has a fitness goal and that you want to support him in it but this whole “go big or go home” mentality has got to stop. He can get wonderfully healthy without endangering himself.

Him: Lots of people do XXX. (Gah, I can’t even keep a straight face typing this! YYY? XYZ!)

Me: And lots of them get hurt doing XXX. Besides, with the type of work you do, even a small injury could really hurt you economically as well as physically. Why would you pay to do put yourself in that situation?

Him: Did you get hurt doing it?

Me: No but by the time I was done I felt more lucky than anything else. Several of the people I did it with got really injured. I’d never do it again.

Him: I already signed up.

At which point I shut up because I realized from the steely glint in his eye that I’d basically just cemented his resolve to do it and prove me wrong. I could recognize it because I see it in my kids’ eyes all the time. (“Don’t you dare put rocks in my blender to make rock soup!” “Don’t you copy Spiderman and try to hang from the ceiling!” “I told you not to take that huge bowl of cereal, there’s no way you can eat all that!” Watch. Me.) I’m a professional buzzkill.

Because I spend my life reading research studies, interviewing experts (and, also, “experts”) and generally living and breathing the science and culture of fitness, I tend to get (more than) a little know-it-all-y on the topic. It’s not a bad thing if someone asks for my opinion on, say, whether or not eating skinny people’s poop can really help them lose weight (tune in tomorrow for the surprising science answer to that one!). But when someone is just doing their thing and I jump in, unsolicited? Super annoying. In fact, it’s so annoying I even irritate myself. While I’m speaking. But like the poor bedeviled child in the Red Shoes, I just cannot stop myself. Which is kind of ironic because if I’ve learned one thing from all this it’s how much I don’t know.

Where Tracy did it under the guise of wanting to shape Leah into the perfect Hollywood starlet, I did it under the guise of wanting to save my friend from injury but both of us were offering our one-sided brand of help. And neither of us were asked for it. I’m not saying I’m totally like Anderson – she’s made her career out of body-shaming women into 3 hours of cardio a day while I’ve made my career (such as it is) trying to talk women out of doing stuff like 3 hours of cardio a day. But no matter who you are, hang around health and fitness circles long enough and you’ll eventually hear someone doing something that you think is daft and you’ll reallllly want to call them out on it. It takes a strong woman to bite her tongue. I’m not saying you should never offer advice. But you – and I, especially – should probably wait to be asked for it.

I think both situations left such a bad taste in my mouth because I can’t even count how many times I’ve had fitness gurus tell me that if I only did exactly what they say then they would “transform me” into a goddess overnight whether or not that’s even what I want. Fitness transformations are so popular that they even have their own shows like Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition and Fat. Why can’t we disconnect the idea that fitness has to lead to a certain body type to be worthwhile? This is why we have so many people who think that if they’re not losing weight then their workout isn’t working. (And I say that as a former card-carrying member of that club.) Yet there’s just something so tempting about wanting to play God and wrest people’s control of their bodies away from them. But the few times I’ve tried it, it’s gone very badly. At worst I’ve damaged our friendship, at best I’ve just given them something to rebel against: me. If you’d just listen to me… And yet nothing makes people want to listen to you less.

Has anyone ever tried to give you a fitness makeover? Have you ever tried to give someone else a fitness makeover? What happened?? What would you say to a friend who told you he/she just signed up to do something you thought unsafe – would you keep quiet or try and talk them out of it?  And: Red Vines or Twizzlers??

*Speaking of unpopular opinions… I’m just going to say it: I don’t like Girls. I watched a couple of episodes but could barely get through those. Maybe this is just me being An Old but I couldn’t relate to their lives at all. They all seem so whiny and selfish and un-self-aware. I know that’s a stretch coming from me but nothing about that show represents anything I’ve experienced in my life. My 20’s were pretty much the exact opposite of that. And I don’t see any of my friends in the Girls either. I found myself wanting to scream at the TV just GROW UP already!! So instead I put on my wrinkle cream and went to bed early, like the geezer I am. P.S. I had the same problem with Sex and the City. It was popular for a while to take the “which SATC character are you” quizzes and I always wanted to circle NONE OF THE ABOVE, SO HELP ME. Or I’d just sigh and say Charlotte because, you know, we have the same name and we’re both brunettes.

