Beauty is Pain, Even in the Gym

Beauty is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. I realize that die-hard Princess Bride fans are firing up their e-mails at this very second to correct my misquote but I still think it applies here.

Beauty is a highly prized commodity in our society and therefore we will go to great lengths to own It or be It or even just be in the general vicinity of It. I’m not talking about plastic surgery or leg-extending or even Botox here, just the ordinary things we do so often they become de rigeur. You know, like poking yourself in the eye with a mascara wand. Do you realize that if everyone simultaneously stopped wearing mascara then all of our lashes would shrink proportionately and we’d end up at about the same place we started. But no, we must paint the hair attached to our eye lids. Future generations will cluck derisively. As they get surgical eyelash implants. Don’t even get me started on lipstick, a.k.a. tubes of lead paint that you put on the things you use to eat.

Aside to the Men
Before you men get all uppity, I have one thing to say to you: chest press. The one piece of gym equipment that is always in use on the weight floor is the chest press. And it’s not the ladies trying to fill out their sweaters (oh, if only that worked!). For some reason this is the manliest of all exercises, often to the exclusion of working one’s back or legs giving them the classic big-on-top-small-everywhere-else look. We women do not find the Quasimodo look attractive so don’t tell me you guys do it to impress us. Plus? Nose hair trimmers. Egads.

And Back to the Women
Although I will admit that women probably have a longer list of things we suffer for beauty: waxing, plucking, shaving, thong underwear and of course, stilettos top the list. High heels are a double edged sword. On one hand they shorten your Achilles tendon, cause painful bunions and keep you from running away if the situation warrants. On the other hand apparently they help build your pelvic floor muscles which are so important for many kegel-related reasons. (In the interest of full disclosure, I totally love my high heels. And I own so many and of such great height that any reasonable woman would be ashamed. Thankfully I am not reasonable.)

Even in the Gym
I’ve seen people suffer for their vanity in the gym in two main ways: inappropriate clothing choices and incorrect form. The former can remedied by reading this and adding, “invest in a good sports bra.” (It may even save your life as this quick-thinking marathoner discovered!) The latter is much more complicated as offenses range from lifting too heavy, to working out with an injury, to the classic-yet-wrong No Pain No Gain mantra professed by so many gym-a-holics.

Admit it, we’ve all done something we knew was wrong because we wanted to look purty or impressive. My list is too long to enumerate but let’s just say I’ve had more than my fair share of wardrobe malfunctions AND that trying exercises that are too difficult for me (and refusing to back down even when in over my head) is kind of my signature move.

So what’s your sacrifice for beauty? Have you ever tried an exercise that’s too hard for you?

20 Comments

  1. I don't make sacrifices… ha.

    Btw – they now have a prescription drug for growing eyelashes. Just saw the commercial for it (Latisse?). It intrigues me because everyone in my family has beautiful, long lashes except me. It scares me to think what the heck they put in it to be able to specialize in just the eyelashes. I certainly wouldn't want anything else growing longer… yikes.

  2. i love these shoes..haha! and i may even own some ridic crazy heels!

    sacrifices..bleaching my teeth, shaving every inch (you know those cavernous pits we've talked about LOL) and surviving YEARS of fake nails in crappy nail salons where they are so rough with your fingers with electric files you feel like you have no nails left!

    and organic produce, glad you're validated 🙂

  3. Latisse started out as a glaucoma medication. When docs noticed it had the side effect of eyelashes growing longer it became approved for that use.

  4. I'd be all for trying Latisse except that it's 100$ + per month and my vanity cannot afford that lol!

  5. Just read this article yesterday–seems appropriate:http://www.nrcm.org/news_detail.asp?news=3614

  6. I've never been able to wear mascara as I wear glasses and my lashes are long enough that they leave little lines on the lenses…I figure I don't need it if that is the case 🙂

    I am pretty mellow when it comes to appearance enhancement. I dye my hair…many different ways and often. Other than that…rather ho hum I'm afraid. I did have a nasty habit of doing too much exercise (run too far…put out knee…rest…repeat…) But I'm trying a different approach…

  7. I don't sacrifice for beauty anymore (I'm beyond help, anyway), but in my younger, (more) foolish days, I wore fishnet stockings and garter belts. On purpose. In my defense, this was in the late 80's/early90's, and it was very fashionable. And painful.
    Today, I don't wear any stockings. I'll even avoid socks whenever possible. And my closest concession to high heels are my MBTs. Tall klutzes should NOT wear heels. It took me a LOOONG time to learn that!

  8. Thongs are comfortable ! Really ! That´s the reason I wear them. Disclaimer: you need to try them for a week. After that you´ll either hate them, or you´ll be addicted.

