Gym Smackdown: The Fight Over the Floor Fan [A Day in the Life of an HSP]

sensitiveSee?? I told you it was a superpower!

Setting down my gym bag in preparation to “shake and shimmy, baby”, “get my strut on” and “shake what my mama [obviously forgot to] gave me” in Zumba the other day, I noticed one of the floor fans in the studio was turned in my direction. So I did what I usually do when that happens and bumped it with my foot, angling it away from me. No biggie.

But as I walked back to my place to ask Allison how she was going to shake her thang when we worked all our thangs to maximum soreness on the weight floor the previous day (wow, that came out sounding way worse than I intended), I felt it.

A breeze.

Looking back at the fan, I saw it was pointing directly at me again. The pretty Latina woman standing next to me (who, incidentally, is so amazing at Zumba that she makes me feel like a kindergartner doing the Maypole dance while holding scissors) smiled at me as her hair billowed in the artificial wind. 

I smiled back, trying not to grit my teeth and look like a psycho. Okay, I told myself. It’s okay. You can deal with this. It’s just a fan. Just ignore it. You’ve worked out with fans before. You can do this. Stop clenching your jaw! You look psycho! STOP LOOKING PSYCHO! No, no that smile makes it WORSE. You look like you want to eat her liver while dressed in a dinner jacket of her skin! Quick, do a handstand or pee your pants or something to distract everyone from what a nutjob you are!!

I tried to take my own advice but during the warm up all I could think about was that stupid fan. So as soon as the instructor gave us a water break, I went up to my bag and pretended to look for my water bottle (which is non-existent since I basically don’t drink water when I’m working out. I know I’m working on it!) and bumped the fan 20 degrees to the left again.

The woman was not fooled by my subterfuge. As soon as I stood up she gave me an angry face and made the universal hand sign for “Turn my wind machine back on before I lose my Beyonce and get all Brittney on your hiney!” (In case you’re curious, it looks very close to the hand sign for “stop asking me for marshmallows before dinner while I’m talking on the phone”.) I grudgingly turned the fan back towards her, and consequently me.

I made it through 30 seconds of cumbia-ing before giving up and forcing Allison to switch places with me by doing a do-si-do. (To Pitbull. It was every bit as awkward as it sounds.) But finally I was safe from the evil breeze! My skin and I could safely relax and I could merengue to my heart’s content. Which lasted about 20 seconds since I suck at the merengue. I thought all was well and good until I saw Zumba Beyonce glaring at me in the mirror. It occurred to me that she thought we were having a fight, an aerobic smackdown if you will. (Which in Zumba absolutely must manifest as the Sharks vs Jets scene out of West Side Story or there is nothing right in the world.) Sigh. How do I explain to her that I hadn’t tango-ed away from her because I was mad or angry or jealous or one of those ultra territorial aerobicizers?? The truth is, it had nothing to do with her: I moved because I cannot stand fans.

Fans are my kryptonite.

I hate the feel of wind on my skin. I hate a breeze in my face. I hate feeling air whipping through my hair. I get head to toe goosebumps no matter what the temperature. Outdoor wind is bad enough but fans are the worst. Because fans are incessant. Once one is aimed at you, it will not leave you alone until you are a bleary-eyed dried-out husk in Spandex (think Courtney Love at an ACE convention). And this is a huge issue for me because in fitness sweaty people are all about their ventilation systems. Myself, I’d rather be sweltering hot and pouring sweat than have to endure a “cooling” breeze. But I’m definitely the minority in this situation and because I know I’m the weirdo, I generally try and be as polite and low drama about it as I can muster.  Which is why during the next water break I marched myself over to Zumba Beyonce and apologized for messing with the fan and told her it was just one of my many charming quirks. She smiled and said it was no problem.

