What’s Your Definition of Beauty? [Finding the balance in caring too much and too little]


I find beauty in strength: This is an outtake from pics for another post (coming soon!) and while nothing is right about my pose – my son snapped the pic too soon – everything is right about my shoulder and arm! Good golly I worked hard for those delts and biceps! They are beautiful to me because they remind me of how hard I can work, how well I can tolerate pain and how high I can lift my kids and swing them around. 

The scene: Costco, 10 a.m. on a Thursday.

The girl: Tall, tanned, uber-thin with long, straight, shiny hair. She was so put together with a perfect outfit with adorable sky-high heels and coordinating jewelry. And she had that impeccable makeup where she did a “smoky eye” that looked artistic rather than dirty (which is how it looks when I attempt it). False eyelashes and red lipstick completed the look. She was absolutely stunning and I felt a little like a creeper because I couldn’t stop staring at her. She could have been a model but guessing from the baby in her cart and the jumbo packages of diapers and Annie’s crackers, she was a mom just like me.

The reaction: Total ambivalence. On one hand, I desperately wanted to be her. She was utterly flawless. But on the other hand – false eyelashes and stilettos? For Costco?? (Although hey, what do I know? Maybe she just finished a casting call and stopped by the store on the way home? Maybe she’s married to a pro baller?) As I stood behind her in line, tugging at my sweat-soaked ponytail and smelly gym clothes – I always end up running errands after the gym when I look like I just finished Jell-O wrestling – it occurred to me that this example pretty much sums up my feelings about physical beauty in general: I want to have it but I don’t want to be expected to have it and I certainly don’t want it to be the only kind of beauty I have.

I’m not the only one who’s confused. I would argue that society as a whole is caught up in this bipolar attraction to and vilification of outer beauty. Oscar Wilde explained it perfectly with this pithy adage: “It’s better to be beautiful than to be good, but it’s better to be good than to be ugly.” This is even more entertaining when you consider Wilde lived in an age before boob jobs, botox and bronzer (also known as the Kardashian triple threat). Apparently we have always been thus.

All of which is not to say that caring about how you look is bad. I certainly do. I think it’s about finding the balance between caring too little and caring too much. It’s about knowing how to highlight the truly beautiful parts of you rather than trying to create a new being out of whole cloth (or plastic, as the case may be). It’s about finding a way to show your true beauty through your soul and not worrying as much about the pretty package it’s tied up in. (And I can tell you for darn sure it’s not about losing 10 pounds – a HUGE thank you to everyone who commented yesterday, you guys amaze, uplift and inspire me!)

Honestly, I’m not sure how to do this. I’m not going to boycott mirrors for a year like one brave blogger (is that even humanly possible?). At the very least my squat form would go all to heck, and we already know I have a butt wink that’s as subtle as Cher on an aircraft carrier.

Enter bareMinerals The Force of Beauty campaign, which is all about emphasizing the ways beauty can go beyond appearance. Considering they are a makeup company, I found this really interesting as makeup is my personal battleground where all of these mixed feelings play out. In high school, I went goth and wore so much makeup I cried like Boy George, which was often because I was very angsty. Then I went grunge (yay, 90’s!) and I went for a couple of years without regularly wearing anything beyond Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers. New motherhood had me entirely barefaced most days as even basic hygiene was a luxury. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized there is a reason that lipstick exists, and it’s because your lips naturally turn the color of the surrounding skin. It’s very unnerving to glance in a mirror and think where did my lips go?! So now, most days, I am pro makeup. (Although as I type this I’m not wearing a darn thing, ironically.)

My essentials are eyeliner on top, mascara and lip gloss. If it’s Sunday or I’m going somewhere fancy (like the PTO meeting, my life is super exciting) then I’ll add some foundation and blush. The one thing I’ve never been able to master? Eyeshadow. I have very small, very deep-set eyes, so most eyeshadows don’t do me any favors.

