When Pinspiration Goes Bad: The weirdest, funniest and just-might-work-iest healthy pins

by Charlotte on May 10, 2013 · 19 comments

Admit it, you’ve ridden the Pinterest roller coaster: It starts with the high of finding the perfect little black dress, quickly followed by the decision to find the perfect workout to make you look hot in said dress, then comes the mania of looking through 11,230 fitness pinboards, followed by the low of desperation when you realize that you’ll never look like the girls in the thinspiration – quick cut away to check out something sparkly and or delicious, whoa squirrel! – then resignation as you look for a different perfect LBD. By the time your ride has ended, hours have passed in a blur and while you’ve pinned enough projects to make your own cable channel, in reality you’ve done nothing but check your cabinet to see if a jar of saffron has magically appeared in it so you can make that paella recipe all your friends pinned. (And if you’re me, you’ll just substitute a bunch of random ingredients for the ones you don’t have until your paella turns into banana bread. With chorizo.)

A recent Today survey found that 42% of women experience “Pinterest stress” also known as that nagging feeling that everyone else is prettier, smarter, funnier and craftier than you – and they’re all having a party without you. And hey, I’ve been there. But life’s too short to spend it weeping over a cake that looks more like poo than Pooh Bear. Instead, I have a list of my personal faves when it comes to the weird, funny and nonsensical pins. Your only project here is to laugh. A lot. (Happy Friday!)

biscuits

Oh the bloating! If only it were as simple as the arrival of the crimson crusaders! But my stomach can go from flat to 4-months pregnant over the course of a day. Now if only I could make monkey bread out of those biscuits we’d be set.

abs

SO much happening in this abtastic “fitspiration” photo. I’m not sure if she’s checking out her own abs and got stymied by all the boobs in the way or just so drunk that she forgot how to button her own pants. Either way I’d need to sit down too. Her life is tough.

newperson

Um, have these people ever seen a new baby? Nobody wants to look like that. Not even babies. Does yoga have a Cone Head pose?

hummingbirdhelmet

Some say that if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. I say if you want to be happy then watch pretty birds drinking nectar. Thankfully with this Hummingbird helmet you can safely accomplish both! Happiness: Done!

sweattee

It’s funny ’cause I usually say the opposite. “Oh yeah Gym Buddies, I’m not crying, it’s just all the sweat running down my face!” See also: “I didn’t pee my pants, it’s just a lot of crotch sweat!” and “My bellybutton’s not leaking, it’s just stomach sweat!” I mean of all the things you could be doing in a gym, sweating is the least embarrassing, frankly. Sweat-T

dogsbutter

You know what Dog’s Butter is? It’s not butter made out of pureed dogs. sicko. It’s peanut butter for dogs. But when you read the ingredient list, it’s actually the exact same as human peanut butter. Except way more expensive. And I love how they even kept the jar the same so you can still laugh when Fido gets his head stuck in it!

hydratebra

The Hydration Bra: for those of you who thought the CamelBak made you look too much like an actual camel. Plus, how many times have you wished you could wear your water-push-up bra to the gym? Now you have a legit reason! Just don’t put milk in that thing.

chapstick

True story: when I was a kid I used to eat lip balm. Sure it was waxy but it tasted vaguely like… whatever, and that was good enough for this sweet tooth. But now they have Chapstick Cake Batter?! I got super excited until I remembered I’m a grown up and can eat actual cake batter if I want it. Remember kids, if it’s “calorie free” it’s not a treat, it’s just a tease!

boobs

Boobs. Yes, please.

tampon

I so wish I’d thought of this Tampon finger puppet and caption first but how could I mess with perfection: “Crazy Aunt Flow sure was crafty, but her gifts always came with a string attached.” Also: don’t trust her when she offers to “pull some strings” to get you a new job.

meatbaby

His eyes, they see into your soul! Plus this Meat baby is every low-carb’ers dream! Or nightmare. Whatev. (You may have seen this pic before but now, thanks to Pinterest, you have the actual recipe! You’re welcome!)

cakepie

Team pie? Team cake? Who cares with this “Cherpumple” pie cake made up of cherry pie in chocolate cake, pumpkin pie in spice cake and apple pie in vanilla cake – all topped with frosting and sprinkles! This is why the Internet was invented, folks.

weakknees

Actually, I think weak knees might be kind of a problem. Take off those fish nets and get your man into the gym stat to work on some squats and lunges! Because remember ladies: We workout to look hot, he works out to get strong (and look at us).

babyarms

Aggh! This. Just. No words. Baby arms coat rack

And lastly, I’ll send you off with The Cookie Dough Wars as presented to you by Pinterest. The funny part is the conversation underneath the picture because, be honest, this is exactly how 90% of food conversations go down on Facebook/Pinterest. My favorite part is where crap starts to get personal! “@marlee YOLO. False. You live every day. You only die once.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, back to discussing whether or not raw flour has e-coli in it…

cookiedoughAaaand because I know someone will ask for the recipe: Here you go.

Anyone else a Pinterest addict? Have a fun, funny or just interesting pin to share with me? Which one on my list do you love (or love to hate)??

 

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Redhead May 10, 2013 at 5:30 am

I do love me some Pinterest. But in that first photo… Is it just me, or do her abs look like she had a creased piece of paper on top of them?
One of my favorite pins is a photo of one of the stand up comics who’s always on comedy central with the caption, “Before Drake started saying YOLO, did y’all suckers think you could live twice or something?”
Ahh Pinterest. It is nice sometimes for finding new recipes, but the amount of people pinning wedding dresses and kid clothes under “some day” type boards can be a bit staggering sometimes.

