Things That Make Me Go Barf


Fish, meatballs, strong cologne, my two-year-old’s poopy diapers and even my beloved SweeTart jellybeans have all made me vomit this pregnancy. But would you like to know the number one thing guaranteed to bring on the waves of nausea? The smell of my own sweat. I know. For a girl who gets sweaty at least six times a week, that’s a problem.

At first I couldn’t figure out why the nausea is worse at the gym than other places – usually if anything it’s the meat and seafood counter at the grocery store which sends me running… to the coffee aisle, which is strange because while I’ve never drank the stuff (I’m LDS so it’s against my religion) I find the smell of coffee very soothing. But while I was lifting weights with the Gym Buddies on Monday (side note: as part of our weight routine, we did the Self mag “Get a Wow Booty Now!” routine. It sucked. While it was high on the entertainment factor – you have got to see these moves, they’re hilarious – only one move out of the entire 8 actually caused any burn in our booties.) my shirt puckered and I got a whiff of eau du Charlotte. I don’t know if pregnancy has changed my personal scent or if I’m just more aware of it now but holy crap do I smell bad. I apologized to Gym Buddy Allison who was spotting me. She gave me a funny look and said she couldn’t smell me.

I wear deodorant. (And yes, I’ve tried clinical strength types. They might help – if I could smear them on my entire body.) I shower every day. Usually. I launder my clothing, including all my gym duds. And yet I reek to the point I make myself hurl. Scientists say that breaking a sweat easily and often, while irritating in our perfect-pits-obsessed culture, is actually a sign of good health. Which is good because I am one sweaty betty. Before, my ability to soak a t-shirt was more of a party trick but these days it has serious consequences. And not just at the gym. The other night I actually woke myself up because – oh yes – my pajamas smelled like B.O. My b.o. I had to change my shirt or risk midnight puke-age and nobody likes puking alone at midnight (a fact that has led to not one, not two, but three puke stains on the carpet right next to my side of the bed, courtesy of my wee ones). Upon recounting this episode to a good friend she consoled me with, “Oh it’s not just you! My husband wakes up every morning smelling like he slept in a cocoon of farts. It’s why I refuse to snuggle with him until he showers.” I’m likened to a man wrapped in a fart cocoon. Awesome.

You know what else is awesome? Sarah Haskin’s take on the deodorant industry:

(For those reading this post in readers or via e-mail, click thru to see the video – it’s worth it, I promise!)

Hit me up in the comments with your sweat woes! Do you leave a puddle on the floor at the gym? Hate perfumed deodorant? Refuse to wear deodorant a la Mathew McConaughey? Wear perfume to cover up the fact you haven’t showered? (Please, please say no to the last one!)

39 Comments

  1. I thought I couldn’t sweat for the longest time, and figured out that I wasn’t working out hard enough, and also that my face flushes to rosacea levels, which is just as uncharming as sweating.

    Now that I’m more fit, I do sweat, but not too profusely. However, it can be smelly, although I shower or take a bath daily. I use powder, perfume, or natural deodorant under my arms, depending on the time of year and how much I’ll sweat.

    I hope the comments on this post don’t make you sick 🙁

    BTW, that was a great video–totally worth it! And this post was hilarious–made me laugh out loud!

  2. I sweat from the weirdest places. Like my elbow pits. Is that what they’re called? Regardless, I find them DRIPPING while I’m running or on the elliptical.

    I’ve also worn the same scent of antiperspirant for like 10 years. If they ever stop making it I’m going to be so lost. They did change the scent formula slightly recently and the first time it kicked it and mixed with my sweat I couldn’t figure out what I was smelling.

  3. I sweat from the weirdest places. Like my elbow pits. Is that what they’re called? Regardless, I find them DRIPPING while I’m running or on the elliptical.

    I’ve also worn the same scent of antiperspirant for like 10 years. If they ever stop making it I’m going to be so lost. They did change the scent formula slightly recently and the first time it kicked it and mixed with my sweat I couldn’t figure out what I was smelling.

  4. I sweat from the weirdest places. Like my elbow pits. Is that what they’re called? Regardless, I find them DRIPPING while I’m running or on the elliptical.

    I’ve also worn the same scent of antiperspirant for like 10 years. If they ever stop making it I’m going to be so lost. They did change the scent formula slightly recently and the first time it kicked it and mixed with my sweat I couldn’t figure out what I was smelling.

  5. Once in a blue moon I can smell my sweat, not too often. It must be a hormonal thing.

  6. I can totally relate to your post! I sweat buckets at the gym & leave puddles, dribbles & all as I go.. and yes, I smell, I smell myself & like you, I don't like it! I do not glow, I sweat! My husband evens runs the other way after my workouts!

