I wish this were me but unfortunately I couldn’t find any pics of my gold statue costume, despite looking through every single picture I took in college. (It didn’t take long. I lived in the days before digital cameras and when you’re using film that takes a week to get developed, well, I have about 50 pictures total. Which is what most people take in one night and post on Facebook now. Wow I feel old.)
Being a gold statue for Halloween was awesome for several reasons: 1) I got to borrow my roommate’s real-feeling fake boobies and nothing bonds friends faster than a C cup that looks like an obscene Jell-O mold in your hand; 2) I had the cutest gold vintage dress ever; and 3) nobody knew who I was. It was reason #3 that makes that costume epic in my mind. See at that point in my college career I was majoring in crazy hair dye colors (cheetah orange was probably the worst), a whole lot of black emo-ish clothing and a crap ton of black eyeliner, so putting on a gold blond wig, fake boobs, and gold leopard print heels – and literally painting my skin gold (I don’t recommend it, it did not come off well) – was as out of my box as I could get. I remember passing my cute coworker with whom I worked every single day and having him not recognize me even after I said “hi.” So what if I looked like a woman impersonating a man impersonating a woman (is that a drag-drag queen?) and I was forced to hold perfectly still for inordinate amounts of time for people to “get” my costume? I wasn’t me for a night and that’s all I wanted.
These days I have not the time nor the money (how is it I was so much richer in college when I got paid $3.33 an hour plus tips?) to be that creative. At yet despite all my Halloween-hating, I will take any reason to dress up and run with it. I’m still working on this year’s costume though (and I promise I’ll get pics!). So when Shape.com asked me to do a slideshow on the best fitness inspired Halloween costumes I was all over it like body glitter on fake cleavage.
Here’s my personal fave from my slideshow:
Chuck Norris …is so tough that every October he makes the rest of the world dress up in silly costumes, just for his entertainment! (Sorry, I had to try!) Denim, denim, and more denim is your ticket to being the toughest guy in the universe (for one night). Rip the sleeves off a denim shirt, tuck the shirt into your jeans, and top it with a jean jacket. Add a double holster and boots and no one will ever mess with you again.
While you’re there, check out my (funny!) slideshow for Shape’s 30th anniversary: Popular Fitness Equipment, Then and Now
Also for their 30th anniversary issue is my article on how “Fitness” has changed over the past 3 decades. (Shout-outs to Suzane Somers’ thigh master, Tamilee Webb’s be-thonged buns of steel and my own childhood pogo ball!)
In case I made you laugh too much, you can read my essay for Redbook on how my Internet mommy friends got me through my miscarriages.
And please, help me figure out what to do with the information that a registered sex offender has moved into my neighborhood!
What is your favorite Halloween costume of all time?? Why did you love it?