The Flaw I Refuse to Apologize For

I love it – the artist even gave her a little orange-peel bum hole!

You might not know it due to the lack of red circles drawn around my thighs or arrows pointing at my butt but I have cellulite worthy of an US cover, In Touch at the very least. It’s cottage cheese-y or orange peel-y or any other bumpy food analogy you might care to apply but you know what it’s not? Embarrassing. At least to me. I wear a swimsuit with no sarong tied around my waist. I run in my Nike tempo track shorts. And when I step out of the shower, my eyes never linger disapprovingly over my misbehaving collagen. (It helps that it is behind me.)

Even worse than not being embarrassed about my cellulite, like any good woman should according to dozens of breathless shame-filled articles, I absolutely refuse to do anything about it. I’ve never bought a “firming” cream or special tights or supplements. I’ve never tried thermologie or endermologie or any other -ologie that involves heat and/or lasers aimed at my backside. I’ve never even used fake tanner to cover it up – which brings me to another “flaw” I refuse to apologize for: my pale (to the nth power) skin. I’m not knocking any of you who love your self-tanners but for me the idea of daily painting all my exposed skin an entirely different color than the one it comes in is the very definition of ludicrous. (Note to all high school SAT essay writers: “Ludacris” is a rapper and I can think of no occasion that would make it appropriate to invoke his name in your college entrance exam. Unless you are him. For the sake of my sanity, please learn to spell the word correctly.) It’s bad enough I feel compelled to paint my face on Sundays and other dress-up occasions; most other days I don’t bother as I’ll just sweat it off during my workout, plus my baby likes to lick my face and what’s the point in buying her organic baby food if I’m giving her a cocktail of known carcinogens and lead with every kiss?

I don’t know why this is. Frankly I’m as baffled by my confidence in this area as you are. It’s not like I’m known for my self-confidence, especially when it comes to my body. Cellulite has just never bothered me. I don’t notice it on myself and, even better, I don’t notice it on other people either. Although that’s not for lack of afflicted specimens, apparently. According to an article on the dreaded red-circle disease in May’s Fitness magazine (which contains a shout-out to our very own MizFit, holla!) over 90% of women – and 0% of men – have cellulite. (For those of you curious, the gender discrepancy is accounted for by the different way male and female bodies position their collagen. According to the article, men’s collagen lines up diagonally while women’s goes straight up and down, thereby making it easier for fat molecules to squish through.) The article then goes on to explain that cellulite is “incurable” but don’t worry they have pages of advertisements disguised as reporting listing various creams you can try anyhow.

Can someone please explain to me how a condition that over 90% of women have – including Brittney Spears, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez and a host of other gorgeous women – and is “incurable” is a flaw? Doesn’t that just make it normal? It’s like criticizing women for having elbows. And then trying to sell us an elbow-removal file.

How do you feel about your cellulite? Or are you in the genetically-blessed 10% without it? What’s your “flaw” that you refuse to apologize for?

27 Comments

  1. I refuse to apologise for my cellulite and my hips. I have birthing hips and a small waist. No matter how much I work out, I will also have these hips. They're full of bone and muscle and all that non-fat stuff. I will not succumb to lures of getting rid of my "saddlebags" thank you very much

    (on a side note: saddlebags? My hips sadly don't perform this feature. I'd love the extra storage if they did).

    Of course, you have me on a good day. If we had a full length mirror (which we don't), I'd probably glimpse at said hips (and the attached CELLULITE) with horror on my bad days.

  2. I love it!  I have birthing hips too, girl.  Gotta love the tiny waist tho, right??  And this: \”(on a side note: saddlebags? My hips sadly don't perform this feature. I'd love the extra storage if they did). \” made me laugh out loud.  So true!

  3. I have cellulite. It doesn't really bother me either, probably because every other woman I see has it too. Besides, the stretch marks draw attention away.

  4. i have cellulite and i don't really notice it too much so it doesn't bother me. i have stretch marks too (and no babies as a cause of them) and i totally am not going to apologize for them. like i think i've said before, i've gotten more comfy with my body as i've gotten older so things that used to bother me (like that) don't anymore

  5. I'm like you with the pale skin. I DO NOT TAN, no matter what. I spent time trying to as a child, to fit in, and it simply doesn't happen. I've accepted it and I'm okay with it. I sometimes joke that with my copious freckles, my body DOES produce pigment, it just doesn't spread evenly across my skin. But overall, I've accepted it and don't apologize for it anymore. It's part of who I am.

    Now, if I could just fine a sunscreen that wouldn't leave me burned bright red in 30 minutes regardless of spf…

  6. Who knew these things? I must have missed Cellulite 101 in med school.
    Perhaps with the new curriculums it can be included.

    Right after removing Love-Bugs, removing cellulite is a major industry
    in our country. Not to successful with either from what I've seen.

