Running Scared: What Do You Do To Protect Yourself When You Workout? [Or: How do you deal with fear of the unknown??]

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Forget night swimming REM, night running has always been my favorite nocturnal sport. There’s just something about running through an unlit night, the inky blackness completely obliterating my body until I feel incorporeal. Dispossessed. Airborne. In the sense of flying, yes, but also that I feel born of air. I’m elegant in ways that I never can be in daylight. I’m light and quick through the dark, a sure-footed sprite.

That is until I trip over a tree root and face plant.

Oh and did I mention that I like to do my night running set to Orff’s “Carmina Burana” or Edvard Grieg’s Peer Gynt Suite? (Lie: It’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King”. Of course it is.) Very very loudly. And with no reflective gear, save the glow of my pale legs? And preferably in the mountains or the forest? It’s the closest I get to real magic.

It’s probably also the closest I get to really putting myself in danger too which is why I’ve not done it in years. And that’s a travesty because I used to love it.

The mountain lion is what killed it for me. (Not literally although that would make for a more exciting story! … And then I DIED.) In college, I used to run at night through the mountains, geekily imagining myself to be a wood nymph or whatever until a mountain lion started showing up on the trail. I’d never seen him but after he pounced on a couple of runners – nobody died thank heavens – signs began popping up all over the trail telling runners to steer clear, not run alone, wear a paper mask on the back of your head (seriously – it was something about cougars only attacking from behind so if you had a face on the back of your head you were safe?) etc. Not long after that a girl from another college went for a run in the foothills and never came home. At first it was thought to be a random kidnapping but after they found her body in a dumpster, it was discovered that she was murdered by her lying piece of work husband. Even though I knew cougar attacks were very rare and even though I wasn’t married to a murderer, it was still enough to put me off running alone at night for good.

But when we moved to Colorado, the mountains tempted me. So near to my home! So full of trails! So wildly beatiful! And so also a murder crime scene. We’d heard of the Jessica Ridgeway case last year all the way in Minnesota. It was national heartbreaking news. (You can read about it here, if you’re not familiar with the case. TL;DR: Sweet little girl kidnapped on her way to school, brutally murdered.) But I hadn’t realized that it had all happened so close to my new home until one day a friend and I went running through her memorial park. Turns out I can point to the place where they found her body from my front porch. Our neighbors remember the police tramping through their yard and dredging the nearby pond looking for her. Every time I think of it I start shaking. And a terrifying footnote to the case was that prior to abducting the 10-year-old girl, the killer had tried to grab a young woman running alone on a nearby trail. (She fought him off and escaped unharmed.) That kind of makes me want to throw up.

Now. I get it. Bad things happen everywhere. The teenage boy (being tried as an adult) who did this particular crime is safely locked up. It’s a one-off. It’s sad but it’s done. He can’t hurt me or my kids or anyone else here. And yet it still shook me. I feel things like this very deeply. Part of it was my own escape from my abusive ex-boyfriend who, if you recall, threatened to kill me in a very grisly manner. But it goes deeper than that. I don’t even remember the first time I learned that this world is a less safe place to live in if you’re a girl. Thanks to some early heartbreaking events in my childhood – which I won’t detail as they involve the abuse of someone very close to me and that is not my story to tell – I was disillusioned very young. And it’s been a lesson that’s stuck with me – above and beyond individual horror stories – in a very visceral way. It’s hard for me to feel safe. It’s very easy for me to feel unsafe. This hair-trigger panic – I know it’s annoying, both to me and to my friends. But maybe it serves a protective purpose? That’s the thing about dodged bullets – you rarely know how close they’ve passed you by. You only know if you get hit.

And yet there are so many possibilities on a night run, of which tragedy is only one. In the realm of danger I’m far more likely to be hurt by my own stupidity (see: tree roots, uneven pavement, untied laces). There’s the risk of getting hit by a car or dangerously dehydrated or lost or even of snapping your Achille’s tendon in a marathon, like my dad did. Oh and all the animals! So many ways to get hurt! And yet. The vast majority of us runners are just fine. It’s all about what you find an acceptable risk.

Me, I probably draw the line a little closer than most people would. (Come on, it’s me! Paranoia would be my stripper name!) But I have kids that need me to come home so risk is something I don’t indulge in much. These days I basically don’t run alone. If I do end up solo one morning I stick to busy roads in neighborhoods I know. I still listen to music (so I don’t have to listen to the sound of my own breathing!!) but I keep my volume down low. I take my cell phone. I plan for water. I stay on sidewalks and wear bright colors. I give dogs a wide berth. If I’m coming out of the gym, I keep my head up and pay attention in the parking lot. I take Krav Maga.

