Dear Blue Jeans Companies: I Did Not Deserve This [Why I hate wearing jeans]

Dear Jeans Manufacturers,

There I was, getting ready to go to a friend’s house (to eat coconut milk ice cream and watch Craigslist Joe, if you must know, and yes, I totally recommend both – sooo fun!) but before I could even get my primp on I ran into a snag. Bigger than a snag, actually. This happened:

I loved grunge as much as the next girl (er, grrrl) but this is not the right way to do distressed denim.

How did this happen exactly? I put on my fave pair of trouser jeans — so cute with or without heels! Can be dressed up or dressed down! Love the wash! — and when I squatted down to pick up my belt off the floor I felt a rip. An earthquake, really. Basically I Incredible-Hulked my jeans.

Upside: It does make this easier. Maybe I should rip the butt out of all my pants.

My first thought was sadness. I lost a beloved pair of jeans! And then my sadness turned inward. Stupid “athletic” thighs! Why do you always have to go and ruin perfectly good fashion?! I need to lose 10 pounds, stat! But then I got angry because you know what? My thighs are awesome. Yeah, they’re bigger than what your sizing charts say they should be but you should see me jump a plyo box! Or check out my killer roundhouse! And did you know I can squat with a full range of motion? On a Bosu! With weights! And four kids hanging off me! And spinning plates on the top of my head! (Okay, not the plates!)

So guess what, jeans companies: it’s not me that’s the problem, it’s you.

Why do you have to make me so disproportionate? My strong legs are too big for a “slim fit” but my waist is too small to go up a size. There is a 2-3 size difference between my waist and my thighs. And I know y’all think you solved this problem when you invented curvy jeans but all “curvy” girls are not created identically and while I’ve got more thighs than a bucket of chicken, I don’t have much of a butt (despite hundreds of lunges). I’m also entertained that your definition of “athletic” (as evidenced by countless magazine articls and fit tips) is “straight up and down” (i.e. no waist, no butt, no hips, no legs). Certainly those women can be athletic but athletes come in all shapes and sizes. Although I am glad you stopped calling that body type “boy shaped” because that was just ridic. Maybe we should just go back to the fruit bowl? Hi apple, I’m a pear.

So many fits! And not one that fits me! I find it hard to believe I am the only one in this boat.

Do you know what you’ve left me with Jeans Manufacturers? The denim demon PAJAMA JEANS. (Hold me.)

I’m a girl with style darnnit. I deserve better than cheap leggings with a seam and pockets printed on them Polly-Pocket style. I deserve better than 97% lycra. I deserve to feel strong  AND confident AND sexy in my jeans. Oh, and I deserve to be able to squat down to pick something up without literally tearing the butt out of my pants. I do not deserve this:

And no I will not be repurposing them into some daisy dukes. Although if you want to , you’re welcome to them!

(You’ll notice that it’s only the right side. It’s a quarter inch bigger. I don’t know why. But this illustrates what a difference 0.25 can make!) While this is the first time I’ve ever split my own pants, this is certainly not the only time I’ve worn ill-fitting jeans. In fact, I daresay I do not own a single pair of jeans that I would say fit me at least 90% well. (While I’m complaining, please ditch low-rise. I need way more than 3 inches between gut and glory.)

Now don’t you try and shame me with ultra-thin models whose thighs never touch and are exactly the same circumference at the top as they are at the bottom*. I’m on to your photoshop. Plus – haven’t you heard? – butt and thigh fat (or “gluteofemoral fat”) is an indicator of good health. And the more the merrier! In fact, having extra padding down there protects us girls from cardiovascular disease and diabetes, not to mention having smarter babies. Don’t believe me? Here’s the latest conclusions from researchers from Oxford university:

“Population studies show that an increased gluteofemoral fat mass is independently associated with a protective lipid and glucose profile, as well as a decrease in cardiovascular and metabolic risk. Studies of adipose tissue physiology in vitro and in vivo confirm distinct properties of the gluteofemoral fat depot with regards to lipolysis and fatty acid uptake: in day-to-day metabolism it appears to be more passive than the abdominal depot and it exerts its protective properties by long-term fatty acid storage. Further, a beneficial adipokine profile is associated with gluteofemoral fat. Leptin and adiponectin levels are positively associated with gluteofemoral fat while the level of inflammatory cytokines is negatively associated. Finally, loss of gluteofemoral fat, as observed in Cushing’s syndrome and lipodystrophy is associated with an increased metabolic and cardiovascular risk.” [Emphasis mine]

 

So are you telling me you want me to die young, Jeans Companies? Because I would think it would be better for your bottom (heh) line to keep customers around as long as possible. And the lengths I’d have to go to to take the dictated-by-you 3 inches off each thigh probably would kill me.

I get it. I have a body built for skirts. You should see me rock the heck out of a pencil skirt:

How do you like my thighs now, eh? 

But every once in a while I get the yen to sit without having to worry about going all Sharon Stone at the playground or be able to ride my bike without my skirt blowing up over my head or be able to, you know, live in Minnesota without getting an ice enema during the winter.

I’m not writing you to ask for my money back – I’m asking for my life back. I’m sick of caring about how “huge” my thighs are and honestly the only time they really bother me is when I’m wearing jeans. And this is why I live in skirts or workout leggings. Get your act together please.

Sincerely,

Charlotte

Has anyone else ever ripped the butt out of their pants on accident? (Thankfully I was at home when it happened so I don’t have to add it to my rapidly growing list of embarrassing moments!) Do you have any jeans recommendations for me? Were you surprised to learn that butt/hip/thigh fat is actually GOOD for women??

*I’m not slamming naturally thin girls. I’m just saying that I’m not one of them and therefore shouldn’t be held to the same sizing charts as they are.


192 Comments

  1. YES YES YES. I have a 14″ difference between my waist and hips/thighs (which are glorious and strong and do not need to get smaller), and even the “curvy” jeans have at most 11″, in my experience. I find it’s even worse with dress pants, because they don’t have as much stretch! You sew, right? Let’s start our own pants company and solve this problem!

    • I sew… badly! But whatever – let’s do this!! And you are SO right about dress pants. They’re a nightmare.

      • I too have a small waist and ample butt and thighs (no thigh gap here). I have never ripped the butt out of my jeans but did have the inseam that was weakened from rubbing when I walk totally give up the ghost when I was at WORK with 11-16 Year Old BOYS thankfully they were in oblivious mode that night. When I was in high school and had more time I decided to sew my own pair with a beautiful charcoal grey wide wale courderoy. I had to adjust the darts in the back (waistband to butt check) 6 Xs! And they were too high waisted because I’m petite and there wasn’t a separate pattern. And putting in zippers is a nightmare! This is why despite the hassle it is I go through 3 hours of shopping to find 2 pairs of pants that fit how I like because it still takes less time. This is why jeans manufacturers have us all between a rock & a hard place and why Yoga pants are taking over the world (so comfy).

