Swallowing My Pride In the Gym: Going Back to Basics (And Poking Random People in the Back)

See this is why my squat form sucked! I forgot my lucite heels!

Upon meeting me, the first thing my scary smart Lifetime Fitness trainer, Steve, did was have me stand in front of him facing a gigantic mirror. As he put his hands gently on my shoulders he said, “I want you to see what I see.” Now, lest you think this is going to turn into a touchy-feely after-school special where we talk about how awesome I am, Trainer Steve was actually assessing me for muscular imbalances. So what he saw was slightly flattened arches, a right knee that bends in when I squat, a “winged out” left scapula and a right hip flexor that is apparently so tight it’s throwing off the rest of my body. “You don’t have any injuries? Really??” he asked incredulously. “Because you should.” (For the record, I saw a girl with a supercute hot pink top that she made herself out of a repurposed pajama top – DIY workout gear, for the win!)

And then he tricked me. “We need to test your upper body strength so get down into a plank position and touch your other hand back-and-forth as fast as you can for one minute.” Eager to please and nervous about having my weakest area publicly tested I went full out. I got to 99 before the time ran out. “I just needed 1 more!” I panted. “Yeah, the number doesn’t really matter,” he smiled. “We were actually looking to see if your hips move when you move your upper body. And they do. Ideally you’d stay straight the whole time.” I hate surprise tests. Especially ones I fail. Ego check on aisle 1!

But Steve was doing me a huge favor because the whole point of this test is to correct my muscular imbalances and dysfunctional movements. And heaven knows after 10 years of bearing babies, toting toddlers and being unable to walk anywhere without someone literally hanging off my leg, I have some issues. Fixing these problems now will help me avoid injuries in the future and, as Steve promised me, give me more power and efficiency in the workouts that I love. “You’ll be amazed at how easily stuff will come to you once you’ve got the correct neural programming.” (I WILL win a basketball game against the Gym Buddies, by golly!)

Plus he told me I squat better than Shaquille O’Neal. Okay so what he technically said was that Shaq and other big basketball players that he’s worked with can’t squat for crap (my word and wow, that’s some nice imagery there – shut up, it’s late) although he said Kobe Bryant can do full range of motion squats. A** to grass! Which I can also do! So I extrapolated that to mean that I can out-squat Shaq…yeah. Whatever. I have to take my inspiration where I can find it! Especially since Steve immediately started me on a program to fix all my problems (the physical ones anyhow, I think he’s about ready to duct tape my mouth shut so I’ll stop asking so many questions) and it’s an 8 on the pain scale and a 2 on the fun scale. I’d have given it a 1 except that I get to do some sideways lunges that remind me of a dance move I once saw in a Lady Gaga music video.

So how does one undo all the damage from years of being attacked by little people from the inside out (and sitting with my legs crossed)? By doing basic movements with no weights. Push-ups, squats, lunges and TRX pull-ups are all on my daily rotation now. When I looked disappointed he explained, “If you can’t do a proper squat without your knee turning in, why on earth would I hand you a weight?” Good point. And having done the workout for almost a week now, I have to say I can really feel it working. I don’t like it (60 push-ups for 4 counts down, hold 2 counts at the bottom and then 1 count back up!! I want to gnaw my own shoulders off just to escape the burn.) but I already feel a difference. And by difference, I mean that my right butt cheek is sooo sore which apparently needs to happen to help with the tight hip thingy.

Play Along at Home: I shouldn’t be the only one having all the fun! Try these tests on yourself to see how you measure up. (If you’re not interested in testing yourself, at least try the last one on a friend – it’s hilarious!)

Stand in front of a full-length mirror. Ideally you’d have a partner to watch you as well but if all you’ve got is you and your cat it’s still good.

Squat: Do a set of 10 basic squats with your arms overhead and with as much range of motion as you can handle without pain. Watch both knees to see if they stay straight forward. Also watch your hands to see if one drops lower than the other as you squat down.

Single-leg squat: Stand on one foot and with a slight bend in your knee touch your pinky toe with your opposite hand. Do 10, checking to see if your knee tracks over your big toe each time or if it turns inward or outward.

Relaxed stance: Stand with your feet hip width apart with arms relaxed at your sides. See if one shoulder or hip is higher than the other. (This is where the other set of eyes really comes in handy.)

