I had a lovely informative post set for tonight about how about how our sleep patterns affect our hunger cycles (scintillating!) but I had to drop everything when this happened:
Yes, these are MANTIES. (Panties for men in case you didn’t catch that. It’s late, I’m tired. And also hungry… if only I knew if there was a connection!)
Gym Buddies Jeni, Megan and I came across them in the gym parking lot this evening after finishing up a sweat-soaked TurboKick class and my presentation/book signing afterwards. Since only a handful of people showed up to my book event – which didn’t bother me in the least since it was 8 times as many as showed up to my last two book signings combined (Holla TurboJennie, Katie, Michelle, Becky, Melissa, Jeni, Megan, Kim, Other Megan and Mike Who Bought Two Copies Of My Book!!) – and they’re all people who not only know my bra size and shoe brand but pretty much every Gym Adventure I’ve had, I decided to forgo the presentation and just do what we do best: discuss gym- inappropriate subjects! What was the topic of the night? Undies, of course!
How did these get here? How did the owner not notice they were missing? Should we take these in to the lost and found? With tongs?? So many questions.
It all started when Jeni asked me to tell the story about how I split my pants in boot camp. Short version: I was being a show-off and snapped myself reaaalllly hard across the butt with my rope. My tight Lycra pants ripped like nylons. It was bad enough that my favorite capris now had a quarter-sized hole and I had a red, stingy welt that would remind me not to show off every time I sat down but, as I explained to my little group, “I wasn’t wearing underwear.”
“Wait, WHAT?!” Jeni gasped. “Who doesn’t wear underwear when they’re working out??”
“Well of course I wear them when I have on looser pants or shorts but some bottoms are made to be worn without underwear,” I backpedaled. “You know they have that sewn-in crotch thingy? A gusset?”
“Yeah and so do nylons and I wouldn’t wear those without underwear either!”
It was at this point I started looking to all the other girls for support.
“I always wear underwear,” Gym Buddy Megan shrugged.
“Unless you’re wearing the running shorts with the mesh undies!” What? I’ve run with that girl plenty of times.
“I’d wear underwear under those too!” Jeni exclaimed.
“That’s like wearing two pairs of underwear at the same time…” I started.
“I’m wearing two pairs right now!” she finished. “I need my support!” Her face lit up, “Although, that would explain why when I look around the room in Turbo I don’t ever see panty lines!”
“They could be wearing thongs,” Megan pointed out. At which point I’ll stop writing verbatim what we said as we then launched into a very detailed discussion of whether or not thongs are comfortable and/or hygienic. At the end of the conversation it was suggested that I, naturally, ask my readers to weigh in on The Great Underwear Debate. I took it as a sign that it was meant to be when we walked outside and came across the manties. Obviously someone was wearing underwear at the gym… until they weren’t.
Please please take my poll and let me know how you feel about workout underwear! I’m hoping you prove me right (or perhaps you’ll teach me that I’ve been wrong all along about the purpose of those sewn-in crotch thingies.) And don’t worry, we’ll return to less frivolous subjects tomorrow! (Unless I come across something else disgusting in the parking lot and force my friends to sit by it so I can take their picture.)