So when bareMinerals® sent me some bareMinerals READY™ Eyeshadow 2.0 to try out as part of their campaign, my first instinct was to try to get out of it. I’d originally signed up to review their foundation, which I love – it’s light, and it never irritates my sensitive skin – but at the last minute the promo changed to my arch nemesis: eyeshadow. So I enlisted my friend Adrianne, the eye-makeup queen, to help me out. She always looks so fun and fashion-forward; I hoped she could work her magic on me and my “Hilton squint.” Hijinx ensued, naturally.

We started by reading the Very Big Book that came with the very tiny compact. Oh yes, we’re ready!

And so is Adrianne’s kitty! He loved the Very Big Book…to sleep on. 

The bareMinerals READY™ Eyeshadow 2.0 (That’s hello spelled backward and upside down on the mirror.) Adrianne’s first comment? “You have very crepe-y eyelids.” Fab, I’ll add that to my disappearing lips of Things I Dislike About Aging!

My “day look” courtesy of Adrianne. Nice! (Ducklips!)

Then we got silly. Emerald green? Yes, please!

My turn! You wouldn’t think that red and purple, the official colors of bruise, would be good but I think she pulls the eye-hematoma look off nicely. Took me 15 minutes to do her eyeliner, by the way, and I didn’t even stab her in the eye!

So in the end, I’m still really confused about make-up.

On one hand, I love love love dressing up! On the other hand, do we really live in a world where false eyelashes are necessary to buy diapers? Help me out – am I the only one with this ambivalence?

Tell me about how you define beauty and find the balance between caring too much and too little. Anyone else stymied by eye shadow? And for kicks bareMinerals® would like to send one of you a READY Eyeshadow 2.o!

To enter here’s all the usual fine-print stuff…

Rules:

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This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from October 25 – November 22, 2011.

Be sure to visit the Promotions & Prizes page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! For even more information, become a fan of Bare Escentuals® on their Facebook page!

78 Comments

  1. I think inner beauty is definitely more important and if caring for your physical beauty is robbing you of time to spend with your family, enjoying life and becoming a beautiful person then it is too much.

    That said, I think every woman should do whatever it is that makes her feel confidant and happy. Lifting weights, wearing fake eyelashes at Costco, manicures, tanning, lip gloss… Whatever your thing is that makes you feel good, I say rock it.

    • I totally agree with this: “That said, I think every woman should do whatever it is that makes her feel confidant and happy.” It’s so individual.

  2. I want to say that I think beauty is being healthy and taking basic care of yourself. However, I apparently hold myself to a different standard then others or have a very distorted body/beauty image when it comes to myself.

    I can’t imagine getting that dressed up to go to Costco, but then again I know everyone at our location and have a hard enough time getting my 2 yr old and infant ready to leave that if I tried to do much other than shower I’d never leave the house.

    Eyeshadow stumps me. I can’t figure out how to make it look fancy like everyone else can. I feel like I missed some sort of class in my pre-adolesent phase that taught these skills. I have makeup and I hardly wear it. Go figure.

  3. I’m ambivalent about it. I’m 24, and can skate by on youth most days, but, on days where I’m running on almost no sleep (thanks, 1-hour per way commute), it feels like the mirror in the bathroom at work is just slapping me in the face. Also, the 10ish (10+) pounds I found since getting married (anyone lose them and want them back) aren’t helping, as most of my clothes are tight, in that awkward between-size stage.

    Honestly, part of me (the irresponsible part) wants to go to a hair & makeup spa-type boot camp on vacation (do they have those?), but the realistic part of me knows that I’d still skip hair & makeup most days.

    I try to go for “awesome”, because it’s never too much (like stilettos & false eyelashes in Costco) & honestly feel most amazing when wearing something I’ve knitted or found at a vintage store, or on sale, kind of like “Oh hello person who looks ready for their photo shoot, LOOK AT MY AWESOME”. I’m babbling now. Time to back away from the computer.