69 Comments

  1. Nice video of Ellen and Jennifer Anniston, wonderfull women, both of them.

    Nobody has tried to fitness make-over me yet, but a few times people did want to change stuff about my appearance (my hair, glasses, clothing. I’m not extremely girly) and that annoyed the living daylight out of me, made me very stubborn and it’s one of the few things that can make me angry.
    I would be tempted to give fitness advise myself but I’m very cautious with that, at the most I would respect everyone’s choice, because whe’re all different and what doesn’t work for me might very well work for someone else, but I might advise them to be carefull (if I’m very worried and cannot contain myself).
    It’s an interesting question though. I agree with you about having to stay out of other peoples business and personally I tend to keep my mouth shut even if I am worried, but isn’t there a point that you should advise someone, before they hurt themselves?

    anyway, Nice Blog.
    ow, and I totally agree with you about the body-shaming, it results in people not being able to appreciate eachothers beaty as long as it doesn’t resemble a picture that actually very few people can achieve.

  2. Not sure what XXX is, but guessing P**X? I did not care for “Girls” either; for the same reasons.

    • My guess is it’s CrossFit because that’s the same schpeel people give me when they ask me what I do.

    • Haha – not P90X or CrossFit!! And yeah, I do actually like both of those programs quite a bit. I’ve had my quibbles with them and don’t do them daily (like I used to) but I still mix in both of those on a semi-regular basis! They’re great butt-kickers. I don’t necessarily think they’re for beginners but I wouldn’t warn someone away from them. If you want to play the guessing game… think more race oriented;)

      • Has anyone ever tried to give you a fitness makeover?
        I have no idea? Not really. My boyfriend attempts such things for about 3 minutes then I whine and he goes back to working out with his buddies.

        Have you ever tried to give someone else a fitness makeover? What happened??
        I attempted with my boyfriend. Even when I know best he just ignores me (he’s a rest is for the weak, hit it everyday type) I debate for about 5 minutes and then say “okay do whatever you want”.. Eventually he reads something or hears something from a friend that I have said months ago…And I gloat to myself haha. Otherwise it’s usually just my friends or gym members asking for advice..they can take it or leave it. I usually run into people saying “I want to look like [certain body type]” can I just do this [one exercise]?” NO you can’t okay. (so I phrase it more like “oh you can do that plus this and this to get firmer”) But, some people don’t listen, even though they asked for advice I tend to avoid just handing advice out to people who don’t want it.
        What would you say to a friend who told you he/she just signed up to do something you thought unsafe – would you keep quiet or try and talk them out of it?
        Meh.. if she said “OH I signed up for aerial yoga!!! 😀 😀 :D” and literally has zero flexibility and is accident prone, I’d still say “yay! so glad you’re exercising”. Or other friends start CrossFit “that’s great for you”. Now that’s because I feel like a dream killer if I start talking about injuries and bad things that can happen. That makes me that evil balloon popper. But, if she asked what I thought of a particular program (I seem to be the go-to friend for this) I’d give an honest opinion. But, if it is between aerial yoga and absolutely zero exercise, clumsy friend will be aerial yoga-ing it up. Especially if it’s just a class or two. If they ask me to go with them to something I think is ridiculous I can say no. But, I’ve learned that my brand of exercise isn’t for everyone.

        And: Red Vines or Twizzlers??
        I’m allergic to red#40.. so if you want my airways to constrict…

  3. I just think it’s incredibly sad that (subjectively judged) physical attractiveness is now the ONLY factor people consider when judging whether or not it’s realistic for two characters to hook up.

    I also don’t think there’s much of a disparity between the two? And isn’t he kinda old? Not that there is anything wrong with that, I guess.

    You will drive yourself crazy trying to make sure you ‘match up’ perfectly with someone of the ‘right attractiveness level.’ I see this phenomenon mostly in those idiot guys who believe in ‘gaming’ and ‘negging’ women so they can find the right ‘number’ that they ‘deserve’ (i.e. guys who believe they are pickup artists). It’s just so shallow and dumb.

    Exercise fads and danger, I don’t know. I wish you’d say what XXX is. I mean, look, I got seriously injured running, so have a lot of people on my team–running isn’t dangerous for EVERYone, though arguably doing it on an intense/competitive level can be. Anything taken too far is dangerous. But most people are not like you and me, Charlotte (based on your past, anyhow)–they don’t push through ridiculous pain when they know they should stop, so they are safe! I think it’s a training mindset, not a training method, that can be most damaging. (I.e. some people are prone to overtraining no matter WHAT they do).