Except for me it still was. My real problem with fans – and with anything incessantly stimulating like background music at restaurants, blinking lights at amusement parks, my children’s chirpy voices or Amanda Bynes’ Twitter feed – is that I can’t tune it out. CAN’T. For whatever reason, I was born without whatever gene it is that makes it possible to listen to a conversation at a piano bar. I can’t not feel the breeze of the fan. I can’t not hear the droning whir. I can’t not see the spinning blades. I cannot tune it out. And it’s not just physical stuff. I’m overly sensitive to other people’s feelings, to my own moods, even to people on TV. (It’s why I can’t watch horror movies or do haunted houses – even though I know they’re fake, I have such a visceral reaction to other people’s suffering that I will feel sick about it for weeks after.) I have a very hard time tuning anything out, at least for very long.

It’s because I am, as they call us now, an HSP or “highly sensitive person.” I first discovered the term a couple of years ago when my sister sent me an article about it saying “huh, this sounds exactly like you!” From there I went on to read “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Dr. Elaine Aron which turned out to be a game changer for me. Up until that point I always knew I was weird but I never knew there was a name for my weird! For as long as I’ve been able to express it, I’ve been telling people that I feel like I’m walking around with my skin on the wrong way out. And now I know why. I also know that I’m not alone as Aron points out that about 1 in 20 people qualify as an HSP.

In her book, she offers a quiz (you know how I love me a good self quiz!) to see where on the scale of sensitivity you fall. When I took it, I scored on every item except one. (If you’re curious, it’s the one about being very sensitive to pain. Surprisingly I have a pretty high pain tolerance.) I was off the charts HSP. But the funny part was as I was reading through the questions I kept thinking “You mean other people don’t feel this way? How can they not be bothered by this stuff?!” I was worried that it was one of those “horoscope” quizzes that is so vague that it will end up being true for everyone. I remedied this by forcing every person I came into contact with that weekend to take the test. (I even followed my dad around his kitchen while he was doing the dishes, asking him the questions and jotting down the answers for him.) The results? While a couple people scored in the mid ranges, no one came even close to touching my score. My husband only checked 3 out of the 27 questions.

Scientific proof, folks: I am a freak.

At first I was depressed about this – I’m doomed to always hate surprise parties and wear sweatshirts in 70-degree weather! – but as I continued to read her book I began to feel strangely liberated. First, Aron points out that while being “overly sensitive” is generally perceived as a negative trait in our sensory overloaded society, it actually has a lot of benefits and good qualities too. She refers to it as her secret superpower. I’ve always wanted a superpower! Second, it became immediately apparent that this is so important for me to understand because I have two kids that are definitely HSPs. Son #2 and Jelly Bean, in case you are wondering.  (Sorry for the genetic payload kiddos! Just call me Enola Gay.)

I have spent a good portion of my life being told that I am “too sensitive”, feeling bad that things bother me so much, and trying super duper hard to compensate for my sensitivities and pretend I’m just like everyone else. And the effort of trying to look like a rational human being is, frankly, exhausting. Especially when I’m already super stressed out (like, oh, now). It also doesn’t work. People know I’m off. My friends can sense that I’m bugged about something. And all too often people assume the reason for my strangeness has something to do with them, that I don’t like them, which makes me sad. It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t like me!

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to pretend to be okay when I’m not, trying to figure out why I’m upset when others aren’t. Consequently I’ve developed some pretty decent coping mechanisms. Yogic breathing has been a Godsend. Doing repetitive things like crossword puzzles, piano playing or crocheting helps a lot. Taking a daily break to my refuge. (My bedroom: it’s all white. Walls, comforter, pillows, curtains, everything. No pictures. No tchotchkes. No decorations. No music. No TV. No overhead lighting. Definitely no fans. I find it immensely soothing.) Those are the good things. I also have some strange coping tools, most notably that when I don’t know how I “should” be reacting to a situation I will look around the room and find someone “normal” and then copy their behavior. Yes, I know how creepy that sounds. It kind of works. (At least until they notice me aping them and I have to pretend I’m doing a Mime Experiment, JK y’all!) Then there are the bad things. Excessive exercise, my eating disorders, and my perfectionism are all, I believe, part of how I deal with feeling overwhelmed all the time. Must! Control! Everything!