    • I’m totally stealing this: ““Oh hello person who looks ready for their photo shoot, LOOK AT MY AWESOME”. !!! Love.

  4. It can be a hard balance to strike. I am fine with external things such as make-up and hair products provided that using them doesn’t take up much of my life. I am such an active person and wearing that much of the stuff would actually hinder my life both in terms of time and the physical act of wearing all that goop.

    I wrote a post last week on the plastic surgery in America. You might enjoy this one! http://balancingontwofeet.com/2011/10/11/the-plastification-of-america/

  5. I’ll just have to go for inner/natural beauty. I’m completely stymied by ALL makeup. No clue how to wear/apply it so I never do.

  6. My first thought was this girl is probably a babysitter or nanny if she’s got the time to apply false eyelashes (and isn’t so sleep deprived, with a kid requiring diapers, that she stuck them to her eyelid and not her eyebrow).

    And “it occurred to me that this example pretty much sums up my feelings about physical beauty in general: I want to have it” – yeah, I’m not sure this girl in the store HAS beauty either – she’s just good at faking it and hiding what she really looks like.

    As for makeup and looks… well, I do think you need to pay some attention. You wouldn’t show up to a job interview in sweat pants and a tshirt, not having showered for three days. But makeup’s just an extension of that. I wear a little mascara and eyeliner (no lipstick – mine are always red no matter what) if I’m going anywhere I wouldn’t go in gym clothes, basically (and I run errands on the way home from working out too – must be nice for fake-everything-girl to have time to go home and shower and get all dolled up to run BACK out to the store, but some of us have other things that need to be done. And realize that there’s not a tv camera following us everywhere.) My general rule is I enhance what I have – but if I ever wore so much makeup that when I went to take it off, my boyfriend didn’t recognize me, that’s a problem! Makeup’s a tool, just like hair products and buying clothes that fit and flatter my body top. Personally, I just don’t want to wear a mask.

  7. I defer to Forest gump!

    “Beauty is as Beauty does!”

  8. I wonder if that mother had eyelash “extensions”? A friend of mine got them, they are glued directly to your eyelash and stay on for several months. I have to admit when I see her I feel a huge amount of envy as they are gorgeous, but also expensive (over $100 to put on).

  9. I agree with this statement exactly!: “I want to have it but I don’t want to be expected to have it”

    I love putting on makeup and looking put-together, but it’s such an unnatural thing for me that I don’t love to do it very often. I have found myself gravitating toward the mascara-eyeliner-lip gloss combo as well, if only because I can get away with going to bed without scrubbing my face when I keep the makeup light.

  10. Sinner Ella aka Heather

    First of all, again I thank you and so many other “bloggers” (what a dumb @$$ word!) for putting yourselves and your insecurities out in the interwebs to forever to be seen, read, and picked at. I admire you all for the courage (and stick-to-it-ive-ness) it takes to do this every day. And in your case, the ninja-like time management skills you have with a brood your size to actually find the time to put coherent thoughts together for slackers like me to read and relate to.
    Now, onto the ACTUAL topic. (I have adult A. D. D. And get distracted like a squirrel on crack) I am also one who tends to be envious of the physical beauty, especially when accompanied by a miniature version of a person. (aka baby or small child) I’ve been left in the dust of the physical beauty race and am quite bitter about it. My friends (mostly also testosterone laden females with personal competitive issues in some form) have concluded that the women we see out in bars with 20 lbs. of makeup on with a tiny skirt have a personality or other physical flaw they are trying to hide. (We joke that they usually have NO personality, bad teeth or an angry vagina. Yes, we’re horrible people.) But I admit that the women I see with perfectly accentuated eyes and a set of eyebrows sculpted by the Greek Gods leave me whimpering on the inside. (I’ll never admit it in public) I’ve never been able to figure out what colors work for me or

