How I Fell in Love With Basketball

Refreshing! But I’m pretty sure that’s still a foul.

Group sports have never been my thing. And when I say “not my thing” I mean I was the girl who faked her period for three years before actually getting it, just so I wouldn’t have to play soccer with the other kids. It’s not that I was some kind of rebel. It’s that I was – and still am, let’s be honest – a huge people pleaser. Add to that the fact that I am not a naturally gifted athlete and you have a recipe for disaster. You ready for this?

I got my pants pulled down in flag football. I got hit in the boob so hard with a baseball that I fell over and to this day am convinced that’s why the right one is slightly smaller than her twin. I peed my pants on the track. I got stuck in my gym-assigned swimsuit in the locker room and had to have a friend wrestle me out of it. Tiny shorts were not my friend. I made a very ill-advised step-aerobics routine to Tom Petty’s Last Dance With Mary Jane and almost landed myself in drug counseling. I think I’m the only girl who volunteered to play Powder Puff football that wasn’t allowed to play even a single second in any game. Heck, I couldn’t even handle bowling – I fell backwards and landed so hard on a bowling pin I was sure I’d lost my virginity.

But mostly it was all the snide comments, the sighs of exasperation and always always being picked last for teams – and that includes when the teacher was doing the picking.  (I had one teacher who used to throw footballs at my head, he was so bothered by me.) By the time I got to high school I was so convinced that I was awful that I would go to any length to avoid anything involving balls. No volleyball, no soccer, no tennis, no kissing tag and definitely no basketball.

Fast forward a decade of my husband trying fruitlessly to get me to play something with him besides Frisbee and I landed with the Gym Buddies. While Allison’s sports history is about the same as mine (sans bowling pin), Megan, Krista, Beth and Daria were all accomplished athletes in their sports. They have fond memories of team spirit, muddy slides to home and spiking the winning point. So it was only a matter of time before they wanted to play again. And, as luck would have it, there’s an open basketball court during our usual workout times.

I refused to even step on the court with them at first. I knew I was going to suck – I don’t even know the rules to basketball! – and I really didn’t want my friends to roll their eyes when I missed the ball, sigh when I double dribbled and eventually discover me for the non-athlete that I am. If this were an after-school special, I’d say that they didn’t do that and totally embraced my awkwardness. But these girls are competitive! It’s one of the things I love best about them. Yes they sighed. There was some eye rolling. The occasional yelling. But they also coached me, encouraged me and cheered when I got it right. (And looked the other way when I double dribbled more than a few times.) It meant even more to me because I knew they weren’t patronizing me. It’s, dare I say it?, fun.

It’s so fun in fact that every Tuesday is now Gym Buddy Basketball day (anyone is welcome to come play with us!) and not only is it a riot – there are so many unprintable ball jokes that we all have to pee before we start playing – but it’s also one of the best workouts I get all week. We play full court when we can and running up and down that thing for 75 minutes ranks right up there with Tabata sprints for sucking wind. Plus, since Tuesdays are supposed to be our Plyocide day for this month’s P90X 2 experiment (going much better now!!), I wrote down all the plyo moves from the video and put them in a cup and after every 10 points we each draw one and do them all in a row. What with all the air jacks it’s like we’re our own cheerleaders too! I get disgustingly sweat soaked.

I still suck – that hasn’t changed. I think today I made 3 shots out of 50. Megan had to tell me to stop dribbling backwards because running forward is faster. Duh. And there’s still a lot I don’t understand. (For instance: you can knock someone over with your butt and that’s called “blocking out” and is totally legal but when I jumped on Megan’s back in a big awkward bearhug that’s a foul?!) But what’s different now is that I’m finally playing with people who care more about me than they do about the game. (Usually.) It’s about having fun first, getting a good workout second and winning third. And also, they can’t bench me because we don’t have enough players for subs.

How do you feel about group sports? Has it changed now that you’re an adult? Anyone else have a tragi-comic gym-class story to share to make me feel better?!

Ah, the old crotch block! Not that I’ve ever tried this one but judging from my internet search this happens a lot more than you’d think. 