    • Good point about the training mindset! But I do think this particular activity is geared to be dangerous in its own right. If you want to play the guessing game, think more race oriented. And it’s not the running I’m worried about;)

  4. “Has anyone ever tried to give you a fitness makeover?”
    No.

    “Have you ever tried to give someone else a fitness makeover?”
    I don’t do “fitness” or “makeovers.” I coach and train. If you want to earn a Marines Challenge T-shirt or cycle a 10m TT in under 30 minutes, give me a call. You want a look, call a stylist.

    “Red Vines or Twizzlers??”
    I’m a Celiac, you insensitive clod.

    • “You want a look, call a stylist” – excellent point! And now I’m curious what one has to do to earn a Marines Challenge t-shirt?! As for licorice – I didn’t realize it had gluten in it! I thought it was 100% sugar?

      • “. . . what one has to do to earn a Marines Challenge t-shirt?”
        20 dead hang pull ups.

        “I didn’t realize it had gluten in it! I thought it was 100% sugar?”
        If it were just corn syrup it would be a gummy worm. To give it that chewy toughness it’s a composite material, corn syrup on a wheat flour matrix. In other words, sugared paste.

        • Ah well, I’m out for the Marines Challenge. Bummer. As for the gluten in licorice – I learn something new every day! Thank you!

          • “Ah well, I’m out for the Marines Challenge. Bummer.”
            Well, to be honest, that’s the men’s standard. I’m not sure what the women’s standard is, because I don’t think anybody does at the moment. The 45 second 90 degree static hang has been depricated in favor of pull ups like the men, but they seem to be still working out what the “norm” for women should be.

            The T-shirt is also the grand prize. There’s a second prize of a water bottle and a third prize of a lanyard. You could go back on successive training years and collect the set.

            The T-shirt, by the way, bears the motto, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”
            I don’t know about you, but my experience is that pain is strength leaving the body like it was a house afire. The weakness leaves the body during the nap afterwards, but just you try to get a marine to wear a T-shirt with the motto “Napping is weakness leaving the body” on it. I guess that’s why I’ve always admired leopards, at least, ya know, as long as they’re not trying to eat me and shit. They’ve got that Strength Through Napping thang down.

            “I learn something new every day!”
            You’ve just gotta be more careful. Do that for too many days and you end up the one eyed woman in the land of the blind, and you know what that leads to:

            Being labeled a paranoid schizophrenic.

        • Everything about that last comment is perfect. You totally made my day. And also, now I want t-shirts that say “pain is strength leaving the body like it was a house afire.” on the front and “Napping is weakness leaving the body” on the back! So with you on the leopard too.

  5. I understand what you’re getting at (unsolicited advice is not the way to go and often has unintended consequences), but there’s a BIG difference between warning someone about the level of injury in a certain workout and sending trainers, uninvited, to a TV set to try and force someone to comply with what you think she should look like.
    Tracy Anderson and her workouts are a passing fad, and she knows that. She’s desperately trying to get some publicity for herself, but the only way she has EVER done that is by making outrageous claims and, yes, shaming other women.
    Oh, and her workouts are HORRIBLE! She claims to get inspiration from Pilates and Callanetics, but I’ve never seen either taught the way she does it. And there’s no instruction in many of her workouts; you’re supposed to just follow along. I’ve hurt myself a number of times trying to do her programs.
    As for “Girls'” I’m not a huge fan of the show (20-something New Yorkers can be a particularly annoying breed. I say that having been one myself. :)) but I admire Lena Dunham for writing, directing, and playing someone who is far from perfect. Too many women on TV and in film are only there as eye candy, with no real personality or function.
    Oh, and Richard E. Grant will be in the upcoming series, so I may have to start watching regularly.

    • Good point about this whole thing likely being for publicity! And I gave it to her! Oy… Also, good point about admiring Dunham for her writing and “rule breaking” – you’re right, that’s amazing and we need more of it!

  6. Red Vines all the way! I just had this conversation with someone who was a Twizzlers fan. Ugh! Wax is right.

    As far as advice goes, I really try and stay quiet when someone tells me of their latest fitness plan. I just figure that even tho it may not be for me, you never know what will work for someone else…

    Love your blog, btw. One of my daughters is named Charlotte too!