    I use the Clinical strength formulas as well & they are better than before but still does not help me in total.. still sweat & still smell, just not as bad as before but enough to "make a statement"!

    I hear they do Botox in the armpits now for people who have really bad sweating probs! I saw it somewhere on the cable TV!

    So, wish I could offer up some constructive help but I am in the same boat. Good thing I work out when not very many people are around!

  7. I think it’s a pregnancy thing. I don’t sweat a lot, but then I don’t workout as hard as I should either, but when I’m pregnant that changes. I sweat in different places and it has a different smell. I once asked my doctor about it and they told me it was hormones. I’m guessing your just ultra sensitive because you’re in your sick stage of pregnancy, and you probably are just picking up the new scent you get to carry around for another 6 or 7 months. Don’t worry though, you’re likely to be the only one who notices the smell. 🙂

  8. Oh girl! I remember feeling the same way. I have my own personal theory, that women get sick when they are pregnant because of sensory overload via a hormone induced hyper-drive-sniffer. I could smell a co-workers bag of fritos down the hall (which sent me running for the bathroom)!

    And oh ya, I am a sweaty stinky workout girl. I feel for the folks who have the misfortune to workout next to me.

    Those moves from the Self Wooty Booty are hilarious. As someone lacking in the booty dept. I take great pride in having a well designed booty workout, (and there are a few I will NEVER do at the gym). But even the model looks ridiculous doing those!

  9. Oh my gosh, I sweat buckets at the gym! If I didn’t have towel during spin classes I would have a huge puddle around me. I use clinical strength deoderant/antiperspirant and it does help a bit.

  10. This reminds me of my roommate at college. She didn’t wear deoderant for some unknown reason and she smelled BAD. And she never wore socks so her feet smelled bad, too. One day I needed to get some more deoderant and I suggested to her that she should come shopping with me. She informed me, “Oh. I’m okay. I use baby powder!” What???

    I never really liked that roommate for reasons other than just that she smelled bad. But I think that was the biggest reason. Gross.

  11. as a Bikram addict, I sweat a lot. I tend to notice the smell most when I accidentally wear a piece of Bikram exposed clothing in a another workout setting where people don’t look like they went swimming. Oh and when I open up the protective bag that I carry my clothes home in. gross. I swear by degree men’s deodorant. No women’s deodorant does the trick even clinical strength. also oxiclean on the clothes helps.

  12. Watching and Weighting

    I’m glad to know uber-sweatiness is a sign of health! One of the things that freaks me out the most is during sessions with my trainer and I lie on the floor to do whatever exercise and when I get up there’s an ACTUAL OUTLINE of me on the floor, in sweat. nice!

    Haven’t yet made my self hurl with my own sweat yet though! That’s a delightful turn of events ! 🙂

  13. HILARIOUS VIDEO!!!

    THanks for the laughs.

    Love,

    Sweaty McSweatsAlot (during cardio. always always deod. always “fresh scent”)

  14. That must be so frustrating!

    I definitely sweat, but not being pregnant, it doesn’t tend to smell funky as long as I keep up with laundry and showers.

    Old sweat is different though–and trying to squeeze and extra day out of a workout top is pushing it. Sometimes I’ve been known to go for a run outside with no one else around not wearing the freshest top, and it’s only me who gets subjected to the fact that I stink.

    Hope this barfy thing gets better soon!

  15. What’s more embarrassing for me than a completely sweated-through shirt is the “i look like I wet myself” sweatstain in my ass/crotch!

    A few years ago, I started using an antiperspirant that I found online, and it totally stopped my sweating from my pits. Totally. Of course, my body still needs to sweat, so I get “compensatory sweating” elsewhere (hence the swamp ass). It’s funny when my shirt is soaked from the sweat coming off my head/neck/chest, but under my arms, it’s completely dry.

    To the previous poster Erin, I also sweat profusely from my elbow pits when I run! I wipe them more than I wipe my brow!

  16. I don’t really sweat that much, my back usually gets a little moist and my head starts to itch. the worst is when I tan after working out then I really stink…BAD! My friend said the same thing, it must be the burning sweat..ewww

  17. HAHAHA, I went for a run the other day and didn’t feel like showering so I put deodorant on to run to the store (I was planning on going outside again once I got home). Luckily it was a cool morning when I ran, but I still sweat and I still go the same comment that I get from my husband after every sweat session “You smell!” I wish I could say it was said with a smile, but it was more like a grimace. Hope I didn’t make you sick! 🙂 I did hear that using rubbing alcohol has the same effect as deodorant…but I somehow don’t think deodorant is too expensive to warrant trying this.

