Mr. Miyagi would be so proud of me. I just caught a mosquito – the Minnesota state bird, woot, woot! – mid flight with only my thumb and forefinger (fingers: like chopsticks but for monkeys).
This feat of athletic prowess got me thinking about how far I’ve come. People who read this site and/or only know me from 2004 onward think I’ve always been this crazyobsessed with health and fitness but the truth is I do have a “before.” While I’ve never been above my BMI range for “normal” (BMI measurement: like a real health assessment but for monkeys), I have definitely been in a position where I had to lose weight. Any woman who has had a baby has been there.
In September 2001 – yes, that September – I gave birth to my daughter Faith who immediately died of complications due to Turner’s Syndrome. In October, only one month later, I got pregnant with my first son. I did not lose the pregnancy weight in that one month. Obviously. But we had more important things to worry about like mourning our daughter’s death while at the same time celebrating, i.e. totally freaking out, about our son’s impending birth. What can I say? It was a weird year. Thankfully my son was born happy and healthy in July of 2002. This was me when he was 5 months old:
I had not lost the pregnancy weight – a solid 46 pounds – in those five months. Obviously. Strangely, despite weighing the most I’d ever weighed, this was the only time in my life that I completely didn’t care what I looked like or what I weighed. Blissfully happy just to have a baby after two years of trying and a miscarriage and a stillbirth, the scale didn’t even come out of the bathroom closet. I ate what I wanted. My baby was a butterball. We were all happy. I was – dare I say it? – fat and happy. (Albeit with a really messy kitchen. Eek!)
Then I got pregnant with my second one when my first was just nine months old. Those nine months – due to no fault of my baby – were the most hellacious of my life thanks to the court case against my ex-boyfriend for sexual assault that lasted, oh yes, nine months. (My ex was sentenced and the very next day my baby was born.) Eating disorder? Back with a vengeance. Body hate? Totally. At the brink of the pit of utter despair? Indeed. It was after my second son’s birth that I got into healthy eating and exercise. And despite the few jaunts back into ED-Land (hello, compulsive exercise!), it was a really good thing.
While most people measure their fitness success with before and after shots (Look ma – here I am dumpy and frowny and now here I am svelte and smiley!), my real success story is the change inside me and in my abilities.
B.F. (before learning to love fitness and nutrition) I shied away from group sports of any kind. Now I love nothing more than jumping in on a pickup game of Frisbee or kickball. And it wasn’t that my athletic ability increased to superstardom – seriously, I still suck – it was that I gained confidence in my ability to play. It also helped that I could now run a few laps down the field without keeling over from lack of oxygen.
B.F. I used to look for people at Costco to help me pick up the heavy stuff and get it into my cart. Now I enjoy showing off all the big stuff I can heft around with ease.
B.F. the only thing I knew about healthy eating was that fat was very very bad for you. As were calories. Now I know that I need fat and calories to live and that just because a rice cake is only 50 calories doesn’t mean it’s “healthy.”
B.F. I felt scared and vulnerable all the time. I’d been attacked before and didn’t defend myself and so I was convinced that I was just a sitting duck waiting for the next psycho to come into my life. Now I’ve taken control (for the most part) of those feelings. The nightmares are gone. The PTSD is gone. I look strangers in the eye. I walk with my head up. (Although I do not carry my keys in my fingers – I have it on good authority that actually doesn’t work well.)
B.F. I thought that having the perfect body would make me beautiful. Now I know that when you are beautiful on the inside it radiates out of you, no matter what you weigh or if you have stretch marks or cellulite. Now I know that “after” is a myth and progress is everything.
I could go on and on about all the positive effects eating right and learning to love exercise have had on my life and not one of them would have anything to do with a bikini. What I really wish is that there was a special camera that could take an “after” picture that would do all the changes I’ve been through in the past 5 years justice. This is as close as I could get (about a year after my second son was born):
Freedom.
Also, B.F. I never caught a mosquito with my bare hands. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear a cricket chirping in this room somewhere and it’s driving me nuts. I don’t have any chopsticks but my garlic press is handy;)
Giveaway
What better way to celebrate a good “after” than new fitness gear? Dick’s Sporting Goods – sports store extraordinare – has everything you need to support your healthy lifestyle no matter where you are on your journey and they want to give you $100 to get you started. Click through to my giveaway blog (my advertisers have these rules that all the really cool giveaways have to be done on an ad-free page) for the details on how to win. So check it out and then come back to this post to leave your comment.