  7. I’m fat so often get unwanted advice including “Have you tried exercise?” while sweating to death on a 5 hour hike. I get stopped my strangers and I get interventions from co-workers. People that know me and know I have lost 120 Lbs want to tell me I’m doing it wrong. I kind of expect interference because of my size because it is common and I am used to it. I go from zero to furious when I get the same thing about other areas of my life.
    On the weekend one of my neighbors told me I wasn’t keeping my yard up properly and that I needed to hire somebody to help me keep it up to her standards. I told her I didn’t like the look of her garden either, but I had learned to endure.

    • Hahah – I love your answer to your neighbor! (Esp since we’re having a, um, similar issue with one of ours. Perfect mix of diplomatic and hilarious. Anyhow, I’m so depressed about the other situations though when people have given you unsolicited advice about your weight. I wish people could understand that you simply CAN’T tell a person’s health by looking at them from the outside. Keep fighting the good fight!

  8. Interesting questions…
    Has anyone ever tried to give you a fitness makeover?
    No, but I think I might have liked that. I did enjoy personal training, adn saw resutls 🙂
    Have you ever tried to give someone else a fitness makeover? ‘No, however I have had a number of friends come and “try” a wrokout with me (the ones my PT would assign for me to do). Only one friend ever stuck it out, she is still my gym buddy…
    What would you say to a friend who told you he/she just signed up to do something you thought unsafe – would you keep quiet or try and talk them out of it?
    Good question, I am unsure, I would do neither, just tell them my opinion but let them do it… unless I don’t know htem that well, then I would jsut not say anything.
    And: Red Vines or Twizzlers??
    Probably red vines, but not sure . Would likely get something else altogether 🙂

    Regarding the boy thing, I agree with you and others, iti s sad that one has to equal “thin” to hot (for aa beautiful lady) and that only the thin ladies can hook up with hotties… I can’t even count how many (judgemental me -cringe) I (or a friend) would say wow, I would not have put those 2 together – you know, at first sight, ten realize, well, I totally get it based on presonality once you ge to know them. I don’t like that I have said that, but I have… not so much now that I am older thankfully.

    • Doh, BODY, not boy… lol

    • Haha – I thought it made sense as “boy thing” too! And yeah, I’ve heard people say that as well, from both directions (“How did he get a girl that looks like HER? He must be rich”) Sigh.

  9. I’ve never watched Girls, but from the pictures, I thought she looked cute. Anyway… I always wondered how a real woman was expected to not lift more than 3lbs. I know she means in a workout, but both my kid and my purse weigh way more than that.

    • I know, right?? Even a brand new baby weighs like 7 pounds…

      • Or 9lbs., then 10lbs…I gestate giants. The one cooking now is on his way to being a 10 pounder too! So forget you, “Tracy3lbs”. I also realllllly hate that she says running is a bad exercise because it makes your butt too big. As if I only run to get a little butt. Exercise is about so much more than getting skinny. For me it’s about down time, clearing my head, getting a little time to myself to just zone. Can’t wait for this baby to be born (4 weeks left, then about 6 weeks for recovery) so I can start seriously working out again. I miss it so much; sometimes I dream about it. As it stands, I’m still lifting 5lb dumbells. I need to keep my arms up to lug my giant child around when he’s born!

        • Oh I’m with you on this one! My biggest was 10 lbs 14 oz!! (And my smallest was Jelly Bean at 8.5 pounds) You have ALL my empathy right now! Also, I would like a bigger butt. And I like running. So take that Tracy.

          • I literally crossed my legs when you listed off your almost 11 pounder! Hats off to you, mama! That’s a lot o’ baby!

  10. Well I think I might have the same reaction as your friend, if someone told me not to do xxx. (which I suspect is something more like a mudrun or iron man..I know someone who ended up in a back brace for months doing something like that) . Telling me not to do something or trying to control me on a thing is the quickest way to get me to do the opposite.
    It’s still hard to resist though. A friend of mine recently started doing Insanity, and I see her as a similar fitness level to me (not very fit at all and with lots of extra weight) and oooh I wanted to discourage her, but I kept my mouth shut. I know how I felt people were trying to talk me out of even the idea of working up to running. Turns out this friend loves super duper hard workouts and finds them motivating even if she has to modify a lot, quite the opposite of me who finds that discouraging.

