Actually, she’s wearing white pants and as anyone knows you can’t have your period and wear white pants at the same time. Or ride white horses. Or play tennis in a white tennis dress. I’m guessing she’s the girl whose babysitter showed her Jaws at age 5.
“Hormonal” is not generally seen as a compliment. And yet, I’ll be honest, I am. Some girls seem hardly affected by the monthly ebb and flow of the Crimson Tide but me… well, let’s just say that ancient cultures would have worshiped me because of how obviously I follow the lunar cycle. Sure I get all the usual PMS crap like cravings (for like two weeks, so basically half the month I’m fighting sugar), bloating, moodiness and cramps. But I have some weirder symptoms. It took me until I was 30 to realize that the day before the Crimson Tide flows in that I have a serious “everybody hates me” day. And I mean serious. I cry to my husband that I have no friends. I tell my sister how nobody cares about me. Then I go on Facebook and cry over statuses as benign as “had eggs for breakfast – thanks for the recipe Jill!” because clearly Jill is sending out recipes to everyone but me which probably means they’re all having brunch right now and nobody invited me. The next day, without fail, Aunt Rosie comes a-knocking and I want to smack myself. It’s gotten so bad that I actually have a calendar alarm set up to remind me not to send any ill-advised e-mails for those couple of days.
The problem is that it all feels so very real. Even though it happens every month or so. (My cycle isn’t super regular which adds a whole other level of difficulty to this puzzle!)
But the most interesting symptom I have is a hormone-induced stupor. For 20 days of the month I am a writing machine, coming up with posts, working on my book, doing research, conducting interviews and enjoying every second of it. (Eh, mostly.) But then something happens to my brain and I go into this mental fog. Everything is hazy. Writing feels impossibly hard. Heck, even calling the store to order my son’s birthday cake (no, I’m not making it – hush, do you not remember what happens when I bake?!) feels insurmountable. Parent-teacher conference? I have a 3rd child? It’s not flip-flop weather?! Wha…?? I can’t remember a dang thing. It’s like depression, a stroke and a Baldwin family reunion all in one.
So what do I do? I work 10 times harder because now it takes me 10 times as long to get anything done. This necessitates staying up until 2 or 3 a.m. to finish tasks that ought to be simple but feel like eating peanuts with chopsticks. The lack of sleep then necessitates OD’ing on sugar and dark chocolate to keep moving. Then I feel compelled to hide all my crazy feelings because I know they’re crazy and I don’t want to vent my spleen all over people which turns me into an emotional volcano. That only erupts inwards. (What does “venting one’s spleen” even mean?! Weirdest idiom ever. And second grossest visual.) And the best part is that it happens about every 30 days! Yippee!
Basically everything sucks for those 10 days but then all is happy hyper-achiever again. It’s a weird roller coaster. A friend recently asked me if I’m bipolar. I was like, “No, just bimenstrual. Which might be the same thing.” I was relating this to my sister and bemoaning my hormonal fate when she said something profound. “Maybe your period is trying to tell you something.”
“Excuse me? I am not on speaking terms with Mother ‘you want to complain about fair, I’ll show you Somalia’ Nature.”
“Well you should start talking to her again. Because I think she’s smarter than you think.”
“How can she be smart when she makes my life absolutely miserable for 1/3 of every month??”
“Maybe she’s not trying to make you miserable. Maybe she’s trying to make you rest.” I harrumphed while she finished. “You are so go-go-go all the time so maybe your body is telling you that it needs to rest. Mentally and physically. You’d probably be happier if you just stopped fighting it and took a nap.”
Well, huh. My little Earth Mother sister might be onto something. Historically in many cultures women were given a break during That Special Time. While sometimes women were just forbidden from cooking or having sex or doing other “wifely duties”, many cultures gave a special power to a “moontime” and gave women extra space and reverence. But either way women were generally expected to be different during their periods. It was normal to not be your normal self.