And I always run in daylight. Even though it doesn’t feel at all like flying.

What, if any, precautions do you guys take when you run or workout? Anyone else gotten overly spooked by a crime story? How do you balance risk in your workouts? And what’s your verdict: do you always run the same route so your loved ones always know where you are or do you always vary your route so that psychos can’t follow you? (I hate it when safety tips are mutually exclusive!!)

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35 Comments

  1. I think one of the cases that has overly spooked me is/was Elizabeth Smart. The same night she was abducted, so was a girl in my hometown (that ended happily for the girl, BTW). She was told, like Elizabeth Smart, that if she didn’t go with her abductor, they’d kill her family, so she went. I’m less than 2 years older than Elizabeth Smart, and my dad sat me down and told me that if anyone ever climbed in my window while I was sleeping (or otherwise made it to my room), and threatened me or my family to get me to go with them, to fight and scream, but no matter what, not go with them willingly. He said it would be better to be murdered in my bed than to have happen whatever they planned to do to me somewhere else. That’s been over 10 years, and I’m still paranoid about open windows at night (but much less so if my husband is home). In truth, I’m probably (ok, ok, no probably about it) overly paranoid-I blame my father. (‘Love that man, by the way.)
    Maybe something you could do is have several different routes that you use, and alternate them frequently. Then, you could just tell your family which route you’re running that day so they know where you are.
    Oh, and mountain lions are freakin’ terrifying! My town is in some hills, and every year they (the mountain lions, not the hills) are spotted on the college campus, on trails where people walk from student housing down to the main quad. Yikes!

    • A girl near my hometown was kidnapped the night Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped too. She was sleeping out on her trampoline. Her ordeal was horrible but she escaped, miraculously.

      My spooky life changing story was when I was 16, a girl near my home town was sleeping in her basement room and she left the blinds opened. When her family called her up for breakfast the next morning, they found that she had been shot through the window and killed.

      Now I NEVER leave my blinds open at night. The story also made me start praying more faithfully every night for protection.

      I say, stay safe Charlotte. Don’t ignore those instincts. Running alone at night is totally not on my list of things I must do. Even daytime running frightens me. After getting exposed by a man from an apartment complex on my way to school cured me of that.

  2. Walking the line between safety and “don’t let fear rule my life” is so very narrow…and for me, constantly changing. When I lived in the US, I ran solo often. I ran as often as I could in the daylight (or the early morning dark because, you know, bad people only come out at night???), but in upstate NY in the winter, there were far more hours of dark than daylight. So sometimes I did run after dark. I wore my reflective gear, and tried to choose routes that balanced “lots of people/cars around” with “not so many road crossings that I’ll get hit by a car”. [Because really, should I be more scared of distracted drivers, or really bad people? ]

    I’m spoiled now – I live in Singapore, which is an incredibly safe and late-night country. The paths are well-lit and populated long after dark. And although people pay with other kinds of freedom, the freedom to step out for a run after dark, and not even have my husband worry about me (much), is a beautiful thing that I have come to appreciate a great deal.

  3. Until I moved last month, I walked to work almost half a mile at 5am in the morning. At my new house, I now bike a bit more than a mile. I get a wide range of reactions to this from folks at the Y. Some of them are absolutely horrified and can’t believe I haven’t been murdered yet. Others feel sorry for anybody who tries to attack me. Me? I worry more about getting hit by drivers not paying attention. (I’m as visible as possible: blinking lights, neon yellow vest.)

  4. I’m not a runner, but if I were, I know what I’d do here – run with a dog. Obviously if you don’t have or want a dog this isn’t a solution for you, but for me I feel a lot safer out ‘alone’ at night with my border collie. When I was in high school I used to take walks in the park by my house at night with my 110 lb Chesapeake. There were a few times he was concerned about people, and all of those people decided to stay away. It’s not totally safe (heck, staying home isn’t either) but I think it makes a big difference.

