Cowboy’s Football Stadium Redefines Irony

by Charlotte on August 28, 2009 · 16 comments

Alanis Morissette may have thought irony was 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife but that is only because the Dallas Cowboy’s new football arena hadn’t been built yet. This $1.2 billion, tax-payer funded, state-of-the-art stadium includes all the amenities. The crowning glory is a 160 x 90 ft HD video board that hangs right over center field.

The problem? Your average NFL kicker can punt a football right into that sucker, something that happened at least 6 times in the warm-up alone. Jerry Jones, the owner, isn’t worried though:

“If you look at how you punt the football, unless you’re trying to hit the scoreboard, you punt the ball to get downfield. You certainly want to get some hangtime, but you punt the ball to get downfield, and you sure don’t punt the ball down the middle. You punt it off to the side.”

“How high is high if somebody just wants to sit there and kick straight up?”

I don’t play football. Heck I’m not even going to pretend I watch it. (I used to mortify my husband when we attended college football games by bringing a book. What? Have you seen how many time outs they have in that game??) But this amuses me so much I just might start now.

I love me a good sports irony.

Anyone else have a good ironic sports moment to share?

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Gena August 28, 2009 at 3:38 am

Jerry Jones is an idiot. I grew up in DFW, I can say it. Also, I bring knitting to sporting events. Embarasses the hell out of the husband.


bjbella5 August 28, 2009 at 4:03 am

Too funny, I actually look forward to football season. I enjoy watching games on tv and live. Although the tv time outs bug me too.

My husband and I were just talking about this stadium. Someone he knows tried to get tickets there and found out it would be $600 ($300 each) for middle of the road tickets. That is just outrageous!

Go Bears!!


Joshua August 28, 2009 at 11:28 am

I think I just found my new best friend in bjbella5. Go Bears, indeed. I grew up in North Chicago and am a die hard Cubs fan. I'm not huge football fan, but will watch it every so often, especially when I can watch Da Bears.

My wife and I used to live in Dallas when she was in grad school, and my parents still live there. Qualifier: we are die hard Chicago fans because we are from there; my mom was transferred to Texas in 1997; still, you don't just switch teams like that. I was never a Cowboys fan. One of my favorite jokes is the one about being a fan of two teams, The Bears and whoever's playing Dallas.

I never did like Jerry Jones, but if that's how they want to spend the money, have at it. I just wonder when the citizens' whose tax dollars have partially paid for the stadium will rise up as one and slay him for it.

That said…I want that screen. And if I can afford the screen, I can afford to deepen my basement to fit it; movie theatre stadium seating style where it starts at normal depth and slopes downward.

As you can see, I've thought about that way too much.

The Technical Parent


Marste August 28, 2009 at 12:37 pm

*giggle* That's hilarious. I wonder how long it'll take before someone breaks it?

As for sports, I have no moments to share, ironic or otherwise – I'm not a big sports-watcher.

But can I just say that Alanis song always bugged me? Because the ONLY THING ironic in that WHOLE SONG was the guy who was afraid to fly and died in a plane crash. Everything else just sucked, but it was NOT ironic. (I always hoped she was so smart that she wrote the song that way on purpose – to be ironic. That would make me laugh. And she seems like a smart lady, so maybe . . . ?)

Um. Like Joshua, I've obviously given the subject WAY too much thought,LOL. (I know, different subject, but same "too-much-thought-ness." ;D)


Crabby McSlacker August 28, 2009 at 12:40 pm

I also think it's funny that people pay a fortune to go see a game live and then have to watch the game on giant monitors because most seats are crappy and you see things so much better on tv.

I like to watch football, but only when my team is doing well, and being a 49ers fan that means I haven't seen much since the 80's.


VaMomof2 August 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Sorry – no good ironic sports stories (I do not watch and my husband would much rather play anything than watch it – gotta love that man). Anyway, can someone explain this cartoon? Is he looking for pants or do I just need more coffee?


MizFit August 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

my sports irony moment? the husband announced last night he wants to DRIVE to dallas and spend thanksgiving in aforementioned ironic stadium.


whats that you say?

thats not irony?



it IS if my irony you mean LUDICROUS (wink) which I do.


Shellie August 28, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Every year my poor red neck high school played the well-to-do private, recruiting prep school in the playoffs in their fancy stadium with the astroturf. Every year they sent us home losers.

My Junior year, we were down 0-21 at the half. Then due to 3 unbelievable fumbles on the other team's part, the game was tied and went into overtime. With seconds left to go, our kicker (who couldn't hit that HD TV if his life depended on it) was up to kick a field goal. It was a kick on par with my 6 year old's flag football team. It barely cleared the defensive team's heads, (I think I remember it hitting the goal post) and barely cleared on the other side – giving us the points to win the game.

Even though I was at the game, I recorded it on TV and replayed that kick. If even one defensive lineman would have put up his hand he could have blocked it. I think if someone stood up, the ball would have hit him in the head. But that made the victory that much more sweet.


Dr. J August 28, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Football is a religion where I live, and right now the Mighty Gators are sitting at the holy gate!


Therese August 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm

In the south Football is religion. I knew what a blitz was by the time I was five years old. My hubbie played college football and we got engaged at a Bears/Giants tailgate.

We were watching this game in awe….how stupid can they be???

I'm with bjbella5 and Joshua. GO BEARS :)


azusmom August 28, 2009 at 3:32 pm

I'm just waiting for a big ol' chunk o' hale to fall through the hole in the ceiling and smash that screen to bits.
I'm not a Cowboys fan, lol!
(But, seriously, in a time when everyone is tightening their belts, financially, couldn't the organization have put the money spent on that screen toward lowering ticket prices?)


Merry August 28, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Um… football is the one where guys wear shoulder pads and black eye shadow under their eyes, right?

Shouldn't they get extra points for hitting the TV screen?


Quix August 28, 2009 at 5:14 pm

I don't get the whole football thing. It was nice to see my friends over the summer but a lot of them I won't see again until February because they're such big football fans. Oh well. :)

And I bet those TVs last about 3 games…


Erika August 28, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Actually, Martse, the part about the man who was afraid of dying in a plane crash actually dying in a plane crash isn’t ironic, either. Dude just had ESP! What would’ve been ironic is if he traveled by train to avoid dying in a plane crash, and was killed by a plane crashing into his train. Although maybe it was ironic that it took his death by plane crash to finally free him of his fear of death by plane crash. (Oh, snap! I just made a logic fractal!) If there’s some cosmic irony that shapes our life events, though, just know, Cosmos, that I’m buying a Mega Millions ticket this evening for the sole purpose of NOT winning the big jackpot. But I wouldn’t be opposed to you ironicizing me!


Nathalie August 28, 2009 at 8:17 pm

Have you ever heard of the Montreal Olympic Stadium? The whole thing is one big joke here. It was build to have a retractable roof and cost over $1.5 billion Canadian, but said roof is always broken and was replaced at least 3 time. Over the years, it got stuck open, it got stuck closed, it caught fire, a large piece of it fell on the field during a game, another on a walkway, it collapsed because of snow and ice, it got ripped or leaked so many times…


Georgia September 9, 2009 at 12:25 pm

ROFLMAO due to Erika's comment.


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