Comparing My Weakness to Your Strength [Plus: How I Inadvertently Insulted Tony Horton]

by Charlotte on September 29, 2011 · 64 comments

 

“Oh yeah, I gave up sweets 3 months ago and I’ve never felt better! It’s pretty easy if you just put your mind to it. I just told myself I was done and once I make a decision I stick with it. Now cookie dough doesn’t even look appealing to me anymore.” I considered replying to my svelte friend that it doesn’t work that way for me, that telling myself I’m never eating something again throws my mind into rebellion mode faster than you can say “Ben & Jerry’s actually has a new flavor named Schweddy Balls?!” – but I was too busy thinking about how awesome cookie dough sounded and then starting a shame spiral because she could go her whole life without ever having it again and I wanted it just from hearing someone say the word. In speaking with a friend I love, I made myself less than.

“I knew it was crazy signing up for this half marathon without training first but I figured I could pull it off and I finished under 2 hours!!” As I read my blog-friend’s amazing race report, I massaged my shins that were so sore I had to walk up stairs backwards so I didn’t limp because I’d run 2 miles that morning without warming up. “How can she run 13 miles without even training and beat my best time when I can’t even do an easy run without prepping for days?” I moaned. In reading a blog I love, I made myself less than.

“Oh the wainscoting was just a little finishing touch I threw on at the last minute to really give this room that special ‘je ne se quois’, you know?” As I admired my friend’s perfectly appointed living room with just the right amount of flair and homeyness balanced with little pops of color exactly how all the style magazines say you should but without looking like it was ripped from a magazine, I stewed over the fact that I have wanted for years to do something similar in my home and not only did she do it in two days but hers looked a million times better than anything I could have done and she described it in French! The only other language I speak when it comes to home improvement is %&#*-ese. In visiting a home I love, I made myself less than.

For being such a small word less is such an immense feeling.

A few days ago I got the chance to interview Tony Horton, founder of P90X and late-night infomercial Greek god, for Shape magazine’s site. As you may recall I loved P90X – it is in my top 10 of most effective workouts I’ve ever tried for an Experiment – and I am a total fangirl. So what was the first thing out of my mouth after he said hello? “Ohmygoodness I looove you! I’ve done P90X and Insanity and they are amazing!” You guys: Tony Horton did not invent Insanity. What kind of professional does that? I might as well have asked him if he had a Shamwow I could borrow. I melted into a puddle of embarrassment when he answered, “Well I would have done 2 cycles of P90X and skipped the Insanity but that’s just me.”

(When I recounted this episode to the Gym Buddies, Krista said, “How on earth could you confuse Tony Horton with the Insanity guy (Shaun T)?!” I pouted,”It’s an honest mistake, the programs are very similar.” She exclaimed, “They’re two different colors!” My confusion must have shown because she just shook her head and sighed, “How did you watch all those hours of video and not notice that Tony Horton’s a white guy and the Insanity dude is a black guy?”)

Despite the inauspicious beginning to the interview, it went really well. He is as funny in real life as he is on his videos and I had a great time peppering him with questions. First question I asked him was, “What is up with the corn-cob pull-ups?!? Can anyone actually do those?” He answered, “It’s supposed to be hard. It’s a challenge. P90X and P90X 2 are designed to force you to work on your weaknesses. If it’s easy then it’s not working.” True for fitness, yes, but true for life also. Tony Horton gave me an Oprah moment. A-ha XTREME!

As illustrated above, I have a terrible habit of comparing my weaknesses to everyone else’s strengths. (Weirdly it never works the other way – apparently I’m much kinder to other people than I am to myself.) The obvious problem is that I make myself feel bad. But the real problem is that when I waste time doing this I can’t enjoy the beauty of the incredible things that all of you do and do so well. The real problem is that when I’m so busy being jealous of you that I can’t learn from you. The real problem is that when I’m focusing on your strengths, I’m not working on my own weaknesses. And then I cry and wonder why I never get better at parenting or race running or, heaven help me, wainscoting. I miss out on so much of life when I make myself less than. And it is something I do to myself.