  5. I have run frequently at night with no problems, but I always wear reflective gear, lights, and I go armed. The reflective gear I wear is a runners vest that I bought on Amazon, LED armbands (one on leg and one on arm nearest road), and now I have LED shoelaces. I wear a cheap headlamp that I bought in the camping section of Walmart to provide light since there are no street lights where I run. As far as weapons, I wear a knife on a lanyard around my neck (it’s short enough that I don’t need to carry my concealed weapons permit with me) and I clip my pepper spray onto my waistband. If I’m feeling particularly energetic or if my husband and I are running with our daughter, I will also take my heavy 3 D battery Maglite. Between all of that, no one who bothers me is going to come away unscathed and the reflective gear and lights ensure that I am lit up like a Christmas tree. In fact, I’ve asked friends that I see drive by to make sure they could see me. They always can see me well down the road. I might look crazy, but better crazy-looking than hit by a car. I also wear my phone on an armband, for communication purposes as well as for Runkeeper and my music.

    As for evil-doers along a night route? I think this is an uwarranted fear for most people. There is an extremely small chance that you are going to be bothered along your run unless you live in an extremely dangerous neighborhood or you know for a *fact* that there is a person along your route that has hurt people before, i.e. a violent criminal or announced sexual predator. Violent crime at it’s lowest point in four decades, there is no reason to run your route in fear. The bigger risk is that you will be hit by a vehicle, which you minimize with your reflective gear and lights. Also, the other danger for most people is stray dogs. There are a few in my neighborhood, but I have chased them off or pepper sprayed them enough times that they leave me alone. As to more dangerous animals like bears or mountain lions? I can’t really speak to that. I also tell my husband the route is going to run and what time I will return, so that he can come and find me if I don’t return home by the time I say I will and don’t text to tell him why I am late.

  6. I regularly run in my neighborhood in the morning darkness, but I feel very safe. There’s lots of street lamps, the random dog walker or person leaving for work…. you get the idea. I also run in the middle of the night when I have insomnia. Again, you would be surprised how many people are still up in my neighborhood at 2am! I have always felt safe.

    The only other places I have run in the dark (not in a race) are on the Appalachian Trail- but with 4+ other people. We take flashlights and it is a lot of fun. We don’t have mountain lions in PA, but I am SUPER afraid of snakes! Luckily, for us much as I run on the trail, I rarely ever see a snake.

    I would never, ever run on a trail alone at night. Though you could argue that it would be more dangerous during the day (when more crazies are out!).

  7. I have a bright running jacket with reflecty bits and usually put just one earbud in when I run alone. After driving home late and realizing how many runners cannot be easily seen I try and be visible. I usually do early in the morning when I do run, and I figure for the most part noone will be up that early. Maybe it’s naive, but I am lucky enough to live in a city where as long as you are aware of your surroundings you’re OK. I trust my instincts…

  8. I used to run very early in the morning, in the dark, through my Palm Springs neighborhood. One morning, after running through a little side street in a nice area of the town, I suddenly heard footsteps running behind me. A man wearing jeans, so obviously not a runner, caught up with me and threw me to the ground. He started pulling at my clothes. He did not have a weapon, so I fought back (silently thanking the boys that I used to wrestle with when I was young). I managed to wrest myself out of his grip (thankfully he never thought of punching me apparently), and I ran as fast as I could away from him. It was so early that there was no traffic on the road, though one car drove by and probably was scared to death by the crazy woman waving wildly at them running down the middle of the road because they did not stop to help. I was able to get to the next corner, where I felt myself running out of breath so I threw myself into some bushes and hid there until I could breathe again and I was sure that he was not behind me.

    As you can imagine, this affected more than just my running in the dark. It was years before I could even walk to my car at night without all the panic symptoms raging like wildfire. I stopped running altogether for a while, then slowly started back, first by running laps at the local track where I could see everything around me all the time. When I started running with my now-husband, we did run early in the morning, but even though he was with me I always carried pepper spray.

    Now, more than 20 years since it happened, I will run around my neighborhood with my dog early in the morning, but always on the alert and never really comfortable about it.

    Oh, and I’ve tripped over an uneven sidewalk or two in my time and have the scars on my knees to prove it. Seems kind of minor though.

    Sorry for the ramble. Safety in the dark stories always get me going 🙂

  9. I spent 18 1/2 years working in the court system and I was constantly amazed at the depths to which human beings can and will sink. It made me very paranoid for my family and especially my children. We do what we can to limit our risks but our lives and the lives of our loved ones are truly in the Lord’s hands.

  10. Take Aikido 🙂 Or Read Angry White Pajamas and THEN take Aikido 😉

  11. I don’t run in the dark simply because my feet tend to find uneven surfaces and trip or roll ankles. I’m way more afraid of that then anything else. I’ll start a run that ends very dusky, or start a run just as the sun is coming up, but I feel like the only time I would run at night would be a lit track.

