We who roam in health and fitness circles hear a lot about good diets and bad diets, not to mention the sheer number of blinky punch-the-monkey badvertisments touting The Best Diet EVAH! that we are subjected to on a daily basis. But did you know that researchers have examined all the diets out there and crowned the worst diet ever?
In a society that has embraced everything from the Banana Diet (eating only bananas and lukewarm water for breakfast) to the Banana Bag Diet (no food, just nutrients in an IV drip) to the Bananas are Satan Diet (a.k.a. Atkins), you’d think it would be hard to choose the worst diet ever. But intrepid researchers from Duke University have taken on humanity’s plight as their own and examined them all. So who took the rhinestone tiara? The Cabbage Soup Diet.
That sound you just heard was my brain grinding gears. Um, what? The researchers claim that the Cabbage Soup Diet is the worst because it is so deficient in protein (no mention of the bruises suffered from people being physically ejected by their partners from bed after bubbling the covers with their nocturnal emmissions). Which I can kind of understand. I mean wasn’t the Gulag sort of the ultimate human experiment in surviving on the broth of flatulent vegetables? It certainly didn’t promote health.
But the worst diet ever? At least the Cabbage Soup Diet incorporates an actual vegetable. I would like to nominate my own suggestion for Worst Diet Ever: The hCG diet.
hCG stands for human chorionic gonadotrophic hormone which for people not intimately acquainted with uteruses, is otherwise known as the pregnancy hormone. I was orginally introduced to this hormone when I experienced my first miscarriage. Drawing blood, the lab can do a count of your hCG levels – which in a normal pregnancy will double every 24 hours. In a miscarriage it stays stagnant or falls. It’s important because it is the hormone that tells the fetus to grow.
In the hCG diet, the orginator Dr. Simeon instructs you to inject this hormone (sometimes via the urine of pregnant women) into yourself every day for 23 days. In addition to the funfunfun of daily injections, the diet asks you to gorge on all the fatty food you can for the first two days to make sure “your fat cells are filled to max capacity.” Starting with the third day you are to eat only 500 calories a day and have no sugar or starch of any kind until you finish out the injections. The claim is that the hCG will suppress your appetite so much that you will no longer care that you are only eating 500 calories a day.
Now, if the description alone isn’t enough to warrant the Worst Diet Ever title, here is some additional evidence:
– Clinical studies on hCG have shown no measurable effect on weight loss or fat loss when compared to a placebo.
– The main proponent of this diet, infomercial guru Kevin Trudeau, who has already been jailed for fraud, now has a federal injuction against him and the diet.
– The original book, Pounds & Inches by Dr. Simeon, is being investigated by the Federal Trade Commission for deceptive advertising.
So you are on a starvation diet with no carbs developed by known hucksters plus you have to inject yourself daily with urine. See? Worst diet ever!
Do I win?? Any other nominations for the Worst Diet Ever? What’s the worst diet you’ve ever tried? (And no, I have never tried this one nor will I ever consider doing an Experiment on it so don’t ask.)
When I was 12, my mom put me on Nutri-System. It wasn’t a horrible diet. The food was okay, but what 12 year old wants to bring pre-packaged “diet meals” to school for lunch…in the 6th grade?!?
I confess that I really like the taste of the cabbage soup.
My vote would go to (surprise!) Kimkins. All thse people eating as low as 300 calories a day and encouraging each other to go even lower if they ‘stall’ for a couple of days. Egg white challenges. Diet coke fasts. Daily laxative use. Nutritionally bankrupt + eating disorder coaching = worst diet ever (so far!).
Maybe I am going to philosophical here, but my vote for the worst diet ever is any diet that does not promote a sustainable life change.
If it cannot be maintained for the rest of your life is just is not a good diet as far as I am concerned.
Though, I must admit, having a hormone from a pregnant woman injected in me does rank as pretty bad among the group of unsustainable diets! 🙂
Hmm the cabbage soup diet doesn’t actually look that bad… especially days 5 and 6 that have beef. Though, the diet doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason with the seemingly arbitrary daily restrictions. Who comes up with these diets anyway?
(and the linked article doesn’t mention Duke researchers anywhere that I could see–it looks like one person’s opinion)
Ick. hCG sounds terrible. And all you need to do is add Kevin Trudeau’s name to anything, and it’s pretty much untouchable. If that guy showed up at my door and tried to give me $100, I’d assume the money was counterfeit.
There are so many horrible diets out there that it’s hard to choose just one. I think a more useful exercise is to look at what foods all the popular diets have in common, and focus on consuming those (veggies, fruits, fish factor into most diets) and it’s useful to ask why a diet avoids a certain food and if that reason makes any sense.
I think the HcG diet was something my mom’s friend was on! She lost a ton of weight in her “waste” (pun intended), and it all transferred to her butt and thighs. That woman has some serious junk in her trunk now. Weird.
Well, now I think I have officially heard them all. ICK!