        Just thought I’d let you know sewing skills unfortunately do not solve the problem :/

      • I too have a small waist and ample butt and thighs (no thigh gap here). I have never ripped the butt out of my jeans but did have the inseam that was weakened from rubbing when I walk totally give up the ghost when I was at WORK with 11-16 Year Old BOYS thankfully they were in oblivious mode that night. When I was in high school and had more time I decided to sew my own pair with a beautiful charcoal grey wide wale courderoy. I had to adjust the darts in the back (waistband to butt check) 6 Xs! And they were too high waisted because I’m petite and there wasn’t a separate pattern. And putting in zippers is a nightmare! This is why despite the hassle it is I go through 3 hours of shopping to find 2 pairs of pants that fit how I like because it still takes less time. This is why jeans manufacturers have us all between a rock & a hard place and why Yoga pants are taking over the world (so comfy).
        Just thought I’d let you know sewing skills unfortunately do not solve the problem :/

      • I too have a small waist and ample butt and thighs (no thigh gap here). I have never ripped the butt out of my jeans but did have the inseam that was weakened from rubbing when I walk totally give up the ghost when I was at WORK with 11-16 Year Old BOYS thankfully they were in oblivious mode that night. When I was in high school and had more time I decided to sew my own pair with a beautiful charcoal grey wide wale courderoy. I had to adjust the darts in the back (waistband to butt check) 6 Xs! And they were too high waisted because I’m petite and there wasn’t a separate pattern. And putting in zippers is a nightmare! This is why despite the hassle it is I go through 3 hours of shopping to find 2 pairs of pants that fit how I like because it still takes less time. This is why jeans manufacturers have us all between a rock & a hard place and why Yoga pants are taking over the world (so comfy). Just thought I’d let you know sewing skills unfortunately do not solve the problem :/

      • I too have a small waist and ample butt and thighs (no thigh gap here). I have never ripped the butt out of my jeans but did have the inseam that was weakened from rubbing when I walk totally give up the ghost when I was at WORK with 11-16 Year Old BOYS thankfully they were in oblivious mode that night. When I was in high school and had more time I decided to sew my own pair with a beautiful charcoal grey wide wale courderoy. I had to adjust the darts in the back (waistband to butt check) 6 Xs! And they were too high waisted because I’m petite and there wasn’t a separate pattern. And putting in zippers is a nightmare! This is why despite the hassle it is I go through 3 hours of shopping to find 2 pairs of pants that fit how I like because it still takes less time. This is why jeans manufacturers have us all between a rock & a hard place and why Yoga pants are taking over the world (so comfy).

  2. I never wear jeans, in large part because they don’t fit me!! I also have a body built for skirts. Sorry about your jeans, but it’s not you, it’s them 🙂 And you look amazing in that red pencil skirt!!! I can’t wear those either because I look like an ice cream cone!

    • Ah well my fave skirt is an a-line or a fit-and-flare — all you have to do is get them to fit your waist and everything else is golden!

  3. I love your tatas of steel and all that honesty! My problem with pants is that I’m nearly 6′ tall (6’3 in any heels worth wearing!) and jeans companies don’t like ladies like me. Ironic that their models need jeans this long, but they seem to think real women don’t.

    Very. Frustrating!

    ~Kari
    http://www.dreamingintherealworld.blogspot.com

    • Good point! You should come here – they have a store at the Mall of America called Long Tall Sally, just for the lengthy ladies:)

    • Hey Kari,
      I know you posted this awhile ago, but just thought I would pass on some knowledge if you are still looking for long pants. I’m 6′, size 11, and I completely understand about having jeans look like capris. Worst. Thing. Ever. I buy jeans from American Eagle, they have Extra long and the pant legs TOUCH THE GROUND! (okay, only if you’re wearing flats). The pairs I bought are made pretty well and I think they look nice. They are a bit pricey, but I always buy on sale. (They are totally worth it!) Dress pants also work here too (they sell in Extra long), but fyi, the material for the butt area is tighter than some might like. Sorry for the longwindedness and hope your quest for good jeans goes well!

  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ve been struggling with the disproportion between my waist and thighs. All my work pants seem to be getting tighter as I’m working out more. It’s discouraging to know your trying and it feels like your seeing negative results. I’m going to stop stressing about my thighs!

    • Yeah, when I workout my waist gets smaller but my shoulders and quads get bigger:) I’d rather be strong though – plus, research says we’re healthier! So yes, let’s embrace our thighs (although not literally because that would be awkward)!

  5. Haha.. Love this.. and love all your posts! Do you frequently wear leggings under your jeans? Or you put them back on just for show? 😉

    I haven’t yet ripped a pair, but I definitely carry my weight in my booty and thighs, and my increasing heavy squats are only helping to thicken them both up.. I’d much rather have curves though than a flat behind!

    • Hahah – nobody needed to see my pasty white thighs! Yes I put the leggings on underneath to make the pic decent; I don’t normally wear it that way. And I agree – love the curves!

  6. Oh how very very many times this SAME thing has happened to me and denim and my hulking, athletic thighs which only grow bigger the more I work out. Other things too! Other horrible things. Once, I was at work (on the set of a movie that came out recently), at my job which requires me to run cable sometimes in some weird places and do some climbing, etc. So, as I hoisted myself out of this little area on the side of a house and over a fence around it, RRRRIPPPP… my ‘worn’, 100% cotton jeans, levi’s silver which I thought was cool when I was 14, split from inner thigh to inner thigh. Across the crotch. The whole way. Kind of like the flap on red fleece onesie pajamas. Fun! I hate jeans companies for this reason. No one’s bodies are like that. Straight up and down with extremely thin legs. Even the “curvy” jeans think you just have big hips, but still have really skinny legs that can be crushed by the dreaded 100% cotton thing.

    • Okay first, I laughed. I’m sorry – you know I feel your pain! But that’s hilarious. Did you have anything to change into? Or at least a sweater to tie around your… crotch? Second, yes, 100% cotton is the devil. And third, “Even the “curvy” jeans think you just have big hips, but still have really skinny legs that can be crushed by the dreaded 100% cotton thing.” you NAILED IT. We are only allowed to be curvy in our boobs/hips/butt.

  7. Ugh, I have this problem too, as so SO many women I know. Like, more than half of my girlfriends that I know well enough to talk about this junk with. It is amazing how you can feel like a freak show even as you realize that your “problem” is incredibly common. How much money would a jean company make if they made jeans that actually fit our hips? They’d have a monopoly! But, instead, the GAP curvy fit jeans used to do the trick, but now they are too narrow again. THEY GOT WORSE! boo.

  8. I have the exact opposite problem – I’m an apple. Anything with a waistband below my belly button is very unflattering. Until I worked really hard to make my legs bigger (with muscle, not french fries :D) I had these tiny little stick legs and anything that fit my waist was baggy on my legs (which ruled out skinny jeans – so like 70% of what’s out there). I’ve found solace in thrift stores, which is where I get most of my bottoms.

    You look exquisite in a pencil skirt, mah dear :). My fave thing to rock is short shorts. When I don’t have bad bike/tri shorts tans, I get to show off my muscles!

    • Whatevs – my fave thing for you to rock are your running skirts!!! Nobody does a running skirt and knee-highs like you, lady! (That noise you hear is me whistling, except I can’t whistle so it sounds like a drowning bird. You’re welcome.)

      • Ha! Fun fact, I can’t whistle either. I’ve never thought of it sounding like a drowning bird but that is EXACTLY what it sounds like when I try! 🙂

  9. Ha ha ha!!! Yes yes yes!
    You are rockin’ that pencil skirt!

    I totally did this to a pair of pants the day of my second figure competition! I put them on after the show, squatted down and riiiiiiiip! Such a blow to my ego. He he!!!

  10. Yes, ripping the butt out of jeans is something that happens to me too. It’s good to know that this happens to other people. My biggest jeans complaint currently though is that they’ve made them all long enough to be worn with heels, but I’m only 5′ nothing, so it makes even the “short” jeans at least 6″ too long for me. Jeans just do not fit in any way at all. Not made for me.

    • Oh no! I have several friends who are in your same boat. We joke that one still doesn’t technically meet the height requirements for our state to be out of a booster seat… She was telling me she sometimes shops at kids’ stores to find jeans in her inseam. None of us can win, apparently…

  11. Amen, girl! I’ve split more pairs of jeans than I care to count. And that was when I was thin! I can’t even bear trying jeans on anymore, because they simply do not fit unless they are Mom Jeans.
    No thank you!!!!!!

    • I know! For all the crap people give mom jeans, they did allow enough room in the thighs without falling down around the waist!

  12. I always wondered why pants in general never quite fit…and realized in the last few years (after comparing catalog size charts) that most pant sizes assume a 10″ difference between hips and waist. And wherever I am at on the scale, I always have a 5″ difference. So I usually opt for comfort at the waist, which means baggy legs and rear. 😛 I have found a few brands of jeans that have some stretch to them that aren’t the pajama jeans, though I wouldn’t say they are exactly trendy. (Thank goodness for the untucked shirt look!)