Oh – and this has nothing to do with the giveaway – but if you want to tell me the best thing you’ve learned from embracing a healthy lifestyle, I’m dying to hear it!
LOVE those pictures!!!!!!
I'm not entering the drawing, but I do want to say BRAVA to you!
(I can now also lift heavy objects. Things that were impossible a few years ago are no problem now.)
I can move/lift things that surprise me, too. I'm much less moody and neurotic than I used to be, and I think this is due to both food and exercise. Not sure how much malnutrition (even when I was obese) and blood sugar swings affect mental state, but I'm much happier and more even-tempered than I used to be. Lighter,too!
At Dick's, I would want to buy Kettle Bells because I've heard such wonderful things about them! I'd love to give them a try, but they're super expensive.
me? Ive learned it is NOT AT ALL ABOUT THE VESSEL.
once I started living healthy for other reasons (circa 1994) the vessel just finally snapped into place.
I cant lie.
Id love to win this 🙂
Miz.
Can I just say I love the "before" picture too? I love that you focus so much on the healthy aspects of eating right and getting strong and fit and not so much the loss of poundage.
And what would I get at Dicks? (Awesome prize, btw). Well, as I'm trying to get more of a home gym set up, perhaps some new dumbbells and plates (mine are rusty and I don't have enough of them). Or hell, what I really need are new workout clothes, as mine are getting kinda old and funky.
I love how happy you look in those pictures.
I'd get a pair of cute sneakers.
Hmm…I would probably buy new running gear at Dick's to give me some extra motivation to hit the pavement.
Loved this post, by the way. It's always good motivation to hear about others health journeys and even more refreshing when it's not all about the weight.
I'll *say* that I would get running shoes, but actually I'd probably get cute clothes… because that is a most excellent way to spend free money!
Thanks so much for sharing the Before & After story.
I'm sure that many of us moms can chime in with "me too!" about the fat & happy to miserable that came after babies.
Even though I may have started losing the weight mostly to feel better about my physical appearance, the part that was about just feeling better in general took over.
As part of my After:
I walk dogs up hills – without slowing down.
I've chased children on bicycles with the training wheels just removed – and kept up.
I can say "no" to junk food – and not panic about enjoying a milkshake & french fries on saturday after a family hike.
I've always lifted the heavy stuff at Costco myself – but now, it doesn't hurt.
Biggest thing, when I see the two pics I think of as before/after photos, it's not the difference between body fat I notice anymore. It's the big fat smile on my face after crossing the finish line of my first half marathon.
LOVE that pic of you!!!! And love what "you have found"!
Me, OMG, for the random generator to pick me! I still wear 12+ year old leotards so I sooooo need workout clothes & that is what I would buy for sure!!!!
As for what I have learned from embracing a healthy lifestyle, how healthy I feel, how much more I can do, how I stand up straighter, how it rubs off on good ways to other people without saying a word, how it will hopefully help me live to see my grandkids grow up. So much Charlotte!
Thx for sharing!
I really should buy yoga stuff from Dicks…I am a tense person (or so they tell me…) and I suppose I should give yoga a shot.
PS–Like you, I was "fat" and happy. Now, I'm not fat but I'm not exactly happy either. A work in progress, I suppose.
I would buy running shoes and a sports bra. Because mine are a couple years old.
I have been training for a 7-day bike ride since February. Did not lose any weight, in spite of healthy eating and regular exercise. Finally decided I was going to stop caring about the weight, and focus on the fitness. Started losing a pound a week at the end of July, which continues now. (Might be at goat weight by next feb, at that rate).
Oh, to win would mean some work out clothes that aren't old, old, old! lol. Or, shoes that I actually like and that may, just may, help instead of hurt!
I've learned it's about how I feel…having the energy to d the things I enjoy and discovering that a lot of the things I enjoy are very active. I love to run and do bellydance. Who knew? 🙂
I'd love to win – momma needs a new pair of shoes! My running shoes are on their way out…
It always amazes me the things that I can do now – take hour long aerobic classes, Taekwondo, and even short runs – that I couldn't do before I fell in love with fitness.
