The 20 Best (Worst) Vintage Diet Ads [Part 2 – Because I just love these things SO much]

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GROSS. So many questions: Why is this pig so happy to be slicing and dicing himself? Why is he made of sausage? How can he hold a knife with no opposable thumbs? And WHAT are the purple bits?! I’m so disturbed.

My hobbies: Fitness, baking failures and flushing toilets (at least you’d assume so based  on the number of times per day I have to do it. Boys.) Actually one of my fave things to do is to collect vintage dresses. But it’s less well known that I also love vintage diet ads. They’re hilarious! And misogynistic  And gross (see above)! And so often, really really wrong. So a couple of years ago I did a post with my fave ads but I’ve found so many new ones that I had to share these with you. You’re welcome! (Or, I’m sorry. I know, now you can’t get the pig out of your head either.)

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Would this be the Hannibal Lecter method of “reducing”? Although I have to admit I’m curious to see the “illustrated booklet”.

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Ayds has got to be the most unfortunate name for a diet pill ever. And considering the active ingredients included a numbing agent to blunt your taste buds and an amphetamine to, well, you know what speed does – it’s probably for the best this one went to the birds. Or the rabbits. Whatever. Also, lady? Vegetables: Ur doin it rong.


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You know how much I love the pin-up girl aesthetic. This is the Coppertone Girl all grown up! 

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Um, someone didn’t do their research very well. This is basically the worst advice ever. On like 7 different levels. Also, nobody licks an ice cream cone like that. STOP it.

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Sorry, this isn’t a diet ad but holy crap is it disturbing. 

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You know how I feel about comparing us ladies to fruit – ugh – but how much do I love that the bra is named “the Little Fibber”?! Does the “Big Fibber” exist? And if so may I have two please? dietad11

I am SO CURIOUS now. “No-pill, no-exercise, one-day reducing formula! Eat your fill! Go to sleep! Wake up! And you’ve lost up to 5 pounds!” I mean, it’s so vague! But now that I look closer I notice they didn’t include “pooping” on their list. I’ll bet my $1 whatever this thing is it will give you explosive diarrhea.

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Aw, poor woman doesn’t get to eat at the table. But at least she makes a passable Ms. Pac-Man cake!

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You see the woman’s stomach in the red suit? That’s pretty much what I look like. Why oh why was I not born 30 years earlier?! “If you want to be popular you can’t afford to be skinny!” I gotta say I find these reminders that tastes are so fickle to be oddly reassuring. Now for the important question: What is she wearing on her feet?! It looks like headgear… with heels.

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Hunts tomato sauce: Patron saint of zombies. I mean don’t you just want to eat this woman braiiinnns now?

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First, I will confess: I love a big ol’ brick of shredded wheat. I grew up on it. I think it’s fiberifically delicious. But while these biscuits may be saying “Good Morning”, they’re definitely thinking about last night. Anyone else find this pic a little, um, suggestive? It’s like butt cheeks covered in leaches.  

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Don’t let these bewildered ladies fool you: us women folk can totally eat this mono-colored monstrosity of a soup too! Or you can wait for your cat to vomit. Up to you.

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I dunno guys, the way she’s cupping that lettuce and the expression on her face… dietad19

Well at least the hippies got it right. I love that today we’re coddled into eating our veggies by hiding beets in brownies and beans in fudge. None of that codswallop in the 70’s! By golly, toughen up and eat your oddly shiny veggies. You pansy.

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Oh good – I was worried that fat shaming was only for us modern gals! “Beneath that floppy sweatshirt she’s a little overweight. You knew that. Because right now you’re a little overweight too. That’s bad.”  You hear that? You are a bad, bad girl!  (Maybe you need a head of lettuce?) And sweatshirts are for losers. (Not cold people. No one ever gets cold walking the shore at dusk in their underwear.)

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“Helps catch boys!” If Wonder Bread was as good at catching boys as it was at being “healthful” then this girl better look into a convent.
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Oh man, I feel for little Tracy Harper so much right now. Honey, you’re not chubby. White tights make everyone’s legs look bigger. Also, if you need to pee the bathroom’s right down the hall. Don’t hold it, you’ll get an infection!

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This is one seriously cute baby. Who is seriously FREAKING me out right now. Don’t do it, Junior! Mommy’s selling you crack!

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You know who else I feel really bad for? Women easily confused by cereal. Here’s hoping someone opened the box for her because I would not trust that gal with scissors.

dietads9Oh hey, maybe this chick can help her!  

Do you have a favorite diet ad? What’s your secret hobby??