  13. I always wondered why pants in general never quite fit…and realized in the last few years (after comparing catalog size charts) that most pant sizes assume a 10″ difference between hips and waist. And wherever I am at on the scale, I always have a 5″ difference. So I usually opt for comfort at the waist, which means baggy legs and rear. 😛 I have found a few brands of jeans that have some stretch to them that aren’t the pajama jeans, though I wouldn’t say they are exactly trendy. (Thank goodness for the untucked shirt look!)

    Oh, and have I got a ripped pants story for you: I was in high school and at the beach with friends. We were putting up a volleyball net, and I shimmied up the pole a little to tie the top part. I slipped, got caught on the bottom thing for tying the net ( looked like those hooks on docks for securing a boat), dangled for a moment or two, then…rrrrriiiiiippp! Big gash in the front of my pants! Luckily it was a foggy day and I had my sweatshirt!

    • Haha – I love it! I had a friend who ripped her pants similarly when we were climbing over a cemetery fence in high school. Good times!

  14. Wearing jeans RIGHT NOW that are ripped in EXACTLY that spot. And I love them too much (read: and too cheap) to replace them. I hate shopping for jeans because I can NEVER find that perfect fit. I ripped a pair RIGHT before an audition in 2004 (I was a dancer with THIGHS) and have killed every pair by ripping since. SO SAD.

    • How much do I love that you are still wearing them?! And give it up for dancers with thighs! I hate that whole myth of the “dancer’s body”. I’ve seen absolutely magical dancers in many different shapes.

  15. Ooh, so sorry your ripped a favorite pair of jeans! I had two favorite pairs in college and I wore them until they ripped because they became threadbare in the thighs/butt.

    Unlike you, however, I am a short apple (large waist with a natural muffin top even when nekkid (lucky ducky me, no?!), flat butt, and muscular thighs). Jeans are not generally flattering on me. I did find that Vanity and Maurices (the juniors stores – oh the horrors of shopping juniors when you’re 30+) sell somewhat reasonably priced jeans by waist and leg length that aren’t too bad. Otherwise, the more pricey brands usually fit me best – Joe’s Jeans, Calvin Klein, Silver brand (not Levi’s Silver, just Silver brand), but I own very few of them.

    Right now, though, I’m working on shedding some summer weight (am I the only person who gains in the summer and loses in the fall??) and so really, I stick with my workout yoga pants and knit skirts.

    • Ooh thanks for the Vanity/Maurices tip! I hadn’t been in one in decades (probably since high school) until a few months ago when I went with a friend. I didn’t check out their jeans but I’ll do that now! And the verdict seems to be in for Joe’s Jeans! I’ll go check them out as well (although my wallet is already weeping).

  16. “There is a 2-3 size difference between my waist and my thighs.” – Story of my life! I’ve always been a (more or less) curvy girl with big hips and thighs and a relatively small waist. I’ve never had a pair of jeans that really fits, I always need to wear a belt. So frustrating!
    The best way to deal with this, I guess, is to get them altered. Or buy custom-tailored ones. But who can afford that?
    I’ve ripped quite a few jeans in my life. Under my butt, inner thigh, outer thigh, whatever. Once it happened at the office. Unfortunately my shirt wasn’t long enough to cover the gap, so I ran around with my hand on the hole the rest of the day. Big sigh!

    • Yeah, at least I was at home when it happened! My kids thought it was h-y-s-t-e-r-i-c-a-l. My husband was smart enough not to laugh…

  17. I live in jeans, but I hate (hate hate HATE) the feel of stretch denim. There was a time when women’s jeans were made of the same denim as men’s jeans, no elastane in sight, Can we have those days back, please? Jeans don’t have to be skin-tight! (Actually, maybe men’s jeans would fit you better? They tend to be a bit looser around the legs. Just a thought!)

    But on a sciency note – I’d be careful interpreting the result here. It’s possible that there’s an interaction between amount of fat and type of fat distribution – that is, the effect of additional bodyfat on health depends on the type of body you happen to have in the first place. You’d need a very careful experiment design to identify whether that’s the case, or whether fat-in-the-bottom is a good thing all on its own.

    • Thanks for the tip about men’s jeans! I’ll have to check out the men’s section! As for the note about the experiment design, I think it’s def a valid point but it’s one the authors controlled for and addressed in the main study. I linked it but I think you may have to have a PubMed account to read beyond the abstract…

      • I wear mostly men’s jeans, but you do have to get low rise – don’t worry, that’s not nearly as low as with womens’ jeans – or else the button pokes your ribs when you sit and you may appear to have… extra, um, parts.

    • I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like stretch denim! Sales clerks always look at me like I’m crazy when I ask where I might find a pair of jeans without any stretch in them. Stretch denim never fits as well to start, and it just looks droopy instead of relaxed when it gets stretched out a bit.

  18. Oh I totally hear you on this! My thighs are even/ quite a lot bigger then yours. I used to hate my thighs, now I’m cool with them. BUT def still have issues with jeans. I usually try and squeeze my legs in and awkwardly walk around trying not to bend.

  19. They weren’t Angel brand, were they? That happened twice in a row to my daughter. (Which is why I made sure to remember the brand name.)
    They do have some really, really cute blue jean-print jeggings and corduroy jeggings at Macy’s (in the accessories dept. next to tights and socks) that would look killer on you. If I remember correctly, the pockets weren’t printed on, they were REAL pockets and rivets.

    • Haha no – I don’t think I’ve worn Angels since my freshman year of college! But good to know that they’re cheap, I’ll stay away! Thanks for the tips on the jeggings! I really like the sound of the courduroy ones!

  20. Totally worth it to spend the 10-15.00 dollars to get a great pair of jeans taken in at the waist. It does add to the cost of jeans, but I’d rather have 2 or 3 great pairs of jeans that fit and are comfortable and make me look good than 4 or 5 pairs that are sort of meh.

    • ” I’d rather have 2 or 3 great pairs of jeans that fit and are comfortable and make me look good than 4 or 5 pairs that are sort of meh” ME TOO.

  21. I have a small waist and big legs so I sometimes have my pants and skirts made for me. I often have the same conversation with the Taylor after he gets my measurements. They can not understand how I can have a bigger upper hip measurement than my lower hip. It’s called a TUMMY!!!

  22. I’m in the same boat as well. My thunder thighs don’t fit a thing. I also have a major bubble butt and have difficultly fitting into skirts as well. It’s very frustrating. It is even more annoying when you read magazines that talk about skirts or pants that are best for your type and the reality is those suggested skirts/pants DO NOT, and will not ever, fit me. ha! Apparently pencil skirts are best for me (you look stunning in yours!) but my bum just spills over everywhere and I get the thigh muscle bumps in the front. Same with jeans. Busted can of biscuits I don’t want to be. 🙂

    You should start a jean company!

  23. In the summer I pretty much live in skirts & dresses because pants (of any kind, and shorts) are just so hard. It’s hard to find a pair to fit, it’s depressing doing all that trying on. Plus, I’m 5 feet tall so everything is too long – even Petite sizes most of the time (and yes, you can hem, but I find pants never look as good once they’ve been hemmed). So I love not having to deal with pants when the weather is warm. Unfortunately, the dress wearing days are numbered – another month or so and I’ll be back to fighting with jeans & dress pants. 🙁

    • SO true about the hemming… Do jeans companies have some special hemming machine that no one else has to make those edges?!

  24. Sing it! And I lol’d so hard when I read that you “incredible hulked” your jeans. Perfect. I’ve stopped wearing jeans for the same reasons. It’s sad though, because when you do happen upon perfect fitting jeans, they are the best thing ever! Yoga pants for the win!!!!

  25. This is so timely! I was just this morning lamenting the sad state of my jeans drawer. Yes, I somehow have an entire drawer full of jeans and yet end up wearing the same pair over and over again. It’s partially due to my crazy fluctuating size but also due to buying a million ill-fitting pairs and never wearing them.