  11. Sinner Ella aka Heather

    How to apply it artistically without looking Dali-esque.
    I find MY beauty in my inappropriate humor (as demonstrated during funerals and moments of silence ay church weddings) and in my physical ability to keep up with my kids and run a 5K in 32 minutes and knock out someone my husband’s size if I need to. (6′ 340 lbs.) And my obsessive love for firearms and creative profain insults.
    I am 31, a mother of 3, a wife, college student, daughter, and a loyaly-to-a-self-depricating-point friend. I wear my spandex gym clothes to school, hardly ever have time to brush my hair so its in a rubber band, and I am constantly jacked up on caffeine and running.g like crazy. I’m beautiful in my own way, though I have to really look for it to see it most days. I’ll take it, cause it’s me and I’m not gonna change it for anyone. Not no way. Not no how.
    Have a great day and know that the o.ly beauty that really counts is in your soul. But if you wanna slap on some mascara (Boy George like or other) you deserve to feel your own kind of beautiful.
    And on a side note, when I was 5 and didn’t know any better, I wanted to.marry Boy George AND Micheal Jackson. Alternate days, of course. 😉

  12. Sinner Ella aka Heather

    I know, I never stfu, but I shared this b/c it’s awesome. Twitter.com/SinnerEllaDeVil AND it’s so awesome, I shared it again Facebook.com/sinnerella

  13. I agree. When I feel like actually putting the effort in it’s nice to dress up and look good. But sometimes I just want to be able to go to the grocery store sans any makeup and not feel like I should wear a bag over my head. I know some of it is body dysmorphia but I do feel like it’s expected that we’ll look good all the time. Mostly I just try to compromise and spend a couple minutes on light makeup and not obsess.

    My favorite makeup product actually is bareMinerals powder for under eyes. When you’re as pale as I am and have dark circles all the time naturally that stuff is amazing. I haven’t found anything else that covers them up as well as that. Even when the only other thing I wear is a little blush (pale!) I wear that stuff.

  14. Short answer? I dunno.

    Defining beauty is hard. I have to agree with Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when he famously punted on an attempt to define obscenity—he simply said, “I know it when I see it.”

    It’s that way for me with beauty. I’ll see a woman wearing provocative clothes and sexy makeup and think, “Wow, she’s beautiful.” Then I’ll see a woman with no makeup wearing loose jeans and a baggy sweatshirt and think the same. What’s the connection?

    Contrarily, I’ve seen plenty of women with objectively awesome bodies/hair/faces who look silly when dressed in “sexy” garb.

    It sounds corny, but I think beauty lies in the way a woman carries herself. Self-confidence, a carefree air, and just a simple smile are the sexiest, most consistently significant components of beauty.

  15. It’s funny, I caught a vision of my just-woken-up-self in the mirror and, unfortunately, my first thought was “When did I get so ugly?” Nice, right?
    Then there are the moments when I wonder if life would be easier if I were prettier. It’s that L.A. mentality sneaking back up on me, in which looks are everything. But then I think about all the hard work that goes into the upkeep of beauty, and the desperation I see in women as they get older and aren’t considered as “hot” as they once were, and the insecurity that comes from believing that how you look is the only thing people like about you.
    Finally, I think about the friends I’ve had for years and years, many of whom I haven’t laid eyes on in nearly 2 decades, yet we’re still close. And I am so thankful for that! That beats any perfect hair day by a long shot!

  16. When it comes to make up, I’m lazy. I love how I look when I go out all dolled up, but most of the time I don’t have the time or the engery to put it on. I can’t seem to draw a straight line with the eyeliner EVER.

    And for me I see no point to wear make up most of the time because I’m in the gym 24/7 either working out or training someone. I don’t have the time to constantly reapply make up (which is necessary since I sweat any make up off in 2 seconds).

    But whatever works for you is great! If you you have the time and engery to put make up on everyday, my hats off to you! (P.S. and if someone could teach me to draw a straight line with the eyeliner I may wear it more often haha).

