Are “Ladies Who Workout” the New “Ladies Who Lunch”?

 

If a picture says 1,000 words, then this one of Sophia Loren lunching with Jayne Mansfield says about 5,000 I think.

Women of a certain age and station who get together at expensive venues to gossip, compliment each other’s clothes and vent about their children are a comedic staple from Saturday Night Live to John Stewart. They are the bourgeoisie! They wear adorable little hats! They are the 1%! They are… us? Well this is awkward.

As I sat on the stretching mats this morning after a killer workout with the Gym Buddies (we have discovered the salutary effects of playing the basketball game “lightning” – don’t laugh, we’re all really sore), it occurred to me – and not for the first time – how very privileged I am. Not only was I in a safe place doing what I wanted, wearing (supercute!) clean clothes, and hanging with my friends while other people cared for my children but I had the leisure and the means to care about things like what my optimal levels of vitamin D are or the best exercise to work my hamstrings.

Oh it’s not all “ladies of leisure”, to be sure. I have four really small kids underfoot most of the day. I have three part-time jobs (and that equals 1.5 full time jobs, right?). I do nearly all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and childcare as do most all of my friends. I drop exhausted into bed every night. And I’m far, far from rich. But it can’t be overstated how lucky I am. I love my children. I love my jobs – yes even the stupid SAT essay grading. Heck I even love cleaning my kitchen (shh, don’t tell anyone). Even when my life is hard, it’s still pretty awesome.

And it’s not just me and my social circle. You see it on TV, in magazines, with celebrities, reality stars, stars in their own minds and all the women who do their grocery shopping in $120 yoga pants to pick up the exotic ingredients for the green smoothie prescribed by their personal trainer. Yoga mats are the new place mats and gyms are the new French Bistro.

Because of this occasionally I look at my life and marvel at the absurdity of exercising every day (even if it’s just for an hour a day now!) so that I can go home and try to restrain myself from eating more calories than I need because my house is literally filled with food. It seems nuts to complain about how tired I am after a really heavy lifting session when I was lifting the same thing over and over again only to put it back in the same spot and I did it to myself! Especially when there are so many in the world who have to work jobs of intense physical labor only to go home to no food. Even taking out the poorest of the poor, there are so many for whom the basics of good health are a luxury far out of reach.

I’m going to be honest: this is hard for me to write. But it needs to be said. Indeed, some of you have commented saying, “I wish I got to hang out with gym buddies in the middle of the day.” (In my defense, I work pre-dawn and well into the night so really I just have different hours than you.) But happiness is not a zero-sum game. My happiness doesn’t prevent others from being happy and likewise my being miserable doesn’t make someone else happy. (Okay sometimes it does but that’s a post for another day.) And it doesn’t take away from the fact that exercise is, when not abused, a really good activity and that having a strong social support system is also integral to a happy, healthy life.

I just wish that everyone had the same opportunities. I’m not sure what to do exactly but I have two ideas.

1. Gratitude. I know how good I have it. I am so so grateful for my life. And I’m so thankful for all the people who help me so I can live it – like the school teachers who work so tirelessly with my kids, the child-care workers at my gym who love my kids like their own, the company that employs my husband, the people who have enough faith in me to pay me to do what I love, my friends and family who support me and for the plumber who came down into my basement of raw sewage, told me what to do to fix it and then didn’t even charge me for his time. Thank you. There have been times in my life that have been very difficult and I’m grateful every day to have made it through those to this.

2. Paying it forward. One of my favorite quotes (which now I can’t find the source for) says something like “Why are we here if not to make someone else’s life a little easier?” I love this. I aspire to this. I’m not this yet. But I want to be. I have a few plans which I’m not going to share here because I think talking about your good deeds kind of negates some of the good. I only mention it to let you know that I’m not just wallowing in my cognitive dissonance but doing something about it. Indeed, I started tonight. It made me really happy:)

And so now I ask you: Am I nuts or is Lululemon the new lace glove? Anyone else have these same feelings? I’m looking for more ideas – what do you do to help others around you? (Also, I’d love ideas that I can do with my kids – turns out you have to be 14 to work at a soup kitchen. I’d argue with them except I’ve seen what my kids do to my own kitchen and I’d ban them until 14 too if I could.)