    I’ve recently been depressed that my fav jeans seem to be getting tighter around the thighs, despite all the working out, and I think it must be muscle. (I got past the panic attack that tells me I must be getting fat since when I gain weight that’s where it goes too.) Sigh. As if I didn’t have enough problems. I have NO butt either so at least before they would generally fit around the waist and thighs. Although they’d always be a bit baggy in the butt, I could live with it. I fit decently into Levi’s “slight curve”. But if I now have thighs, no butt, and a small waist? I think we’re in the same screwed boat Charlotte! Ugh! And the worst part is I work in labs so there’s freaking way I can wear anything but pants to work, even though I look great in skirts.

    • I think we are indeed in the same sad boat! Especially this: “also due to buying a million ill-fitting pairs and never wearing them.” I swear I have no concept of what I really look like because I have managed to buy a whole shelf of jeans that do.not.fit.this.body. Insane.

  26. I was six years old when I first realized my butt was too big (and waist too small) for jeans. I learned early on that my body was “wrong” and it ruined me for years… eventually leading to seven years of eating disorders. My feet were also “wrong” — size 10.5 as a teen. Now, I’m near 40 and have long since realized the fashion makers and retailers are the problem. For instance, large-sized shoes are made, but never stocked despite the average shoe size in the US increasing over time. Thanks for bringing light to the issue, Charlotte. If enough of us speak up, perhaps change will come.

    • Aw, this makes me want to hug 6-year-old you! No child should learn their body is “wrong”! And I hope change will come too…

  27. I found the solution a couple of years ago – have your jeans tailored. Buy them to fit the largest part of your bod (thighs in this case) and have the tailor nip in the waist. It’s a simple and cheap (less then $10) alteration. I love the idea of making the clothes fit ME instead of the other way around. This one’s a simple fix!

  28. As I’m sitting here in enormously uncomfortable jeans that squeeze both my “gut and glory” (you have no idea how much I love that phrase!) and my thighs in ways they were never meant to be squished (yes, I managed to buy a pair of jeans that gives me both muffin top and camel toe) I can totally relate to this post. NOTHING FITS. I try to buy dress pants because they are more forgiving in the thigh, and I find myself trying to find a pair of suspenders. Because that’s fashionable. And as for jeans, nothing has ever fit unless I was starving myself. My thighs are some of the biggest thighs I’ve seen on any woman of my weight/height and my bum is not so enormous that I can wear the jeans 2-3 sizes larger that I need to buy just to fit in my thighs. And let’s not even mention my calves/knees, which are so big that I essentially cannot even attempt to put on skinny jeans. It’s terribly unfair! I walk around feeling like a fashion failure, but the reality is that the clothes are failing me, rather than the other way around. Thanks for this!

    • YES: “the reality is that the clothes are failing me, rather than the other way around.” And I actually have some jeans that give me muffin top and camel toe at the same time too! It’s always such a hard decision when I stand up – do I yank them up to fix the muffin top? Or pull them down to fix the camel toe? (Or just chuck them in the garbage…)

  29. Sentence jeans to banishment. Seriously, everytime I wear those things, I’m left with huge divets and dents where the sticthing and buttons sit. 🙁 My legs look like encased saussages (tasty ones at that, cause they look fatty and juicy), and require a few squats to stretch out before going anywhere in public.

    Too tight you may say? Size up? Still too tight in the thighs but now the ass pockets reach around to the sides of my hips and there’s a gaping hole near the small of my back which when I sit, squat, bike and move around like a normal human being…. kicks the lycra stretch into overdrive and ensures that I could handle an eplosive diarreah episode without soiling the denim (maybe it’s a slef preservation feature).

    ANYHOW. I too discovered the magical power of the SKIRT and were it not for our Canadian winters, would banish those silly seperatist fabric contraptions. YOU LOOK AMAZING IN THAT PENCIL NUMBER SO JUST KEEP ROCKING THAT!!!

    Of note: ALLLLLLL of my jeans die this death you experienced, that’s just my cue to replace them!! 🙂

  30. I have the same problem! My thigh to waist ratio is off so jeans never look “right” on me!

    Thankfully we live in S. Florida so dresses, shorts, and skirts are really the way to go. I’m tempted to buy one pair of designer jeans – just so I can maaaaaybe have a pair that fit me well!

    • Yes, I keep hearing that designer jeans are worth the money but the only place I can find them is online and I’m too nervous to buy them without trying them on! (I know, there are returns…I’m lazy when it comes to the post office!)

  31. I’ve always had this problem- but not just with jeans. For a while I couldn’t every buy shorts that weren’t athletic shorts. If the waist fits, the legs will be too tight. I always just go for pants that fit my legs, and wear belts on top- never have to worry about a muffin top at least! Jeans with lycra (but still jeans- not leggings or jeggings!) have been very helpful, because the stretch helps them fit around my thighs. I have been able to find jeans I like that fit me pretty well (I wouldn’t say 100% perfectly, but really, who can buy clothes off the rack that fit 100% perfectly?). Have you tried lower rise jeans? If they are lower rise, then they will hit closer to your hips than your waist. My waist might be small compared to my thighs, but I have the hips of…well, someone with big hips. You probably don’t want to go all the way to low rise jeans, because you’ll never be able to sit or bend over, but mid-rise jeans might be a good compromise? (I can’t tell what rise your jeans are, but if your waist is the problem I am guessing they are higher rise).

    • Yes, I think mid-rise would definitely help! Low-rise jeans are too flash-prone for me! So glad you’ve found your perfect pair!!

  32. Sadly, those of us with a more male-pattern fat deposition (waist, lower back, stomach) are just kind of screwed. Just about any jeans will give me muffin top, and while I can rock a pair of shorts insofar as my legs are mostly muscle, pretty much all women’s clothing wants to bare the exact place that all my fat goes. Hip-hugger jeans are the bane of my existence because if they fit my hips, they don’t fit my waist. Pencil skirts are only sort of an option, because I have that lower-stomach paunch that shows up when I turn sideways in a skirt. Basically, having a spare tire really sucks.

    • That’s ok, hip huggers are the bane of my existence too because they’re always falling down. I’m not sure who they flatter, exactly!

  33. I’m fairly straight up and down so I don’t have this particular problem. But when you start your jeans company maybe you could make some for me too. My issue is that companies seem to think that waist size is related to height in plus size jeans. Um…just because I need to go up a size DOES NOT mean I grew 2 inches. 🙂

  34. I did that “knee to knee through the entire crotch tear” thing at BYU!!! I was getting on my horse in a horse husbandry class – all the way on one side of campus. Had to borrow the farrier’s long jacket and tie it around my waste and walk around the whole school to get home. Since, of course, you couldn’t wear jeans on campus. (And certainly not crotchless ones!!!) Sadly, at the time, it was Freshman Spread and not Amazingly Awesome Muscles that caused the blow out. Sigh.

    • I dunno – I’d say getting on a horse might give anyone a free pass for splitting their pants! So glad BYU changed their minds about jeans;)

  35. I haven’t read all the comments yet, so if someone’s already said this, mea culpa. But as a fellow athletic-thighed, small-waisted woman, the current popular jeans style that is called “sexy boyfriend” at the Gap and “slim boyfriend” at Loft (and I dunno what at other stores) fits me perfectly. In fact, I had to stop myself from buying another $80 pair of jeans that I really don’t need right now this weekend just because they fit and looked awesome. I’m afraid when I do nooed more jeans, they won’t be making this style anymore and I’ll be outta luck!

  36. Yep, ripped the butt out of my favorite jeans a few months ago by sitting down on the couch. Granted, they were well-worn jeans, but still, I was sad! I held off on buying a new pair to lose weight, but decided that a well-fitting pair of jeans makes me feel awesome, so I went ahead and purchased an identical new pair that I love almost as much.

    I’m happy to hear that butt and thigh fat is good for women because I have an abundance of it!

    • Good for you for not waiting! I have a huge box full of jeans and other stuff I haven’t been able to fit into since Jelly Bean was born. I really need to just get rid of it because she’s almost three and they just kind of make me feel bad.