So how do I change the equation from me<you to me+you=something amazing? I think it starts with being consciously grateful for what I have – both materially and spiritually. I think it starts with looking for the good in others, all others. I think it starts with not bad-mouthing others because we’re both on the same side of the equation and if I take you down, then we all go down. And down is only fun at amusement parks. But I don’t know where this ends. Help me?

Do you compare your weaknesses to others’ strengths? How do you combat this mentality? Anyone else confuse P90X and Insanity?!?

P.S. You can check out the first in my series of 3 articles about Tony, P90X and the science behind it on Shape.com today!

 

{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }

hannahmarie September 29, 2011 at 1:19 am

I do the exact same thing and have to constantly remind myself that I can’t be EVERYTHING. I simultaneously wish I were sweeter, tougher, thinner, curvier, a better student, and more involved in social activities. The hardest thing is to realize all the positive attributes I already have.

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Sylvia September 29, 2011 at 2:48 am

I constantly do this! I’m always comparing myself to others and coming up short. You make amazing points though. The time we waste worried about our less than abilities we aren’t able to enjoy anything else. I have no idea how to make this way of thinking any better than through working on ourselves over time. I’m guessing it’s like anything else. It’s hard and takes time, but eventually worth it.

I own P90X and honestly, until you pointed out he didn’t create insanity I hadn’t really realized it myself. Oops!

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Crazylady September 29, 2011 at 3:47 am

I so need help with this too. :( If you find any answers please let us know. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to change. I’ve been trying for years. Negative I know but honest. Sorry.

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:19 am

((hugs)) – You’re not alone in this:) And I’m optimistic that we can both get better at this – maybe not perfect, but better!

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Cort The Sport September 29, 2011 at 4:56 am

Guilty! Aren’t we all? I think it takes remembering that behind every perfect race, every perfectly decorated room, everyone has things they feel inadequate about. Sometimes those who seem most perfect overtly have the most strife covertly.

I try to innoculate myself with balance – family, work, friends, training, racing, So yeah, my kids might not each have an incredible scrapbook for each year they’ve been on the planet, and my walls just plain need a new coat of paint, but I love my job (usually), am blessed to train, and to race.

So Ms. Charlotte, know that many of would LOVE to have the gifts you have for seeing life honestly and with humor and then have the added gifts to translate it to the perfectly composed words and stories!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:20 am

I love this idea: “I try to innoculate myself with balance” I’m totally going to add this one to my list (and yeah, I wrote a list for this… I have little lists all over my house). And thank you for the sweet compliment – that really means a lot to me!

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reid September 29, 2011 at 5:53 am

Your post is such a good reminder of one of the things I need to work on most of all. ..Treating myself as well as I treat the rest of the world! I think when we let our guard done, get distracted, or tired we tend to revert to those insecure self deprecating mantras.

I have been so frustrated these past couple months because I have not been able to do the workouts I used to do. (I have a progressive nerve disease and it is progressing.) I see the 50 year old man jogging past me up the hill and I get negative- and it doesn’t do me any good.

You know- confusing the P90X guy and the Insanity guy shows something very positive… You’re not looking at the guys’ race and you’re interested enough in the workouts that the trainer is not the focus. (To tell you the truth I thought they were the same too..).
So cool that you interviewed him! :D

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:23 am

I’m so sorry to hear about your progressive nerve disease. I commend you for keeping up with your fitness though when it sounds like you have more barriers to overcome than most of us! And this: ” I think when we let our guard done, get distracted, or tired we tend to revert to those insecure self deprecating mantras.” is such a good point. I forget that negative thinking like this can be very situational.

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katspeakz September 29, 2011 at 6:28 am

They are made by the same company at least. :) I used to be big into the beach body stuff. One of my best friends was on one of the infomercials and got to go to Hawaii. That was before I had kids and before the nursery workers at my gym became near and dear to my heart.