This is a far cry from what is expected today. We’re free to make jokes about Shark Week or Chocolate Bloodletting or whatever but aside from Middle School gym class we’re absolutely not allowed to use it as a legitimate excuse. PMS is seen as a weakness, something that needs to be fixed, covered up or ignored – a disease even. Every time I talk about my horrible hormones I have a few people tell me to try the new birth control pills aimed at PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, i.e. the PMS from hell), like Yaz or Yazmin. I’m definitely not opposed to pills and if these help you then I couldn’t be happier for you. (Truly: I’m not trying to tell anyone that they shouldn’t take these pills or that they’re bad.) But when I went to my doctor and she gave me a prescription for Yaz, I never ended up filling it. The side effects felt too scary and I already have an IUD for birth control so the risk wasn’t worth it for me. And I’m not going to lie: there was an element of not wanting to pathologize something that is completely normal. Just like we’ve forgotten what real boobs look like (hint: they don’t always point straight forward), society has given us amnesia about what unmedicated hormones do. They fluctuate. And that fluctuation has effects.
Periods can be indicators of so much more than fatigue. If you lose your period it could be because you’ve over-exercised (ahem), dropped your body fat too low (learned that lesson), have an underactive thyroid, are overly stressed or even have cancer. If your period is irregular it can be a sign of fibroids, nutritional deficiencies, stress and (again) cancer. If your period is excessively heavy then you could possibly have polycystic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis, are overly stressed or (you saw this one coming) cancer. Us ladies are fine-tuned machines and perhaps our menstrual cycles are the canaries in the coal mines.
In the end, I can believe my body tries to slow me down once a month. Heaven knows I need it. But I still hate the inconvenience, the mess, the cramps and especially the brain fog. I also hate how it feels trying to live in a society that expects women to be on a perfectly even keel 365 days a year. Where’s Beyonce when I need her??
Have you ever felt like your period was trying to tell you something? What other normal female (or male!) things has society pathologized? Do you do anything special or different during your Card Game Where All the Suits Are Red? Should I rethink Yaz/Yazmin??
P.S. Thanks to some previous tips from you guys, I’ve started taking a magnesium supplement and I think it’s helped a ton with the cramps. I do 250mg a day until the week before my period then I up it to 500.
for more of my crazy antics and uncomfortable over-shares!
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
So much of this is familiar (of course!
). And it keeps changing: which, interestingly, has made me wonder over the past few days (seriously, I was thinking about this yesterday!) that maybe Aunt Flo is giving me signals.
I’m currently in the throes of PMS: cranky, bloaty, pimply, and all the other dwarves are settling in. This morning I decided to skip my yoga class. I REALLY needed to rest, and my elbow is out of joint (again. A sure sign that I’ve been subbing too many pilates classes). I eventually decided to not only skip working out entirely today, but to go ahead and eat that chocolate cookie. All 3 of them.
It’s That Time of the Month, and I’m taking full advantage!
I get super duper dizzy. It’s actually the most annoying 4 days of the month. I end up sitting in my office feeling nauseated from being so dizzy, it’s absolutely terrible. I almost wish I had worse cramps, and no dizziness, because at least I can help cramps with advil, I have no idea how to cure dizziness (more water, etc. doesn’t help).
The 2-3 days before, I just eat all the chocolate in the world, and watch terrible rom-coms (which I usually hate). :/
I don’t think I’d recommend Yaz/Yazmin. I took Yazmin for about 7 years, and it really messed with my mood (my anxiety is infinitely better since going off), but also, both are linked to blood clots, and a bunch of other heart issues (though cancer was not mentioned…). I personally don’t think that risk is worth it.
Your sister is right, just be more kind to yourself (which is really a good motto for life broadly as well…).
Your body is definitely good at telling you when to rest. If you ignore it long enough, sometimes it will force you to rest against your will. I find that during the first day or two I have to spend a good amount of time sitting down or resting or else I start feeling like I have the flu. (And I know it isn’t TSS because it happens without fail the first day of my period whether I use tampons or pads.) So maybe you – and the old cultures – are onto something and we should be allowed to take some rest once a month.
