Admit it, you’ve ridden the Pinterest roller coaster: It starts with the high of finding the perfect little black dress, quickly followed by the decision to find the perfect workout to make you look hot in said dress, then comes the mania of looking through 11,230 fitness pinboards, followed by the low of desperation when you realize that you’ll never look like the girls in the thinspiration – quick cut away to check out something sparkly and or delicious, whoa squirrel! – then resignation as you look for a different perfect LBD. By the time your ride has ended, hours have passed in a blur and while you’ve pinned enough projects to make your own cable channel, in reality you’ve done nothing but check your cabinet to see if a jar of saffron has magically appeared in it so you can make that paella recipe all your friends pinned. (And if you’re me, you’ll just substitute a bunch of random ingredients for the ones you don’t have until your paella turns into banana bread. With chorizo.)
A recent Today survey found that 42% of women experience “Pinterest stress” also known as that nagging feeling that everyone else is prettier, smarter, funnier and craftier than you – and they’re all having a party without you. And hey, I’ve been there. But life’s too short to spend it weeping over a cake that looks more like poo than Pooh Bear. Instead, I have a list of my personal faves when it comes to the weird, funny and nonsensical pins. Your only project here is to laugh. A lot. (Happy Friday!)
Oh the bloating! If only it were as simple as the arrival of the crimson crusaders! But my stomach can go from flat to 4-months pregnant over the course of a day. Now if only I could make monkey bread out of those biscuits we’d be set.
SO much happening in this abtastic “fitspiration” photo. I’m not sure if she’s checking out her own abs and got stymied by all the boobs in the way or just so drunk that she forgot how to button her own pants. Either way I’d need to sit down too. Her life is tough.
Um, have these people ever seen a new baby? Nobody wants to look like that. Not even babies. Does yoga have a Cone Head pose?
Some say that if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. I say if you want to be happy then watch pretty birds drinking nectar. Thankfully with this Hummingbird helmet you can safely accomplish both! Happiness: Done!
It’s funny ’cause I usually say the opposite. “Oh yeah Gym Buddies, I’m not crying, it’s just all the sweat running down my face!” See also: “I didn’t pee my pants, it’s just a lot of crotch sweat!” and “My bellybutton’s not leaking, it’s just stomach sweat!” I mean of all the things you could be doing in a gym, sweating is the least embarrassing, frankly. Sweat-T
You know what Dog’s Butter is? It’s not butter made out of pureed dogs. sicko. It’s peanut butter for dogs. But when you read the ingredient list, it’s actually the exact same as human peanut butter. Except way more expensive. And I love how they even kept the jar the same so you can still laugh when Fido gets his head stuck in it!
The Hydration Bra: for those of you who thought the CamelBak made you look too much like an actual camel. Plus, how many times have you wished you could wear your water-push-up bra to the gym? Now you have a legit reason! Just don’t put milk in that thing.
True story: when I was a kid I used to eat lip balm. Sure it was waxy but it tasted vaguely like… whatever, and that was good enough for this sweet tooth. But now they have Chapstick Cake Batter?! I got super excited until I remembered I’m a grown up and can eat actual cake batter if I want it. Remember kids, if it’s “calorie free” it’s not a treat, it’s just a tease!
Boobs. Yes, please.
I so wish I’d thought of this Tampon finger puppet and caption first but how could I mess with perfection: “Crazy Aunt Flow sure was crafty, but her gifts always came with a string attached.” Also: don’t trust her when she offers to “pull some strings” to get you a new job.
His eyes, they see into your soul! Plus this Meat baby is every low-carb’ers dream! Or nightmare. Whatev. (You may have seen this pic before but now, thanks to Pinterest, you have the actual recipe! You’re welcome!)
Team pie? Team cake? Who cares with this “Cherpumple” pie cake made up of cherry pie in chocolate cake, pumpkin pie in spice cake and apple pie in vanilla cake – all topped with frosting and sprinkles! This is why the Internet was invented, folks.
Actually, I think weak knees might be kind of a problem. Take off those fish nets and get your man into the gym stat to work on some squats and lunges! Because remember ladies: We workout to look hot, he works out to get strong (and look at us).
Aggh! This. Just. No words. Baby arms coat rack
And lastly, I’ll send you off with The Cookie Dough Wars as presented to you by Pinterest. The funny part is the conversation underneath the picture because, be honest, this is exactly how 90% of food conversations go down on Facebook/Pinterest. My favorite part is where crap starts to get personal! “@marlee YOLO. False. You live every day. You only die once.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, back to discussing whether or not raw flour has e-coli in it…
Aaaand because I know someone will ask for the recipe: Here you go.
Anyone else a Pinterest addict? Have a fun, funny or just interesting pin to share with me? Which one on my list do you love (or love to hate)??