  37. Skirts and dresses are so much easier for me to buy as well!
    I have a big bubble butt, a small(er) waist) and my thighs are a size smaller than my butt too. So I find it impossible to find jeans that fit me! I usually end up with skinny jeans that don’t go high enough so I have to wear a long top 🙁
    Why is it so hard for clothing company to make jeans that fit! Seriously 🙁
    I’m all for us all starting our own company haha
    Apart from that, I might try and see if J-Lo, Beyonce or even the Kardashians have some better fitted jeans collection out there…

  38. Bahaha! My husband actually ripped his jeans along the inside hem from crotch to knee the other day working in the yard. The man puts on leg muscle like Popeye puts on biceps when he eats spinach. I’ve seriously considered learning to sew for just this reason though. I’ve always been super curvy and have a very *ahem* southern booty, and it’s only been exacerbated by my lifting. Jeans seem to be the worst, but I can hardly find anything that fits, and dresses are just a nightmare. I was going to order a wrestling singlet online for when I complete in Powerlifting, and just gave up after measuring myself for the size chart. By weight I was medium, waist small, chest large, and hips above extra large. Needless to say, I don’t have a lot of clothes. =( Can we go back to having everything tailored, please???

    P.S. You looking AMAZING in that pencil skirt and top. Wow!

    • Aw thanks! And I have to say this is one of the primary reasons I learned to sew. I make almost all my own dresses and skirts and some tops from buying what I like (usually vintage or thrift) and then tailoring. The only thing I haven’t figured out how to tailor are jeans. Denim is hard to work with!

  39. this is my body to a T. I have some skirts I can wear that are a size 2 because they are high waisted and full….but pants? I need a roomy 6 or an 8….and they’ll be tight around my thighs but so loose around my waist that they pooch out making me look pregnant. Hence why I wear skirts about 99% of the time!

  40. I have to second someone else’s comment – I recently and successfully purchased some jeans at both the Gap and Loft. The ones from Gap are especially nice because although they’re skinny jeans, they have a Mid Rise! Yay! No more muffin top (well, it’s not completely gone, but at least less noticeable!)! I’ve also noticed a lot of companies have started sizing their jeans according to waist (I think?) measurement rather than standard sizing (00-16, which is totally arbitrary) – maybe this will help?
    Back when I was a cool (poor) grad school student, I ripped my favorite pair of Levis (men’s 501s which were old-fashioned so completely cotton) but not in the back – between the thighs because mine have always rubbed together. I kept patching them up because I loved them so much but it just got ridiculous (and maybe gross) so I finally gave up. I still miss my 501s!

    • Yes, bring back waist sizes! I had 501s in high school:) Thanks for the Gap tip – I’m totally going to check those out!

  41. I did the same thing.

    At my old job.

    While doing handstands in an empty office at lunch.

    Good thing I had a spare pair in my car!

  42. I hear ya. It has happened to me. I have an apple bottom booty and my waist is smaller, making a good pair of jeans hard to find…so I usually wear a good fitting pair until they commit denimcide.
    You look fantastic my dear. I agree with you completely – yours and my healthy strong legs look fantastic! I rocked a pencil skirt at my defense today and felt like a million dollars 🙂

  43. Men have this problem too. I have big legs and a small waist. I haven’t fit well in a pair of jeans in forever.

  44. Yay! Thanks for making me feel “normal” 🙂 I’ve ripped out the crotch to my jeans once… while vacationing… in a taxi… with ONE male (platonic) friend. It was pretty sexy, just saying.

    I have found that “stretchy” jeans work really well for my giant-butt-giant-hips-smallish-waist ratios. I have a few pairs of seven for all mankind jeans (they use a deceptively stretchy denim which can be annoying because your jeans stretch out as you wear em–I was wearing 3 sizes too large because I didn’t realize how much they stretch!! but as a trade off for potential sizing issues, they are super comfy and mold well to my shape) which have yet to rip. They ended up being a decent investment for me (on sale/sample sites so much cheaper) because they’re so durable.

    If you have a smaller budget, I also love the $12 skinny jeans from Forever 21. I have 3 pairs that I’ve been wearing for the past 3 years and they haven’t ripped yet (??? Weird, right?). I think they also have ~$12ish non-skinny jeans, but try not to look for “stretchy fabric” here because I’ve found that teen “stretch jeans” are much too flexible for my 20-something tastes. I’ve yet to buy their $30ish non-budget jeans because that’s kind of missing the point of forever 21!

    So basically, find a brand/style you love and just keep buying those. Ignore all others!

    Also, you are totally rocking out that skirt. Yowza.

    • THis: ” I’ve yet to buy their $30ish non-budget jeans because that’s kind of missing the point of forever 21!” made me LOL. I have totally had that same thought myself! I’m browsing and all “ooh cuuuute” then see full price on the tag and feel totally ripped off:)

  45. Effective solution from an “athletic thighs” girl who wears conservative pants to work: Get them altered. I buy over large pants and get all my waistlines taken in. It’s less than 10$ per pair and you can rock a tiny waist big booty combination all day without showing butt crack when seated or looking like you are about to bust a seam.

    I could never find pants, so I make them fit. And skirts would just be awkward for my particular branch of engineering. Also, engineers need to look professional so I need clothes that fit.

    You do need a competent seamstress though.

  46. Yes!!!!! I’ve totally done that… Wow!!!! I wrote about it on my blog but seriously, your pictures are cuter. http://kaylahoward.com/fatter

    Loved you fun article. Lol… And remembering when that happened to me.
    Kayla

  47. Don’t get me started on the jean dilemma. My favorite pair of jeans for the past 4 years no longer fit. I can fit into them, but my body has changed – smaller in some areas and bigger than others after the babies. So sad b/c I LOVED those jeans but they won’t stay up, and a belt doesn’t help. It’s like I had no hips all of a sudden or something b/c after a few hours of wearing them, they start showing way too much crackage. Honestly, I’d live in maternity jeans if I could. Love the wide waste band. So comfy! I did find some jeans at Target last week that I kind of love. They’re boot cut and have a medium rise (don’t do low rise either), and they were less than $30!!! My husband practically fainted as I’ve been known to spend much more on a good pair of jeans.
    P.S. Yeah, you totally rock the pencil skirt. 🙂

    • Yes! I always tell people that while I can get back to my pre-preg weight, I’ve never regained my pre-preg shape! So sorry that yours is not cooperating but congrats on the new (cheap!) jeans. I’ve never had any luck w/ Target pants..

  48. *smaller in some areas and bigger IN others. It’s like I HAVE no hips all of a sudden. Sorry, didn’t proofread. 🙂

    • I love the maternity waistband EXCEPT that my thighs pull down anything not held up by suspenders or grippy tape. Slim-cut knees are the bane of my jeans-buying existence.
      When the relaxin fades, it is in fact possible to wind up with narrower hips than you had before the pregnancy/ies. I have no intention of trying for that or I’ll never find another pair of non-yoga pants to wear as long as I live!

      • I could only do the maternity pants with the full band that goes up over my belly. Anything under-the-belly fell right down…

  49. Yes. So yes to this. There are only a few inches difference between the measurement of my waist and ONE thigh. Seriously. Try putting a pair of jeans on that. Sigh.

  50. Big thighs are good?! Amen, sista! I was once told by a high school boyfriend that I had ‘good child bearing hips.’ Um, I was in high school and not even thinking about kids, and when I did have kids, my hips did not bear his children!

    I love my Express ReRock jeans – they fit perfectly!

    • I too have got the “you have good birthing hips” thing before! I don’t know if it’s a compliment really… Thanks for the Express tip!

  51. This reminds me of when I used to do cardio in blue jeans when I was in college. How the heck did I do that?!

    Also I have a friend who skis in jeans. I keep trying to talk him out of it but he insists he is comfortable. Then one day we were driving along and saw a bumper sticker that said “Dick Cheney skis in jeans.”

    He bought some ski pants the next day.

    • A) I think the real question is WHY in the heck did you do that?! B) Best story of my day. Your friend is awesome.

  52. loved this post, as it is so true for us. we never can find a pair of jeans that really fits our body type, we love large legs and butt but have small waist, so no pair of jeans fit us. plus we are not that tall, so jeans usually are really long on us. wish more jean companies actually made jeans for more style body types!