I *mostly* don’t compare myself negatively to others. I thank my sisters for this. As a middle child with smart, funny, wonderful sisters who were constantly asked if they modeled, I embraced the idea early on that their triumphs had nothing to do with me. My sister being valedictorian didn’t make me dumb; it meant that she had worked very hard to achieve her goal. And the good things I do don’t make them less.

I try to instill this in my babies. You always try to do your best and what other people do doesn’t effect that. And when people have success be genuinely happy for them. Likewise, be there for them when they fail.

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katspeakz September 29, 2011 at 6:32 am

Apparently it’s too early in the morning for grammar. :)

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:25 am

I thought your remarks were beautifully thought out and very well expressed! I love your view of your sisters and the way you are raising your kids:)

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Naomi/Dragonmamma September 29, 2011 at 6:37 am

I’m neither overly positive or negative with myself. I strive for realistic, along with a bit more effort and enthusiasm than the average person is willing to put out.

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Naomi/Dragonmamma September 29, 2011 at 6:38 am

By the way, I love that photo up above with the tear-off words. I want to make some of those and bring them to work!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:26 am

I love that idea! Let me know if you try it! And this: “along with a bit more effort and enthusiasm than the average person is willing to put out.” is why I love you!

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redhead September 29, 2011 at 6:50 am

Well, for starters, you write very well – both in terms of style and technical function. And that’s far from a given these days, even for adults who are in or have graduated from college (just look at facebook – how can people go through 17+ years of school and not learn the difference between “your” and “you’re?”)

Then there’s the fact that you CAN do P90x – which many of my male friends who like to think of themselves as being in shape simply can’t do. I’m envious of your biceps, and what you can do with them.

There’s this – “apparently I’m much kinder to other people than I am to myself” – you’re much kinder to other people in general than many people are. (I say that like I know you and not someone who just randomly reads your blog…) But you come across as a truly nice person. And you didn’t even touch on the fact that you watched these fitness videos with people I’m not familiar with leading them and didn’t notice that one’s white and one’s black – maybe it’s because I live in the south, but you also can’t take for granted that people aren’t racist bigots. You seem pretty far from one, whether it’s race or religion or what have you, and pretty open to letting people be themselves even when it’s different from what you are or what you chose. And THAT right there is a huge thing for many people – being open to others’ differences.

Oh and then there’s the whole mom to 9328475938745938475894345 children part. :) Being able to keep your sanity around that many kids is NOT something many people could pull off – AND you keep the kids fed and the house clean! That requires a ton of patience and I-don’t-even-know-what-but-I-know-most-people-don’t-have-it.

I don’t even know you and I can tell those things about you. So, there’s a few strengths that are just different from your friends’ strengths – and I bet your friends envy some of your strengths, they just don’t say it or dwell on it (wow, that sounded after-school-specialy, but you get my point!)

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:30 am

So this is kinda of embarrassing but I’m totally crying right now! Yu have no idea how much this means to me, especially today. My instinct is to say “oh no, I’m not really all those things, if you saw me in real life…” but instead I’m just going to tell you thank you again. Thank you thank you thank you.

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redhead September 29, 2011 at 9:48 pm

I’m so glad, because a lot of what you’ve written in the past has done that for me, writing things in your posts that I just needed to hear. So thank you, too! And I don’t know you, true – but if nothing else, you have how many kids who are happy, clean, fed and well adjusted and SERIOUSLY that is hard to do. (And that, and your openness – whether it’s not noticing that the trainers are two different races or embracing friends of completely different religions while seeming to hardly even notice that they’re a different religion, much less judge them – are frankly more important strengths than being able to make a room look pretty.)

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JavaChick September 29, 2011 at 7:22 am

I do the same thing. Great posts and great comments here already – now I will have something to think about for the day. :)

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Kelly September 29, 2011 at 7:28 am

I’ve been finding as I get older I compare myself less with other people – mostly because I know more awesome people and I’ve realized that knowing awesome people makes my life awesome NOT makes me less awesome because they’re more awesome. That may not make grammatical sense but it’s early out here on the West coast.