At Dick's, I would buy new workout clothes, sports bras, and a new pair of sneakers. The changes that pregnancy is making to my body is making all the old workout gear not so body friendly.
Love the post! And I want a giant butterball baby with cute cheeks to come sit on my messy countertops!
Love your Before & After story and pics! If I were lucky enough to win, I'd buy some in-between workout clothes. My baby should be here by then and I'll need some stuff that fits to motivate me to get back into shape.
Great post!! I think that fitness has made me better about my body… although I sometimes relapse, most of the time I focus on all the fun things my body can *do* rather than how it *looks*.
And I would buy a large camping packback or some new trail sneakers… I have major hiking trip planned in a few months and have a ton of stuff to pick up.
As a woman to another woman..you are beautiful on the inside and out.
I think woman are very forgiving of each others looks and we need to stick together and help lift up each other in a positive way.
If you see a woman and you like her clothing or hair or what ever it is…walk up to her and tell her. That compliment will stay with her all day!
I never knew about your fitness background, Charlotte – thanks for sharing. I love that pic of you jumping and beaming 🙂
I would buy brand new fabulous workout clothes!
I loved hearing your before + after story. You've come such a long way 🙂
If I had $100 at Dick's, I'd buy a pair of running sunglasses for this crazy Arizona sun! I'm following them on twitter 🙂
I love being able to lift heavy things and love how strong arms look on a woman. Mostly, I love that my teenage daughters have grown up knowing that women can be smart and strong and proud of it.
New running shoes
At Dick's, I would buy one of those sparring kits, with a set of boxing gloves and those wearable hand pads for punching. I took boxing lessons for a while, years ago, and I absolutely loved it. Not only was it great exercise, but it was a healthy way to deal with my pent up anger and frustration!
At Dick's, I would buy some new workout stuff for my new group fitness teaching adventures starting on Sept 12!! Momma needs a new pair of shoes!!
Great story, Charlotte! I always love to read about people who have found a good path in life.
PS Although we have PLENTY of mesquites here, I guess our state bird would have to be the cockroach
🙂
Thank you for your story – I"m still progressing on my own "after," so (as always) your insights are wonderful.
While I'm here, I might as well say that I could really use some new sports bras and a free-weights set.
I would like to try out kettlebells also. In addition, I could use some new workout clothes.
Thanks for the giveaway!
wow…you went through an insane amount of stress in just the course of a few years.
if i could get a giftcard from dicks, i'd probably buy my sister a new leotard as nobody seems to support her gymnastics.
This is so great to hear. There's such a fine line between healthy eating/exercise and disordered eating/exercise; you seem to have achieved the former. Yay!
If I were to win that awesome $100 Dick's giveaway, I'd get myself some new sneakers. Mine are old and stinky!
Dang you have skills. Definitely can see the former gymnist in you lol.
I would kill for a new heart rate monitor! Hopefully I can get one on Dick's tab!
I'd buy a pair of proper shoes. I've never spent more the $24.95 on shoes, and the amount of time I spend at the gym (chat time included) I think I deserve a good pair of shoes 🙂
Ahh great giveaway! And great post!
I'd love to buy some ankle weights at Dick's so that I can continue doing my physical therapy exercises at home and stay away from the running injuries club that I've spent far too long in!!
I would like to say that I would buy some underarmour base layers, because I'm trying to get back into running and the cold Iowa winter will be here before I can blink. Realistically though I would probably buy shoes, because I'm a self-admitted running shoe junkie and I can't help myself. lol
I LOVE Dick's sporting goods!! I would totally buy some new runnig gear. The stuff I have now is so old, outdated, blown out and grimey… I can't hardly be seen in them anymore.
Oh I'd probably buy new running shoes – I'm due. 🙂 And maybe a cute running skirt!
Christin
I am still working out with 5 weeks left of my pregnancy and that feels great to me!
I would buy a great sports bra (if they sell them) since I have never treated myself to one. And I would love to be a kettle bell.
Running clothes that fit! It's great that my body is downsizing, but I have very little to wear, and while I don't need to look all pretty and pressed while exercising, I do need some new workout clothes DESPERATELY.