As a kid, being an HSP was agony for me (oh the buzzing of the fluorescent lights!!) but thankfully as a grown-up I have a lot of control over my own environment which mitigates a lot of the discomfort. So once I identified my son as having a similar temperament, I set about teaching him all my “tricks” for appearing comfortable in a world that makes you feel anything but. I felt like a good mom. I felt like I could help him succeed in all the many ways I failed growing up. In fact, if he listened really well maybe I could teach him enough so that people would never know how sensitive he really is!

And that would be a shame, Aron says. She points out that always forcing yourself to change, to be something you’re not, takes a huge toll on you. (And she’s right, it does. Hello lifetime of self loathing!) She says, and I can’t even tell you how wonderful it felt to read this, that there isn’t anything inherently wrong with being super sensitive. In fact, there’s a lot right with it. You have to learn to fine tune it, not hide it. And while you can’t force the world to bend to your whims – nor should you, compromise is the WD-40 of life – you don’t need to be ashamed of having those whims. It made me realize that perhaps I shouldn’t be teaching my son how to “overcome” his sensitive nature but rather giving him a good example of how to embrace it.  How to laugh at himself. How to explain himself. How to take care of what he needs for himself, by himself.

I’m just not sure how to do that yet. So in the meantime I’m going to keep turning off fans. My apologies.

Any of you HSPs? Did you take the quiz? I’m super interested in what you guys score! Do you have a quirk that makes you feel like a freak a lot? How do you deal? Anyone else ever get into an “aerobics fight”??

 

45 Comments

  1. I’d say it depends. I am a HSP in certain situations, and not in others. After moving to India, I’ve become immune to traffic jams–this is probably because I’m not the one driving and I always have my phone or ipad with me to keep me distracted. I also used to hate ceiling fans! But now that I’m in a scorching hot country, I keep my ACs blasted on full fan mode. I’m beginning to like ceiling fans because they keep the mosquitoes at bay!

    I don’t take group classes because I can never keep up! But if I did, I’d probably be in someone else’s space all the time because my hand-eye coordination skills are so bad.

  2. Good for you Charlotte for figuring out how to take care of yourself. It can be hard when it feels like other people are fine in a situation and you’re not!

    Like always I tend to be kind of borderline on these HSP tests. Large crowds and super noisy situations really bother me and I’m easily overwhelmed but violent movies, smells, etc don’t get to me. My fiancé on the other hand always scores like 1! I think it’s good. 2 even borderline HSPs would be bad.

  3. Just took the test (a test? of course I’ll take it!) and scored a pretty conclusive 21. Perhaps this explains why I’d live alone if only I could afford it…and not in a big city if it weren’t necessary for work at the moment.

  4. 18
    I, too, have an excellent pain tolerance. Can’t listen to or watch anybody arguing at all, no matter the scenario, but physical pain? Pshaw! Bring it.
    I need to visit you. xxxooo

  5. 23. It seems too much, I don’t feel that sensitive to everything. I just respond easily to a lot of things and sometimes in a negative or defensive way.

  6. My score is 22. Wow! So they call me ‘drama queen’ for a good reason.
    Like you I constantly wondered if other people didn’t feel like this. And then I thought about my husband, who is literally a zen master.
    As a teen, I watched every horror movie I could find, to toughen up in a way. I tried to block everything and everyone out and became a loner, because interacting with people made me shiver. I’m so proud of myself that I can do small talk with strangers these days. But there are still moments when I believe that everyone is judging and hating me. Gah!

  7. Score of 4. I’m aware of things when I want to be, but I am incredibly good at ignoring stuff that drives other people batty.

  8. Kathy Constantine

    I came across her book “The Highly Sensitive Child” years ago (I have one of those too). It really helped me understand him better, but also made me realize I was one too. Then I read the HSP…..so great to understand myself better. And for what it’s worth, I despise fans, and my husband insists on sleeping with one every single night (for almost 20 years now).