To get you started – or just make you laugh – here’s the SNL Ladies Who Lunch skit! Kristen Wiig is brilliant.

52 Comments

  1. Hi Charlotte! Fantastic post. I feel like I am seeing a trend in outward displays of gratefulness (if Facebook activity over Thanksgiving is any indication!), and I am grateful for that. One way that I like to help someone else out is through Kiva. Loan to a micro entrepreneur somewhere in the world — even in the U.S. in places like Detroit and New Orleans — and get repaid, interest-free, so that you can eventually lend again if you choose. I think this is a fantastic family activity — crowd around the computer, read through borrower stories, and choose someone to lend to. Full disclosure here: I volunteered as a Kiva Fellow in Nepal, and I love the organization. But don’t take my word for it. Go to http://www.kiva.org and see for yourself the impact that a $25 loan can make.

  2. I love this post !

    I keep 2 journals. One for my Thank you cards. I write out and post (or give) thank you cards when someone does something for which I’m thankful. I even gave one to the staff at my local coffee shop ! I hand write the cards then write the message into my journal as well. Then if they respond or reply that also goes into my journal. If I’m feeling down I just read it !

    I also keep a separate gratitude diary. Absolutely brilliant way to pick up the spirits !

    I used to do a lot of charity work, then became dissillusioned with it (long story that isn’t even original or interesting ) but I’ve been looking around for something new lately. I’ve done the homeless vans; counselling hotlines; soup kitchens; spending Christmas day at a half-way house (totally awesome btw). I’ve also taught English to immigrants (I think you’d be good at this !)

    I want to do something different but don’t know what. It’s very frustrating.. If you find something I’d love to hear about it – maybe pinch the idea for myself 🙂

    • I love your journals! I have a gratitude journal right now but I could definitely be better about updating it. And I like the thank-you card idea as well! I have an e-mail folder that’s similar but hand-writing them is probably more effective. Thanks! And I will def. know what I find:)

  3. I have thoughts like this all the time. I get especially angry/depressed when I read dietary dogma debates online. People are sitting around on their computers arguing (and INSULTING each other) over FODMAPS, soy and gluten when millions of people are starving to death in this world. STARVING TO DEATH. They have nothing better to do with their time? Seriously? The minutia of their health is more important than the LIVES of millions of people? It boggles my mind. I guess I see dietary elitism as the new white gloves.

    What am I doing? Trying to be mindful by investing the dollars I am so incredibly fortunate to have in industries, businesses and individuals who are making a difference (and ‘investing in’ usually means buying their product). Trying to set a good example (with a minimum of preaching) for my kids and clients. Talking about the issue when it comes up. Bringing it up when the time seems right. Connecting with people who think similarly, there is strength in numbers. Living consciously.

    Thanks for bringing it up, you have such a broad readership, and it’s something that we need to be talking about.

  4. I think your way of dealing with ‘having’ more than other people is very healthy. It’s important to not beat up yourself over the fact that you were born into and are currently in better circumstances than pretty much most of the world’s population.

    Living in India, dealing with this isn’t so easy. In Canada–it wasn’t too hard. Healthcare is universal, if one is unable to find a job, the government has your back. The people begging on the streets are usually people with mental illnesses and/or addictions. Here, I have three or four skinny kids banging on my car window, on my way to work, begging for what amounts to less than one cent, everyday. And the thing is, you can’t give them money because it’s all collected by small time [or big time] mafia people or drunk parents/older children. You can’t even hand out biscuit packets because they’ll sell it and hand over the money. It’s a tough life.