Casey Kay recently posted..Ollie The Owl
My cycle and I are NOT on good speaking terms. Since high school I’ve had periods that lasted up to 6 months at a time, ranging from light to extremely heavy depending on the day/week, accompanied by horrible cramps. My cervical exams have been fine, and most doctors have told me “it’s stress” (I’d like to “stress” them right in the face!) My sister apparently developed this problem in the last year and had to start birth control, so it looks like I’m going to have to cave. I don’t want to though – I already have an IUD and the weight gain risk freaks me out. =(
I have no advice, really, just a thank you for bringing this up. It’d be only fair to cut us some slack and not expect business as usual at a time when, in my case, the only thing I’m capable of is a gentle rocking motion and eating ice cream. I’ve made a point of letting people (even my male friends, whether they like it or not) know what’s going on because really, being teary and feverish and absurdly greedy for a week, cramping horribly for three days and bleeding for 7-8 is enough to deal with without having to hide the reason I want to bite everyone’s head off. I wish I dared take magnesium but I’m still worried that an overdose of it might have kickstarted my hypothyroidism (the only upside of which: no period). Thanks for the excuse to vent my, um, ovaries.
I don’t have any useful advice, but taking magnesium pills and a so called ‘micro pill’ (lower dose of hormones, almost zero side effects) has made my periods at least a litlle easier. I still get PMS and cramps, but they used to be much worse when I was a teen.
Thank goodness for my understanding husband, who cuts me some slack when my hormones go crazy.
Just curious, what’s the #1 grossest visual of all?
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Back in tthe olden days women did not use anything special to catch their flow, so they just bled through their skirts.
I have recently come off the pill and am back in touch with my natural cycle. The week after my period im super cheerful, very energetic and my sex drive is through the roof. I then even out for a while til the week before my period when i get sore boobs, a crankier mood and a low sex drive. After being kept at the same hormonal level for so long by the pill, im really enjoying the super positive week of the red-ruled-roller-coaster. For me it outweighs PMS week.
Yes! It’s trying to tell you to look after yourself and stopping running round like a headless chook. I was on juliet pill and took ponstan prescription tablets at that time of the month for 10 years because I had such bad periods. I would throw up from the nausea and literally crawl into a ball and cry. I can tell you now the thing that helped mine most was going plant based. I know it’s a tough area for you and don’t want to push you into restricting but all I can say is that eating a whole foods, low fat, plant based diet has made my periods SO MUCH better. I don’t want to gross you out but they’re quicker and less painful…. instead of being 7 days of agony it’s 1 maybe 2 days of heavy flow with uncomfortable but not enough to take painkillers achy cramps and then 2-3 days of really really light flow with no pain at all.
I hope you find some relief!
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Aunty Flow stopped visiting me a couple of years ago, so now I’m free to be a cranky bitch (or not) whenever I want. Wheee, I’m free, I’m free!
If I remember my historical misinformation correctly, it was once thought that we were ruled by our body “humours”, and our spleens were held responsible for producing whatever it was that made us bad-tempered.
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Not on the pill myself – it made me feel SO nuts emotionally. So I asked my yoga teacher (another earth mother) about PMS stuff, and she said something similar- that basically your period is really hard on your body too, so to take a little time. Take a nap, sleep in 15 minutes late, pamper yourself really. You’d treat it differently right before and after a hard race, so kind of do the same thing at your period. She also said that the foods they say to avoid because of bloat (like salt, caffeine and bready starchy foods) can also make emotional roller coasters worse, for what that’s worth. (And Midol has a lot of caffeine in it – not sure about the others).
I get that “everybody hates me day” thing too! Courtesy of the pill, I barely have any other symptoms, but the day before my period or sometimes on the first day, I feel deeply sad and dissatisfied with myself. It sucks.
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Alrighty then
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I get more emotional the day before my period. I have to remind myself of this before I send off e-mails (because man, can I get defensive)! The other thing is I want M&M’s. Must have M&M’s!
I’m lucky, my period only lasts 2 days, so if I’m tired or feeling lazy- that’s just fine!