I would see if they have warmer biking clothes…thinking ahead.
Loved this post. You are remarkable.
I love your blog! I have been reading a while but I don't remember if I have ever commented. 🙂
But I find that my healthy lifestyle is rewarded when my children ask for seconds of salad before a second piece of pizza or for a snack they choose fruit. Don't get me wrong, we love our chocolate or ice cream! But to see them 'getting' the whole moderation thing makes me feel like we are all heading in the right direction!
And a Dicks Contest win would make me happier, I need new sneakers!
What a great post and a fantastic picture! I love what you said about "after" being a myth and progress being everything. In fact, my husband just said the same thing to me less than 10 minutes ago. Hmmm… maybe I should start paying attention.
Anyway, if I had $100 to spend at Dick's, I would get some shoes that fit me properly- I have small, uber-weird feet.
Wow, such great ideas for a possible windfall! I would go for the punching/kicking bag idea, and possibly a good sports bra, since there's nothing worse than trying to vent some frustration/work out with the girls trying to do their own thing!
Best thing I've learned: That true beauty and confidence come from within. It really doesn't matter how other people perceive you it's all to do with how you perceive yourself. If you are happy then that's all that matters.
@ Dick's, hmmm totally torn. I need new workout bra's and shorts for interval training. Lifting hard and heavy means I need to get some new weight plates too for my barbell/dumbells
Hi Charlotte,
I came across your blog and loved it! I bet you've heard that before. Anyway, just thought I would introduce myself; I'm Kellie from Women's Life Link. Your pregnancy weight story is delightful (except for the sad parts). I will be back.
Kellie
Love the photos! I would seriously hurt myself if I jumped like that. Or at least wet my pants. What I've learned about the healthy life? I don't do it begrudgingly; I love eating healthy food. I love exercising. Glad neither is a chore.
Great job! I'm not a fitness maniac yet, and I'm still overweight, but I never shy away from weeding or mowing the yard, playing badminton or kickball, or romping around. I recently started yoga, and I bought a mat (and some badminton birdies) from Dick's. With $100, I would buy some free weights (soup cans aren't cutting it anymore) and a sweat-wicking workout outfit. My hubby and I are looking into hiking soon, so I'd probably price some boots, too 🙂
What a great post, thanks for sharing! I would love to win the Dick's prize!! With $100, I would buy a new pair of running shoes. I am training for a marathon and miles are adding up on my current sneaks.
I think you're gorgeous in both pictures, and your chipmunk-cheeked baby is so adorable it's ridiculous. I'm seriously missing having kids around my life, perhaps I need to start volunteering at the university daycare again.
I don't think that there's a Dick's Sporting Goods- but I'd be willing to shop online and pay the customs. I think I'd buy a pilates ball, or a new yoga mat. Or perhaps some good socks…hmmm
What I've learned: "tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life" is a lousy way to live. Today is what counts, and I deserve to live today the healthiest way I can.
What to buy at Dick's: new running shoes and socks.
Cammi99
I love the picture on the trampoline!
I would use the $100 to get a cruiser bike (since my mountain bike got stolen back in June).
Best after picture ever.
I went from being a slightly overweight (always in my healthy BMI) soft smoker who usually just went to bars for fun to a push-up doing, kettlebell lifting, planking, chest pressing, dead lifting, squatting Spin instructor. Also my mental outlook totally shifted toward a more positive, relaxed angle.
Mama needs a new pair of shoes!
i would buy new shorts, maybe a couple of workout dvds since the winter is right around the corner and i wont feel like drivin to the gym in the snow 🙂
I haven't been thinking so much about "Before and After" because my journey is still in progress. I'm getting there, though, and thinking about all the things I can do now, that I haven't been able to do before. 🙂 I just told Jennie tonight that I never took "Before" pictures because I honestly never thought there would be an "after." I never really thought I could do it.
But I am doing it! I am changing…thus the need for a $100 gift card to Dick's. My workout clothes generally consist of T-shirts and a couple of pairs of workout pants, which are all getting more than their fair share of laundry time. I never thought I'd be a gym rat 4…5…6…7 days a week. I am in serious need of some new clothes!