34 Comments

  1. Oh, I LOOOOOOOVE these!!!!!!
    I remember an ad for a product called “Fibre Trim.” It was a TV ad, and it featured 2 little girls talking about how beautiful the mom of the cute blond girl was (as opposed to the brunette girl.. We can assume her mom was chubby and “plain.”) It was all in French (hence the spelling of “Fibre”) and just awful. I believe this was in the late 70’s.
    The other one, also a TV ad from the 70’s, was for TAB. The saccharine-filled precursor to Diet Coke et al. This one starred a businessman sitting at his desk, unable to get his work done because he couldn’t stop thinking about his slim, sexy wife (in her awesome bell bottoms!). She kept running through his head-LITERALLY!- while the jingle sang about TAB giving you “A good shape.” Lucky her! Her hubby won’t get up to any hanky panky with HIS secretary, not while his wife keeps her girlish figure! Who cares if ingesting all that saccharine causes cancer in laboratory mice!
    And yes, that pig is disturbing.

  2. Another hilarious post! About the ‘chubby’ kid though–perhaps it’s also because humans (everywhere) have been growing bigger (as in taller and broader) with every generation as well. So what’s considered ‘big’ or ‘chubby’ 50 years ago, probably wouldn’t today.

    I think the 50s — 80s would have been tougher on women! you can’t be too thin, you can’t be too fat–you have find a perfect middle ground!

  3. Great old advertisements. It sure has shown how far women have come from the old stereotypes, but there is still a long way to go in my opinion.

  4. Ha ha, I love that ducklips were a problem even way back then.

  5. Oh good lord. Hilarious, but raises so many points. In my opinion, even though our views have “shifted,” there’s still so much more focus on body weight and shape and obsession with food and fitness even though our ads and views have supposedly become more accepting of “body love” things. I think women in the 40s and 50s were SO beautiful. I would love to have a look like Marilyn Monroe or be super curvy. Not sure those ads would have helped with things though…;)

  6. Love these advertisements! It just makes so much sense, it is so funny and yet it’s the reality! A very straight forward ads. I remember boys like the shape of the coca-cola bottle because it symbolizes the body of a sexy woman, and then for fat woman, they used fruit or an object such as the ball in symbolizing their big body. How cruel, isn’t it?

  7. Is shocked-by-cereal woman Elizabeth Montgomery? Looks just like her.

  8. The shredded wheat ad does kind of look like “butt cheeks covered in leeches”. Kind of gross.

  9. Awesome post! Of course it’s a sad reflection on our societal views of women, but what better way to celebrate progress than laughing out loud! (yes I did)

    As a skinny teen, my parents gave me Wate-On. 40 years later I must still be processing it:)

  10. “Sugar can be the willpower you need to undereat” that one is so screwed up I am just curious to see what BS they were dishing out to people. I mean who would have fallen for that even 50 years ago? If this were the case, everyone would be thin 🙂

  11. Some of these advertisements are kind of disturbing.

  12. That first pic almost made me click off, 😉 – HOLY CRAP – boy have we come a long way YET we still have girls & women dieing to be thin.. 🙁

  13. It’s very interesting ads of a pig hold a knife and happy so be slicing himself..
    My friend and I always thinking of diet everyday, now we still eat a lot.. haha..Hope those ads could help us.

  14. Hilarious and disturbing. I remember some of those ads from my youth. One of my school mates in grade school always had an Ayds in her lunch.

  15. LOL! These are awesome. I especially like the one about gaining weight. My family always tells a story about my dad being given pills to fatten him up as a kid because the doctor was worried he was too skinny; his mom was so worried, she gave him double! Man how he regrets that now… Really puts things in perspective about how much our culture’s ideas of beauty are pretty arbitrary.

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  17. So funny! I love vintage diet and exercise stuff.

  18. Hilarious and awful!

  19. Hilarious!! I actually remember my mom chewing in “Ayds” back in the 70’s! Wow, what a blast from the past! More, please!

  20. These are all really funny! But oh my how times have changed! It is unthinkable these days that we would give any soda drinks to infants.. And gaining weight was a desired thing!

  21. You know why she’s wearing the sweatshirt, don’t you?

    That’s not very nice is it lol

  22. There was a time when plump was good. Girls did not starve to death, and men liked a bit of meat on the bones. I still think most men do, I know mine does. Then all these anorexic models sprung up and created an image of the perfect human body which has made life difficult ever since. If you exercise regularly and eat well you will look good. It’s a great article though, brings back memories.

  23. Thank you for those. Priceless. My favorite – “You know why she’s wearing the sweatshirt, don’t you?” Oh, Lord.
    Gaye

  24. The fat shaming with the three girls is terrible. It makes me want to go inside that picture and tell them all to put on a sweater, or a swim suit, or whatever the heck they want.

  25. I laughed out loud almost spit up my cofee reading some of these ads. The funniest one for me was the “Want to Be PopuLar Then you can’t afford to be skinny” ha ha ha. I leave for work smiling this morning great post. I enjoyed it alot.

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