  9. Scored an 18. I’ve always been told I’m too sensitive – it’s always presented as a fault, but I will say this is one thing I’ve never really been down on myself about; I just figured it’s how I am, and I can’t change it. But I have learned to recognize certain reactions and found ways to cope. As you say, when you are an adult and you have more control over your environment, it helps. Not to say that I don’t get overwhelmed sometimes, and there certainly are things I could learn to deal with better. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone. 🙂

  10. Now I understand why I function so much better on Cymbalta! I ‘m a 21! (I also love quizzes and HATE fans). Does wool against your skin drive you insane???? I I also have a high pain tolerance…which is a good thing considering all the surgery I’ve had.

  11. 22. I’ve always been “accused” of being too sensitive, like it’s a bad thing! Pshaw. I’d rather be sensitive than insensitive. Of course, I don’t know what it feels like to be insensitive, so perhaps if I did, I’d rather be insensitive. Okay, I’ll stop.

  12. I scored a 14 – right on the border – but I feel as if I would have scored maybe a 2 or 3 as a child, so clearly adulthood has not treated me well. I feel as if most of my sensitivity is to emotions – my own and other people’s – although don’t get me wrong: there are plenty of physical sensations that drive me bonkers, too!

  13. 11 I am a big seeker of alone time and I avoid chaos, noise and over-stimulation but that’s about as far as it goes.
    I personally love the fan. One time the fan broke and was stuck on me instead of sweeping the room. I performed great that day mainly because I felt I was getting the VIP treatment.

  14. I took the test several years ago and scored a 27. I am extremely sensitive and while I think it makes me a better massage therapist it definitely makes living in this world harder. I often think that I’m too sensitive for this world. I absolutely loved The Highly Sensitive Person because it explained me to myself. Before I just thought I was really weird and felt terrible about it.

    BTW, Elaine says that about 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive (not 1 in 20), about the same percentage that are highly sensitive in the animal world. But, obviously, some of those people are considered HSPs but are just less sensitive.

    As difficult as it is to be sensitive the world needs us. While others are charging ahead without thinking and making foolish decisions, we are the ones who “pause to check” and think about the ramifications of the decision. Of course, that works the other way, too. While I am pausing to check and pausing to check someone is charging ahead and doing what needs to be done. The world needs both.

  15. My two kids and I all scored 11 on the respective quizzes. I was shocked. Although this doesn’t hit the 13 recommended it certainly shows we have some tendencies in that direction. I’ll have to read more stuff…

  16. Well I’m not HSP, but I share your hatred of fans…ditto for car windows rolled down.

  17. Well I scored a 16 on the quiz. I suspected I was probably borderline, but I guess I am more sensitive than I realized. I have a higher pain threshold if I know it is coming and it has a reason (deep tissue massage, surgery) but an incredibly low pain threshold if it’s a surprise to me. And I really don’t deal well with loud noises (especially if I’m already upset) or crowds. But I do love breezes, it reminds me of sailing and generally relaxes me.

  18. 23, here. That’s a great way to describe it, walking around with your skin on inside out! For me, the two really bad things are when I have to have cold hands, like picking up a pop can out of the fridge is physically painful to my hand and arm, and my seatbelt rubbing on my collarbone. (I still wear one, obviously.) Fans do not bother me, thankfully, because I need one to block out all the little noises that drive me batty when trying to fall asleep.
    I have a lot of weird quirks, but the one that made me realize that it was maybe, ahem, weird, was that, in high school, I would wear a ponytail so I could tell if I was moving too much during class. I was painfully shy and I wanted to be”invisible”, so if I couldn’t feel my ponytail swishing across my back, I knew I was being still enough to count as “invisible”. I know, weird… Funnily enough, I put that same ponytail to use now when I’m on long runs. I know if my ponytail is flying wildly, or swinging back and forth mightily, I’m not running at maximum efficiency…lots of unnecessary flailing going on! Lesson in this post, ponytails are awesome. They make you invisible and a better runner. WORD.

  19. Seems like many of the commentators are on the sensitive side, so I’ll just write down my 7 points to make the overall statistics more plausible. I’m sure I would have scored close to 20 some ten years ago, but life and children have kind of numbed me down or maybe made me care less. I must say, I’m surprised I even got 7, it seems like there’s nothing that could move me at all.