22 Comments

  1. Seriously….a GYM ASSIGNED swimsuit? Ewwww! I’m with you, group sports terrified me and I was always pretty much the last one picked for a team. I still have a dodge ball phobia. I was the one in the back corner, cowering. As a result of my group sports aversion, I really don’t know the rules to any of them – just the general concept of heading toward a goal of some sort. I really should pick up a Dummy’s Guide to Soccer since I have a kid who loves the sport. I do organize the post-game snacks. THAT I understand 😉

  2. Well everyone get in love with this sports.My father and brothers do this game as their bonding every weekend after a long weekdays of work.And they do this as their physical activities which enhance their strength and endurance.

  3. Basketball is the family boys bonding. I got to enjoy watching at them- they are all serious to give a shot. They are all sweating and the old ones always cries for a time-out. Thank God, the youngsters give the oldies consideration for the time-out. Just enjoy the game!

  4. I had a two year period of playing basketball at the Y that undid many years of hating group sports. Like you, I was terrible at it, but fortunately we broke lots of rules and focused on having fun.

    Alas, the fellowship broke apart when people’s jobs and life-styles got in the way. I miss it, but I do have way fewer bruises now. (We played it as a contact sport.)

  5. Basketball was my number one favorite sport growing up!

    I’m a shooter 🙂

    Just saw a woman dunk on ESPN this morning!

  6. PS Someone tried to push me back one time like that last photo, but I managed to avoid the contact like in that picture. I told them not to do it again. A little later in the game, they did it again. Basketball may be my favorite sport, but Karate is my most accomplished. I used a vertical elbow strike to defend myself and 10 minutes later they got up!

  7. Oh god. I’ve tried to block out all those memories. I definitely faked many an injury to get out of PE group sports. The only sport I ever did was swim team and although I loved it I was basically told I was letting down my teammates because I wasn’t fast enough. That was the end of that. I one time had a friend tell me to stand behind him in volley ball and he’d get anything that came my way so we wouldn’t lose. The sad thing was that he was this tiny guy who hadn’t hit his growth spurt and I was already going on 5’9″. I was that bad!

    And I’m sure I still suck at all of those group sports. But I’m okay with that and not trying them again. The other day we were at a friend’s place and people were playing this dance video game that scores how well you do the routines, etc. After a couple drinks I let myself be convinced to do a Lady Gaga song and I actually did really well and beat everyone who’d played it before. Zumba might not be a group sport but I found something I didn’t think I’d ever be good at and that I enjoy. I think that’s progress! Maybe someday and I’ll try group sports again and find the same thing but I kind of doubt it…

  8. I have mixed memories of team sports. I grew up in a town of 350 people so we all played everything or we wouldn’t have a team :). I played softball, volleyball, ringette, track and field, tag football, curling, figure skiing, floor hockey. I only avoided broomball because I really really hated it (that ball hurts!) and it was the only team that was any good so I really had no place on it. Noone played basketball for some reason. I always wanted to, but never really did until university…and then I just watched. I think I’d enjoy it more now that I’m in shape.
    As a kid (and even now) I really enjoyed volleyball and baseball. Now I sort of sucked at them, but I liked them. There was a friendly nastiness to it all, where everyone knew I sucked, but I was trying my hardest and we all had fun. I was the pudgy kid, but I was a really good backcatcher and my volleyball serve was something to be reckoned with. It took the pressure off to be a terrible team – we played for fun and if we happened to score or win, well you’d never see anyone so happy 🙂 I do still wonder why the team shorts were so rediculously tight – noone looks good in those things! I found my old volleyball and baseball uniforms in the attic a few years back. They made me smile.
    I’ve tried to join intramural teams on campus here but everyone is so serious. I’m all for playing to win, but the fun spirit just wasn’t there…pity. I would play more team stuff now I think…every once in a while I get the itch to try something…but I’m not sure what.

  9. Group sports. Ugh. Hated them in primary school (rounders, netball). Avoided them in secondary (hockey, showers – putrid). Loathe them to this day. What is it about school sports that utterly fails to bring out the ATHLETE in people like me? Answer: the group sports thing. After I left formal education, I discovered running through a sprinting friend of mine. Loved it. Sprint training rocks (and BTW we were running ‘intervals’ and doing ‘HIIT’ 20 years ago – it is not exactly a new training technique) and then found my nirvana – weight training. Why do schools not teach sports according to personality type, huh? Why this insistence that group sports suit everyone? Because they REALLY DON’T.

  10. I prefer the individual stuff (more recently running/triathlon, but before swimming/diving, gymnastics, ice skating, track), but I always enjoyed recreationally playing the team sports. I wasn’t the best but was never the worst, and enjoyed playing in gym.