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Hmmm…I’m pretty lucky. The odd month on the day or two before I’ll get cramps or a bit sensitive, but most months I just get rediculous hunger cravings. I’ve been on the pill for over 13 years now and so things are so nicely mapped out and regulated…makes it easier to know what’s what. Having irregular cycles would be really frustrating for me. I’m glad I don’t to deal with it…I sympathize with you though – I had a roommate in college who was pretty much PMS bipolar…it did not look like fun. Every month was a new batch of crazy followed by regret and apology. I’ll stick to my occasional bag of cheezies
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I think sometimes our period might be trying to tell us something, but in some cases it might not be what we think. Before I had my ablation (my period is now virtually absent, although the PMS is quite present!), in addition to sobbing “the world hates me” hormones I’d also get 48 hours of carnage where I was in the bathroom every hour at minimum, and up several times during the night just to change things over. I was fortunate that my workplace didn’t blink when I spent that much time in the bathroom every month. There are some jobs where I literally couldn’t have functioned in that capacity, and many of those jobs don’t give sick days. It could have had severe financial repercussions for me.
I couldn’t take the pill because it exacerbated the “woe is me!” phase of PMS (I’m wonky that way, apparently), and I’m just grateful that I have health insurance so I was able to get the matter taken care of when I, at long last, switched to a GYN who recognized that things were a teensy bit out of hand. Bless that woman.
So sometimes your period might be telling you to find another doctor. That, in the final analysis, is what mine was shouting
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Ah, hormones. Sometimes they’re spiteful little buggers. I totally have the over-sensitive, someone-broke-my-shell, weepy moments often in the days leading up to Shark Week. It’s worse if I’ve been eating like crap or drinking too much.
I have noticed if my exercise levels are up, and my diet is optimal, that I have far less discomfort during my period. Shorter period, less cramps, fewer aches. I guess (purely guesswork) that it’s because my nutrient levels are better suited to prevent problems (maybe naturally higher in minerals like magnesium?), and that my muscles are in better shape to deal with potential problems.
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I barely remember how my normal cycle was, having been on birth control pills for so long. I did love Yaz when I was on it and I think it got a bad rap for the same issues all pills have but if it’s not right for you then don’t take it. It’s interesting though, a coworker was just telling me about her issues feeling all foggy too. And I know I get the everyone hates me thing when I’m PMSing, even on bcp. Not that I’d know anything about that at the moment. The pill I’m on gives me really light, irregular periods and I haven’t had one in almost 2 months. Why is it that not getting your period is as annoying as getting it?
Maybe you should give the Pill a go? You never know. If you have bad side effects you can always stop taking it! I have endometriosis and went on the pill for a while. My doctor said she didn’t know why people made such fuss about the pill – sure its putting hormones in the body artificially but those hormones just simulate natural hormones that would be produced in say pregnancy. Years ago, it would have been fairly unusual for people to put their bodies through repeated periods and the hassle it brings because they would have spent a fair amount of their reproductive years pregnant. Just a thought. I’m now on the Depo and have no periods. Bliss.
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Ha! I love that picture — it reminds me of my vacation with my husband to Israel (a five day layover en route to see his parents in Albania for 2 weeks). We took a day trip to Masada and the Dead Sea from Jerusalem and even though it was January and like 50 degrees in Jerusalem it was around 85 at the Dead Sea because of the elevation and such. I had my period so I stood around fully dressed (I DID change into flip flops, however) while my husband frolicked in the salt water with like 40 Russian tourists…
But anyway, regarding PMS… yeah, I totally lose my edge for the week right before my period (and sometimes for 2 weeks before) but I begin to feel normal again as soon as my period starts, so I actually prefer the week of my period to the week leading up to it. And YES! There is usually a day — and YES usually the day RIGHT before my period starts — when I feel all lonely and self-pitying and tragic.
Interesting idea about “listening” to your cycle… I never considered that there may be some larger meaning behind my irritated, tired, absent-minded bloat, but maybe… at the very least, it gives me an easy excuse for being short-tempered and unreasonable
I used to like being on the pill because I knew exactly when my period is coming, but…honestly, I always know now because two things happen: 1. I feel fat and think I look awful in everything and; 2. Everybody pisses me off.
When I start thinking…you know, I’m really sick of his/her shit or…I really can’t stand him/her..or why the hell did I ever marry him? I look at the calendar and count back & go …oh…right. OK.
Angry and fat. Totally accurate indication that Aunt Flow is coming to visit.