$100 from Dick's Sporting Goods store…what to buy, what to buy, what to buy…probably put it toward an elliptical. I know a lot of people hate the machine, but it was my favorite when I had a gym membership. Probably because I had no problem using it at 5:30 in the morning. People would time your stationary bike use, but I could do a full hour on the elliptical (45 mins forward, 15 backward…you heard it right). Anyway, it would get used here. I guarantee it.
Oh, and since this is the first chiming in I've done since you've started back: Welcome back!
In coming back tonight to read comments, I realized I hadn't posted my shopping list if I won a Dick's Sporting Goods gift card. (Honestly, it didn't actually sink in that there was a giveaway until later. I'm that unfocused on Mondays.)
If I were to be picked by the random number generator, I'm shopping for cycling gear. A goal for this autumn/winter is to keep riding after the temps drop below 60. I'll need a jersey with sleeves.
If I would be so lucky as to win, I'd actually give this to my dad. He's never really able to spend things on himself (mom either) and I know he loves to golf and he's always outside, so I think he'd use it for some outdoor clothes or shoes or even golf supplies.
-Lauren
laure51990 AT aol DOT com
I love that I can sprint after my two boys when they run in opposite directions and get to them both before they reach anything dangerous. Also I was at Costco the other day and impressed my daughter by being able to lift up a mega-dogfood bag all by myself. I love knowing I am setting a good example for her.
I would probably get workout clothing and shoes. Definitely time for some new shoes.
I would love a pair of lightweight running shoes to get some free speed 🙂
One of the best things I've learned from a healthy lifestyle is that health means whatever you want it to mean. And I think that's a good analogy for life in general.
I think I'd get some new workout clothes- I'm in desperate need of some new ones. Especially socks/sports bra.
Thanks for the great giveaway and also for your total willingness to share your stories and personal feelings, struggles, and triumphs.
I'd buy a really, really good sports bra…because I just saw an old college friend (we graduated 10years ago) and she said, and I quote, "WOW! I didn't know that really small boobs sag too!!"
I'm awesome. hahahahaha…
Angela
I would buy new running shoes at Dicks to get me through half-marathon training. Boring, but necessary!
Wow! What a great contest! I could really use a new pair of running shoes. I made the novice mistake of taking mine on a camping trip this past weekend… They don't look too cute anymore.
Wow! What a great contest! I could really use a new pair of running shoes. I made the novice mistake of taking mine on a camping trip this past weekend… They don't look too cute anymore.
Love the pictures! I like that you posted pictures showing you feeling happy regardless of your weight. 🙂
I followed Dick's on twitter and if I won- I would get some hand weights and medicine balls so I could do more strength work at home.
If I won the $100 gift card for Dick's, I would purchase a pair of good running shoes that will help me to complete my training for the Umstead 100 mile race in March 2010. This is important to me because I was very much a non-athlete when I was younger, and I am still amzed that I can cover the distances that I do, and enjoy doing it. Running has helped me overcome alcoholism, and is assisting in dealing with an eating disorder. Running is my hobby, my therapy, my life.
Great post! Love the pictures.
I've learned that I can do whatever I put my mind to. And that I feel so much better when I am working out and eating proper!
I would probably buy a BOSU at Dick's. If I had it home I could get some extra core work out and make it play time with my kids!
With the $100 Dicks Giftcard, I would finally purchase the essentials I need for my October 18th marathon, like non-cotton attire, or shoes that don't hurt.
One thing I've learned is that being health is just as much mental, if not more, than it is physical
sully DOT christian AT gmail DOT com
At Dicks I would buy a new bicycle. I just recently completed a triathlon on a mountain bike and I'm itching to buy a real road bike and trying it again
Scubagrrl
OH! I would buy new running shoes or maybe a real punching bag — I'll make up my mind later! Pick me!
I always seem to run out of clean gym clothes to wear, so that's what I'd buy at Dick's!
(totally not related, except in a completely juvenile way, my twitter name: weeniers)
Great post! I totally agree that confidence matters more than how much you can lift or what you look like. I found that being at a more comfortable weight, I felt more comfortable to let go of the facade I was hiding behind 🙂
If I had $100 for Dick's I would buy some new sneakers! Can never have enough!