  17. Why does beauty require makeup?

  18. <3The Picture of Dorian Gray
    And eye shadow has ALWAYS eluded me. Just…does…not…compute. I look like I smeared ash on my face any time I try to do something fancy.

    I wish I could give you some awesome, unique definition of beauty, but for me the truth is rather cliched…it has to come from within. A beautiful person is much less beautiful if they don't have any character or a good heart.

    When I was younger I used to care more about dressing up. These days I save it for special occasions or when the mood strikes me. I work in an office where we're allowed to wear pretty much whatever we want. If given the choice to wear stilettos or my chucks, I'm most likely going for the chucks. That's how I balance, considering I've lost my knack for walking in heels 😛

  19. I used to put on makeup only when I could think of someone I would see that day who would ‘care.’ Of course, I am pretty sure no one but me cared in the end. Lately, I’m trying to get myself together in the morning because I care. Isn’t that supposed to be enough to motivate us?

  20. Love your take on beauty. I for one had to cut out all the negative media influence and even just immediate social influence (people finding me attractive or not finding me attractive) and focus on what makes me feel beautiful. And what I discovered has been exhilarating–a good workout, time spent laughing with friends, and yes, sometimes doing myself up fancy and putting on heels and make-up. But it all comes within, even those external manifestations. Because there are times when I can dress up and still not feel good about myself. So, it all has to come from within.

  21. First of all i have to say i LOVE LOVE LOVE Bare Escentials! All the makeup i use is Bare Escentials and i love everything. My skin has never looked better (w/ or w/o makeup). I too usually just do the eyeliner and mascara but use eyeshadow on “special occasions.” I can’t really get the hang of fancy eyeshadow techniques so i just stick to a neutral color and put it mostly in the crease.

    I struggle w/ the balance of focusing on looking good (including exercising, clothes shopping, reading about health/nutrition, etc). Its become like a hobby for me though and i think as long as it doesn’t take away from more important things, thats ok. Life is all about balance though when you think about it and its hard to find the balance in everything.

  22. Makeup just confuses me. I wear a natural/bronze blush and lip gloss, plus BareMinerals foundation. I LOVE the foundation. I don’t usually wear eyeshadow or anything on my eyes because it’s too much work, and because I tend to rub my eyes a lot and that doesn’t do me any favors.

    This has been something that is difficult for me from an IE perspective – without loads of “You’re losing weight, yay you!” praise, I just feel “blah” and I’m struggling with the thought of never getting those compliments again. It makes me not care anymore about anything, clothes or makeup wise, and I just feel dumpy. Maybe I should go shopping and get some new stuff!

  23. Ahhh what you said about beauty “I want to have it but I don’t want to be expected to have it and I certainly don’t want it to be the only kind of beauty I have.” is EXACTLY how I feel!!

  24. Most days I go completely without any makeup, but I’ve always been complimented on my skin tone and clarity, so I feel I don’t need it. When I do wear makeup (mostly weekend evenings), I’ll do my eyes with eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara then add a dab of lip gloss. Pretty simple.

    As for the eye makeup, I finally learned in the past year how to do different things with it so it isn’t just one plain color on the eyelid. I learned a lot from the friendly artists at MAC counters.

  25. 1. Your bicep in that top picture is amazing. I absolutely long for sculpted arms.
    2. I wear pretty minimal makeup, but I’m DYING for a change. My sister recently became a Mary Kay consultant, and next time I see her she needs to give me a makeover.
    3. I’ve always worn eyeshadow, and it’s pretty much been a sparkly brown since about 1994. But that’s it on eye makeup for me, and it only goes on my actual eye lid. I wouldn’t begin to know what to do with eye liner, and I rarely bother with mascara.

  26. I just recently developed an unhealthy obsession with eyeshadow. My approach to it is more “Wheeee I can paint my eyelids colors” than a sophisticated palette of elegance type thing.

    I would also love to be wonderfully well-turned-out but realistically I am NEVER going to be. I can’t see myself ever deciding that I need to get up at 5 to make myself pretty…and then get puked on by a babyhead.