And I cannot WAIT for P90x2. We have done a full cycle of P90x and we still use it for a good strength or interval training workout – LOVED it both me and the hubby. We have P90x2 on preorder and are VERY excited about it!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:33 am

It makes perfect sense:) And I love it. Yeah, I’m super excited about P90X 2 as well. You’ll have to let me know what you think after you get it!! (In December…!)

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Katie September 29, 2011 at 7:33 am

I don’t know who I’d want to interview more – Tony or Shaun T. But please tell me he said some lame jokes about his dad and throwing no-hitters. That shit cracks me up every time. Unless I’m crabby at the end of the Plyo workout. Then it makes me want to punch him through the screen. Ooooh, did you ask him about his obvious crush on Dreya, the girl-wonder?

I should just read your interview.

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:35 am

Hahah – I WANTED SO BAD to ask him about Dreya. But I didn’t. And yes, he did make a few corny jokes. It was awesome.

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Dr. J September 29, 2011 at 7:51 am

Oh he invented insanity, he just didn’t invent, “Insanity” :-)

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:38 am

ROFL

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Sable@SquatLikeALady September 29, 2011 at 7:59 am

I do this ALLLLLL the time too. All the time. I think it’s so important to keep in mind that what we see, even of our friends, is just the surface — we don’t know the whole story and we certainly aren’t seeking out their flaws as zealously as we are seeking out our own.

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Sinner Ella aka Heather September 29, 2011 at 8:13 am

Thank you, Charlotte. I appreciate your candid honesty here and have to admit that I am also guilty of comparing myself to others. I’m extremely competitive by nature, but sometimes this places a road block the size of Australia in front of me and it’s hard to realize until I try to get past it.
I think that we all should work on praising ourselves for our strengths AND our weaknesses. We need to be proud of being able to recognize our weaknesses and work towards making them stronger. I think we all should also try to stop comparing our selves to others and compete against ourselves, because when you’ve accomplished a new person.al record since it gives us more to be proud of personally.
P.S. I want P90X sooooio bad,but can’t afford it or justify the expense. Personal enrichment, or not. LOL

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:41 am

First – great point about competitiveness influencing this as I’m a super competitive person too. I’ve never connected the two before…

Second – P90X is SO expensive but have you checked your library? Ours has several copies you can check out (obv. not for 90 days but you could try it out). Also, people are selling second-hand copies on craiglist etc for way cheaper.

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Quix September 29, 2011 at 8:15 am

I used to try to do/be good at everything, and ya know, “jack of all trades, master at none” really rings true. No one is good at everything, let alone great or spectacular. I decided that I’d rather try to be spectacular at a few things then be trying to be good at everything. It all takes time and effort and mindshare and we all only have a finite amount. And sleep is important. And so is family. And so is just relaxing and having fun.

I am one of those annoying people that could never touch cookie dough again. However, I would LOVE a refill of the olive oil fries I had yesterday, please and thank you! :)

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:45 am

Great point about the jack of all trades… idiom. See another point I hadn’t considered! I’m kind of the opposite of you in that I prefer to try a lot of things knowing that I won’t be a master of any of them (esp. in fitness, holla!) but then it doesn’t make any sense to compare does it?

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Man Bicep September 29, 2011 at 8:52 am

I lift everyday with a female friend and we are super competitive. We both want to lift the most. Which can be good, but it can also make things hard. Sometimes I get frustrated if she lifts more than me (I’m ashamed to admit!) But I have to remind myself that there are going to be things that she does better than me and that I do better than her. I can’t compare my strengths and weaknesses to hers because we are both so different.