What a great before and after concept. I love it. The pictures are good too! It is amazing that the weight is really a symptom of all the other things that are hindering our spirit…you definitely seem like a courageous woman.
Ok…Dicks? Easy! I would buy the Polar FA20F White Activity Computer! I keep tweeting this! Would heart this for my first half marathon in Oct!! Thanks!!
That was a great "before and after" post Charlotte!
I love being a great example to my three girls. I didn't want to be the mom who sat on the sidelines/wouldn't wear a swimsuit/couldn't keep up with them. Now I am.
My wife and I have both worked very hard to get back into shape. And $100 would go a long way for new workout clothes for both of us.
What a great post!! I am proud of you. I fluctuate between loving fitness and feeling like its just one more thing on a to do list that i dont have time for. I need workout buddies and a YMCA.
At Dicks, I would buy a kneeboard- Adam and I have been wanting to get back into this 80's sport. Or if not that some padded cycling shorts. Seriously, Im tired of my but hurting.
Wonderful post! Thanks for sharing your story.
What would I buy at Dick's with $100?
Winter running clothes. I live in Atlanta where it doesn't get too terribly cold, but I'm a wuss! I hate the cold and basically quit running last winter because I couldn't hack the weather. After losing all that I had worked so hard to achieve, I vowed not to let the cold weather get the better of me this winter!
I would buy a sweet jacket I would never buy myself as well as some new running shoes/sports bra!
In terms of a before and after effect, this sort of happened to me when I started CrossFit. Prior I had always been active in sports, but was struggling to make the transition from team sports to just going to the gym. So, after cleaning up my diet and exercise program, I've noticed: better skin and teeth, more balanced hormones (i.e. not as many crying jags on my period), a huge improvement in strength to where I can now do pull-ups, and just overall I feel more empowered to do physical tasks. It is awesome to look at the world as your oyster, whatever life throws at me, I'm ready.
You sound like one tough lady- and a smart one too!
I follow Dicks on twitter- hondaray6
If I win I would buy Nascar gear for my racing crazed boys! Thanks for the chance!
hondaray6 at hotmail dot com
I love the second picture! That is the best embodiment of an after picture ever! It's not about the bikini, it's about being able to get up off the beach and play volleyball without feeling like your fat is flying everywhere.
I'm still working on it of course, but I think it's that I don't have to be perfect to live healthy. It's not black and white, it's shades of grey. I'm not a failure if I eat that cookie in the break room at work instead of resist it, as long as I make sure it doesn't happen all the time. I'm not DOOMED TO BE FAT forever if I miss one workout. I can consider myself leading a healthy lifestyle even face down in a double cheese burger, as long as that's the exception to the rule.
I'd love to use the winnigs towards a garmin forerunner. I've been eying these super-watches for a while, but I haven't had the funds to justify the purchase. $100 would help 🙂
Well, since I'm pregnant as well, I would buy some new workout clothes (in a bigger size)! I loved your post and congrats to you on your achievements!
I would buy some cool-weather running gear, because I always end up running in sweatshirts. They're so bulky!
I'd buy a TRX if you can get it at Dicks. (I'd have to shell out an additional $50 but it's worth it!)
Hmm, learned most- That you CAN learn to like healthy foods and that you CAN learn to love exercise. Before, when I was really large, I didn't think that it was possible. Now I know that it is.
Thanks for the B&A.
Great post! I would buy accessories for my bike and some cool camping stuff and some cute new workout clothes…and I'm already over the $100!
I would buy yoga stuff at Dick's so I can work on my flexibility. Love the trampoline picture, by the way!
The cutest baby I've ever seen!
I had baby #3 one month ago today, and right now I am counting down the days 'til I can go for a run. It's my stress reliever, and having a 3 year-old, a 15 month old, and a newborn definitely creates a lot of stress. So, from Dick's, I'd buy myself some new running clothes to further motivate me to get back on the road!
I am a compulsive exerciser too – you're blog inspires me!! At Dick's I would use $100 toward new workout clothes – I never buy 'nice' workout gear for myself – it would be so nice to wear something besides old t-shirts and cut-off sweat pants…
I would get a Bosu ball and work on my awful balance. They cost $99at Dicks (I've checked it out before)and I think it would actually get used when I watch tv.
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