    I watched some videos of Tracy Anderson’s latest workout. It seems kind of weird and random. I’d heard that about her and 3lbs so I was already biased against her workouts. 3 lbs? Really? So I guess I should stop putting all the grocery bags on one arm and taking them in in one trip eh? Heh.

    • ” Telling me not to do something or trying to control me on a thing is the quickest way to get me to do the opposite.” Yep. That’s exactly what happened. And in retrospect, I can’t blame him. I probably would feel the same way. #facepalm

  11. Totally agree about the Tracy Anderson thing, and like you, I just couldn’t get into Girls for the very same reasons. But for some reason, loved Sex and the CIty! Didn’t like the main character much, but the others were more interesting and the writing was at times so clever. Hmm, and I was a big Ab Fab fan too so clearly I have a high tolerance for certain sorts of misbehavior. And I love Nurse Jackie. Wonder what it is about Girls that seems so off-putting? Couldn’t be my age, could it?

    Oops gotta run, there are some kids playing on my lawn that I need to go scream at…

  12. I would totally pay you a quarter to hear the backstory behind the rocks in the blender. 😉

    • Buwhahaha! That was about it actually. They’d read “Rock Soup” in school about a lady who tricks people out of their hunger by making soup from stones and they decided to interpret that literally. Unfortunately for my blender. But now that I have a nice Vitamix I guard that thing with my life;)

  13. Hi Charlotte,
    I read that article from Dailymail and I cannot believe what I am reading! I have always been uncomfortable with how women are portrayed in the media as must be thin, curvy, and beautiful to be successful, or even with some men who, no offense intended, look like criminal thugs and yet they are surrounded by beautiful women! That image is so disturbing bc I don’t understand how can media portray women as almost like objects for possession!! Don’t get me started on the movies Ted, where a damn teddy bear was with these bikini girls too!

    Yet the TV critics can’t accept that a not-so-thin woman is loved by a handsome man?? At least it’s love, from what I can see, and she is not an object for possession!

    Sorry for going on a rant here. I just hate this double standard. No wonder women are hating their bodies!!

    • Oh rant away! I am SO there with you! And I hadn’t even thought of the Ted bear angle – you’re right that’s even more horrendous!!

      • Thank you for your reply, Charlotte! And I know right! I never watched Ted but the trailers and friends’ reactions just disgusted me. :/ great post, by the way!

  14. I’ve never even heard of the show girls. How old am I?

    I think the post is much more interesting to assume that xxx stands for something dirty. I mean honestly, how many people do get injured doing xxx? It’s a question I now want to know the answer to, but there is NO WAY I can google that! Also, I can’t wait to see what kind of google searches end up on this post now.

    I’m not nearly as creepy as this comment makes me sound. (Okay, maybe I am.)

    I have given plenty of unsolicited fitness advice in my day, it just spews out of me like word vomit. But I figure that most of my close friends know me well enough, and have been through word vomit on various topics with me often enough, that they can just roll their eyes and move on. At least I hope so, though that would explain why my friends are always washing their hair…

    • I know, right?? There’s got to be some kind of athletic porn niche! And this: “But I figure that most of my close friends know me well enough, and have been through word vomit on various topics with me often enough, that they can just roll their eyes and move on. At least I hope so, though that would explain why my friends are always washing their hair…” is SO ME TOO. Let’s be soul sisters. We can bore the crap out of each other:)

  15. Yeah, I know I do this too when people mention certain fitness things. And especially “fitness” trends. (I’m looking at you Sketchers Shape Ups. I couldn’t for the life of me keep my mouth shut when people told me how sore they were after walking in them.) I can feel it making me an annoying know-it-all but I can’t help it. It reminds me of the time a friend told me the reason she gets sucked into internet debates is that, “People are wrong on the internet! They have to know they’re wrong!” lol. I don’t know what it is about fitness that makes it hard for me to shut up.

    And, I might be a minority opinion here but Twizzlers, yum! I know they taste like plastic but I think it’s delicious plastic. My husband refuses to kiss me after I eat them though.

    • Haha you and me both! (The can’t-help-it-know-it-all not the Twizzlers thing). Glad to know I’m not alone! And I’ve had to learn the hard way not to engage in Internet debates on certain topics lol. I’ve actually lost sleep over it!

