My Apologies For Today’s Post

by Charlotte on March 5, 2012 · 21 comments

I’ve felt unsettled all day about having published the post about Crystal Renn’s weight loss. I was hesitant about posting it in the first place and I think I should have listened to my gut. The problem is this: the way to get myself to stop obsessing over things like other women’s weight loss is probably not to dwell on them further by writing about them. I didn’t realize that when I wrote the post – it’s all a learning experience, right? – but now I don’t feel good about it. I’m not pulling the post down because I didn’t want people to wonder where their comments went and there is some really great discussion going on in the comments (as always, you guys are brilliant and insightful and caring and all-around wonderful). But I did want to offer my apologies here. And I promise tomorrow’s post (that goes live tonight – don’t ask me why I do that because I have no idea) has nothing to do with weight or body image!

Thanks for your continued patience with me!

Charlotte

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Mary Kate March 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

it is a learning process….hugs!

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Naomi/Dragonmamma March 5, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I don’t think you have anything to apologize for. This is a great topic and is inspiring lots of great comments.

When did it become OK for people to go to blogs and GET “offended” by everything? I think those commenters are RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. It’s the virtual equivalent of going to someone’s home and complaining about the brand of toilet paper. The subject matter is right there in plain sight; if the topic offends you, THEN LEAVE.

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Heather March 6, 2012 at 11:50 am

I completely agree. Why is everyone offended at EVERYTHING these days? Drives me crazy.

Charlotte, it’s your blog, so you dictate what you write about. If others want to read a blog that they can completely agree with and not be offended by, they can start their own! In my opinion, blogs are meant to be a journal of sorts for the blogger and something that makes others think about things they may not have considered. Every reader needs to decide for themselves what to take with a grain of salt and what to put weight in. No apologies needed on your behalf! Thanks for your honest writings and shared thoughts. I appreciate them!

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Heather @ Bake, Run, Live March 5, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I don’t think you have any reason to apologize. You write articles with your heart. You bring a depth to your articles that most of us can’t do. The situations you have been through and still deal with, give you an empathy/compassion that shows in your writing.
You can’t please everyone. If there are rude comments from that article, I’m sorry. People need to learn to be polite when they disagree.
Keep writing from your heart Charlotte.

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Jody - Fit at 54 March 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I LOVE YOUR HONESTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Alyssa (Azusmom) March 5, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I agree wholeheartedly with what Naomi said: this is YOUR blog! No one is holding a gun to anyone’s head & forcing them to read it (and if they ARE, well, that’s a bigger problem). If I’m offended by what someone writes in their blog, I will either disagree RESPECTFULLY or else stop reading. You presented a disclaimer that the post could be triggering for anyone with an ED, and that’s all you need do, IMHO.

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Kat March 5, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Charlotte doll, please don’t apologize… You did the best you could in that moment and I worry that there’s self judgment behind it…

It’s okay to struggle, because you know what? You’re moving forward by questioning thought processes. I think that’s apparent in both the Crystal Renn post (which I did read) and this one.

To say something you said at the beginning of the crystal Renn post (and I also often say) be gentle with yourself

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Mandy March 5, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I really don’t think you have anything to apologise for – I was actually wondering when and if you were going to post about it actually. Sometimes you need to post about something to get yourself thinking about what you’re actually thinking, if that makes any sense.

What I love about your blog is that you ARE open and honest and that the comments are so interesting and often insightful. It’s like a virtual support group for your readers.

I echo Kat – be gentle with yourself. Life is a learning curve.

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Cort The Sport March 5, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Ditto what others have said. You expressed disappointment in a model who retracted what she said she believed in and valued. It’s a situation that is repeated all the time – people we look up to or identify with and they do something startling that causes us to lose a little belief and faith – sports heroes, business leaders, teachers….there are examples everywhere. It just so happens this one was weight related and you had the guts to share what you were feeling and thinking which is probably shared by many.

You take more of a risk with your writing than most which is what makes your writing awesome. So DON’T go back on that. Stick to your values, stick to who you are. People love you for all of that!

:-)

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Sara March 5, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Other people have expressed themselves far more eloquently, but you do not need to apologize. And I am glad you are keeping the post up. It was a a fair, balanced commentary on someone who had said she was healthier and happier the way she was, then (seemingly) went back on what she had previously preached.

On that note, I am disturbed that some blame you and your writing for being a trigger for when discuss weight, orthorexia, food restriction, or disordered thinking. While I don’t want to be insensitive to the very real struggles faced by those with eating disorders, I think that as adults, we have to take responsibility for ourselves and not project back on others. Yes, that pizza commercial makes me hungry and makes me want to stuff my face, but you don’t see me writing them nasty letters.