  18. I do not sweat very much. Take yesterday for example, I ran for 30 minutes at a pace of about 5.0 mph and not a drop of sweat, except for a few drops on my elbows. It amazes the hubby who sweats a ton – like really gross sweating. I always make him shower immediately post workout.

    I am sorry that your “scent” is making you sick. I agree with the other comments, it is probably the hormones and nobody else even notices it.

  19. I sweat a moderate amount. It only bothers me if I skipped a shower. Thus I’ve been known to shower before and after a workout.

    Degree for women does the trick.

  20. Haha, when you take girl commercials out of context they seems so much more… insidious and destructive!
    Weeee!

    I have always been a profuse sweater. I grew up in a desert (not dessert, alas, though that would have been AWESOME!) and always had pit stains. My sweat always had a sort of bitter grapefruity smell to it, though now that I’m older and I drink actual water instead of just gallons of Diet Coke it is virtually odorless.

    Though I’m sure pregnant women would disagree.

    Also, I think the other day when I was running hard, my ponytail might have been flinging sweat towards the people who were running next to me as it swished back and forth. THAT was mortifying. I guess I have to bun it from now on.

  21. Oh! I almost forgot — when I was a pit-soaker, I used lady deodorants and had to change every 6 months because they would just STOP working. I also tried that prescription liquid you put on your underarms to reduce sweating.

    When I got married, my husband used this unscented deodorant from clinique made for men. I didn’t want my girl scents to bother him, so I started using his unscented boy deodorant. It’s been almost 5 years and it is the best deodorant I have ever ever ever used. No need to switch and no more pit-soaking unless I’m at the gym. Yay!

  22. Not Your Average Mom

    Okay now that I have stopped laughing, two things:
    1. I don’t sweat. Well, actually, that is a lie – I DO sweat, but barely. I do stink sometimes though. Does this mean I am unhealthy??
    2. Just typing the words ‘fart cocoon’ sends me into a fit of laughter all over again. Man, I have been a firsthand witness to the gut-wrneching power of my hubby’s fart cocoon.
    Thanks for another great post…
    T

  23. I sweat quite a bit working out and also get very red in the face – especially when running – people stare – really, they do. That said, it doesn’t really smell. I shower at night, work out in the morning and only wash my face and neck and then tend to get caught up in the day (I work from home so no one else is there to be grossed out). Sometimes when I sweat alot (like in the sauna or in Bikram Yoga) I feel like I sweat out all the yuck and end up sweating out clean water – seriously, I don’t even feel sticky (I do still shower, and always pretty soon after those 2 activities). I expect that your hormones are changing the smell of you sweat and then pregnancy is making you super sensitive to smells. Hope it passes quickly –

    p.s. I can’t wait to show that video to my daughters tonight – we often laugh at how they market items to men vs. women.

  24. My mouse pad has that purse picture on it 🙂

    It doesn’t make me barf, but passive cigarette smoke gives me a headache in seconds 🙁

  25. Just keep reminding yourself that it will go away after the baby is born….

    I must be unhealthy. Used to get “dewy” occasionally, but rarely sweated up.
    I sweat more now, due to menopause, than I ever did. Sigh.

  26. Lethological Gourmet

    I definitely sweat, and depending on the workout, it can be quite a lot. Thankfully, my sweat doesn’t stink too badly. I can go to boxing class (kicks my ass completely), then put on Tom’s deodorant (I like it because it’s natural and doesn’t have aluminum in it) and go back to work. I’ll only take a shower after a lunch workout if I need to go somewhere after work and look nice.

    This also means that I can wear the same workout pants for two weeks at a time (anywhere from 2-8 wears in that period) and it doesn’t smell too bad, except in the crotch area (and unless my cat gets too friendly, the smell’s not going to be noticed) from the swamp crotch syndrome another poster mentioned.

    Maybe I’m deluding myself, but I’ve never had anyone mention I smell, so maybe I just got the lucky genes. I did notice, however, that the jacket that I was wearing after my workouts (dry clean only, damnit) started to smell like old BO, so I had to take that to the cleaners.

  27. I read somewhere that pregnancy can make you more sensitive to smells.

    So really, you probably don’t smell that bad.