  53. The best jeans I have encountered due to my plentiful thighs and rear are Tahari. They are super expensive if you buy them full price, but I have gotten them at TJ Maxx and/or Marshalls for less than $30. Love them. I am actually sad because the last two pairs I bought were size 8’s and I have since lost weight and they are getting loose!

  54. OK – I have to just say that you LOOK AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY!!!!!!

    I have a weird body type too but a bigger waste – not smaller & yes, muscular legs – so hard to find the right fit – the stretch ones work better for me with my legs! 😉

    No skirts here – I have bad bad feet & can’t even wear real shoes! :-O

    • Oh Jody, you have a fan-freaking-tastic body! I’m sure you look fab in anything you put on, real shoes or no:)

  55. For all of you with hard-to-fit measurements, consider custom-made. Not really so expensive anymore (can get a pair starting at around $40; $60 for “cool” fabrics and seaming). For a review of several companies (there are many more options if you do a Google search), see: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703805004575606533495860918.html

  56. yep, I totally did that too 😉 just stepped up on a step and ripped was my jeans…and I’m having a hard time finding a fitting pair too!! so hopefully the jeans manufacturer hear you 😉 have a nice day!!

  57. Love your blog and can relate to so much of what you post, Charlotte. Thanks for brightening my days…

    I would pay a fortune for a perfect pair of jeans.

    The closest I have come to finding ones that fit well are Cruel Girl relaxed fit jeans. And they make them in stretch and regular cotton. Not all the styles fit but I found a few that seem to have ample thigh room and smaller waists. Not crazy-pricey either.

  58. You are so right! I have the same problem with jeans that you do. Too big in the waist but a little snug in the hips and even more snug in the thighs! I don’t bother to even look at a pair of jeans if it has the word “skinny” on the tag. And to compound the problem, I am only 4’11” tall! So even if the jeans are sized “short” they are still too long! I have been buying jeans at consignment stores in one or two sizes up from what I normally wear. They are pre shrunk and fit pretty well, especially the length.

  59. YES a million times! The other day I actually had someone say “this is the first time I’ve EVER seen you in pants.” That is because no pants fit so I’m stuck with skirts! I am so glad that I’m not the only one who doesn’t own a single pair of jeans that actually FIT. Being a pear is hard.

    • It IS hard! Skirts are fun but I’d like the option of jeans sometimes. It is comforting to now I’m not the only one…

  60. I wonder where sprinters find their jeans? Or if they just wear warmups all the time?

    Frankly, I mostly find jeans annoying for their lack of mobility. I’ve been trying to sit around in the vaunted Third World Squat (http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do?id=1856085) and it’s pretty hard to do in jeans without, in my case, exposing my underwear.

    • I love that squat! (Except I’ve always called it the birthing squat) And yes, nearly impossible to do in jeans. Even if you get stretch jeans you have the flash factor, like you pointed out! But kudos to you for squatting!! No clue about the sprinters…

  61. Yes My Dear, I have !
    I have finally found jeans that fit pretty much ok even though I look like I have on Jodpher’s for some reason if you are a larger size You have to have saddlebags for thighs… (I have Real thighs Not the emaciated model thighs No real Butt to speak of although I do have a shape, with @ 3ft of legs~ Dang I sound Like a hottie! )
    anyway these jeans Spilt from the inside top back and traveled to the inside seam .. of course I was pulling the HUGE Recycling bin off the lawn On a major trough street where my Mother’s neighbours and everyone on their way to and from the Shops coudand did see.. NOT because Mom was standing on the porch yelling to me OH MY ! YOU SPLIT YOUR PANTS!! ok Ma Thanks ” Pretty Underwear ??” ok

  62. And this is why I don’t wear pants anymore. My hips are about 15″ bigger than my waist so I am all about the A-line skirt/dress. In the winter I have learned that fleece-lined boots and thick tights are my friends. I have a couple of pairs of jeans that are “Curvy” and kind of fit me, but I don’t really feel pretty in them. I feel more like I have sausage thighs. Sausage thighs that can freestyle kick me past everyone else on my Masters swim team!

    • This: “Sausage thighs that can freestyle kick me past everyone else on my Masters swim team!” totally made me grin:)

  63. My latest joke about my rear is that I don’t carry a purse so that I can fill my back pockets and look as if I have a butt.
    I go up and down ladders all day( I’m a painter) and do exercise to build my legs and rear, or I would have even less.
    Well, a romp through the kid’s section usually fixes my jeans issues. Straight body from the waist down, only 5 inches difference between waist and hip, and I’m short. Justice For Girls works out really well for me. Sadly I can not buy bras there. Or anywhere, almost. I am only 33 inches around the rib cage and I lose track of how many “D’s”.
    Bras are my sore spot.

    • We have the exact opposite issues, lol!

    • Kam, have you tried the company Title 9 for bras? They have a good selection especially of sports bras. I found this blog looking for suggestions of pants for my 11 year-old daughter who is no longer the shape for the boys style pants she loves. It is a great blog and I love the comments! Thanks all for adding some very entertaining reads to my evening–I love to reading about all these strong and well-built women (not being one myself)! I have long wondered why shoe and clothing manufacturers seem to have no idea what shapes women come in. . .

      • Thanks for the tip. I am currently down to one bra that is just getting too big ( I started running and lose first in my rib cage and shoulders), and has a broken fastener. I did have two but the underwire broke!
        I have actually managed to build up my legs and rear some. Not to the pants busting point, but I get the whole frustration now of that gap at the waist!

  64. I’m an apple and the only pants that ever fit me correctly were junior Levi’s. Then they discontinued my style and I couldn’t find any pants that stay up. Once my pants fell off as I ran for the bus in front of a stadium before a Trailblazers game. There were hundreds of people there. They fell past my knees. That was around the time my pants protest began. SAY NO TO PANTS!!

    • That has got to be one of the worst embarrassing moments ever! No wonder you’re on a pants protest!

  65. Ill-fitting jeans are the story of my life. I have a healthy butt and thighs, but a comparably small waist (I’ve enjoyed all the recent literature saying this is what men prefer!). I always had a big gap in the back. I was really excited when jeans started being made out of stretchier material – no more badly sewn fixes on my part. My last pair of jeans was from Urban Outfitters, and no complaints yet. Although in the past my pants always wore out in the inner thigh, and I spotted this starting and got it reinforced at a dry cleaner.

  66. Hahahahaha! How perfect. I did the SAME EXACT THING two nights ago. I was wearing an old favorite pair of jeans, squatted to grab something and tore them up. Glad I am not the only one. I think we should just all switch to crazy flowing hippie dresses and skirts! At the gym! Woo!

  67. I haven’t read through all of the comments, but I wanted to comment because I think I finally found some jeans that I like. Judging from your pictures, I would guess that we have very similar body types/sizes. Maybe my butt is a little bigger. 🙂 Anyways, go to LOFT and just try on their curvy jeans in a size or two smaller than you would usually buy. These jeans are a little higher on the waist to hide some muffin top but are not mom jeans. With the smaller size the waist fits and the legs are still plenty roomy. If they’re not for you, you have nothing to lose, but I’d suggest giving it a try. Good luck!

  68. When this happened to me (tore a hole right in the crotch area) I blamed it on the poorly made jeans and not on my “athletic” thighs. I mean, really, how could I have possibly caused the tightly woven fabric of my jeans to lose integrity and come apart? I remember complaining to my husband that they just don’t make jeans like they used to and that the reason this happened was because I was rotating between 2 pairs of jeans and thus washing too frequently. So, to fix this problem I need to acquire many more pairs of poorly made jeans and wash them less frequently. Oh, screw it, it’s my thighs. I’m a group fitness instructor and personal trainer. It’s definitely my thighs.

  69. Wow this post must have hit a nerve. So many comments!

    Perhaps you should try out custom jeans? I came across this site the other day ( http://getwear.com/ ) after seeing some nice jeans a girl was modelling on her blog. Thought I’d check out the site, and they do a whole custom size/design/everything set up for a surpisingly affordable price. I haven’t bought any jeans myself yet, but seriously considering it. Maybe you should give it a go, and be my getwear guinea pig 🙂

  70. need to fit into your skinny jeans… check out http://www.kipositive.breesystem.com just sweitch your coffee to BSkinny Coffee – you will be amazed!