    I went back to bootcamp today for the first time since having my baby, and the old regulars have gotten AMAZING in my absence. I decided that I will probably never be thin, but I can probably be fantastically awesome and that’s my new goal.

    • “I decided that I will probably never be thin, but I can probably be fantastically awesome and that’s my new goal”

      Just had to say that this brought tears to my eyes. What an inspiring statement. Charlotte, I love reading your comments almost as I love reading your blog.

  27. I am en route to CostCo in a few minutes…wearing sweaty gym clothes! I’m with you, lady. And your arms – and everything else – do rock in that photo.

  28. ok let me just start by saying that I am totally freakin’ in love with your outfit in the picture at the top of the post!!! Can I ask where you got it?
    As a person who has suffered from rheumatoid arthritis since I was 17 (more than 15 years) let me tell you that just to be able to get into the pose in that top photo, is TRULY beautiful to me. I would kill to be able to do that.

  29. I’m terrible with eye make-up as well. =( I used to be the girl that wore heels and well put together stuff to school everyday (which is hilarious considering everything I had was a hand-me-down), but I don’t really care as much anymore. By which I mean, I REALLY care and generally just be lazy. I almost never wear make-up now, and my hair is generally in a pony-tail since Northern CA tends to be windy and I work out a lot but only wash my hair every three days since its so thick and annoying. If it goes into a ponytail once, it has to stay there until I wash it because it gets that stupid crinkle thing in it. Oh, and sweat. If I’m going somewhere with my husband I might wear some mascara, or if its something fancy I’ll actually put something more on, but not without loads of grumbling, so I totally agree with the, ” I want to have it but I don’t want to be expected to have it and I certainly don’t want it to be the only kind of beauty I have.” Focusing on my physical beauty too much tends to get me in trouble anyway.

  30. I always tell my self that inner beauty is the most important thing, but I’ve been around long enough to know that outer beauty counts for a whole heck of a lot. I also find eyeshadow confusing and I avoid liner because I cannot draw a straight line.

    I am a big fan of tinted moisturizer because I get my moisturizer, color and sunscreen all from one product and I am a lazy gal.

    I also want your yoga outfit. Where did you get it?

  31. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve started wearing much makeup at all. And honestly, it’s just because of adult acne. If my skin is ever clear again, I will kick that stuff to the curb faster than you’d believe (at least foundation … I’ll probably stick with mascara and lipstick ’cause everyone wants to feel pretty).

  32. Charlotte, it’s so interesting (coincidental?) that you posted about this topic today – just after I read this article – http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/makeup-the-key-to-success-20111025-1mhik.html – which was in one of our largest newspapers (in Australia). Any thoughts? 🙂

  33. I am fortunate (or not) to live in an area where, when the women go out grocery shopping, they dress to the hilt. I’m talking from furs to age inappropriate clothing. The best part about this, as I roam the store, is catching some guy shaking his head at them – at the same time I’m shaking mine. Priceless. Loved, loved, loved this post. Started my day off with a smile and I will think of you everytime I see these women. Take care.

    Mo

  34. I used to work with a woman who sold Mary Kay and was always trying to recruit me into her business. I remember her telling me one day that I would never sell products to the garbage man’s wife if I let him see me without makeup. I’m not sure why that stuck with me. I’ve never been big on makeup, but most days, I won’t leave the house without eyeliner and mascara on. My lashes are practically see-through without them.
    My issue with eyeshadow is that it clings to every hair…since mine is pretty light, I can usually get away with going longer than I should between brow waxes, but when I wear eye shadow, I might as well be painting every stray hair neon pink or wearing a sign that says, “I need to wax!”