I wrote about it on my blog today…and I can’t wait to see what my husband thinks of this when I get home. LOL.
http://atouchofcass.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/just-write-15-now-thats-love/
For years my husband would say impatiently, “You get like this every month.” And I would snarl “Oh no I don’t! Don’t you dare say ‘whatever was upsetting me’ is due to pms.” Then a day or two later the sun would come out and all was rosy. I guess it’s part of being feminine and that’s what I wish I could have known before I crossed to the other side of the Red Sea. At 56 I’d give an awful lot for just a little bit of fluctuating hormone…sigh.
I so identify with this! I however have worse symptoms from ovulation than PMS! The days before and during ovulation I loose my mind, get insanely bloated, and am beyond irritable. It seems to resolve itself a few days later and the actual PMS symptoms are nothing in comparison. I too get the “everybody hates me” feeling. That is how I always know that my period is about to start!
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When I had it it told me that I hated it & it was a pain in the arse! It also led me to carbs & yelling!
Now, who knows as it came & went & came & went & came & went for almost a year & came back & now gone again – I hate hormones!
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skeptigirl–In the olden days, women used rags
It bothers me that menopause is treated like an illness. When did aging become pathological? As for my period, the DivaCup has changed my life.
Thanks for reminding us to be kind to ourselves. I definitely agree, women on their periods get treated like they have a terrible disease, and that is really unfair, since it’s a perfectly natural thing.
Sometimes, when I’m on my period, I go home early. I’m in grad school and I’m a bit more flexible with my work schedule, so I can do that. I go home, put on comfy pants and plunk down on the couch with hot tea. And yes, I’ll probably treat myself to a whole row of silly TV shows on hulu
and I indulge in copious amounts of expensive dark chocolate.
Btw, the week *after* my period is when I hate the world. I hate all of it, and all the people in it and I can be pretty awful. I always try to remind myself that it’s ok to hate everything, because I know it’ll be gone within one week of the end of my period. I started journaling to vent my feelings so that I don’t accidentally say wrong things to the people I love.
Try transdermal magnesium oil — you’ll get more mag in your system without the risk of the runs. You can put some on a gauze pad at night and use some medical paper tape to tape it to the soles of your feet. You’ll absorb it better that way. I know it sounds crazy but cut open a clove of garlic and rub up the sole of your foot — see how long it takes for you to taste garlic! When your hormones start fluttering, put some mag oil in a dish pan and put your feet in it. Just takes enough to cover your arches not your whole foot. Got cramps — put mag oil on a wash cloth, put it on your tummy and top it off with a heating pad. works on your back too. You can also use castor oil to relieve cramps — use it the same way but use a ratty old wash cloth that you’ll never use again — castor oil is thick and doesn’t wash out.
I’ve tried a lot of mag oils (trust me — some of them are no-so-good!) and my favorite by far is from Global Light Network (www.globallight.net). Stick with the oil vs. the gel — it’s more potent. Magnesium is so important for so many things in our bodies and most of us don’t get enough. I’ll bet your mom was low in it too — and we pass those deficiencies from generation to generation.
In the meantime — while you’re enjoying a good 20 minute footsoak — try reading The Red Tent. I think our frayed social fabric has unraveled a lot of our safety nets as women. It’s a good book but have a good-sized box of Kleenex ready if you read it any time near “the zone”.
BTW — I’ve noticed, now that I’m almost done with this whole bleed every month thing — that whatever my emotional state is going into the zone, my hormones just ramp it up to the power of 10. If I’m in a great, happy, relaxed place — ow, cramp….and everything is okay. If I’m stressed — I’m sharp, mean, and brutally honest. If I’m already dark and brooding, I become a shrew from the 8th layer of hell and anything anyone says is fair game for removing their testicles….with a dull, rusty knife….slowly….with words that will cut to the depths of someone’s soul. But other than that —
And, whoever came up with that “Have a Happy Period” campaign can bite me no matter what my DefCon rating is!
Try the mag oil. Seriously!!
I am praying for early menopause. About my period… What’s worse? The horrible cramps that wake me up in the middle of the night? The days of negativity beforehand? The days of brain fog and lethargy during my cycle? The fact that it’s completely irregular? The pill just made me worse…I actually felt kinda psycho on it, not to mention bloated like a whale…so I live with three to five days of hell each month. I’m starting to get hot flashes so maybe “the change” isn’t too far away!