    When I read your post about the fitness trainer gaining tons of weight and losing it, I couldn’t help but think of the starving beggars I encounter everyday.

  5. “Am I nuts or is Lululemon the new lace glove?” – Both? Just kidding!
    Even though I complain about being broke, I do realize sometimes that I’m actually living in luxury. I have a decent job, a car, a home, plenty of food, a loving husband. That’s a lot to be thankful for! Unfortunately, I tend to compare myself to my coworkers, who drive expensive cars, live in big houses, carry around their shiny smart phones (I want one, too!), go on vacations to Thailand, Egypt, or Croatia 2-3 times a year. Sigh!
    I tend to forget that there are many people in the world, even here in Europe, that have it much worse than me. Thanks for the reminder!

  6. Training clients all day reminds me that we all have so many things to be thankful for regardless of our different circumstances. They may have money to spend on training, but most are suffering with extreme body image issues and the ill effects of eating too much their whole lives. The world is a confusing place. Some people are starving and some people are overweight, but malnourished.
    Also, I love lululemon and can easily justify spending money on anything in that store- it’s what I wear every day. On the other hand, I am too cheap for a 30 dollar sweater at Gap. Hmmm… Lululemon is totally the new lace glove.

    • The world IS a confusing place. And for the record, I’m not knocking anyone who wears Lulu. I have some myself…

  7. Here’s a few things I’ve done with my children:

    Volunteer at the local humane society – My little guy loves to volunteer his time playing with the kittens. My older children will walk dogs or purchase pet food/toys/blankets to donate to the shelter.

    Adopt a child/family for the holidays – There are established programs that will give you a wish list and general description of the family wants/need and you get to shop for them.

    Holiday cards – You can look for a program that will make sure lonely and sick people get some holiday cheer this time of year.

    • These are fabulous ideas! We already do #2 every year but I hadn’t thought of your other ideas and my kids would love it! THank you!!

  8. You are already paying it forward. With your blog and the articles your write, you are inspiring people to live a healthier life style.

    I volunteer with a woman who has special needs. She lives in a group home and though she has family in town, many of them need extra help and they aren’t able to be a regular part of her life. She and I go out every couple weeks and have dinner or go shopping. Everyone needs a friend to do things with who isn’t being paid to hang out with you.

    What can you do with your kids? Will a food bank help them sort food? Kids are GREAT at sorting! Is there a nursing home they could visit once every couple of weeks? Many people in nursing homes don’t have special visitors to look forward to seeing. (you may want to wait for the spring for this one as flu season can be devastating in nursing homes). One of my friends daughters is making Christmas cards and selling them to donate the money to a local hospital. She has raised over $100 already! Pretty good for a 6 year old!
    I regularly buy peanut butter to put in the food donation bin at our grocery store and use that as a chance to talk to my kids about how lucky we are. One of our Christmas activities is always choosing a toy to donate to our local Christmas toy drive, again another teaching opportunity. We also donate some of our own toys, but that’s more about clearing out the clutter before more comes in on the 25th!
    If there is space on your church grounds, you could talk to the church about creating a community garden where you grow veggies and those in the community who need food can come and help themselves when it has grown. Kids love to play in the garden!

  9. I view your workout time as taking time “out” for yourself. You are incredibly busy and that time is a sort of reset…no need to rationalize the luxury of it! I assume your 1.5 jobs doesn’t include your children. If not you probably really have 5.5 jobs!

    As for the giving back, that is another thing that I find to be mostly invigorating. No matter what we come from we can always look within ourselves to give to others. In our society that is so self focused it is really a blessing to be able to step outside of ourselves and give!

    As for ideas of things to do with kids, that is a hard one. Sadly there are so many regulations surrounding volunteering that you usually have to be a certain age to do it!

    How did you become an SAT grader? That sounds fun!