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Naomi/Dragonmamma May 10, 2013 at 6:19 am

I’ve never done Pinterest, but I’m a weirdo who still doesn’t own a cell phone either.

Another option about the woman in the jeans: She gained weight and can’t zip up her pants. That’s her fat photo.

Variation on the t-shirt motto: “It’s not sweat, it’s my fat cells crying as they die.”

Hydration bra: I think this idea could boomerang: The more you drink the smaller your boobs get, so most women will just let themselves get dehydrated.

The raw egg debate: I eat raw puddings with egg in them on a regular basis. Hasn’t made me sick yet.

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Abby May 10, 2013 at 7:06 am

I have never pinnned and I don’t have a smartphone. Can we still be friends?

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Victoria May 10, 2013 at 7:29 am

I don’t do pintrest, but I did make a Cherpumple – from scratch – 2.5 years ago, which is before pintrest was even a thing:

http://districtchocoholic.blogspot.com/2010/11/cherpumple-part-1-exercise-of-epic.html
http://districtchocoholic.blogspot.com/2010/11/cherpumple-part-2-completing-ultimate.html

It was more like an engineering/construction project than a baking project. Totally fun.

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Alexis May 10, 2013 at 7:44 am

Totally love pinterest. The shoe image collections you come across are amazing. Most useful blogs I now follow were first seen on pinterest.

Nice post.

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Amanda May 10, 2013 at 9:04 am

I used to be addicted to pinterest (especially when I was planning my wedding) but then I just started to find it boring. I felt like it was the same pictures over and over.

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Shannan May 10, 2013 at 9:23 am

Funny, I really don’t have Pinterest fatigue at all. Probably because I already know what I’m good at and what I could never recreate like baked goods or kids birthday parties.

Here is my main comment – don’t you just LAUGH OUT LOUD when you see the “workouts” on Pinterest that say things like “do this 4 times a week and you’ll have this skinny body” or “stomach flattening workout” or “dream legs workout” and all of these are accompanied by pictures of 18-22 year olds with 15%body fat. I almost always comment with – “you only have a shot at this body if you consume 1200 calories a day and invent a time machine to go back to 18 years old”

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Rowena May 10, 2013 at 9:32 am

I’ve looked at Pinterest a few times but got bored quick. I just don’t get it, I guess I’m not a visual kind of person

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Leth May 13, 2013 at 8:12 am

I’m that same way. I think it’s a cool idea, but I lose interest really quickly in it.

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Alyssa (azusmom) May 10, 2013 at 11:53 am

I joined Pinterest, but I haven’t been back since. I guess it’s like the gym membership equivalent of Pinterest. I’m more of a “Daily Squee” type o’ gal.
It continues to amaze me how the comments on EVERYTHING turn into personal insults! Seriously? We have to insult the guy who put up the “Star Trek” video?!?!?! Because it wasn’t the extended trailer, we need to call his mom nasty names?
People are so weird.

But that cake/pie thingy looks AMAZING! :)

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Kristen May 10, 2013 at 12:40 pm

Haha! My favorite is definitely about where to put the fat…boobs work for me too. The best post I ever saw was Pintrest fails–check it out: http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-pinterest-fails/

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Delle May 10, 2013 at 3:10 pm

I’ve never used Pinterest either. Or Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Tumblr. I spend about 1-1.5 hours a day online visiting my half dozen sites I read daily.

I also do not watch tv (other than football games in the fall). And I am busy being single and I do not have kids or pets.

….for some reason I was proud of myself for about 14 seconds for not mindlessly wasting so much of my day on inane pursuits such as, say, following celebrity nonsense on Twitter like a few people do, but then it occured to me that with all this free time I’ve got from no kids and no tv and no social media addiction I should have cured cancer or something by now…or at the least know 8 languages and have read the complete works of Shakespeare….

Oh well! *decides not to waste any of her free time on feeling guilty and goes back to reading Harry Potter for the rest of the evening*

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Cori May 10, 2013 at 5:53 pm

I use pinterest basically as a food porn website. I only look at it when I really really want bad food but don’t know what I want exactly.

It usually leads to bad decisions…

And I have enjoyed looking at it for wedding stuff. I now have a whole bunch of photos pinned…What I’m actually going to use them for…well that is another thing…But at least it was fun looking right? haha

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Shari Hunter May 10, 2013 at 7:32 pm

The best pin I ever saw, I found a couple of days ago. It is a link to a recipe.
Here is the recipe link http://www.food.com/recipe/ice-cubes-420398
The recipe is hilarious in and of itself, but read the comments. I couln’d t stop laughing!

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Jody - Fit at 55 May 11, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Honest – I pin stuff but I hardly ever go back or look at others ONLY BECAUSE I have so little time with trying to catch up with FF & everything else! ;) Reading this – I may stay away even more! :)

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GiGi Eats Celebrities May 12, 2013 at 7:27 pm

I have definitely seen the “hydration bra” before… However, I have seen it used more as… a BEER HOLDER than anything else! AH HA HA! It’s a good way to sneak in booze when they’re not permitted – lol

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Jess May 12, 2013 at 11:18 pm

That baby arms and legs rack is so creepy!!!! Hilarious post!

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Colleen May 17, 2013 at 11:50 pm

I found your blog from some top fitness blogs site. I kept re-clicking on it because I thought I hadn’t looked at it yet since I couldn’t find it in my open tabs… then I realized that yours was the meat baby tab I’ve had open for three straight days and can’t bring myself to change the page. That and the cake pie… this might be one of my favorite blog posts of all time.

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