Scapula check: This one is fun for everyone as the Gym Buddies can tell you. I made them all do it and it’s to their credit that they didn’t even flinch when I told them to stand up with their back to me and not move. Anyhow, have the person stand in front of you in a relaxed stance. Then take your first two fingers, palm forward, and jam them up under their scapula (shoulder blade), er gently push up. It will make them scream. Which will make you scream. Which will make you all start laughing. Or will make them punch you. One or the other. So much fun! ANYHOW. You shouldn’t be able to fit your fingers very far underneath either shoulder blade.

Seriously though, my first major lesson learned from Steve is that pride has no place in my workouts. Living a healthy and injury-free life is more important than any number I can throw down on a weighted back squat. If progressing means I have to strip everything down to the basics first and relearn those movements then that’s what I’m going to do. And I’m really grateful for this chance for a do-over. Also, he reminded me that you really can get a killer workout from body weight exercises alone.

Did you test yourself? Are you unbalanced too? Have you ever had to swallow your workout pride and go back to the basics? Anyone else just want to try squatting in heels like Coco? Just to see if you could do it? Just me??

 

59 Comments

  1. This sounds great! I know I need to get my form checked because I have a bad hip, and it’s probably messing other stuff up as well. I know it messes with my QL.

    Are the gym buddies doing the workouts with you this month, or just the tests?

    • Nope, just me this month! I offered to “let” them do my 60 push-ups and they laughed. Really hard. 😉

  2. Ooh sounds like a very boring workout. I’m a huge, HUGE fan of getting it in, getting it done, and getting out fast, usually with massive amounts of sweating. Typically, I work in fairly quick circuits. Doing what you’re doing would drive me crazy, although I probably desperately need it. I have horrible balance issues – still can’t do a single leg squat even though I’m definitely strong enough for it.

    Kudos to you – if I’m even the teensiest bored when I’m exercising, I’ll quit, plain and simple, even if it *is* what’s best for me. Good luck with this month’s experiment. I look forward to hearing your end of the month results. Out of curiosity, how often are you meeting with your famous trainer?

    • Just once a week. I’m really interested in seeing my results too, lol! You know how well I usually do with repetitious workouts…:)

  3. Alyssa (azusmom)

    This sounds great!
    Because of Tennis Elbow (which is just the universe being ironic with me), I’ve had to forgo heavy weights. I’ve busted out by Callanetics workouts and barre-inspired workouts, using either body weight or very light weights.But I’m really enjoying it!
    Today in yoga the instructor gave me a block for Triangle Pose. I was bummed at first, but it really did open up my upper body and made a huge difference, so I swallowed my pride and enjoyed the feeling of NOT squeezing myself inside-out.

    • This: “Because of Tennis Elbow (which is just the universe being ironic with me)” made me giggle. And good for you for being open (!) to using the block. I’m notoriously stubborn in Yoga and I’d do well to follow your example.

  4. I don’t have to test myself to know that I’m all sorts of wonky – 10 years of aches and pains and 4 years of dance teacher training have made that blatantly obvious. Things have been getting slightly worse recently, and I only wish I knew who to go to for help (and that I could afford that help). I’ve had a lot of people look at me and go “wow, you’ve got problems” but give me solutions…not so much. So, I already know how I’d do in the tests – can you share more of the workout? (For someone whose wrists and neck won’t allow for 20, let alone 60 push-ups. :))

    • I’d be happy to share my whole workout except that it’s targeted to my particular problems and I didn’t want to give anyone else more (or diffrerent) issues, lol! But Lifetime Fitness offers this test for anyone – you don’t have to be a member of their gym. Check out their site and see if there is one near you and if you can’t find one, let me know and I’ll ask Steve if he knows anyone in your area.

      • You’re right, of course, about targeting. Still, if you get good general tips, do let us know. I’m a little far from the nearest LTF gym unless they have a UK branch. 🙂

        • Oh! I’m sorry! Yeah, no LTF gyms in the UK:( But I’ll definitely let you know what I learn as I go!

  5. Haha I had another trainer once tell me that I had hip problems and he could help sort it out because of my weaknesses. I tried to explain to him that he couldn’t. He refused to listen and got all know-it-all-ey (did I mention I’m a trainer too?) – at which point I promptly told him my spine is fused on one side and thus, if he IS in fact able to straighten that side out, I’m concerned for the state of my bones lol. Although, for anyone that is deformity free (I’m a monstaaah ahhhhh) corrective exercise is a great foundation builder. Boring, yes, but a great way to create long-term success.