    To be safe, I either run with my husband or if we are not running together, I’ll tell him my planned route and approximate time back. I don’t generally carry my phone or anything else, but I also don’t go very far from home (I’m the master of the many loop course :D).

  12. I never really considered running alone to be a safety issue until I completely passed out during a small race put on by the conference I was attending. I was in another city, across the country from my home, had no ID, no cell phone, and I had amnesia for a few hours in the hospital afterward (I knew my name, but I couldn’t tell you my phone number let alone contact information for anyone else). That incident turned out okay in the end, but it made me think more about running alone – especially since I was logging lots of miles training for a marathon.

    But as far as being “scared” more in line with your post, I’ve had that as well. When I was marathon training I would run in the morning before work and the mornings in the fall were pretty dark when I would start my runs. I didn’t think much of it until there was a series of gropings of female runners along one of the popular city trails which, of course, was my typical route. Some homeless guy was hanging out along the river banks waiting to grab girls who were running alone – even at times when there were other runners on the trail, both in daylight and early in the morning. That sort of freaked me out, even though there were usually enough people on the route that I didn’t really feel alone. I did see the guy once, and he lunged after a group of 2 or 3 female runners who were ahead of me. That had my heart rate up.

    That year there were also a few female bodies found in the park where I did my long runs and, though it had been determined that the women had been murdered in a different part of the city and just dumped in the park, it was very disconcerting. The couple of times I found myself out that way around dusk I remember running in fear (break neck pace) once I realized how desolate it was and how far from the bustling city streets I was.

    Now I live in the suburbs and drivers here are extremely inconsiderate of pedestrians and there aren’t enough street lights to illuminate the sidewalks, so I am very wary of running alone at night for fear of being hit by a car. So really, from every angle except large predatory animals, I’ve had some fear of running alone and yes, I do let it dictate my running routine.

  13. Disclaimer: I’m saying this from a very privileged position since I’ve never been attacked on a run.

    My take on running in the dark: if I let just the thought of a murderer scare me away from something I would otherwise do, then in many ways, the murderer has already won. I refuse to let the most violent and horrible people in the world determine where I can go and when.

    This means that sometimes I force myself to do things that scare the living daylights out of me. Not that I seek these things out, but I refuse to let myself avoid them either. Sketchy greyhound stations at 2am if that’s the most convenient time for a bus, midnight runs if that’s when I have time to work out, etc. I used to work openers at Starbucks and had to bike (don’t own a car) to work at 4:15am for a 4:30 shift. Sometimes I have to be really harsh and even cruel with myself to fight down the urge to run and hide.

    I totally do not judge people who would rather avoid the fear, and I 100% blame the violent criminals causing the fear instead of anyone just trying to not get murdered. I have a lot of resources (e.g. I’m white and thus more likely to be helped by the police) that not everyone has. But personally, I choose to ignore my fear in defiance of all the murderers, rapists, etc. who want to use it to control me.

  14. “What, if any, precautions do you guys take when you run or workout?”
    Being a guy would be number one, I guess.

    “I wasn’t married to a murderer”
    Nobody ever is (Yes, some people actually are, I know that, but that isn’t the point).

    “. . . this world is a less safe place to live in if you’re a girl.”
    Sam Colt made girls equal; more or less. Get a light carbine with a secure and comfortable sling. Take lessons on how to use it while you’re waiting for your CCW permit to come through.

    Read http://www.corneredcat.com/ from begining to end.

  15. Yiiiiiiiikes. I wasn’t ALL that freaked out until I started reading the comments!

    Where I grew up, I used to run or walk in the dark, but always on fairly populated roads, and we lived in a VERY low-crime community. Now I live in a more urban area, and frankly you couldn’t pay me to run/walk in the dark here. Not even in the early morning (which does seem safer than in the evening, somehow). Even during the day, I run/walk with one earbud in (never two), and if I had a big dog, I’d totally go with a dog.

    • I don’t understand the current fashion for women (particularly young, frail women) to own the rats they call dogs. A properly trained German Shepard can be a girl’s very bestest friend when the shit hits the fan.

  16. I’m echoing Elizabeth’s opening sentence.

    RoadID now has a great app that live tracks you during a run. You can set it up to text a friend or family member when you head out and sends “ecrumbs” and has a “stationary alert” as well. http://www.roadid.com/ecrumb — Not a paid endorsement, and I haven’t used the app yet, but as a RoadID bracelet wearer I got a notice when the app went live.