    • Ha – so true!! I guess I do have like 5 jobs then. As for the SATs – you need to have at least 3 years or more of experience teaching at a high school or university level. If you’re still interested, e-mail me and I’ll send you the link to their HR page!

  10. I think it’s always a case of “the grass is greener” when it comes to work and how people allocate the “spare” time they have in their day. The truth is, fitness is part of your job, and the fact that it can also serve as a mental health break is simply an added job perk, in a way. We all need a release, so whether it’s working out for a half hour in a semi-social setting or meeting a friend for some tea, taking that small amount of time for yourself is self-care, not selfish.

    With that said, I do get annoyed when people brag about spending $200 on a pair of yoga pants or doing 12 pilates classes a day when I’m working 10 hours a day and fitting in a quick session at the gym donning $12 workout pants and a T-shirt, my general gym uniform (we are not fancy in my area.) But to each their own, and all we can do is take care of ourselves and set an example of how we live our lives authentically.

    Shameless plug, but I love giving back–even if I don’t have much to give–which is what I’m trying to do with my book. We all have a “cause,” and with animals being mine, I figured I could use my sarcasm to fund our annual gift. Times are tight, and giving part of yourself instead of “things” is often so much more rewarding!

    • This is so true: “all we can do is take care of ourselves and set an example of how we live our lives authentically.” And thanks for cutting me a break when I couldn’t cut myself one:) And your book?? I think I missed the announcement – I’ll go back and check your blog!!

  11. Just because I think this might make you feel less alone in this belief… Ashley over @NTS wrote a piece regarding how running is a privilege (thank you google for not making me sift through a TON of her posts) — http://www.nourishing-the-soul.com/2010/10/running-is-a-privilege/

    I must say that I agree with you. I think even *what* we run in… or work out in is a privilege. I clad my feet in $150 running shoes, I clad my body in probably $300 -$400 (hey, it’s winter… and thermal gear is expensive) worth of clothes… Running races? Even 5ks are starting to average $25-$30…

    So let’s just say I’m grateful my body lets me. Grateful I have the time to. Grateful I have the finances to let me.

    • and I just realized you probably already read that NTS post… whoops!

      • I might have read it at the time – I do love Ashley! – but my mind is like a sieve and I def. appreciated the refresher! She always has such a great perspective.

  12. I deal with a TON of conflicted feelings about this when I get back from doing my fieldwork in the tropics. I’m surrounded by people living hand-to-mouth and working incredibly hard lives just to scrape by and afford white rice for every meal.

    Honestly, going to Target within a week of returning is enough to make me physically ill. Culture shock much? Six different kinds of Raisin Bran, wtf? Is that really the most useful way to channel our energy and innovation? I hate to sound sanctimonious, because there are 4 different kinds of cereal in my kitchen as I type this, but it’s just extremely thought-provoking and powerful sometimes.

    Same deal with going to the gym. Exercise addiction is a huge deal for me, and I can’t help but think about all the hours I literally burn every day, when I could be using that time to make the most of other social and educational advantages of living in a developed nation, ones that any person in the village near my research site would never even dream of having. I think I do a good job of being conscious and not taking my lifestyle for granted (with the exception of continuing to waste time on overexercise), but it’s hard not to sink into all kinds of guilty contemplation about it.

    I could ramble about this topic for a long time and am probably going off on a tangent now. I think one image I will never shake is that of a broken down woman, probably about 30 but stooped like a 60 year old, spraying chemicals on tomato plants, maskless, with a maskless baby riding on her back and squinting from being downwind of the spray. Comparing her to the women of comparable age that I see picking those tomatoes off their salads at restaurants…I don’t know.

    • ” it’s hard not to sink into all kinds of guilty contemplation about it.” – You and me both:) And your description of the tomato woman BREAKS my heart. There is so much need.

  13. Love this post, Charlotte. I’ve never thought of exercising with friends as the new “Ladies Who Lunch.” In my case, it’s running with some fantastic ladies and having dinner afterward every Thursday evening. I love it and look forward to it.