Not to sound cheesy but each of us is wonderful at something and we need to focus on that and feel proud of our friends when they succeed. I like to think that being associated with strong successful people makes me look even better! ;-)

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the Bag Lady September 29, 2011 at 9:05 am

It’s human nature, Charlotte. We all compare ourselves to others – it’s motivation for some of us, although I agree that, if we let it, it drags us down into negativity.
At my advanced age, I am starting to learn that if I focus more on my strengths and stop worrying about what other people do, I am much happier. (Although I admit, I still wish I had a different body type than the one I’m stuck with. Sigh.)

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:48 am

I love that you said that you get better about handling this type of thinking as you get older. I’m really hoping I gain that kind of maturity as well.

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Anne September 29, 2011 at 9:07 am

How do I combat the mentality? I remind myself that life is not a competition, nor is it a zero-sum game. I also remember that there are billions of people on the planet, so statistically speaking, even if I am pretty good at some activity, millions upon millions of people will be at it than I am. And honestly, I’m OK with this. All I want to “win” at is “the happiest life for myself and my loved ones”, and I’m the only horse in that race.

And then I acknowledge that if someone’s given up cookie dough, there then exists more within the universe for me :-)

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:51 am

This made me smile: “All I want to “win” at is “the happiest life for myself and my loved ones”, and I’m the only horse in that race.” GREAT point.

And this made me laugh.so.hard: “And then I acknowledge that if someone’s given up cookie dough, there then exists more within the universe for me”

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Laura September 29, 2011 at 9:34 am

I do compare my weaknesses to others’ strengths, but in a complete twist, I consider that a GOOD THING. I am never happy unless I have something challenging me, something forcing me to improve myself. It invigorates me to have something to work on (as long as I know it’s something I CAN work on and not just an innate flaw I can’t change, but there are very few things that are totally outside your control). That was actually how I started running – because I thought it would be awesome to go from the slowest kid in my high school class when we did the mile, to a world record holder in marathon running. Conquering your weaknesses just makes you feel SO on top of the world, and I love it!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:53 am

You are a world record holder in marathon running?! How did I not know this? I need to interview YOU! And I think you make an important distinction in there’s a difference between looking at the good others do and feeling like you never measure up and looking at the good others do and using it to inspire yourself to do better.

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Sara September 29, 2011 at 9:43 am

If it makes you feel any better, I thought Tony Horton was the guy who has that midwestern chain of breakfast places…

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:54 am

Buwhahahha! Awesome.

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Geosomin September 29, 2011 at 10:12 am

I keep comparing myself to people who are just not built the same as me – I have to remind myself that without a small saw and surgical scissors, there are simply some ways I cannot make my body look. Period.
I haven’t tried P90X altho I’ve wanted to…it’s on my list of things. Right onw regular workouts and keeping my head from exploding from work and school is keeping me busy enough :)

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Alyssa September 29, 2011 at 11:26 am

Yup, I do the same. I try to remember that no one’s life is as perfect as it may appear to be. I had a friend in college who was popular, had a great social life, a perfect body, and all her teachers loved her. She’d also lived through her parents’ VERY nasty divorce, was constantly and unfavorably compared with her older siblings, and was basically severely depressed and a borderline alcoholic. (Thankfully she’s doing MUCH better now!)
I mean, heck, even Martha Stewart, who does everything perfectly, went to prison!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 11:56 am

“I mean, heck, even Martha Stewart, who does everything perfectly, went to prison!” You crack me up Alyssa! TRUE!

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Kat September 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm

My decision to rejoin the world (online and real life) came at a good time… (Although I did get a bit distracted by Schweddy Balls… despite being older than 5) I say this, because I totally get this and can possibly (over)relate to that cartoon.

We see people that do things professionally or have a strong background in those tasks and compare ourselves.. unfairly. Instead of giving ourselves compassion we choose to be unkind.

I was at DBT last night and we hit on this phenomenon…. How sometimes, for good perspective, it’s good to ask yourself if you would say the same thing about someone else in your position. Would you tell someone else that had never decorated a cake before that they were a failure for their Elmo interpretation looked monster/gooey because the girl next to them who has taken decorating classes’s Elmo looked more furry and fun… ?