  71. IKR?!?!? I am so SICK of jeans being supersuper tight around my thighs but still too loose around my waist! And i ESPECIALLY can’t wear skinny jeans because I run cross country and so have relatively bulky calves! i say we just boycott pants altogether…

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  74. I have a similar problem… more on the opposite end of the scale, though. With my PCOS making me retain weight around my middle, my waist is a good 2-3 sizes bigger than my legs. If I buy pants to fit my waist, I SWIM in them everywhere below the waistband, and if I buy them to fit and look right in the legs, but and lower waist, then I can’t close the stupid things, and I always have A bad case of muffin top when I sit down. Almost every pair of pants you find narrows at the waistband… right where I’m the biggest. It’s so frustrating.

    And I’m tall, which exacerbates the issue of finding anything that fits dramatically. Why if you look for tall clothing, so much of it granny elastic waist pants and old lady styled crap… or super expensive? All the best looking clothes seem to be in the petite section. Why can’t they just size those same styles for taller women? Even before the kids when I was good and skinny, I had a devil of a time finding stuff that fit and looked good on me. Stupid clothing companies!

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  78. I don’t know about your thighs since I can’t see them. But I do like your calves. They’re very toned and shapely and have great definition.

  79. OMG I have the same problem! I have to buy size 9-10 and I end up having a big space in teh butt and wearing a belt! My thighs aren’t big, just muscular. I can’t find a pair of pants to fit my waist, and if it does, my thighs hold the legs so tight that it pulls the pants down. WTF? I tried mens pants (cause I need mens shirts for tops since my shoulders are wide from swimming) and they don’t account for our hips. I suffer in winter when I have to wear cargo pants with thermals, or layer up over my yoga pants. Even these stretch jeans (which I hate cause they’re so flimsy) don’t cut it. What do you do?

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  81. I saw this while loosing hope trying to find a pair of pants. Its winter and all I can wear are dresses and skirts because my hips are a whopping 15″ bigger than my waits (I still cant believe that) I’m not athletic but I’m not that big either, If I look at a size 42″ hip on a size chart I end up in the xl/xxl/xxxl section, yet my waist is still in the small section. I hate pants that are too close and uncomfortable and I’m not too much of a skirt person. I am at a lost as to what to do. I think I’ve exhausted the internet and the stores within my reach… What to do!?!

  82. I am cursed with a larger (straight) waist and big thighs. Jeans for me do not exist. I wear jeans, don’t get me wrong, but because of low rises and lots of Lycra, I always have a muffin top. And I’m forever having to hike up my jeans (my larger waist makes me hate belts, so I do not wear them). I will admit my recent weight gain has not helped matters, but even at a size 8, I had this struggle. I loooooved my jeans back in the 90s, when they didn’t stretch, and they were actually proportioned to fit me. I never even thought about them. AND I was told by male friends that I wore jeans particularly well. (I still bask in those comments.) Nowadays, I find jeans shopping nothing short of a massive chore and an exercise in humiliation. What seems to finally fit after a long say at the shops then tends to look crappy after having been worn for an hour or so. Why does Lycra make leggings fit fine, but jeans never fit at all, unless you are a super-skinny type? And why are 100%-cotton jeans so hard to find, when no one seems to like the alternative? It makes me want to start a denim company.

  83. Haha! I was play sparring with my dad once and ripped the but of my jeans when I threw a roundhouse at his head. Hurray that the rip wasn’t too big and my back was to a wall. My sisters laughed their heads off.

    I fit jeans just like you: thighs yes, butt not so much.

  84. I hear you completely! My husband doesnt’ understand. My thighs are 24” which isn’t that huge, but when you got a spare tire to go with it and all, it makes finding jeans and shirts hard to wear. The pants are lower and the shirts are shorter. The legs of these jeans are too tight that I have to go up multiple sizes, but then they are huge in the waist! I can’t wear skinny jeans and fun boots because those are even worse than regular jeans. Sigh……I hear ya and I loved the message!

  85. I have always had the same issue with finding jeans. I have a small waist, no hips, small butt, and muscular thighs. I grew up on a farm/ranch so I learned early, this is the fit body of someone who does a lot of working out or working on a farm/ranch. Try shopping at some western stores, I find some of the cutest jeans there. Don’t be scared in thinking all they have is the old styles that are obviously for riding horse in, they have updated styles to be much more modern. The western jeans generally also have some stretch to them because they are made for a girl work works (or works out!).

  86. I am only 5′ tall and in very good physical condition. I was a gymnast and cheerleader throughout my youth and continue to reflect the “gymnast” shape. I have always had short, muscular legs, and finding jeans has been an issue my entire life. I am SO not a fan of skinny jeans, as I wish that “fad” would “fade”. I am most comfortable wearing leggings or fitness apparel in the Wnter. Summer is my best friend because I LOVE skirts and sundresses! I am happy and pleased to have read about all of the experiences on here, and I hope to read more in the future!

  87. Yes, I realize this article old, but I’m going to respond anyway, because I thought it was hilarious, and can totally relate, as I found it on a search for jeans that fit.

    I compete in bodybuilding competitions, and have a very small frame to start with. This translates into a 21.5″ waist, 31″ hips, and 20″ quads. When I buy skirts, I’m typically a 00, and sometimes that’s even too big in the waist. For pants (unless they are considerably stretchy), I can sometimes squeeze my legs into a 2. Sometimes this fails. I recently hulked out of my favorite pair of skinny jean/jeggings. (I flexed my leg, and they ripped in a similar fashion to yours.)

    Someone SERIOUSLY needs to start a line of clothing for fit/muscular women.

    • AMEN to this! Truly I do not know why this has not been done yet. There are so many of us! (Also, I’m glad to know I’m not the only fit girl who’s “hulked out” her jeans!)

    • PZIJeans is the company you are looking for! They designed their jeans for curvy women and all the jeans are 2 1/2 sizes smaller in the waist than in the hip! They are great! And they also have inseam options (short/regular/long and I think they even have X/Long)

  88. I had to respond because I found this hilarious. I was searching online for jeans suggestions, because I ripped my favorite jeans right across the thigh, and came across your post. I wanted to add my additional jean shopping drama, which is that I have really long legs. Sometimes I can find pants that fit my thighs and butt perfectly, but then are too short. I had been buying the 917 jeans from The Limited, but they no longer offer them in a skinny jean style. Meh, back to the drawing board. The next time I find a pair that works, Im gonna stock up.

  89. YES! to be honest, I actually searched google with the title “why cant sprinters fit into jeans”, because I was so desperate to find someone with the same problem!! I am indeed a sprinter/weightlifter, and I find it VERY difficult to fit into anything but leggings, sweatpants, or skirts. I honestly thought I was going insane or my body was blowing up, but now I see that im NOT the only one! After reading everything you wrote, I breathed a sigh of relief! All of my friends are stick skinny and the metabolism to eat 10 cheeseburgers a day and not gain a single pound. I am the only one out of all my friends who has ripped 2 pairs of jeans (not to mention in the middle of English class), due to my growing quads. It is track season, and I have given up on jeans and dress pants entirely. I thought pre-season track training was bad, but ohhhh all the new pairs I bought because of the growth, now DONT fit at all. I’ll be rocking the leggings and skirts for now on instead of paying for the taylor to fix my waist-to thigh ratio problem.