  35. I love makeup, and as you probably know having lived in Seattle I’m in the minority here– sometimes I wear less makeup then I want to because when I get to a party in full makeup and no one else has any on, I feel ridiculous. On the other hand, since most of my friends pretty much only wear foundation on their wedding days and never again, I can opt out of makeup and no one cares– I just like how I look in it, and it makes me feel good and I wear it most days (though, currently pregnant with my first child I have no illusions about keeping this up as a new mommy) As for eyeshadow, I’ve been doing the same light color on lid, darker color in crease for 15 years. I’m sure there are fancier things one can do, but I don’t know what they are! And I’m super excited that Bare Minerals came out with pressed powder eyeshadow– I stopped using their eyeshadow because the lose powder is so messy and it would end up all over my face!

  36. For me eyeshadow is about bringing attention to my features that I enjoy or I love. I love the color of my eyes and use eye shadow to draw attention to them. Often people tell me that they didn’t even know that I wear makeup but everyday I wear eyeshadow. It is sort of like framing a picture on a wall.

  37. You really are beautiful. I love days of no makeup but I never have them as i cant force myself to go out in public without it. We all have things to work on 🙂

  38. I define being beautiful as being happy with yourself.

  39. i think beauty=confidence

  40. I believe beauty is from the inside out. The most beautiful person to me is someone who has a generous and kind heart.

    amy [at] utry [dot] it

  41. Pingback:Running Naked and My First-Ever Censored Post! (Giveaway!) | The Great Fitness Experiment

  42. A lot of times, when I wear makeup during the day, by the end of the day I feel like it looks worse than it would have if I’d just skipped the makeup. So mostly I just skip makeup. I’d love to figure out something that kept looking nice, though.

  43. I think beauty is all about what is on the inside (cliche, I know). Honestly, if you feel good inside, you will project that beauty outwards. No amount of makeup can hide what you are filling inside. Thinking about beauty too much can lead to unhappiness. I always remind myself that I can apply makeup to appear more beautiful than I am, but unless i feel beautiful inside, I wont be truly beautiful.

  44. Too much makeup just looks silly to me. And there’s a fine but definite line between a cute, bright look and looking like you’ve spackled the paint on like a crazy person. But then, I don’t think anyone should be afraid of makeup either. Sometimes cherry red lips or neon purple eyes are just fun!

  45. Defining beauty is so individualistic, for example my husband thinks I have terrible taste in women and frankly I think his is rather sketchy (me being an exception of course). In my youth I was a low maintenance kind of girl for the most part but now (older, muuuuch older) I find I need a little more oooomph to feel good about myself most days.
    I even put on what my husband calls “gym makeup” which consists of mascara and tinted sun screen at a minimum. I do like bare minerals foundation and it has allowed me to strike a nice balance of covering up what I don’t want to see while not being obsessive just to get gas or groceries. The best days are the ones I can manage a simple make up routine and practice my inner beauty by listening really well or being helpful to someone.

  46. Beauty is fun and a confidence booster… a way to dress up and role play… transform. It’s putting your best foot forward for your own pleasure and gratification and confidence, and also having the confidence to let it all go and comfortably be au naturale (sunscreen only) in the backwoods hiking and backpacking.

    Eye-shadow is my favourite make-up – way easier, more flexible forgiving and versatile than eyeliner. Layer it on just a little or lots for drama, its all good!

  47. I always wear mascara and eye linger to open up my eyes,. If I’m going to a social occasion I will also wear foundation, blush, eye shadow and lipstick.

  48. A force of beauty is know u are just a beauty on the inside as the outside i think i little goes along way

  49. Don’t enter me! I just want to enter the discussion 🙂

    I recently started working at a pediatrician’s office. I LOVE LOVE our pediatrician and our patients and my job and my coworker. LOOOOOVE.

    However.

    The pediatrician’s husband, who is also a doctor, and who is also from Eastern Europe, places SO. MUCH. EMPHASIS. on my appearance. And frankly….I don’t know. It rubs me the wrong way that he cares how I wear my hair and do my makeup and stuff because that’s stuff that I try not to think about. You know? I have enough trouble judging myself for how my clothes fit and stuff…I don’t need to also think about whether or not my eyebrows are perfectly plucked or my hair looks feminine or whatever.