    • Oh that’s hilarious! I wish I could have seen that one! And… why is your spine fused on one side?

      • Because I’m a freak (OH GAWD LOOK AWAY!!)… Or as far as we can tell I was just born that way. I’ve always cocked my hip to one side and never thought anything of it. I had spinal x-rays a couple years back and the person reviewing them with me asked if I knew my L5 and S1 were fused together on the left side. It was actually pretty cool to see on an x-ray. Granted, he also told me the alignment of my neck indicated major trauma (never had any) so that was weird…

  6. Love this little reminder Charlotte!

    The hardest lesson I ever learned was that progress doesn’t come from doing things different, but from doing things better.
    Every successful athlete gets to that high level by mastering the basics. It might not be sexy or fancy but it does create the sexy outcomes.

    • I need this on a bumper sticker: “The hardest lesson I ever learned was that progress doesn’t come from doing things different, but from doing things better.” that I stick on my forehead. Thanks for the encouragement!

  7. I like what your instructor did, Charlotte! Once a friend said to me in a similar vein, “I wish you could see yourself as others see you!” I’ve never forgotten that!

  8. I had the official (and free) assessment at my YMCA 2 months ago & was surprised with the results. I’m now working with a trainer to get myself “fixed” and am thrilled with the progress; so thrilled I convinced my husband to get an assessment & reallocated the PT budget to include him.

    • I love this! Thanks for the encouragement – hopefully I’ll have similarly great results to report!

  9. Good Lord! After 2 major joint surgeries in a year, I am so very unbalanced. Been working on it seriously in PT and post-PT and still think I may be a year away from great balance. (and I’m certified in corrective exercise!)

    I start each workout with some mobility work and corrective stuff, but haven’t quit the heavy lifting. (yeah, I know…) Some days are totally dedicated to balance and corrective work. Eventually I will feel centered again.

    Not surprised by your right hip flexors given that you carried babies on your left hip for so long…

    • I seem to be the only one surprised by my hip flexor issue:) I guess I always figured that since I’m so flexible I didn’t have to worry about tight anything…:(

  10. This is hilarious! Only because about a month ago I went to a super-fancy smart Chiropractor who had to completely retrain me how to WALK! My left leg is a full inch smaller than my right (and because of the general state of my body, that is like it is withering and weak, not just that the other one is super strong) and my left leg generally does it’s own thing when I walk. Plus I have really weak inner thigh muscles and tight hip flexors!

    But re-learning how to walk? Weirdest thing ever. I spent a month imagining everyone at the office was starting at me every time I walked by. But I can tell a difference! And I now know that my sister falls firmly into the same category as you- NOT injured, but should be.

    • I can imagine how weird that must feel! Like a toddler with all the wobbling but no diaper to pad you when you fall? 😉 Good for you for doing it! It sounds like it’s helping!

  11. We do functional movement screens at CrossFit. I’m a pretty strong lady, but my glutes are apparently not. There are some movements that I absolutely cannot do and it is embarassing to lay there on the ground trying your hardest to get your knee off the ground but nothing is happening. But it will make me a better athlete 🙂

    • I have no idea what “functional movement screens” are but I must know! Off to Google I go…!

  12. I like to think I’m pretty awesome, but one hour of functional fitness at a bootcamp made me sore for 3-4 days in a way that a 18 mile run or 65 mile bike or any weight class never has.

    And I really need to start doing pushups again because 60 pushups made me cringe, and that used to be just a normal day (3×20, not in a row, but still, ugh).

    • Oh yeah, mine were in 3 sets as well! And it’s funny how something new can make you so sore!

  13. My trainer broke down and assigned me a homework list of basic stretches and range of motion exercises to work on my problems. FUN.

  14. My knees do not track at all! I’ve been dealing with pain for the past couple years. Turns out my hips are all our of alignment which messes up my knees. After multiple rounds of physical therapy I’m at least more aware of them. I always do any leg workouts in front of a mirror so I can watch the tracking and usually I have to focus on adjusting my right knee because it naturally turns in.

  15. Going back to the basics is great and can be hard! No swallowing of your pride needed! Most people don’t know proper form so soon you’ll be better than everyone, lol. Lately I’ve gotten all concerned with my deadlift form so I’ve been doing the motions without weights because I want to get it just right and not screw my back up 🙂

    • Yes, deadlifts scare me for this reason. Bad form on a deadlift can equal a major injury. So glad you are being careful!