  20. Oh, Charlotte. Did anybody mention that there is wind in Colorado? I live in Wyoming and it is worse here if that is any consolation. Prepare yourself! You know how the boy scouts say you can lick your finger and hold it up to see which way the wind is blowing? I can tell you, if you have to do that, the wind aint blowing!

  21. I scored 24. This probably explains why I have a huge meltdown when deadlines approach – a nuclear meltdown when I have several at the same time. My expectations are too high for myself and self-loathing abounds! I’ve added this book to my “to-read” list.

    I hope you are able to set a good example for your kids. Fortunately, neither of mine seem to be quite as sensitive as me!

  22. I had to laugh because I read this with a very high powered fan blowing at me; I almost constantly have fans on in summer, and sleep with one on year round.

    I took the quiz and was borderline HSP, which makes sense to me. I was annoyed with the quiz first because with the wording it should make use of a Likert scale answer format, and I was even more annoyed that it seemed a Psychologist was toting its usefulness, until I saw the note at the bottom that they did employ Likert scaling when they used it in research published in the JofPSP.

    It was constantly rainy and windy where I grew up so maybe that’s why I have no problem with fans, but I am SUPER sensitive to being too hot. I am also very sensitive to light and noise and being around people. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the need to really change myself, I’ve just adapted by having select few friends who are accepting of my needs and preferences and who understand that I won’t always want to do the same things they want to do (like go clubbing or to casinos, etc). We compromise…if it’s their birthday or something I will go places that make me uncomfortable because it’s worth it to make them happy. When it’s my special occasion we do quiet things instead of them dragging me out to do what they think is fun. And other times we meet in the middle; if we go out together we don’t go anywhere too rambunctious or too subdued, and when we sit we choose a table more on the edges and I will sit facing the wall so the sight of all the people won’t keep overwhelming me. I’ve never felt the need to ‘suck it up’ and/or try to change myself, but then at the same time, I have a lot of freedom in my life to avoid things that are uncomfortable because I’m single without kids. Being a wife and mother would definitely take me outside my comfort zone in terms of putting me constantly in noisy, chaotic situations I’m sure! I’m really not sure how well I’d cope, not having been in the situation.

  23. I figured out that I was HSP around six months ago and it the knowledge has changed my life in so many ways. It put an umbrella over my unrelated quirks and make me see the pattern and realize how connectd they actually are. I avoid crowded malls at all costs. I can’t have the overhead light in the kitchen on if I’m in another room. I have to turn down the radio to concentrate. I can hear ever single candy wrapper opened in a movie theatre. I’ve had co-workers wear bangle bracelets and I had to ask her to take them off because the noise was too distracting. The list goes on and on. Realizing it wasn’t just me being a weirdo was so life-changing.

  24. Hee…I’m one of those people who can’t stand to workout *without* a fan. I get overheated easily 🙂
    I have to admit my husband is HSP and sometimes it can get to me, as I am one of those roll with it whatever happens people and altho there is the odd thing that will drive me crazy I often get annoyed at him and his reaction to a sound/thing/event instead of the thing itself. Not going to crowded places and doing things without a group can be frustrating at times, but I try and respect his needs as well as mine. I go out and do other things by myself or with friends if I feel I need to…but that’s why we’re all different isn’t it? Part of why I love my partner is his ability to feel deeply and laugh and love with abundance. You can’t have one without the other 🙂

  25. Can’t stand any wind or fan- no matter how hot it is! I hate it when I’m teaching a class and someone comes up and turns on the fan! And I have to be nice about it. I have to slide over! Don’t like an overhead fan or air blowing on me in a car! Guess I’m strange, too!

  26. Hallo there,
    I have been a reader for years but I have never made a comment. I have enjoyed all your witty and wise words, Charlotte. And you, readers, are always a step ahead of me (might be the time zone? I live in Germany and thus read the posts with some delay) and written in a funnier or deeper way what I also thought. But now I feel I can give my little comment and also ask a question.
    When I was a teenager I “felt” a lot (good and bad things, art, music, literature – oh how words can move me!) and I enjoyed this “intensity” in my life, although it made me a bit of a social outcast (why would a 16 year old girl feel “uncomfortable” at parties and prefer read a book – or ten – instead?). Of course, it also does not help that my face is naturally set on a “permanent “b***h face” when I am deep in my own thoughts (ehm…most of the time?).