  50. Beauty is confidence. Nothing like the radiance of a woman who feels good about herself. So re: make-up, sometimes it’s not needed, other days we could all use a boost 🙂

  51. The definition of beauty, to me, is to smile from within! Thanks! kmassmanATgmailDOTcom

  52. I sometimes feel “too made up” if I run to our local grocery store all “make-upped”. So, I know what you mean……I sometimes run into people in their pajamas there though, so theirs a fine line between the two!

  53. You are a FORCE! I love this take on them!

  54. I gotta say, I spent my high school years with an older sister who was absolutely model-like. She mesmerized every guy that walked in front of her in 10 seconds flat. I was “the smart one…”
    ill admit — I had my days in college when I was dam cute thanks to too much partying and studying and not enough time to eat, but now that’s all changed.
    I was diagnosed with BiPolar last fall and am on FIVE medications that have made me put on 50 pounds. Now I look at her (and she’s actually at an UNHEALTHY place right now — too skinny, ya know?) and wish I had that beauty. And she talks to me and wishes she had my brain and my education and my writing skills, etc.
    So who wins?? Im still searching for the answer. We ALL always want what we don’t or can’t have.

    As far as Bare Minerals…? OMG, put me in that store and I’m at $350 on the credit card in 15 miinutes. They are the best; they’re line of facial care rocks and the eye shadow color palette is unbelievable. Plus, it just doesn’t clay up or clog my pores like other make-up. Ive been dedicated to BM for the last two years!!

    Great article btw 🙂

    Jaime

  55. Love it wear it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  56. I try to be my best when I go out in public. I like to feel that with some make up I have some self confidence that might not have been there before.

  57. I think the balance between caring too much and too little has to do with handling or covering your flaws and accentuating your strengths, not trying to change how you look or who you are. So showering, doing SOMETHING with your hair (even if something just means washing it and putting it up in an intentional way), and putting on makeup if you need it is a good place to find that balance. I exist in jeans and t-shirts, partly because I have to change into a uniform and stuff my hair into a hairnet as soon as I get to work, and partly because I just can’t stand to spend time, effort or money on lots of nice clothes. I have terrible skin so I wear foundation and powder any time I leave the house, and mascara and lip gloss are generally musts for me as well.

  58. To me beauty is confidence and simplicity. I think the balance is to primp a little but not to overdo and focus on inner beauty as well 🙂

  59. Hey, crepe-y eyelids have nothing to do with age. I know lots of women who had crepe-y eyelids when they were 19 and 20. I only commented on it because it’s a bit tricky to get eyeshadow correct when the skin is so soft and I didn’t want to screw it up and make you look like a hot mess. 🙂

  60. Start with a clean slate and a good haircut can enhance your look. with or without makeup. I like whatever makes my eyes sparkle and a smile will carry you far.

  61. Pingback:The 3 Things I Wanted To Change About Myself As a Child [Fun & Fit radio interview] | The Great Fitness Experiment

  62. I wish I had a buddy who would whisper into my ear about my makeup choices over the years. I have tried a lot due to fair pasty skin, with blond than blond eyebrows and eyelashes. I look like Casper and always have tried to counteract that! I just need to embrace my pasty skin 🙂

  63. I love Bare Escentuals products. I love that they are natural and don’t harm my skin. My definition of beauty is simplicity. Too much makeup or product looks strange on anyone. The best look is the one you naturally have.

  64. BALANCE CAN BE ATTAINED BY MEDITATION. I’M STILL WORKING ON IT MYSELF =)

  65. I try to embrace all my features….those that I appreciate and even those that are not ideal. I use my makeup to enhance my beauty….not cover it up, and always remember the old cliche that beauty truly comes from within.

  66. I define beauty as being comfortable with yourself. When I feel confident, I feel beautiful.