  16. My mantra: Don’t judge, stop judging.

    My reality: Screaming SHUT UP in my head as I am talking… and judging others for a wide variety of things that have nothing what-so-ever to do with me.

    Ah, the pursuit of perfection.

    Also – yes, all current shows about young people are terrible. They are selfish. I just poured out some judging all over that.

    • Okay this: “My reality: Screaming SHUT UP in my head as I am talking… and judging others for a wide variety of things that have nothing what-so-ever to do with me.” just made my whole day. Laughed so hard. Me too, sister.

  17. Jessica Fletcher-Fierro

    I laughed out loud (well, more snorted) about the idea of Lena Dunham doing the Tracy Anderson workout. IF Ms. Dunham decided to workout and get a trainer, I can’t see her touching Tracy Anderson with a ten-foot (three pound) pole. Her body is her business, so any trainer publicly soliciting her is annoying, but it’s especially ridiculous to think she’d go that route.

    My husband has given me unsolicited workout advice. I find it annoying, but he is often right, so I don’t get too bent out of shape about it.

  18. I like Girls, but I do NOT like the characters! I agree, they’re nothing like I was in my 20s and I don’t know anyone like them… and if I did know someone like them, I would NOT want to be their friend. However, they’re such hot messes that it is entertaining to me! Though I can see why others don’t like it. I will prob get sick of it in season 3 unless it is really good…

  19. I try not to offer unwanted advice on fitness – I figure people know that I work out and if they ask my opinion on things I will tell them.
    I don’t think I’ve ever heard of the show Girls but I loved Sex and the City!
    And I love Twizzlers!!

    • I totally need your attitude!

      • Mostly it is just because I know how I feel when someone just gets into fitness and is a bit over zealous and wants to tell me what I should be doing and how to do it (can you tell that has happened recently?!).

  20. I try not to offer unsolicited advice, but I think we all slip up sometimes :). This is my take on Girls: I think the characters are meant to be satirical, extreme versions of my generation. I’m in my early twenties, and I definitely see some of these (albeit exaggerated) characteristics in myself and my peers. That being said, those same self-centered tendencies sometimes make the show painful to watch. The producer is Judd Apatow, so I think that gives an idea of what type of comedy it is :). I do appreciate that Lena Dunham appears to be comfortable in her body and I think it’s great that she writes, directs, AND acts in the show! And I’m sorry to say that I am abnormal in that I do not like any type of licorice :).

    • Good point about the Girls characters! And also Judd Apatow. I def have to give Lena props for doing all that and doing it her way!

  21. Gotta love when I have random people suggest a low carb diet to me – a triathlete doing 10+ hours a week of vigorous running, biking, and swimming. I’ve done the research. I will literally fall down on the sidewalk around mile 12 with just meat and salad. Yes, it’s possible to very slowly train your body to be more efficient at burning fat but we have a great system already in place in our bodies with carbs that works well and carbs are wonderful as long as you eat the right ones at the right times. One thing I get to enjoy as an endurance athlete is that my body responds in a different way to insulin spikes and it’s not really a bad thing for me to be loading up my glycogen stores often!

    Also, I’ve tended to stray towards the vegetarian life lately (eating meat about once a day). I always get the “well, how do you get your protein”. I’m not sure why people think only meat has protein in it… but a lot of my veggie meals have more protein in them than the meals with meat (or very similar content).

    Whew, guess I was feeling ranty. To answer your question – neither – give me some good quality BLACK licorice though and I’m all over it!

    • Mmm… black licorice!!! And this: “but we have a great system already in place in our bodies with carbs that works well and carbs are wonderful as long as you eat the right ones at the right times” YES. I feel the same way. And you and I have talked about this before but I swear we have the same metabolism stuff ’cause I do better on lower meat, higher carb diets too. I’m happier and feel healthier. I totally get that some people love keto or paleo and I’m cool with them being happy but it just doesn’t work for this girl!

  22. We know why Tracy Anderson would like to transform Lena. She would actually have visibly altered someone’s appearance instead of keeping thin and rich women thin. Too bad the character that Lena created is supposed to be fat and unattractively dressed. I love Girls. It’s great satire. And I love Red Vines.