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Ted C. Williams March 5, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I really liked the blog post, because I think it opens up the door to a much larger conversation about positive body image, acceptance of body types, and the overall effects of trying to “achieve beauty”. The topic you tackled is a sensitive one, but an important one. Your blog has in the past dealt with the issue and you have brought in your personal demons into account to help your readers better understand where you are coming from (which I am always incredibly impressed by your bravery).

Like other readers that have posted on here, I don’t think the apology was needed, but because of your genuine concern for your readers (and knowing you this apology came from the heart and wasn’t something your publicist told you to do) I know your worries of offending anyone was the reasoning for writing it. Just because it is uncomfortable to talk about, however, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed.

So thank you for writing the blog and also taking all of your readers into account. All of your readers, be it their first time to the site or their hundredth, appreciate what you do and how you do it.

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Esmerelda March 5, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I didn’t see a problem with your last post, either. I think because I read (skimmed, to be honest) Renn’s book, and she seemed rather smug and self-congratulatory about her plus-sized modeling. It was a bit beyond just admitting that her natural size was heavier than the average model (well, whose isn’t, right?) So by losing weight it does make her a look a bit like a hypocrite, even though she looks awesome and healthy in the SI photo. By comparison, when Kirstie Alley lost weight, I felt happy for her.

Either way, Renn has, both by her profession and her book, made her looks (and weight) a valid topic for discussion, so what’s the problem with discussing it?

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Katie March 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I just read the last post and I loved it, loved your frankness and honesty (as always), and I read all the comments and loved those too. I am GLAD you posted it. Anything that makes people think is a great blog topic, in my mind.

I didn’t see any comments where people were offended either. I think everyone really appreciates your honesty. That’s why we read your blog, Charlotte.

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Anna March 6, 2012 at 12:51 am

I agree with Katie. You don’t have to censor your thoughts. You weren’t saying anything bad about Crystal Renn – you were just saying out loud the things that many of us think. In our society we focus way too much on people’s looks and weight. I think your post had a way of making all of us see that.

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Sarah March 6, 2012 at 1:40 am

Your blog is your place to get things off your chest. Unloading probably makes you feel better – this is your platform so I don’t see why you should apologize for that. If however writing about such things is triggering for you, that’s something for you to sort out.

You had a disclaimer at the top stating it might be triggering – anyone affected had no need to read further.

I enjoy your insights into body image, despite the fact its a bit of a first world problem!

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skeptigirl March 6, 2012 at 3:29 am

I have no idea where I am going with myself either when I write a post. I really only write about issues I am working through myself. That is why I try to be as moderate as I can because when I don’t have a conclusion in mind I can say things I regret later (and still do), so I understand what you are saying.

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Tracy March 6, 2012 at 4:44 am

Ditto all the above! I’m so sick and tired of the ‘everybody else has to be tolerant but me’ and ‘it’s all about me’ attitudes that are so suffocating today. And you DID warn at the beginning – it made me stop and think about reading the post. I am glad I did and would not have read it if I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. (Wishing I could be more eloquent – consider yourself hugged!)

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bjbella5 March 6, 2012 at 7:42 am

I agree with those above. You talk about a lot of things people are uncomfortable with, which can illicit different types of reactions. Not sure if it is appropriate but a quote comes to mind…If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. Keep up the good work!

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Rebecca March 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Thanks for the apology, lady!

…You’re kind of awesome about that, you know–
just paying attention to how your words and actions come across to your readers.

That said,
Crystal’s weight loss *has* caused a lot of sturm und drang,
and I think it was okay for you to discuss it.

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Karen Whittier March 7, 2012 at 12:15 pm

This is your place to express your opinion/feelings and engage others to do the same…no apology needed. First and foremost I support a healthy weight and fitness level—that comes in a lot of different sizes and I was disappointed too that she seems to have conformed to the ogle standard. I would like to see a variety of active, healthy women rather than the same old, same old. It would go a long way to giving young girls a realistic and healthy view of their bodies.

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Spinster Jane March 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I found what you wrote yesterday to be inspiring and insightful. I think that the discussion of such issues is something we avoid all too often because writing about them is uncomfortable. I applaud you for writing about these issues. In fact you inspired me to write a post about my own body issues and how our cultural view of beauty can make nearly anyone, even those who fit the supposed standard, feel ugly and unattractive.

Thank you for sharing what you did.

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