We’ve all seen Photoshop used to slim down “fat” people (read: everyone not emaciated), hid pimples, smooth aged skin and even to plump up sickly thin people but the Saudi Arabian censors have taken computer image enhancement to a whole new level: They used it to de-sluttify Mariah Carey. Somebody nominate them for the Nobel, pronto.
Confession: Mariah Carey’s music is like nails on a chalkboard to me, especially when she sings in her famous upper register (she sounds exactly like a Whistling Pete firework – you know, the ones that screech higher and higher until they end with a bang and have no cool lights or sparkles or anything to recommend them except they’re guaranteed to make small kids cry?) But even setting aside my inherent dislike of her singing, girl has worn nothing but 700 different takes on the micro-mini dress over the past decade. She’s totally gorgeous and has a bangin’ body but seriously, haven’t you ever wondered what she would look like in sleeves? Or even – hush now – pants?? Wonder no more my friends. To make her modest enough to sell in more conservative countries, entrepreneurial Arabs gave her a Modesty Makeover. It almost makes me want to like her. That is until I remember that she sleeps in a Hello Kitty bedroom and has dedicated an entire bathroom to the mouthless kitty, despite being a fully grown woman. That makes me feel all stabby again. (Not that there is anything wrong with a little Hello Kitty love, Java Chick!)
Check out my post on HuffPo to see the full slideshow!
Am I unfairly maligning Ms. Carey’s vocal talents? Do you think she actually looks better post-makeover too?? Any of you have a go-to wardrobe item that you have in 20 different colors because you know you look awesome in it?