  17. The story of Sherry Arnold is the one that put me over the edge. She was running in her small, quite town in Montana one morning and disappeared.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/22/sherry-arnold-update_n_1372415.html

    Maybe it hit home harder than other stories because I was already following her cousin’s blog at the time, so it almost felt like an acquaintance had been murdered.

    Since then, I’ve only run outside alone a few times when I used to go running alone (in the daylight only) a few times per week. The few times I have gone, I’ve told me husband exactly where I was going, approximately how long I’d be gone and then called him on my way home so he knew I was safe.

    Up until Ragnar Relay this weekend, I had never run alone at night. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out going into it and I’m thankful that team vans, Ragnar staff and other runners were always in sight. But, it also makes me sad because that night run was the most rejuvenating, peaceful, wonderful run I’ve had in over a year…it made me remember why I ever fell in love with running. I just wish the world were a safer place so I could experience that more often without fear.

  18. I’m kind of the opposite of you. I’ve gone on an 18 mile run starting at midnight. I usually run alone and rarely carry my phone. I’ve swum in a lake, alone, just me and the seagulls. I kind of feel like my odds of getting hurt are higher when I’m driving in daylight than they are running at night or swimming alone. Hopefully it doesn’t come back to bite me later, but I guess I’ll just play the odds and the hand I’m dealt. That said, I don’t have kids or any real problems that would arise if I got murdered.

    My husband usually doesn’t know where I’m going to run specifically, though I do stick to the same old routes for the most part. When I was running at night a lot I tried to vary the time or direction, if not the route, to thwart the psychos. But really, I just don’t think about it too much.

    There was only one night run I’ve been on that I was kinda scared. I wrote about it here: http://tyruns.blogspot.com/2012/08/twas-dark-and-stormy-night.html There was no real reason for it, I was just spooked!

  19. I remember watching a show that said people could rent large dogs in major metropolitan areas to use while running. I tried to look up a website and only found this http://www.examiner.com/article/rent-a-dog before things like “rent a dog for sex” popped up and I figured I had better quit looking.

    I wouldn’t run alone at night. If I did, would I get murdered or eaten by a mountain lion? Probably not. But eventually coming in contact with someone I didn’t want to is certainly a possibility and I would rather not risk it.

    And since we are sharing kidnapping stories – I am now married to the kindergarten walking buddy of Timmy White (who was abducted while walking home from school) by Kenneth Parnell in 1980. He was rescued by Steven Stayner, who had also been held captive by Parnell for 8 years. It doesn’t really freak me out, though. Except once when my hubby and I were flipping through the channels on a Saturday afternoon and found “I know my first name is Steven,” about the abduction. It is very weird to see your spouse portrayed in a made for TV movie. I do let my children play outside in the neighborhood and ride their bikes or walk to a friend’s house. Although I keep a closer eye on them than was the norm in my childhood (i.e. be home before dark) I don’t hover over them in constant fear. That would mess them up for sure.

  20. I feel safe when I have my Doberman with me. He looks mean, which is pretty off-putting.

  21. jen already left my comment re: roadid’s new app. I know people who cycle who have used it. in general, I would highly recommend a roadid anyway.

    as for me, as an athlete, I understand there is inherent risk in everything I do. I ride a bike; therefore, I run the risk of crashing. I’ve now done so relatively badly twice in two years (really badly last year; this year, just screwed up my elbow a little). I ride on roads; I run the risk of being hit by a car (hasn’t happened yet, thankfully, but I’ve heard plenty of stories). I do my part to stay as safe as possible which includes following the proper rules of the road.

    I also believe in awareness. I know the ipod debate is one of the most contentious (and I don’t want to start it), but I choose not to wear one for my own personal thoughts on safety. I thought I couldn’t run without my ipod until it died and I couldn’t afford to replace it. at that point, I learned to listen to my own body, my own rhythm; learned to get inside my own head space and yet still be hyper-aware of my own surroundings. I like being able to hear the echoes of my own footsteps on the trail/road.

    I don’t typically run/ride at night if I can help it; if I need to ride when it’s dark, i’d rather be inside, on the trainer. as for running, I’ve run in the dark. I don’t like to do it often, but when I do, I stick to familiar neighborhoods and stick to shorter loops. I also typically am in a more heightened state of awareness when running at night just on principle, so i’m constantly scanning my surroundings and listening to my gut to see if it tells me something is wrong.

