After FitJerk shredded our abs, you’d think I’d be leery of handing our delicate lady behinds over to him but you know me and a good challenge. Besides, this is our “rest week” on P90X and we needed a little variety to spice up our Core Synergistics (the least restful workout ever, Tony Horton!!) and Yoga (of which the Gym Buddies are boycotting). So Monday found us kicking, lifting, squatting and – heaven help us – thrusting our butts to high heaven. All in the middle of a very crowded weight floor. Mondays are the day the staff reserve to give the elderly folks the tour of the fitness floor. We got a ton of stares and quite a few comments. Thankfully dollar bills were not involved.
But, (or butt! hee!) let’s get to the workout. I’ll let Fit Jerk explain it to you. He even went to the effort of drawing you cute little illustrations. The Gym Buddies and I will interpret:
This workout has been a while in the making… I mean just ask Charlotte. I told her about it like a month a go and after some trial runs I finally got everything up to speed and we have a workout that will quite literally spank you silly.
Charlotte’s note: My butt hurts. A lot. No spanking necessary, thank you.
The making: A while back I challenged Charlotte to try my insane ab workout and to my surprise she got a bunch of her friends together and put them through sweet agony. Nothing says friendship like “hey, come feel the massive burn of lactic acid with me!” – I should know, I put my good friend and training partner through this 3 times a week. Sometimes 4, then he hates me. So I figured, why not throw up a new challenge for her? So I picked a body part I get asked about a lot, and made a workout to help make it spectacular.
Alright let’s get on with it.
The Booty Blast: Working Out Your Behind So You Can Move Forward in Life
Golden Rule: Rest 90 seconds between each exercise and 60 seconds between each set.
R = Reps
S = Sets
mx = Maximum Reps (Till failure)
/ = Divides the # of reps you need to do per set
Exercise 1: Standing Kickbacks
S = 3 (per leg)
R = 20/20/mx
First of all, I should mention that you can do this while standing OR on the floor by going on all fours (hands and knees). Do whatever works for you. The concept is simple: Pick a leg and bring the knee up into a 90 degree bend. Flex your toes upward and kick your legs back while simultaneously driving you heels into a non-existent target. If someone was standing behind you while doing a kick back, they should get impaled by the heel of your foot. It’s like a mule kick. YEEEHANWWW! TO make it challenging, you can always kick higher but to REALLY feel it in the bum, try holding your leg for a second or two once extended, then bring it back.
Strangely no one wanted to volunteer to stand behind Allison to get kicked. Yeah, I know she smiles all cute but girlfriend kicks like a donkey.
Workout 2: Deep Hack Squat
S = 3
R = 15/20/mx
You will need some kind of machine for this since I don’t want most of you doing the traditional barbell hack squat. The thing with the hack squat is that your legs are out in front of you… so as you go down into the squat it will look as if you’re sitting in a chair. Think of doing a wall sit… its a similar position, but you go deeper. If your gym does not have a hack squat machine, you can use the leg press machine and just keep your feet in front as much possible. Having your heels under your knees is a good way to think of it. Also, don’t rush it… slow and controlled. For those that know how to read tempo, do 212.
Fit Jerk didn’t give me a cute little drawing for this one so you get my best attempt at good form. Yes, it feels as weird as it looks but trust me – with your feet out that far you really really feel it in your tush.
See those red marks across my shoulders? The sign of a really heavy hack squat! I love a good weight-lifting war wound!
Workout 3: Assisted Roundhouse Kick
S = 3 (per leg)
R = 15/20/mx
This exercise is my secret weapon to a great backside, I’m not tooting my horn here… it’s feedback from plenty of women, so you know… it’s gotta be all true. I’ve been doing karate since I was 15 years old and I always noticed the great burn feeling in my butt after my Sensei put us through this drill every class. By the time we finished it felt like I had sat down butt naked on a hot stove. We don’t need to go that crazy, but this is a great exercise. To do this, stand against a wall and make sure your supporting leg (non kicking leg) has its toes pointed TO the wall. This means your heels will face the target. Next, bring up the knee of the kicking leg as high as possible and bend it so that your heels are almost touching your butt cheek. Hold on to this leg. Now while staying in this position, fire the kicking leg (point your toes) and then bring it back. Every rep should be done as fast and as furiously as possible.
Note: Once you start the kicking, DO NOT hold the leg every rep, this defeats the purpose. You’ll notice that your knees start to dip as you get tired… you need to FIGHT this urge because that’s where a lot of the results come form.
Assisted kicks are for wusses! We don’t need no stinking wall!
Workout 4: Hip Abductions
S = 3 (per leg)
R = mx/mx/mx
Most gyms have cable machines and have a crap load of different attachments that you can use. One of these attachments is for your ankles. But if you don’t go to the gym and/or your gym does not have the adequate equipment, you can do this with a pair of resistance bands which cost like $30 for a full set! So you have no excuse. If you’re REALLY dead broke and/or walking itself gives your rear a burn then you can do this without any resistance.
I don’t think much explanation is needed. Keep your hips perpendicular to the direction you’ll be kicking. Keep the kicking leg as straight as possible and raise sideways as high as you can. Dipping your upper body down a little bit will help get your leg up higher. Oh and holding onto something for balance is generally a very good idea.
The beginning of the move.
The end of the move – isn’t Allison the most adorable fitness model ever?
Gratuitous backside shot (this is what happens when Krista gives us immature girls the camera to hold)!
Workout 5: Barbell Butt Bridge (Or hump the ceiling)
S = 4
R = 20/30/mx/mx
Grab a normal 45lbs barbell and place it along your hips. The thing I like about this exercise is that you can keep adding weight according to your experience level… but don’t let your ego get carried away. To do the 30 reps during the second set, I doubt you’ll be able to get away with much weight so take an educated guess. You may also use dumbbells by placing them on your thighs and holding on to them.
As you lie down, bring your knees up and keep your feet flat on the floor. Then raise your butt and lower back off the floor (hump the ceiling), hold it for a second and then lower yourself back to starting position. You should really focus on squeezing your bum as you do this… not only will it let you lift a heavier load, you will get the desired effect needed.
Nope, no picture from us on this one! This was embarrassing (hee!) enough without photographic evidence. But I want to point out that we totally DID use the 45 pound bar! It was even the curl bar so it hurt in two different ways – so take THAT Mr. Jerk!
Workout 6: Eat Smart!
S = unlimited
R = forever
One final thing I want you to realize is that just like abs, a great butt will be hiding behind a layer of fat… unless you get rid of it. Doing this workout will surely give you a powerful bum, and will give it the “tightness” it needs to stay firm… but if you really wanna “show it off” then you need to realize that your eating habits are just as crucial. Unleash your spectacular rear view by eating right AND doing my workouts… and expect to be complimented and stalked – Every girls dream.
Stalking is every girl’s dream? And in other news, next week I will be guest posting, on Fit Jerk’s blog about new wave feminism in a gym environment.
No, cheers to you my abtastic friend! Thanks for another great challenge!
Author Bio: While he has a passion for writing and oozes the entrepreneurial spirit, FJ is a Fitness Expert first, and focuses on impeccably accurate advice that is delivered it in a straight forward, No-BS style. Check out his book or for personal attention, look into E-Training!
Overall this was a kick-butt routine – in both senses! All of us were sore the next day which was good since our derrieres are not something we choose to work very often. Kinda like calves for me – I will never willingly work my calf muscles. I hate calf exercises. Do you have a body part you hate to work? Any of you try this workout with us this last weekend??
Written By Charlotte Hilton Andersen for http://thegreatfitnessexperiment.blogspot.com only! Not to be re-published without permission.