    But anyway, now that I am 31, I find myself in an odd situation. The rare moments I allow myself to feel, it is just overwhelming: a random song on the radio can make me cry, the sweet smile of a child passing by, the news (I do not own a TV and it helps). It is, of course, because now that I am older I know how life can really hurt (something my teenager self fortunately ignored), our beloved ones can die, our best intentions can be misunderstood and our hard work overlooked or scorned.
    And here comes my problem: I have somehow managed to tune myself out most of the time, to go around staring emptily at the things that otherwise would move me, scare me, challenge me. I have shout myself out and I can “function” to a decent extent (I can even “shine” at short social events if I want to) but what is left is more of a zombie, constantly wondering what I “should” feel and say in that or that other circumstance.
    It is a bit like with an eating disorder (something I am also familiar with): you have gone on depriving yourself of the joy of eating (even more than of the food itself, which at times was scarce and at times was too much) that you cannot figure out how to eat and enjoy it “spontaneously”. Have you had a similar issue? Have you chosen “functioning” over being true to yourselves? And have you managed to reverse the process somehow?
    Sorry for this too long comment but the topic is really dear to me.

  27. The only decent fans are ceiling ones. Others can get, as you pointed out, quite annoying. Depends on personal preference though..

  28. I have a friend in Colorado who’s made it her work to coach and empower HSPs and help them get the most out of life. I would gladly give you her info if you’d like. She’s my oldest friend (we’ve know each other since the age of 2), so if it would be helpful to you and build her client base, it’s a win-win!

  29. I needed to revisit and thank you so much for your info on HSP. I’ve known I was odd from an early age, and had figured out how to deal, but we are in the midst of going through ADD testing for my oldest and this post knocked me over the head with a hammer and flipped on the lightbulb above it. *DING* I’ve known all along that my oldest does not have ADD, but none of his teachers will listen because he is, shall we say, a handful, at school…not in a violent or harmful way. He just is too intense with EVERYTHING. Until this post, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a classification of Highly Sensitive, but he most definitely is. I think this will help us on our quest towards making his schooling and his life more productive. You probably just changed my child’s life for the better by posting this information. THANK YOU!

  30. 23. Yeeps! But I also think that I’ve learned a lot of tricks to function. I can manage a lot of those things, even though they do stress me out. The repetitiveness of children though has been one of those things that made me feel awful. I love my children dearly but when they repeat the same thing fiftymilliontimesinarow I want to bury my head under a rock. And you’re description of feeling like you’re wearing your skin inside out is so apt, Maybe I should read this HSP book….

  31. 19/24

    No one else ever seems to get it when I say that I can hear the damned florescent lights BUZZING, but I CAN.

    Also, Husband doesn’t understand why the first thing I must do after buying an item of clothing is to systematically take all of the tags out, completely.

    I wish it was easier to tune things out. But it just isn’t. I will probably employ noise-cancelling headphones if I have kids–it’s better than getting angry with them, or being unable to function because their noises are repetitive.

  32. OMG I hate the fans!! And AC and wind. Everyone thinks I’m so weird, and I never understand how they fight for the fans in the gym, or turn AC fans on in the car. I ALWAYS turn them away from me, it kills me. Even when outside and everyone is just so in love with that “wonderful breeze” I’m like “I HATE wind!” I”d rather be hot and sweaty than have something blowing on me. I can’t explain it. Your HSP thing makes a lot of sense. I’m about to go take the quiz myself but it explains a lot of my sensitivities and what people see as quirks.
    Also, you make me want to go back to zumba, it’s been forever since I”ve done anything but weights!