  22. From a lurker…I do a lot of trail running, mainly in the mountains. I would NEVER go on my own though and I always take my two big scary-looking dogs (they are actually quite harmless and they LOVE to run) and my pepper spray. I also always tell someone where I’m going and what time to expect me back. I’ve never had any problems and the only scary creatures we’ve encountered are snakes and sometimes other dogs with their owners. When people see my dogs they usually give us a wide berth.

  23. I run at sunrise so it is light.. not headphones either.. can’t tell you how many people I have come up o that never knew I was there & I also am always looking around.. 🙂

  24. I take my Rottweiler/German Shepard mix with me when I run at night. In my neighborhood I usually see quite a few people walking dogs, bike riding, etc. out pretty late at night.

    Obviously this isn’t for everyone, but one of my cousins and several of her friends have concealed carry permits and run with their guns anytime they run alone (day or night).

    • Guns? Wow. That’s pretty full on for a stroll.

      • That is simple physical equalization. I would also note that as things that go bump in the night rarely call ahead for an appointment, your ability to defend yourself should be a constant. If you have a carryable weapon then carrying it should be the default. Not carrying it is the thing you would have to think about and justify.

        If you have the idea of owning a gun to just keep it unloaded in a safe, as is a common recommendation, you probably shouldn’t even bother. You’re just going to end up trying to figure out how to defend yourself with the safe. The gun itself will be useless.

        The cynic might think that’s the very idea behind the common recommendation.

  25. I think I just scared myself silly reading this post and the comments. I’ve never had anything scary happen to me. I sometimes run at night and I almost always run alone. When I run in my neighborhood, I stay off the trails and stay on the sidewalk. If I run around the lake downtown (which is always busy) I text my husband when I start and finish. I always let him know my intended route and we can GPS each other. I live in an active city, in a “safe” neighborhood and I usually see others running or biking. So far the most dangerous thing to happen to me is falling of uneven sidewalks (in the daylight).

    My husband has had three different incidences of meeting bears while trail running. I think if that happened to me I’d become better friends with my treadmill.

  26. Fear of the “what ifs” has always hindered my freedom. I used to justify my paranoid tendencies by terms like “survival of the fittest”, but that mindset can lead to a very boring existence. In the end, we must find balance. A Balance between being wise versus foolish, cautious verses paranoid, aware versus over-analytical, etc. Unfortunately, as a woman in my late 20s, this is a Balance I am still fighting to obtain.

  27. The likelihood of violence on the trail is very small, especially compared to the risk of traffic. but there are things that you can do to reduce the risk from both. wear bright colors, and reflective bits, blinking lights are even more effective. I run with my dog, who also wears a blinking collar. when I run on trails I carry a small pepper spray with me.
    Its also a good idea to look into something like RoadID which is a bracelet that is engraved with your pertinent info, emergency contact info, allergies, and blood type. just incase the worst happens.
    happy runs

  28. In university I participated in many plays and musicals (and even two operas!)

    Once I was in THE KING AND I…playing one of four of the King’s bodyguards.

    A friend of mine was in the audience. She excitedly pointed me out to her guy friends who came with her…and they shocked her by commenting that they would not want to meet me…at night…anywhere…or anywhere where it may sometime become dark.

    She laughed out loud…because she looked at me and saw “marshmallow-softy non-threatening-favorite friend”.

    Being fairly large and muscular (210 lbs) helps…but apparently I also have a “look”…which has been interpreted by many to mean: “I will kill you with two fingers if you give me an excuse!”

    When really…what it mostly means is…I am thinking.

    Just thinking.

    Or that I forgot my glasses.

    Or thinking about where I may have forgotten my glasses.

    I would run at night also. Running at night is SO much more…amazing!

    Anywho…

    One such night I encounter some unsavory looking types…but I give them the benefit of the doubt…until they start talking tough and rolling up on me.

    I sigh…

    …and give them my best “forgot-my-glasses” stare (when they are close enough to appreciate it in the dark).

    Mid-sentence…they turn and leave.

    A few blocks later…I encounter a young lady walking alone…luxuriating in the beauty and wonder of the night.

    And my mind turns to those farther behind who would…at the least…taint this night for her…

    …and at the worst?

    She looks my direction…and smiles a huge smile!

    I don’t even know her…and already she is thinking “marshmallow-softy”.

    I say…”You are right! I will not hurt you. But there are those who very well might. And some are not that far away. And you never know when or where they will be…in the night. Please don’t walk alone at night anymore!”

    She declined my offer to walk her home.

    I think she was upset with me for pointing out harsh reality…that she may not be able to safely claim “her” nights anymore.

    It broke my heart…

    …but it broke hers more.