    My passion, and I truly believe a big part of my purpose, is therapeutic horseback riding for people with disabilities. I’ve been involved for almost half of my life (literally, just a few months short) and can’t seem to get enough. It’s what makes me happy and defines a large part of who I am. The strange thing is that no matter how many hours I give of my time, I always feel like I get more out of it than I give.

    Being generous and caring about others is something my mom taught me and it has lead me to lots of good….coaching Special Olympics, donating toys to Toys For Tots, donating mittens and hats during the yearly collection drives, doing charity runs/events, volunteering at the animal shelter, giving clothes to Goodwill instead of throwing them away, etc.

    As far as things to do with your kids….a few years ago the local library in my area was looking for books to go to specific children of low-income families in the area. They had a Christmas tree with the names and ages of children; you pick one and buy a book for them, returning it to the library with the tag. If your library does such a thing, how about having each of your children pick a tag for a child their age and then pick out a book they think the other kid would like?

    Another similar idea would be Toys for Tots…have each of your children pick out a toy they think someone their age would like and donate it. It’s a great way to enforce generosity and thinking about others.

    • Great ideas Heather! We are already helping with the Toys for Tots program in my area but I’ll def. check into the library!

  14. Yeah, I’m job hunting now and sometimes I think about the craziness of looking for a job that, while I will enjoy at least sometimes, is mostly to make money to buy things that I can use in the time I’ll have left around working. And now, planning my wedding and getting an engagement ring I can’t believe how much money people spend on a party or a piece of metal and stone when there are children starving. They have registries these days that let guests contribute to a charity of your choice. I think I’m going to do that. And I’ll take your reminder to be grateful to heart!

    • “s mostly to make money to buy things that I can use in the time I’ll have left around working.” Good point! And this is a wee bit off topic but squeeeeee!!! Congrats on getting engaged! Hate to be a total girl about this but I love weddings (and babies and puppies….) and I’m just grinning right now. Enjoy this time:)

      • Aw, thanks! I am actually super excited, needlessly expensive ring and all 😀 I can’t wait to try on dresses, etc! I think I may have been having a tiny bit of a cynical day yesterday. But I am still for sure doing the charity registry thing. I’m fortunate enough to be able to have a nice party for my wedding and we don’t need a bunch of new kitchenware.

  15. “My happiness doesn’t prevent others from being happy and likewise my being miserable doesn’t make someone else happy.” This is a truth that a)100% of blog readers need to grasp before they type one word on a comment and b)I need to fully grasp myself. Very well said.

    I, too, frequently think about how AMAZINGLY blessed I am to even have a body that will do what I ask of it when called upon to move, bend, stretch, and sweat. I have recently moved to a new area — left my awesome gym buddies behind. 🙁 VERY sad day. But in the gratitude, I will find and be provided with new ones as my season of life permits and allows.

    Thanks for this post.

    • ((hugs)) Sarah! I have moved a lot (a lot a lot) in my life and I don’t think people realize how difficult a move can be. Literally every piece of your life is turned upside down. Nothing is familiar. Not only do you have to memorize a new address but you have to find new grocery stores, doctors, schools, libraries…everything. And it’s even harder if you have to help your children adjust as well. My heart goes out to you – so glad you have a positive attitude about it though. I think that goes a long way. You’ll have new friends in no time and if you live anywhere in the Minneapolis area we’ll adopt you as a new Gym Buddy!

  16. I grew up in an upper middle class home. Money was never an issue. The day I met and fell in love with my hubby was the day that ruined my fathers life. Randy was neither from a Jewish family or one with money. My father disowned me and that was the last day the money was never an issue for me. For 5 year hubby and I have struggled. We have gone through bankruptcy, from living on our own to moving in with the in laws. Before we moved in with the in laws Randy and I had to get the cheapest things at the store.