  16. I really want to get these tests! I’ve always thought I had one leg longer than the other, too, but maybe it’s something else! Need to research cost of these tests….

    • Another commenter posted that a lot of trainers will do the assessment for free…

  17. I can’t even stand in heels, I think I’d kill myself trying to squat in them. Walking is a challenge. And by challenge I mean impossible. I can’t do heels.

    I’m too prideful to even attempt these tests because I”m sure I’d fail everyone. Except the back to basics one. That one I’ve gotten down in the last few months. I do love the basic moves and the easy on my joints cardio now. Does that count?

  18. If anyone wants this test and doesn’t have a gym nearby, look for a personal trainer with NASM certification. We do this assessment for every new client, and most trainers will do the assessment for free.
    Glad you got your physical issues assessed charlotte 😉 I know as a trainer it’s hard to see our flaws but you do know when you are working on them as they even out, and you become balanced! Stick with it! The training takes longer than a month but you’ll get the basic info you need to work on your wonky areas (that’s what I like to call them lol).

    • Oh yes, I’m sure I’ll have to do this longer than a month but I’m hoping to at least get a good foundation in since I only have my trainer for a month:) Thanks for the encouragement!

  19. My left hip is the really tight one, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I sit the opposite way when I cross my legs. I am trying to correct it. And I agree, what your trainer said clearly meant you squat better than Shaq. 🙂

  20. This is why sometimes I don’t want going to gym and I really salute you for this! I’d rather work-out at house..

  21. My 26 year old daughter is learning to be a personal trainer, and I just got the squat test on Sunday. I’m so glad I’m not the only who has been exercising for years and my squats suck! I think my 8 kids did me in too! I can’t even make my feet face the same direction anymore when I run, so I’m banned from the track…it scares people!

    • 8 kids! And I thought I had a lot! Kudos to you:) Maybe I can convince one of mine to be a personal trainer too!

  22. Great stuff Charlotte!!! Every day now I have to do this. Age does some weird stuff! 😉 I do have to be careful with some things right now & listening to my bod.

    I love this that you wrote: Living a healthy and injury-free life is more important than any number I can throw down on a weighted back squat. If progressing means I have to strip everything down to the basics first and relearn those movements then that’s what I’m going to do. And I’m really grateful for this chance for a do-over.

    I could use that right now! Never too experienced or too old to learn! 🙂

  23. Wow, this month’s experiment sounds excellent. Not as flashy as some, but amazing. I would love to get some of this assessment and correction work done (not I did not actually say I would like to do it…), but I’m a little leery of the trainers at my gym. It’s 24Hour Fitness, and I…dunno. How do you know if a trainer is qualified to do something like this?

  24. I’ll bet a million bucks that your Steve is an NASM-certified trainer. What you’ve described is what NASM trainers do for a first training session. This is a great example of a Corrective Exercise Assessment. The whole point of Corrective Exercise is to look at how the body functions as a whole unit, and to assess how that function is being altered by muscle imbalances, and areas that are overly tight and overly stretched. Even if it feels like a step backwards, it’s not. You can’t out-train muscle imbalances. You are going to be a much more well-rounded athlete because of this work.
    Anybody who is looking for a trainer like this should be on the lookout for a trainer who is certified by the National Academy of Sport Medicine (NASM CPT). If you have an injury or are deconditioned, you’ll especially want to find a person who is an NASM Corrective Exercise Specialist (NASM CES).

  25. I went to my new physical therapist today, and he gave me almost the same advice: Go back to basics (although with weights). Squats, different kinds of lunges, and deadlifts – at least twice a week.

  26. After double knee surgery in the last few years I have had so many problems with balance, squats, and lunges. I’m hoping that with work I can regain the balance and the strength I used to have.

  27. This is on my list of “One day, when I have a normal life again, I’ll get a trainer to work with me on this.” I was a fencer for 3 1/2 years. I did at least try to balance things out, but having a sport which is so incredibly ‘handed’ meant imbalances were basically guaranteed. Right bicep? fantastic. Left lower quad, right upper quad were massive. Right hip flexor and right ankle might never forgive me. Just thinking about this is making my hips hurt — time for a hot bath!

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  30. Gym workout is bodily activity that enhances or maintains physical fitness and health and wellness.. Some people are also unbalanced they do it to enhance their balancing activity. You need not to feel bad at it. I think you should move over it. Keep doing your work out.

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