Got some bad news tonight. Of course I can’t talk about it (I don’t tell other people’s problems on this blog unless they ask me to!). And of course it’s driving me nuts. They’re hurting. A lot. I’m hurting for them. There’s nothing I can do to help. (Ha! I’m vague-booking! I’m even annoying myself.) So I expend all my helpful energy worrying. In the past my coping technique would have been to go for a long run but the dark combined with -30 temps convinced me to stick with my resolution of finding other ways to deal besides sweating.
Here’s what I did.
1. Cried a little. Sometimes it helps but today it just made me feel sorry for myself. Plus I have to explain to the kids why mommy is broken and that gets messy.
2. Ate a lot. Pancakes, popcorn and – I promise you I’m not making this up – 4 grapefruits. Oh and I musn’t forget every angsty gal’s solace – chocolate*. Carbs: it happens. I’m not beating myself up over it though. Part of Intuitive Eating is, actually, using food for emotional support. It can’t be your primary coping mechanism but we call it comfort food for a reason – it’s comforting. And that’s okay. Still obsessing over the bad news though.
3. Decided I was done thinking about it so proceeded to vigorously clean my kitchen. Couldn’t stop thinking about it. Felt more sorry for myself. And starting to get angry. Lectured person severely in my head.
4. Found some loud, ridiculous music on the radio (Thrift store by Macklemore – my new anthem – I’ve embedded it below, it entertains me that much), cranked it, and had a dance party. My sons did Gangnam Style, you know, like they do to everything. It’s this generation’s head-bob. I did the white girl tornado, teeth and all. Stopped thinking about it.
5. Ordered pizza so I wouldn’t have to cook. NEVER do this. Kids thought it was an international holiday. Until they saw it was dad’s favorite pineapple and ham.
6. Vigorously cleaned my living room.
7. Cleaned Jelly Bean’s room while I sang her lullabies and she “helped” by putting on every item of clothing she owns – at the same time.
8. Reorganized and sorted all my off-season clothes and dreamed about weather that didn’t have “negative windchill” in front of it.
9. Cleaned out my closet. Had second thoughts about half the stuff I took out. Put it back in.
10. Cleaned the bathroom. Not vigorously though. Because I detest cleaning bathrooms. I begrudgingly cleaned it. (It’s not that clean.)
11. Browsed for cute vintages dresses online (but didn’t buy any!) while avoiding working because every time I try to concentrate, all I can think about is…
But seriously how smoking hot would I look in this? [Update: Lots of people in the comments are asking for the links to the dresses – you all have impeccable taste! I actually found these dresses on ebay. Just searched for “vintage dress” BUT since you asked, I found a link for you http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/two-if-by-tea-dress I LOOOVE Modcloth! But once you see the price, you’ll see why I was ebay-ing it;) ]
Or this? With a little puff-sleeved cardi? Lemon pumps and a belt?
12. Obsessively applied lip balm every five minutes to ameliorate chewing my lower lip and sighing all evening.
13. Couldn’t think of anything useful to blog. Felt bad about that. But hey at least I wasn’t feeling bad about the bad news! This is lame. I’m sorry. Hitting publish anyhow just so I can show you funny pictures, cute dresses and hilarious videos.
14. Wrote down 5 things in my journal that are great in my life and that I’m happy for. This helped. (In case you’re curious: 1. Kids that have not gotten the flu *knockonwood* even though all their friends have. 2. Getting to donate all our unused diapers since we’ll never need another one again! 3. A jalapeno goat cheese dip that is to die for on mini peppers. 4. A husband who goes and picks up pizza when I’m too stressed to cook. 5. The combination of texting and camera phones in the hands of my hilarious friends.)
I’m smiling now. Probably should have skipped straight to step 14. But hey, my kitchen’s clean!
*15. Decide I need to do something nice for someone else. But it’s 1 a.m. And then I remember the delicious chocolate I ate earlier – who doesn’t love chocolate? I was nomming a giant Costco bag of Brookside dark-chocolate covered pomegranate seeds. They were delish and the flavanoids from the dark chocolate and anti-oxidants from the pomegranates made me feel like I picked a quality indulgence. And, in a bit of gifting serendipity, Brookside offered to give one of their tasting kits – all 3 new flavors, a Crate & Barrel cheeseboard, knife and glasses – to one of you guys. So it’s not much – I’m not saving the world, or even saving my loved one – but it makes me happy that I could send a little bit of happiness someone’s way! Chocolate-covered goji and raspberries! Yay!
What do you guys do when you’re upset/worried/angry and there isn’t a thing you can do to resolve or help it? Eat? Clean? Have sex? Do crossword puzzles? All of the above at the same time? (No??) I need ideas! Leave me a comment and you’ll be entered to win the chocolate kit.
(And hey, if you feel like praying for someone you’ve never met for reasons you don’t know then I’ll take that too!)
Macklemore Thrift Store Daddy Parody below. I ended up pulling the original video for all the language (sorry about that, when I posted it last night apparently my brain was just in laughing mode and missed all the f-bombs.) If you want to see the original (hilarious but serious warning for language, bad fashion and Slurpee abuse check it out on the youtubes)