In a world where losing weight is an extreme sport and the risks of failing include being socially ostracized or dying, a diet where you give yourself daily injections of a hormone culled from the blood of pregnant women can seem pretty reasonable (ancient altar and stone knife, platinum subscription only). But only if it …
Read more “The HCG Diet: Fad or Miracle? [Plus breast milk ice cream!]”
Now that’s a problematic bikini line! Repeat after me: I will not take medical advice from celebrities whose claim to fame is a Playboy spread. I’m not saying Jenny McCarthy isn’t funny, talented and gorgeous but the only medical tips I’m taking from her here on out are those regarding my bikini line. (Side note: …
Read more “Mini-Experiment: Progesterone Cream [Learn from my mistakes!]”
This is also a very important anniversary that Hallmark does not have a card for. September 11, 2001. Every year I can feel the vibrations of this anniversary for weeks before it approaches. When it finally arrives, it is almost a relief to cry a little and move on. No I didn’t lose a loved …
Okay, this would definitely be taking it too far. Definitely maybe. Aw heck, I’d totally do this if I could fit in my fridge (and not suffocate). File this one under I can’t believe I’m giving this guy more press: Rush Limbaugh announced on his eponymous talk show yesterday that Michelle Obama is a hypocrite …
Read more “How Far Does a Parent’s Example Go When It Comes to Food? [Michelle Obama is not fat!]”
Item the first: Ashton Kutcher has amazing muscles, as evidenced by his latest spread in Men’s Fitness. (I’ll wait while you ogle.) Item the second: Ashton Kutcher has amazing muscles because he is a paranoid crazy… who makes a little too much sense to be entirely written off as a paranoid crazy. Oddly neither of …
Read more “Ashton Kutcher’s Apocalypse Workout [Ab-tastic Anarchy!]”
The hard, cold tile played cruel counterpoint to the soft heat of my cheek pressed against it. I tried to look up at my husband crouching protectively over me but I was too weak to even lift my head. Instead I shook violently and sobbed in pain as he hovered, unsure. “Do you want to …
Read more “PANIC! What a panic attack feels like from the inside.”
Exercise is often touted as the antidote to everything from depression to insomnia. “Take a brisk 10-minute walk on your lunch break and power through that glass ceiling!” magazines often advise (note to mags: What does one do about the sweat on one’s power suit? Because I’m not changing into my running tights and Nikes …
Read more “Are Your Workouts to Blame For Your Midday Crash? [Sleep Creep]”
Behold, my first book signing where nobody yelled at me! 7 p.m. Start time! Only problem is there is exactly one person here. Me. And a whole sea of sad empty chairs arranged around a podium with a microphone. Let me tell you there is no sadder sight than a microphone switched to “on” and …
Read more “How to Go From Blog to Book [Plus: my book signing]”
Anyone curious as to what happens to the male anatomy when running in sub-zero temps? Sorry, can’t help you. How about what to do if an adorably squishy-wishy koala bear wanders into your back yard? Again, I have no idea. Even things that you’d think I’d know something about, like CPR – I am actually …
Read more “Binge Eating Disorder: What it is, what it isn’t and how to get help”
People disappoint you. Friends aren’t there when you need them. Family members don’t call. Kids booby trap your toilet with Legos, hide the plunger and then cry so hard over their drowned Jedi cruiser that you fish it out with, yes, your hand. I’m not saying this to guilt trip anyone (okay, maybe my kids… …
Read more “Choosing Happiness: What to do when Facebook depresses you”