    We are now 2 months away from going back out on our own and I am ecstatic! I have lived the high life and the low life and let me tell you. I took so many things for granted when I was young! And even though we can’t buy what ever we want I still am thankful for what I do have and my loving family!

    • Seriously – your father disowned you? Who does that?! Being a mom now myself I cannot imagine any circumstance, much less something like marrying a person you love, that would cause me to love my babies one iota less. I’m so sorry Erin!

  17. My mum liked to say that the ability to make other’s happy was a gift. I agree. I think there are so many little things we can do in a day that we are uniquely suited for that we can do that help others…
    It’s a challenge sometimes thinking of all I have and not feeling guilty about it. Yest I’ve worked hard for what I have, but there are so many people with so little. My sister has taken in foster kids and it’s been real lesson to all of us seeing their reactions to things I consider everyday “essentials”…helps you keep perspective. I try and give what I can when I can and be a good steward of what I’ve been given. It’s a start 🙂

    • ” I try and give what I can when I can and be a good steward of what I’ve been given.” I’d say that’s more than a good start! I love this.

  18. Oh dear, I’m afraid I’m probably a Lady Who Lunches. While I know quite well I’m incredibly fortunate, and I”m pretty good on the gratitude part, I’m not sure I do enough to pay it forward… thanks for the reminder!

  19. OK, this is getting freaky! I was in Whole Foods (where we all go after training, dahlink!) and thinking about this. After all, I was shopping in Whole Foods, wearing, um, well, Lucy, not Lululemon (which I also love), having come from the gym. Of course, I’d just come from a session in which I was the trainER rather than the trianEE, and I definitely don’t have the tight Lululemon Bod (as I call it) that the other ladies had, or the unlimited resources, or the team of nannies, but still…
    ARE we the ladies who lunch? Am I one of them? Granted, a session on the reformer is healthier than a 3-martini lunch, but much else is the same. And I felt a bit odd about it. I wondered if I’m turning into a clone, with my gym togs and my coffee cup and my re-usable bags. But then I looked at my other bags (the ones under my eyes), my unkempt ponytail, the sweat stains on my shirt, and the fact that I would soon be racing off to pick up my kids myself before heading back to work, and I felt better.
    I think the fact that you take one hour a day for yourself hardly qualifies you as a lady of leisure! I imagine it’s what keeps you sane!

    • Ha – true! And I’m not very sane to begin with so I really need the help:) I’ve said this before but someday we need to be neighbors…

  20. This really reminds me of a thought I had last week when I was having a mini crisis over being on vacation and on the road for the holidays and thus not going to the gym every day (I think last week was the first week I’ve rested more days than I’ve worked out since I was 16!) — what did people used to do to stay “skinny”? My naturally thin mother, who doesn’t work out now and certainly didn’t work out when she was my age 30 years ago never fought with her body. Maybe if I never learned what a calorie was, got so into cardio, etc. I’d have ended up skinny anyways? My grandma certainly never knew “working out” but managed to stay thin her entire life. Both of them have serious sweet tooths and enjoy all kinds of foods I’ve sworn off for years. Epiphany, maybe?

    I got on the scale after my week away and realized I’d had a drink four nights in a row, worked out less than ever, and had eaten Thanksgiving dinner complete with pie after all my meals out at restaurants for a week and had actually lost a pound. Epiphany, definitely.

    • Epiphany indeed! I love it! And this: “Maybe if I never learned what a calorie was, got so into cardio, etc. I’d have ended up skinny anyways? ” I have TOTALLY had this same thought. We make our work about our bodies instead of making our bodies help us in our work. It’s weird.

  21. Just catching up on everyone’s comments. Wow – what fantastic readers you have ! Every time I think the world is going down the drain I’ll come back and re-read this to remind myself of all the people who do so much and never make it on the news. There should be an anti-news program that shows people doing amazing things like volunteering. I’m sure the world would be a better place 🙂

    Thank you again for this post !