I am going to say that they can tell you… a lot
I actually was malnourished from a really young age and my insides never fully developed… Which, due to improper eating of my own accord later on, I didn’t find out about until I was 20… I had to go on progesterone. Now I don’t have to take it to get a period (apparently the fake hormones helped to revive my period… first fake, then slowly become real) and while I can’t say I love that time that happens about every couple of months for me I do know that I have to take care of myself to get it.
It’s a sign of health. It’s a sign that you’re able to have children… which even though I’ve never had children – when I heard that I would probably not be able to (they weren’t sure if the progesterone would work) it still made me sad.
I think sometimes in this whole “women are equal to men” movement, we forget that yes… we might be equal, but YES we are different.
Why hide those differences? Aren’t we, by hiding them, saying that they are a weakness that necessitates hiding?
//ramble
Kat recently posted..15 Things You Need to Give Up
I get what you get too – however, luckily (sorry), mine only lasts a day or 2 at most. I need major amounts of red meat, and crave chocolate (totally stereotypical but so true). I’m pretty much dragging myself around doped up on aleve wishing I could just curl up and die and not think.
While exercise helps in the moment (sometimes), it doesn’t do anything long term and I usually just take it as a rest day, or at least, do something mellow like the elliptical.
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I would wholeheartedly second KDA’s DIvaCup recommendation…but don’t use one with an IUD! I was told it was okay to use a cup…until it dislodged my IUD and I had to go to an after-hours emergency clinic to get it removed. My ob/gyn called at “learning experience.” What a fiasco.
Many years ago, when I commented on how tired I get on my period, an ob/gyn nurse gave me a couple recommendations (not based on my specific health, just general “good for anybody” type of suggestions): vitamin B6, 50 mg every day; and vitamin B12, 1000 mcg per week. They made the world of difference. I also add a glass of tomato juice on day one (an old habit from my childhood to resist dehydration in the desert; I was always told it was for the potassium but I don’t know if that’s the only thing that makes it work). At this point it may be just a placebo for me, but it makes me feel rejuvenated.
I almost forgot, one more thing: “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler. A good read.
This post had me giggling. The brain fog can be so bad that I will be in the middle of a sentence and totally lose what I was going to say. Example, “The other day I was going to go to the……uuhhhhhhh….hmmm. No idea what I was going to say!” LOL
ABSOLUTELY YES! This has really been the major factor in managing my (however mild) PCOS. Since I choose not to use hormonal pharmaceuticals (I used to. And the side effects were traumatic, even long–years–after I stopped taking them), I have to listen to what my cycle is telling me every month. I take my temperatures every morning and monitor other “fertility” signs. Even though I’m not looking to get pregnant, this helps keep me in tune with what is going on in my body. For example, several tests I had last year told me I had high DHEA/DHEAS, high estrogen, low 17-OH progesterone, low cortisol, imbalanced FSH/LSH, and normal everything else. This isn’t exactly textbook PCOS stats, so I have to look at my issues differently. My OBGYN had no real answers for me, but my holistic doctor explained that one cause of my androgen dominance could be that my adrenals were overcompensating for the lack of cortisol with overproduction of DHEA/DHEAS. In turn, the imbalance in my adrenals was leading to an imbalance in my reproductive system, making my periods heavy and irregular. He suggestion a number of dietary changes to manage blood sugar, cutting gluten, and regular weight-bearing exercise.
Now I had done consistent exercise in the past, which lead to no improvement in my problems. But I had never done consistent weight-bearing exercise in tandem in these dietary changes until the last few months. And like magic, the month I started working out 2+ days per week in addition to low-gluten, managed-carbohydrate diet, I ovulated on day 15 (compared to day 19), and got my next period on day 28. Same happened the next month. And so far it looks to be that way for this month as well. And I have NEVER EVER before this year had cycles that short or regular, nor periods that light. I even had a period with absolutely no cramps–another feat.
Great information here- i wanted to add that many of my patients benefit greatly from chiropractic adjustments. Often when your lower spine is working overtime during your cycle, the muscles are screaming. My patients come in and find that they can cope much better when they get adjusted.
http://www.sherwoodchiropracticcenter.com
Thanks
Dr. C