  23. I have a friend who used to start conversations with “the thing you need to understand” and after that all i heard was “wordswordswords” I couldn’t listen after hearing him try to tell me what I need to understand.

    I’m dying here trying to figure out what XXX is?

    Tracy Anderson….oy vey. I can’t even….won’t even start. Just stop typing Katie.

  24. I watch Girls. And I think, sadly, it is a somewhat accurate reflection of many young twenties lives, ie; mistake after mistake! Also: I am disappointed in the lack of talk around FITNESS. Perhaps Lena should be exercising, if she’s not, but not to get skinny – to get healthy. Its sad that people assume attractiveness is based on thinness – but its also sad when people are unhealthily overweight and then try to justify it by saying they are “real”. In “reality” if you’re overweight or obese, you are at higher risk of disease. Let’s not swing too far the other direction from a skinny obsession and advocate fatness …

  25. Twizzlers all the way!!

    Sometimes with fitness, like with diet (hello carbs vs. Paleo!), people need to chill out and accept that there is more than one way to get to a certain goal. I do low mileage half marathon training, and I know some other runners are skeptical of my training. But I got a PR at a half on Saturday so it’s working for me. And if high mileage works for other runners, good for them. Whatever keeps YOU happy, healthy, and working toward your goals.

  26. I’ve unfortunately tried helping a couple of friends and family members using my own experience in both the diet and workout areas. One out of five accepted my advice for what it was; a well-meant advice, and she thrived with it. I only advised her to try counting calories to be more aware of what she actually ate over the week, and she lost more than 12 kgs doing this. She said she loved me for it.

    About the rest of them; one actually yelled at me for believing that she’s incapable of eating healthy and that her self-composed workouts were less good than mine. She’s still overweight and miserable, my advice was given after one of her rants about being “fat and unfit”. Go figure.

    I’ve stopped talking to anyone about this unless they themselves ask me. As I’ve lost 35 kgs and kept them off – and gotten a lot more fit – some do ask. And then I share. Otherwise I let the ignorant be so on their own not involving myself one bit. It’s not very easy all the time when I see clearly small changes that would help a lot.

  27. If it’s crossfit then from what I have read lately, I think you were right to say something to your friend. There was an article on HuffPo recently on crossfit and many commenters wrote about the dangers that can result, as you have seen yourself firsthand.

    I believe it’s the same thing as what Tracey Anderson is doing. I’m tired of the fat shaming, too. I put on weight a few years ago after a car accident and my marriage ended, and all of a sudden everyone around me seemed to think it was their business to comment about my weight and appearance. I avoid family gatherings because they seem to be all about either how I should exercise and what I shouldn’t eat to lose weight (I do exercise, a lot, only after three years of diligently working out I believe I have hormonal imbalances (estrogen and cortisol, primarily, and my goal is to fix them), or about how someone else in the family lost a lot of weight (neglecting to realize that after a woman has a baby, it’s pretty typical to look thinner, or if one eats zero fat, one will lose weight but it’s not necessarily a healthy thing).

    I think you were right to try to help your friend avoid pain and injury (there are plenty of ways to work out successfully without hurting yourself), while Tracey Anderson was trying to tell Lena Dunham to look the way Anderson and society believes she should look. I would warn people about crossfit myself, from what I’ve read, and I’m a big believer in intense exercise, just not the kind that causes injury.

    • I meant to write “I believe it’s NOT the same thing as what Tracey Anderson is doing.” Oops!

    • I agree so much with your take on CrossFit (and truly your whole post). That’s the first thing that leapt to mind when I saw XXX, too. It’s just very hard to get people who are in the midst of an exercise routine that I have seen described several times as “cult-like” to see any down side to their obsession. I feel the same way about a paleo diet, or really any extreme version of diet or exercise. I understand the zeal of finding a workout you love, or a way of eating healthfully that works for you,but everything is not everybody else’s bag. I feel moderation is key, and CrossFit and the Tracy Anderson method do not seem very moderate in my eyes. One pushes you to be bigger and badder than anyone else, the other pushes you to be smaller and therefore somehow “good-er” than everyone else… I personally don’t want to be bigger or smaller or badder or better than anyone else. I just want 15-20 minutes away from the kids, a little bit of sweat and an exercise high. I don’t want to injure myself trying to prove anything because I have nothing to prove.

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