    I find shaving and epilating a sacrifice (because of the boredom than the pain).

  9. I was coming to say that I read this and reread and thought NOTHING. NADA. I havent sacrificed at all.
    And then I took a step back and thought HONESTLY? IM NOT SURE I CARE IF MY LEGS ARE HAIRY.
    Ive bought into the societal notion that hairless is better (and I do agree in the underarm region only because Im a sweater in a hothot clime).
    Ive bought into the societal notion that smoothhairless is beauty.

    Id surely not shave my legs daily if I had not.

  10. Yeah, I'm kind of a reject from the female gender. I think the only concessions I make are occasionally waxing my legs and armpits when I think of it (luckily i'm asian and my leg hairs aren't very noticeable), and wearing heels about once every two weeks, and only if I know I'm going to be sitting most of the time.

    I just don't have the patience for makeup, uncomfortable clothing, or even blowdrying my hair. And I've had the same thought; if we all stopped doing these things, then we could all get an extra hours worth of sleep in the morning. But there'd always be the one person who would start a chain reaction and ruin it for us all all over again.

  11. My sacrifice for beauty is getting my eyebrows waxed/threaded, it hurts but I always feel like my face looks lifted and so much brighter after.

  12. plucking my chin whiskers!

  13. HOLY CRAP on those shoes!

    In the gym, I always try things that may be too hard for me. I either succeed or I can say I tried!

    As for heels, my feet can't do them. Wide, flat, bunions. I wore heels for my stepdaughter's wedding & my feet & bunions are still recovering form that! Seriously, I mean it! My bunions took a toll!

    As for sacrafice, when I was younger, too many to write here! 🙂

    PS: I mentioned this to MizFit too. I have a post Monday about kids. I would really appreciate your input. I know you are busy but if you could stop by and make a comment, that would be great!

  14. I'm all about the "little pain, max gain". I am a 5'5" gal with a 5'10" mindset so I love anything that gives me a lift – but have little tolerance for uncomfortable shoes, so I look far and wide and get comfy platforms or wedges. The ones I have on right now are 5 inches tall but feel like birkenstocks. They cost 2 dollars on clearance. I will cry when they fall apart.

    I shave my legs/pits because I am a dark hairbeast and I prefer to not walk around hairy. I wear lipstick every day because I like it. I wear earrings and a necklace every day and try to stylishly coordinate my clothing to look interesting and different. However, this all takes about a 20 minute investment in the morning from the alarm to out the door. I keep my hair major low maintenance (though I am getting a cut tomorrow so we'll see how long I can keep that up). I'm all about looking like I spent an hour getting ready without actually doing it…

  15. I, too, find the thong to be be my underpant of choice.

  16. I love make up and will sacrifice my time to put it on almost daily.

    I also wax.

    I'm not very big on uncomfortable shoes though.

    Underwire bras probably count.

  17. I HATE heels. Mostly because I fall out of my dansko clogs, which, while 2 inches high, are platforms. Many a twisted ankle, yes.

    I don't own make-up, uncomfortable clothing (save the bridesmaid dresses that are mandatory), or even a blow dryer. Yes, I am a 30 year old woman without a blow dryer.

    However, I am prone to the stubbornness in the gym syndrome. I don't consider that sacrificing for beauty though – I call it bullheadedness.

  18. Heather Eats Almond Butter

    I am hairy. There, I said it, and carry tweezers on my every where I go. One little hair pops out and I am plucking like crazy to the point where I even annoy myself. Other than that, I'm pretty low maintenance – don't spend much on products, etc., and when it comes to clothes, I'm all about the comfort.

    As far as exercise goes, I've tamed that beast. It took 1 50K trail race to put me in my place, and I learned that I don't need to be the fastest or run the longest. My body was not meant to do that.

  19. You can already get lash extensions- for like $450, the nicest spa in town will put them on. It's actually shocking that about 4 of the 50 girls in my law school year have decided that putting out the cash for that was worth it (I mean, I would pick a massage and great pedicure or something, not eyelash extensions!). They do look pretty fabulous though….

    And with the heels, I've only recently jumped on that train, and they make legs look so longer, and since I'm pretty short, heels do wonders.

  20. I haven't really tried an exercise that was too hard but have hurt myself doing tough stuff and kept on going – just making the injury worse. Most days, there is no beauty regime (I am not counting bathing and brushing of teeth) – working at home has its benefits. Because of that, on the few times that I do venture out, I try to dress nicely, do just a little makeup and do love heels (even though I am already 5'9"). Jewelry is the thing that has gone by the wayside as I have aged. I used to wear it and matched it, …, now, maybe a watch, rarely earrings – keep thinking my openings might just close up.