  22. for those who may or may not know–the above photo: In April 1957, her bosom was the feature of a notorious publicity stunt intended to deflect attention from Sophia Loren during a dinner party in the Italian star’s honor. Photographs of the encounter were published around the world. The most famous image showed Loren’s gaze falling upon the cleavage of the American actress who, sitting between Loren and her dinner companion, Clifton Webb, had leaned over the table, allowing her breasts to spill over her low neckline and exposing one nipple.[63] The image was one of several taken in the same minutes as the image visible left. A similar incident, resulting in the full exposure of both breasts, occurred during a film festival in West Berlin, when Mansfield was wearing a low-cut dress and her second husband, Mickey Hargitay, picked her up so she could bite a bunch of grapes hanging overhead at a party; the movement caused her breasts to erupt out of the dress. The photograph of that episode was a UPI sensation, appearing in newspapers and magazines with the word “censored” hiding the actress’s exposed bosom.

    via wikipedia
    ;p

  23. I recently was on a 9 month “bulk”–eating over maintenance and lifting heavy in order to pack on some muscle–and during it I’d occasionally be whining to my online friends about how hard it was to eat 2300 calories a day or how expensive all the extra protein was when it would strike me how ridiculous I was. People are starving all over the world and I’m complaining about how much I “have” to eat? Not my proudest moment.

    I try to give to the charities I believe in as much as I can. This may sound weird, but I also try, in this crappy economy , to use what disposable income I have to support local small businesses. Yeah, it’s cheaper to make coffee at home, but occasionally getting something from one of the hipster cafes across from my gym helps out a small business owner and keeps their waitresses and baristas employed. Yeah, I can color my hair at home and give up pedicures and the occasional massage, but when I can squeeze it into my budget to pay someone else for these services and tip them well, I know I’m helping out someone who’s working hard and scrambling in a really tough economy.

  24. Lovely idea from you and posted in the comments. I, too, am fortunately enough that I can choose to go workout in the late morning. I currently do not work outside the home and have incredible freedom to do what I wish to do/what needs to be done by my own schedule.

    That said, last summer I made a point of one of those “things that must be done” being volunteering at an urban farm space. I’d be there only 3-5 hours/week, which meant I could give all out of my energy while there. I was constantly amazed how this one corner in a poor part of town seemed constantly blessed by sunshine and mild temperatures.

  25. I’m not even done reading this blog post (and what I really should be reading is my Persian Lit paper due in 7 minutes that I need to proofread), but I saw this line and had to comment:

    “My happiness doesn’t prevent others from being happy and likewise my being miserable doesn’t make someone else happy.”

    SO TRUE. The moment that I realized this- that just because someone else had something I wanted and was happy DID NOT mean that I had to be miserable- I became a better, and happier, person. Happiness is not a finite thing. There is not only 2492749 units of happiness in the world. We can all be happy. There is enough happy to go around for everyone. I’ve had a tough couple of months and sometimes it’s hard to not get caught up in how seemingly wonderful my friends’ lives are and feel jealous, but in the end, we can all be happy, we just have to choose to be that way.

    This is probably a complete tangent and not at all related to the rest of the post, but I just had to share!

    Back to proofreading….

  26. “My happiness doesn’t prevent others from being happy and likewise my being miserable doesn’t make someone else happy.”

    Thank you for that quote. I’ve spent so much time feeling guilty about having a nice life compared to people under much worse circumstances in developing countries, so what you said there makes so much sense and did help me feel better. 😀

  27. This is a really great post and I think you make a very interesting observation. (This comment sound so spammy…sorry!) I, too, am very privileged and quite honestly, I’m not always as grateful as I should be. Right now, I’m focused on pouring as much as I can into my children b/c I know they won’t be with me forever. I do wish I did more for others though and it’s good to be reminded!

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