If someone else had to go back into a really harmful environment for a day would you think they were a baby for allowing it to upset them?

We’re all permanently stuck with ourselves, so we need to make the best of it and realize that our best at that moment is *our* best and that’s what matters. Or so they said during DBT ;) But seriously, it did make sense to me.

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 9:28 pm

This: ” for good perspective, it’s good to ask yourself if you would say the same thing about someone else in your position.” is a great suggestion! Added it to my list! Thank you:) And I’m so glad you had such a productive DBT session!

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Erin September 29, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I bow before you mistress of fitness. You are awesome, since the first time I tried P90X 9 months ago I fell in love with Tony Horton’s personality. Which I found odd because I normally don’t like people who have huge egos. But what I think makes me Love him is that he knows he has one and openly admits it. Plus there’s nothing better than struggling through an exercise than starting to crack up at one of Tony’s silly jokes! He makes the workouts so worth doing! He’s one of the reasons that I am still sane from staying at my in laws for 9 months!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 9:31 pm

” I normally don’t like people who have huge egos.” Oh this cracked me up! And yes, totally agree on all points!

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Jody - Fit at 53 September 29, 2011 at 4:22 pm

I resemble this post! ;-) I have got a lot better though so I am sticking to that positive side of it even though I still do this!

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Beth September 29, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I always want to call Tony Horton, Tim Horton. So at least you didn’t tell him that you love his coffee and donuts :)

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Sable September 29, 2011 at 6:33 pm

*Sigh* I’m so terrible about this, especially lately. I’m turning 22 next week and I find myself constantly making myself “less than” the people I graduated high school with. They are all in the military, at work, in their 3rd or 4th year of college, etc, while I’m… in an outpatient hospitalization program to try to stabilize my Bipolar Disorder and PTSD. And you know what? I’m not less than. I’m working really darn hard. I’m an awesome, intelligent, caring, athletic person with the best husband/relationship of anyone I know. Also, I’m a Freecell Champ! (Hurray for obscure talents?) Our successes aren’t measured by that of everyone else, because everyone has their own challenges and talents. And really, what kind of people would we be if we excelled at everything and had to endure nothing?

P.S. One of the favorite things my therapist says is “Thank God we have no sense of self as toddlers, or we’d never learn to walk. We’d try once and fail and give up forever.”

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 9:33 pm

You’re only 22?! Holy crap, I had no idea you were so young! I didn’t learn what you already know until like… oh 10 years later (so now apparently). You’re doing awesome. And this “what kind of people would we be if we excelled at everything and had to endure nothing?” is an excellent question.

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Amanda September 29, 2011 at 7:26 pm

I’m really bad with the “less than” thing too. I finally managed to run a whole quarter mile without stopping, and while I know this is HUGE for me (it is!) part of me keeps nagging, “Yeah, but look at these folks who can knock out a 5K every day… and you ran an entire quarter mile? Suuuure… that’s impressive… not.”

Which is stupid. Because I did a good, big thing in my world and I should just be proud of it without any qualifiers, dangit!

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Charlotte September 29, 2011 at 9:34 pm

You SHOULD be proud! Congrats on the 1/4 mile! No qualifiers allowed:)

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Heather September 30, 2011 at 8:00 am

Thank you so much for articulating exactly what I have been feeling for years. I have changed my life completely, going from couch potato to 3 spin classes week, weight training 2x week and becoming vegan and I still demand more from myself. So, I joined a running club and now I have cut my spin classes to 2x a week, so I can run 3x a week and still include strength training in between. However, I haven’t lost the last 5 to 10 lbs I’d like to lose and I still can’t fit into the size of clothes I want to. Some days I am so grateful for my fitness abilities and my healthy eating habits and then other days I am obsessed with the scale and the size of my clothes. I wish I could just keep the proud every day instead of repeating the less than mantra. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in this challenge!