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  91. Ok- this makes me feel so much better about my thighs- I swear. The women in my family have what we call “Metzger thighs”- meaty strong legs- all of us. We even come up with “Metzger leg problems” like the leg opening on your running shorts are completely filled by your thigh. Ohh well- better to squat with, my dear. Even this week a distressed pair of jeans I had added a new gaping hole where my thigh tried to escape out the top- sexy- looks like I’m adding a patch on the patch…

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  97. I’m a kettlebell instructor and I spend 90% of my life in stretch pants because jeans don’t fit me the way they use to. I have buns of steal and thighs that can crush walnuts (or break a guy’s neck, whatever) and it is so depressing for me to put on jeans to the point I actually start crying. I know I’m fit and strong as hell but it sucks that this stupid article of clothing can destroy my self esteem by trying to wiggle my way into jeans. AND FYI it’s not fat it is muscle and NOT malleable. My only luck has been Ann Taylor jeans that have lycra in them, but they are skinny jeans and it makes my butt look so huge, plus the waist feels like it comes up to my breasts. So many of my female students suffer from the same ill fitting-jean syndrome.

  98. THANK YOU!!! I feel soooo much better knowing that there are girls who struggle with jeans too! It drives me NUTS that jean companies based their proportions off stick models and then KEEP THE SAME PROPORTIONS for every size up from that. Seriously?? That definitely is not how most women are! Any pair of jeans that fits my thighs and butt always has a huge gap in the waist. And then the start sliding down during the day since they don’t fit well at the waist. I find that although normal jeans don’t fit me, neither do curvy ones either! Most “curvy” jeans are built for women with a certain amount of curve. I don’t have enough of a curve to fill out the curvy jeans, so they just look baggy and mom-esc instead. I vote we go on strike. OCCUPY JEAN COMPANIES.

  99. I’m a little late commenting here, but I have the exact same problem as you. I am a swimmer, so swimmer thighs + genetically nonexistent butt = no jeans to be found. I’m from Indiana, and we have a chain of stores called “Maurices” (not sure if they have them where you are). I have gotten comfortable jeans from them (although they do sag a little at the end of the day), but my favorite but has been their corduroy pants. SO comfy, with plenty of stretch. Check out the website!

  100. I just read your blog and cracked up!!! It’s almost a shame these days to admit that you workout ferociously, have a small waist, mega arms, ample thighs and a curvacious behind. There are times when I just shrug and feel like a little incredible hulk. I dead lift 250# on average. And, to add insult to injury, I am 45! Most times I feel like I’m an alien. My body type is a mystery and thus I cannot find clothes to fit me. I am too old to dress like x, but too young to dress like y! The only clothing that seems to do justice to my shape is vintage, which I love or clothing from Athleta. But, I get tired of having to wear workout pants. Sometimes I feel like wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Is it toooo much to ask for a pair of decent jeans? I have found one pair of jeans and I mean one that has come close to fitting my curves – Levis supreme curve. But good lord they cost me $75 and I’m tall. They didn’t carry tall at the time. Three years later….the waist now has a gap (sad face). So, its so nice to hear that other women experience the same issue and we can encourage each other to be fit and strong and screw the rest. I figured that when I got older, things would change. But, they haven’t. I’m more active now then I was when I was 25. The search continues!

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  103. Amen Sista!!! I am almost 3 sizes smaller in the waist than it the thighs. My best cure is PZIJeans! They are designed by and for curvy women! And you should see their models on the website! They are real! Not a thigh gap in the bunch! My waist is small enough that even with their beautifully helpful jeans, the waist is still a tiny bit looser than I would like but it is a bazillion times better than your average jeans. You should check them out!

  104. I have the opposite problem My waist fits a 22w but my thighs still fit into my 15 juniors that I have from years ago.try finding jeans that fit that demographic. its like all plus size jeans include birthing hips a large butt and big thighs I know I cant be the only person out there that has a plus size waist with no butt and small thighs.

  105. Great site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics discussed in this article?
    I’d really love to be a part of group where I can get advice from other experienced people that share the same interest.

    If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Bless you!

    My web site … leggings for Women Cheap

  106. I have been having problems buying jeans for my 11 year old, who is soon to be 12. Her body has already started to develop curves, she is athletic and dances 7+ hours a week, as such she has leg muscles, not as much thighs but her calves are bigger than a twig. What I am finding is that the normal purchasing area, the thrift stores as they still have straight leg jeans are out of them now, it is boot cut or skinny, skinny leg cut. What happened to straight leg. I can not believe that every kid can fit into skinny leg, and when did skinny leg become skinny skinny leg, and super skinny leg. Guess I am going to have to start buying her jeans from CABI as I know they are made in the US and for actual women here. Those are the only jeans I own and even those need to have the back in the waist taken in some.

  107. I, too have an issue with jeans fitting, get a better fit in men’s jeans, but not only is fitting jeans for adults is a pain, a lot of little girls (one’s with the “plump bootys”) jeans styles are cut with the “low hip style” leaving the little dears with a “plummer crack” and them trying to keep them pulled up and belts don’t help! I am wishing that this comment makes it to the people who can do something about this. The jeans are cute but they can be more attractive and comfortable if they were cut like “mother jeans” to fit . Even the some of the ones with the elastic to size in the waist are cut to short and leaves a view! Please take this serious, my “little girlfriends” are struggling to maintain dignity yet have a piece of mind-not having to keep adjusting their jeans! Thanks & LOL

  108. I stumbled on this right after I THOUGHT I got dressed today bent over and *rip* right in my inner thigh so sad favorite jeans. I wear a 4-6 with thighs that fit an 8 I was told by my step sister its probably because I walk everywhere… Why is it okay for every other woman to walk in California but me?

  109. Thank you for writing this article! Now I know I’m not alone! Yesterday I was walking around all day wearing a pair of Lucky jeans that were digging into my upper thighs – finally they gave up and I got the usually hole around my upper-thigh area. Time to toss those out and replace with another experiment. I thought I was the only one with this problem. I am a runner with muscular legs and butt, but am also generally bigger all over. Smaller waist, but also a little tummy pooch that won’t go away. Imagine my problems finding pants/jeans. Sigh. I have had EVERY. sIngle. Pair. Of jeans develop a hole in the upper thigh. Like you said, stretch is worse because the fabric is so flimsy. But non-stretch or less-stretch styles are usually not very modern. I have a pair of Levi boot cuts which fit great in my butt and thigh, but then with my lower legs and knees I can literally hold back half of the jean material with my hand and that’s when it would look right. I really hate all clothes in general.

  110. I tend to wonder why adult jeans can’t have the adjustable elastic that children’s pants have in the waist?
    Not too fashionable I imagine.

  111. I think all pants should have a sort of elastic waist, something of a classic style. I love that idea. All the pants that fit me had this elastic thing. As for fashion or sports, it all depends on the material if it is a good stretchy thick polyester and if it is a good cut and length, then it could be great for office. I hate yoga pants or those leggings or any pants that are too fitted all the way down the leg. if only women/girls knew how stupid they look out in public with such attire. I see these university students wearing jeans with ripped up knee areas. How ridiculous? Are they not embarrassed?
    I find that manufacturers make regular pants just too wide at the waist, too short from crotch to waist, and too tight at the thighs. On top of making them way too long. All this in each size! So obviously women aren’t going to buy pants and will take a long time to find a well-designed classic pant.

  112. With a 12 inch difference between my waist and hips, almost all jeans gap at the waist for me unless I go to a tailor and get them taken in. I’m a runner so I also have muscular thighs and jeans that fit at the thighs are way too big at the waist. I get so jealous of my husband who can walk into a store and pick out jeans in his size that fit perfectly within a few minutes while it takes me literally hours to find ONE pair that doesn’t even fit 100% right. More often than not, I would go to almost every store at our mall only to leave empty handed. My other female friend is all of 5 feet tall and even jeans that are labeled as “petite” or short are still too long on her. When are jean companies going to learn that most women are NOT stick thin, straight up and down and over 6 ft tall? It’s so depressing! I’d pay a fortune to find perfectly fitting jeans but I’m starting to think that the perfect jeans for me doesn’t exist unless I go the “custom” way. UGH!

  113. It’s not just women. I’m a tall, thin dude and I’ve totally given up on buying jeans mainstream. They simply don’t make them for me. They are made for undersquare waist-inseam ratios and usually have spandex to boot. All of my pants, including jeans, are custom tailored and very expensive. Women do seem to need a much wider range of fits than men do. My problem is rare for men.