  28. it’s funny that this didn’t happen to you during your other pregnancies. another thing to chalk up to the hormones! even though it must be really annoying—it’s really ironic that your own sweat is bothering you. it’s theorized that a woman’s sense of smell is heightened during this time to help protect the baby–eating right and avoiding things harmful (germs, bacteria..)anyway, there are plenty of internet forums out there of women talking about the smell thing while pregnant, and this website
    http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/symptoms-and-solutions/heightened-smell.aspx

  29. It’s probably just that your sense of smell changes when you get pregnant, so that’s why you think you smell especially bad. I’m sure you’re just a regular smelly-ness when you sweat! Hehe.

    Aikido practice is from 6-8pm, and my friends ALWAYS want to hang out immediately afterward. I’m surprised they still invite me out because I must smell so bad…

  30. (LOVE Sarah Haskins!!!!!!)
    Yesterday at Bikram sweat dripped into my eyes, right into my contacts. It stung, lol!! For a few minutes I actually considered wearing an 80’s-style, Olivia Newton-John “Physical”-type headband. Scary.
    Anywho, it may be that the only cure for your pukiness is time. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks your symptoms will subside. Sorry I don’t have any useful advice!

  31. My hubby plays hockey. You’ve never smelled anything worse than an old hockey bag or old hocky pads. I thought I was going to lose it the first time I dug out clothes for the wash. It’s probably not you … it’s the pregnancy! When I was preggo, it was the smell of printer ink. Making copies made me sick, and I had a boss who couldn’t make copies for herself. It was a joy, I tell you. Sorry you have to go through this!

  32. I sweat up a storm, which has been especially sweet with my hand wrapped in an absorbent post-surgical gauze cocoon.

    PS I cannot believe you have that Frankie Say Relax shirt… and that Alyssa used to have it. Crazy!!

  33. Okay, I’m Polish and I work out a lot, so I sweat. And because I work out so much, my body is very efficient at cooling itself off. By sweating. On my five minute walk to work.

    The only thing I’ve found to mitigate it are the Silverescent tops from Lulu Lemon. Yes, they’re painfully expensive and going into the stores makes me want to punch someone, but their clothes last longer than the cheaper exercise gear I buy from Target. The Silverescent stuff makes it possible for me to go to the store after boxing class and not trail visible stink-lines through the produce section. It’s really pretty amazing, actually, considering how much I sweat and how bad it stinks.

  34. When I work out, I look like a wet tomato, in the worst possible way. (Is there a best way?) Oddly enough though, if it’s really hot out I sweat LESS – because I overheat so fast. (Or do I overheat because I sweat less? Chicken? Egg? Chicken? Egg? The world will never know.) Either way it’s a pain in the butt: either I’m soaking wet and bright red (I’ve had strangers ask me if I was ok), or I’m bright red after about 5 minutes on the treadmill (which is a whole different sort of embarrassment).

    Ok. I promise to stop abusing the parentheses now. 😉

  35. I sweat a ton when I work out, but fortunately can’t really smell it. The main problem is with the underarms in everyday life. I’m always cold, but my underarms constantly produce sweat. I will (hopefully) soon be getting botox injections in my pits to stop the sweating. I am the MOH in a wedding this summer…in a light blue dress (eg sweat stains WILL show).

  36. I smell awful when I run outside, but I don’t think I smell when I run inside. It’s like the sun changes my sweat? And as long as I’m working hard, I’m pouring sweat. And I love it.

    Hopefully your nausea goes away soon. 🙂

  37. Emma Giles Powell

    Okay, so my husband is a total nerd and decided to use some electro-shock therapy for sweaty feet. Two pans of water, one for each foot, with an electrode in each attached to a big battery. A dash of salt, and I get to watch him squirm for a quarter hour. The best part is, if this works I get to watch him try it with sponges for underarms. My life rocks, but I love him. At least he’s not functionally illiterate. I’ll keep you posted in case you want to give it a try, you nerd in almost hiding. Maybe it’ll be good fodder for a body-mutilation-modification post follow up. Or maybe I should have posted this comment in the “other” category of your tattoo post.

  38. Comment from my trainer last session: “Your body has a REALLY EFFICIENT cooling system doesn’t it?!”

    Uh huh. What gave it away – the fact that even my EARS sweat?

  39. Your (really interesting) post was rolling around in my head and I was reminded of those pheromone/sweat-smelling psychology studies. You know, the ones where women prefer the smell of men who are genetically dissimilar to themselves.

    I did some digging and found a link (paragraphs 8-10):
    http://www.perriconemd.com/category/dr.+perricone/case+studies/pheromones.do

    The study suggests a link between smelling those dissimilar-to-self pheromones and positive self-esteem in women.

    Maybe your own pheromones make you feel disgust (the opposite reaction) when your pregnancy hormones heighten your sensitivity?

    -AT