  7. I have it and it does bother me – I wear sarong's over my bathing suit when someone outside my immediate family is around. I am bummed about most of my flaws but not enough to do something major about them. I guess the one that I am OK with is my pear shape – does not really bother me but my eldest, who was gifted with my figure, is not appreciative.

  8. Uh what was the SAT Essay comment doing in this post? It seemed to come out of left field.

  9. Making us self-conscious about the things that naturally occur to our bodies drives a multi-billion dollar industry. That's why. Not that I don't love makeup, I do. But I neither believe in nor buy anything for my cellulitic thighs. At 43, I have earned the right to a little cellulite & a few wrinkles.

  10. Testing 1 2 3 😉
    I am coming to terms with my cellulite and my pale whiteness. Luckily my daughter got the gorgeous olive italian complexion that seems to have skipped over me. Lucky girl!

  11. I don't look.. if I don't look & I don't see it, I don't have it! 😀

  12. I don't have none, but I've never really noticed it – maybe I have a few dimples in my behind but I don't really care. I've got enough stretch marks and saggy belly skin to make up for it though… 🙂

  13. I don't worry about my butt cellulite. Its not like its in the front where I can see it.

  14. Hahah. My day job is a SAT essay grader.  Ludicrous.  Ludacris.  Pet peeve.

  15. Cellulite is fat, there are no supernatural massagers, creams, or other treatments that will abolish it. Slimming and reducing the size of your fat cells may minimize the appearance of cellulite, so your safest bet is to follow a healthy diet and complete exercise program.

    We have products you need to remove your butt cellulite you may want to visit our site

  16. I refuse to apologize for fat upper arms. Every year this time, women start bemoaning how their arms are "too fat" for sleeveless blouses. *%# that! I live in a hot climate, and I will wear what's comfortable, not what someone else approves for me. If you don't like how I look, don't look at me. If that's not good enough, feel free to gouge your eyes out with a fork.

    @KUrunner: I am cracking up on that last sentence!

  17. Me too on the sunscreen thing!!!!!

  18. I too burn and freckle like crazy – the best sunscreen I have found is KINeSYS. I hiked in Death Valley and the Grand Canyon in July with this stuff and did not burn, in fact for the first time in my life if you squinted just right I had a tiny bit of a tan on my legs (or maybe it was just dust lol).

  19. Believe it or not, I'm in the 10% group – no cellulite. (well, perhaps if I lost some weight it would show up – the skin back there is stretched pretty tight…. *snort*)
    On the other hand, I have horrible elbows! Where can I buy this elbow removal file of which you speak?

  20. I don't worry about cellulite much – actually, despite my chubbiness, I don't think I have much. If that makes sense.

    I have also come to terms with my paleness. It used to bother me when I was younger that I couldn't tan, but now it really doesn't.

    On the subject of flaws – I have red curly hair (though it has darkened somewhat over the past few years). Most of the time people complement me on my hair, but every now and then someone will ask me if I mind the red hair (usually a little old lady type); I can only assume this is because red hair used to be seen as a flaw. Fortunately, I've always liked mine, curls and all.

  21. "If you don't like how I look, don't look at me." I've been saying that lately, too! "If that's not good enough, feel free to gouge your eyes out with a fork." AWESOME!!!!!!!

    I don't have cellulite, I just have fat. I think, once we reach a certain age and have birthed a few kids, either one or the other is inevitable. And, yes, there are billion-dollar industries that want us to feel awful about it, just so we'll give them our hard-earned cash. Well, I'd rather spend mine at the bookstore, thanks.

  22. I always figured sinc eI can't do anything about cellulite I won't worry about it. I just try and keep my pear shaped butt in porportion with my teeny waist and let the jiggling fend fo ritself 🙂
    The one thing I do get annoyed at are the stretch marks I have from losing weight (honestly you'd think I'd had a few babies at least ) because they don't tan at the same rate as the rest of me. Eventually they catch up but I go al zebralike for a bit in the spring until things equilibrate.

    I wouldn't think being pale is a flaw…I actually try and be pale. I just freckle up instead 🙂

  23. Charlotte (and all of you other fabulous ladies)- you must watch this!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaruNs_7okY&fe

    Enjoy!

  24. In my post today about abs I have it mostly written and i am asking this same question, well, whats' something you love and dont love about your body. I dont love my size 12 feet. They are a real curse! I mean honestly…no cute shoes exist in boat size!
    xo

    p.s glad the commenting thing worked out and who knows…wtf? Computers!

  25. HILARIOUS!!!  I love it!  Thanks for making my day!

  26. Ok so I can't comment on my site..but I can on yours? test….

  27. I had to comment to this post because I am the same way when it comes to "jiggly arms." I honestly couldn't tell you if my arms are jiggly, or if anybody else has jiggly arms. Apparently I am immune from worrying about that particular beauty flaw.