    Oddly enough, no one ever made us shower in PE, so no one did. Even after an hour of running around outside. I guess no one cared because everyone stunk? 🙂

  11. In high school I signed up for inter-league basketball. I was chosen first for my team because I was the tallest. I was also the klutziest, and couldn’t get the ball in the basket.
    At all.
    Ever.
    Not even once.
    I WAS, however, really good at kickball (the long legs came in really handy there), and tetherball (helps when you can just keep the ball swinging over your opponent’s head). Everything else I pretty much stank at.
    So I found Drama Club. The same sense of team spirit, with a much lower chance of getting injured. (Unless you count the times I would trip over set pieces during blackouts.)

  12. I’ve always loved playing basketball with friends; it was the go-to activity in my neighborhood when I was younger. Now, my fiance’s son is playing, so we’re starting to shoot hoops again. I get a bit competitive and am so glad that for now, I can outrun and outshoot the fiance!

  13. Where do you find those pictures haha
    Anyhow, I was always bad at sports while at school. I was the girl that was always picked last, I broke my finger every year, from any sport involving a ball etc
    As an adult, I am trying a lot of new sports, and I sometimes consider giving group sports another try… But I am always worried of being ridiculed (10 yrs old me is never very far).
    I’m glad you’re having so much fun though. You’re right, playing with people who care more about you than the score must be the key

  14. Oh, I was like you. Terrible at all the team sports, last one picked for teams. Also, seeing the ball come flying at me in volleyball scared the crap out of me. The thing is I am not at all competitive, I don’t know how to be aggressive. I am a hang back kind of person. That just doesn’t fit in with any kind of team sport. I still really have no interest in it.

    I can see how it might become fun if you are playing with a group of good friends though. Glad you learned to have fun with it!

  15. Back in high school PE class, we had a 100 minute block for our gym class (which is an eternity). My class was co-ed, and every day we had to start with a 1 mile run. I have always hated running. We used to cheat on the laps. I am going to call it interval training. We would walk most of the lap, until we got near the PE coach. Then we’d run when we got within 100m or so and then run past him. Then go back to our walking. He would always say “good effort ladies” and we’d start cracking up.

    Anyway, the rules were: boys need to go play basketball (or volleyball) and girls could go take showers. Well I hated all the running, but my friends and I were always right up there on the court playing basketball or volleyball. I find group sports way more fun than the individual pursuits. I was never great at basketball (I am an ok passer in volleyball) but we had lots of fun and got in more exercise in gym class. And even though I flunked running, I always did well in gym class because I like playing games. Now I just need to find some activity partners to take up basketball, volleyball and badminton again. 😀

  16. Charlotte’s not giving herself enough credit! She has improved by leaps and bounds since we started a couple months ago. Granted, she may never understand the rules to “checking” the ball when we only play 1/2 court, but she is like your shadow/mosquito/rabid little mouse when it comes to guarding you. She likes defense so much, she chooses to guard you when she’s on offense too…just so her partner can get to the basket! It. Is. A. Riot!!!

  17. As a basketballer, I absolutely adore this post, Charlotte! Early last year I busted my knee playing the sport and needed a full reconstruction (see: http://fabulousfoodandalittlefrolicking.blogspot.com.au/2011/11/why-ill-never-do-another-spin-class.html ). I’m hanging out like a crazy person to get back on the court (mid-year hopefully – woot!) In my opinion, basketball is the perfect workout – there’s fun and social elements that allow you to take your mind off which “bits” hurt/how exhausted you are. Moreover, a game represents the perfect length of time for a great cardio workout….not that I’m biased or anything… 😉

  18. I hated group sports in school. Well, middle and high school. I liked groups sports in elementary school, but I also liked those people much better than the ones in middle and high school. That totally has something to do with it. I would love to play basketball or soccer or hockey again, but only if I could play with people who aren’t horrible to be around.

    Your Gym Buddy Basketball day sounds like fun. Your gym-assigned swimsuit story makes me glad I didn’t take swimming…

  19. That was really hard.. I am not into sports too.. I have disaster like this too but your is worst! 🙂

  20. I have to say I have never really thought of looking at team sports from someone else’s perspective and how intimidating they could be to the outside observer. I have always been a good athlete and eventually grew into my 6’6 frame..So basketball is definitely one of my favorite sports. I applaud you for trying something new and liking it. Now if we could only get America to adopt the same philosophy!

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