The middle school locker room has left many a lasting imprint on my mind, most shudder-inducing, but there is one I still giggle about. A girl, NotHerRealName, refused to wear deodorant, claiming that her sweat didn’t stink. Oh sure the rest of us smelled like damp dog after an hour of doing pushups on the freshly manured football field (true story) but while she glistened with the rest of us hormonally exploding girls, she didn’t think she smelled like the rest of us. Because – in her words – “I can’t smell myself.” All I can think is she must have been absent the day we got to watch My Body and Me in health class.
I never suffered under the same delusion. I knew I stank then and I know I stink now!
Confession: I throw out a lot of perfectly good workout clothing. It’s not that I’m trying to be wasteful but – and I may have mentioned this one or two hundred times – I sweat like a dude. So while my cute definitely non-dude-like tank top may still look decent, if I’ve had it for more than a few months it has probably accumulated the dreaded workout stench. Once it has passed the point of no return, meaning there isn’t a laundry detergent out there that can touch it, I just have to chuck it. I can’t in good conscience donate something that smells like swack. I recently had to throw out my most favorite Adidas workout capris (seriously – best workout pants ever; I’m in mourning) because of the stank. Although I have to say the worst offender are my sports bras. The best moment of my workout is when the Gym Buddies and I all sit down to stretch and I lean forward to touch my toes, causing my bra to shoot a little puff of sweaty air up into my face. Never mind a heart rate monitor, I can tell exactly how hard I worked out by how much I offend myself in that moment.
Enter StinkAtNothing.com – this site is giving away free workout shirts treated with some new substance called Agion Active that they swear makes it so your sweat doesn’t stink. They aren’t asking you to do anything except test it out – just go to their site, give them your info and they’ll send you a free shirt. Now, I haven’t seen these shirts so they might be as ugly as sin (or more likely have AGION ACTIVE!! stamped in 300 places all over them) but it’s free and anything that claims to make my sweat not stink has my attention. After you try out the free shirt, if you tell them about your experience with it you’ll be entered into a contest to win an outdoor adventure trip for two.
You already know how much I love being a guinea pig; here’s your chance to be one too! Go get you a free shirt!
Can you smell yourself when you sweat? Anyone else have a funny middle school locker room story?
And… the winner of the 50$ gift card to Dick’s Sporting Goods is: Megan who wrote “While my girliness came along much later in life, I LOVE my running skirt and think I might NEED the capri version. My poor mother had 4 boys and me, and all I wanted to wear were my brother’s hand-me downs (including some sweet tube socks). ” E-mail me your info and I’ll hook you up!