  33. No surprise here, I identified with 25 of the questions. I dread parties but smile through them because I have a husband that needs large amounts of social interaction to recharge, I avoid stores and restaurants that “feel” wrong, I have to sleep with a fan or radio to drown out distracting noise that would otherwise keep me up all night. That I have to internally troubleshoot any experience to make it an “ideal” experience is the constant buzz at the back of my brain. It’s worse than perfectionism. I can’t go to an amazing restaurant because they once accidentally included onions, and I don’t want to deal with the worry that the onions will be there again. Right now I’m worrying that the moms with big personalities will be picking a lame teacher gift again this year before I can do the influencing to make sure the she gets a gift suited specifically to her (everyone feels better if I can make the teacher cry). It goes on and on. Thanks for letting me confront my crazy.

  34. I’m not a HSP, but I can’t stand fans, either. My husband makes fun of me for it, but it can be 80 degrees and I need to be in long sleeves or under a cover because I just can’t deal with any sort of breeze on my skin. Weird, right?

  35. My score was 18. Like you, I’m not very sensitive to pain, but I cannot stop myself from hearing EVERY conversation occurring in a room. I dislike that most restaurants have eight TVs and loud music on ALL time the time.

    So many of the HSP traits are the same as those in the kids I work with who have Austim, so I credit my HSP tendencies to the reason I’m able to relate to them and teach them effectively. It’s truly been a gift for me.

    But, out of curiosity, I have to know whether any of the other HSP people see everything in their mind as pictures or as an ongoing movie or whether any of you constantly have music playing in your mind. Just wondering if there is any connection.

  36. Hey Charlotte,

    time for me to un-lurk: I’m long-time reader and have been enjoying your thoughtful and thought-provoking posts for years. I love how brave, strong and real you are – and that you are not shying away from challenging, painful topics that many of us can relate to. A million ‘thank yous’ and hugs wouldn’t be enough! 🙂

    Your virtual home first introduced me to the term HSP in 2011 and I immediately had a moment of relief realizing: Finally something that described pretty much exactly how I (and many others!) experience the world – after 29 years of being told: “You’re just too sensitive!”

    I used to feel very ‘separated’ and ashamed. The good news is: There are quite a few of us and we can connect! Elaine Aron’s book and the interwebs offer valuable support to process all the input we’re constantly being exposed to. I now communicate that I am highly sensitive to close friends and, as a result, have been experiencing more ‘connection’ than ever. I’m pretty outgoing and a traveller at heart so when meeting new people and if the situation feels like the encounter could be meaningful, I also put myself out there – and I’m quite amazed by some of the reactions.

    So thank you so much, Charlotte, for sharing the term and ressources that have supported (and still support!) me on my journey to accept and embrace my sensitivity and to build deeper connections, both with myself and others – it has really changed my life.

    Many blessings and much love to you and our fellow HSPs – and all other beings of course!
    Alexis (scoring 22)

  37. I scored 19. Can’t stand the fan blowing on me in bed, which is unfortunate because my husband MUST have the fan on while he sleeps, so I cover my head and turn the other direction. I am friends with a very big family. They invite me to their events which I LOVE to go to. BUT, I always need to have a place to go be by myself so that I don’t have to be ON all of the time. It is overwhelming to me. Makes me feel like something is wrong with me because I LOVE being with those people, but I also have to be able to be alone when I get overwhelmed. Changes is a huge one. My husband is looking into pastoring a church either in North Carolina or Alabama. I live in Michigan. I love Michigan. I have strong roots here. I! DON”T! WANT! TO! MOVE! To the point where I feel like throwing up. Earlier tonight it felt like an enormous overreaction..but then I read this post and I remember why I feel like this.

    • ((huge hugs)) Lisa! I totally get this. Truly I do. I responded more to your other comment but if you ever need to vent, I’m only an e-mail away:)

  38. Thank you! You may live to regret that offer. LOL

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  41. Oh my goodness! Someone else who can’t stand a fan blowing on them! I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see the day. And another person who has a special room they retreat to! Mine is the bathroom. Any bathroom. I can’t tell you how many public bathrooms floors I’ve laid on staving off a panic attack (I know, ew), or crying like an idiot because some lady at church criticized my kickboxing rhythm. I’ve never heard of HSP before but I took that quiz and checked all but 4 boxes. I guess it explains a lot.

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