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Nicole September 30, 2011 at 9:27 am

I saw someone doing those corn cob pullups at the gym the other day! Only I didn’t know what they were.

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Deb Brown September 30, 2011 at 9:33 am

Comparing my weaknesses to others’ strengths has been a challenge for me as well. I borrowed the mantra, “I don’t compete. I don’t compare. I just am.” from entrepreneur leader Ali Brown.

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Catrina September 30, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Can I just tell you, how much I love you?? No, really, can I?!?
Seriously, you are one of the best writers I have come across in a very long time. Many times, I have walked away after reading one of your posts and thought to myself- I have never read anything so fluid, funny and intelligent! I don’t say this lightly either, most people would give their left arm to have your gift and that’s because their stuff is bunk! I hope you know what an awesome gift you have.
So my whole point of getting on here was to tell you that this post was exactly what I needed at this very moment. I am typically very confident in my abilities and who I am as a person, but the last two days I’ve come down with an unexpected case of “compare-me-to-her-itis” and it stinketh. Maybe Aunt Flo came to town and didn’t tell me or maybe I’m tired-er than typical but your post brought tears to my eyes.. it was a “grab-me-by-the-collar” moment that I needed to bring me back to reality. –>This is stupid. I am valued, I am loved, I have purpose. I have wonderful gifts of my own.
So! Thank you! Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities with us and being so transparent.
Did I tell you that you’re awesome and I love you?
ok, just making sure. :-)

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Charlotte October 2, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Aw I love you too!!! Seriously this made my whole night – thank you so very much for the kind words! (P.S. I get “compare-me-to-her-itis” with Aunt Flo too lol! Maybe our cycles synched up over the internet….)

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Alisha October 2, 2011 at 8:14 pm

I posted this before I read your this post (but not before you published it). :D

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Sue Kauffman October 22, 2011 at 10:43 am

I always wonder if this trait (in women) is mostly nature or mostly nuture. I’ve been teaching public school for many years and girls are busy making themselves “less than” and putting themselves down, while the boys are all about telling everyone how great they are. At least on the outside, the boys seem to have the self-esteem thing locked up. My nephews don’t have an insecure bone in their body. A few weeks ago, they got fined for riding unlicenced dirt bikes on the highway. This was merely a blip on the screen to them, a lesson learned the hard way. Something like this would have put my daughter into a tailspin that would have lasted the better part of a year! Your thoughts?

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Charlotte October 24, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Excellent point Sue! I think this is definitely an instance of how we socialize girls differently than boys. Although I think we have an issue with both genders in conflating self-confidence with narcissism. And kudos to you for being a public school teacher!! I have a special love for teachers:)

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Natalie Kita October 22, 2011 at 11:17 am

This is honestly one of the best blogs I’ve ever read, especially that 2nd-to-last paragraph. Your strengths = great writing and great insight into the human mind/spirit…and the ability and fortitude to complete P90X in the first place. That stuff ain’t for sissies! Yay for you!!!!

As for confusing INSANITY with P90X, that one has me scratching my head. I love love LOVED P90X (cuz I heart strength training and loathe most cardio) and hate hate HATED INSANITY for the same reasons. Tony Horton and Shaun T are both sexy hunks of man….but Tony is funnier, Shaun is hotter; Tony is white, Shaun is black….I’m pretty sure Tony is straight….and Shaun, well, probably not so much. (Watch “Hip Hop Abs”, and you’ll understand.)

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Charlotte October 24, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Buwhahahahha- oh I am giggling so much right now. It never occurred to me to factor sexuality into the equation and you’re probably right. Yeah, I’m still embarrassed. For the record, I didn’t actually confuse the two but I did think they were made by the same person (in retrospect I think it is because Insanity is so similar to the plyo workout from P90X and both of them kind of yell a lot). As for Hip Hop Abs, I have never tried that one. I know, right?!

And thank you so much for your kind compliments – you made my night!

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