I agree with Benjamin. I’ve never really been on a “diet,” though I briefly (as in for maybe a couple weeks) tried Metabolife when I couldn’t just realize that maybe all that weight I’d gained had nothing to do with food and the fact that I was consuming hundreds (thousands?) of calories everyday from booze. I stopped drinking regularly and the weight fell off. Without the Metabolife. Seriously, I don’t think I knew there were calories in booze. Seriously.
If I tried to eat 500 calories a day, I would make it … about 4 hours. I eat 500 calorie breakfasts. I could not do one day like that.
I think the worst diets are those that are supplemented with crazy shakes, pills, formulas, etc. You know the ones, where real food is not an option so all nutrition must be taken in powder mixed with water form?
I did nutrisystem, tasted decent, gave me horrible shakes and low blood pressure that left me unable to workout. Pointless.
You know, I’ve been on that fart diet and I would agree with you hCG is pretty bad.
Heather-sorry to hear that your mom put you on a diet when you were twelve.
I am appalled at the description of that diet alone!
I agree with Benjamin Teal on this one, a diet should be a controlled, sustainable moderation of food intake, rather than a short term fix in order for it to last.
OH MY GOD, Charlotte that is without a doubt the worst diet I have heard of!! (Unless your commentors can prove otherwise! :))
I still have yet to actually do a “Diet” or any planned form. Oh actually I did try using Gillian McKeith’s ideas for a bit, seemed fine – lots of seeds, stuff like quinoa and fish, and tons of vegetables. I thought I was doing fine until I nearly fainted at work!! The lads I worked with brought me for an Irish breakfast and I devoured a huge plateful of bacon, sausages, eggs, and mounds of toast!! Didn’t try that again… 🙂
Oh just to clarify, it’s not like the quinoa, fish etc. wasn’t good, it was fine, I just don’t think I was eating enough of a variety! 🙂 I remember feeling so weak and all I had to keep me going were some sunflower seeds… 🙁
WOW – That’s really bad!! I don’t have much experience with the dieting thing, but all of these diets sound horrible!
I don’t think the cabbage soup is anything like the worse! My lodger eats practically NO protein (as do a lot of my vegan friends) and he’s in great shape.
What about that nutso diet Beyonce did with the maple syrup and nothing else? Surely that’s far more devoid of nutrients than any of ’em?
TA x
What about the Supermodel Diet (diet coke, cocaine, cigarettes, and tanning)?
Although the thought of injecting myself with urine made me throw up in my mouth a bit.
Isn’t HcG the hormone that makes me throw up constantly while pregnant???? Nuff said.
I thought you were kidding with the hCG diet!!!
The rhinestone tiara and plastic sceptor totally go to that whack job.
I’ve never had the self-discipline to go on any particular “diet” other than one of my own devising–which was really more about portion control and trying to make somewhat healthier food choices.
Oh wait, there was the time in high school I tried to go vegetarian and lasted 2 days until I had to have a cheeseburger. I’m not good with restrictions!
But wow, that pregnancy urine one has to be one of the freakiest I’ve read about.
I think the worst is “the corned beef and cabbage soup diet”. Once you start there is no weight loss involved as you have a desire for beer and limericks.
I have to agree with TA, that maple syrup/lemon juice concoction that Beyonce drank has to be the worst diet ever! Absolutely no nutrition and it sounds like it tastes horrible!!
Eek. That’s a scary diet. My auntie had several miscarriages before finally being able to give birth to the twins a couple months ago, but thank goodness there was none of that crazyness of dieting type stuff going on.
Diets in general are awful. But this one that you’re talking about is definitely one of THE worst I’ve ever heard of!
Without question – hCG diet takes the title of WORST DIET EVER, if for no other reason than injecting pregnant female urine, well it’s just not my bag baby. No, I prefer, actually, I will ONLY inject the urine of non-pregnant women. Sorry, call me picky, that’s how I am.
Charlotte – another great post. I;ve not been around much, but it’s clear you are still rocking the blog world – Hey The great fitness experiment makes the blogging world go round. (bad queen ref).
Cheers,
This is actually @ the post on running socks:
It’s interesting to note that in the post and all of the comments there’s no discussion of barefoot running. All these folks who have been talking about blisters and getting their feet “compressed in all the right places” are probably dooming themselves to ankle, knee, hip and back trouble when they get older (if they don’t already have it!), ruining their posture and weakening their proprioception and foot strength. No matter what Runner’s World says (look at their advertisers!), running in running shoes (or lifting heavy weights in running shoes) is just plain bad for you.
Check out this article in Sportscience: “Barefoot Running”. Or just Google “barefoot running.” Basically, there’s some scientific and lots of anecdotal evidence that running barefoot is where it’s at.
If (like me) you live in a) an urban place and b) a place that’s cold in the winter, you could try Vibram Five Fingers shoes. Not quite barefoot, but you get a lot of the benefits and don’t have to look down all the time to make sure you’re not going to cut your foot open on some glass. And if you want to get some funky socks that were designed for athletes, check out injinji.com.
I don’t do much steady-state running anymore (my fitness goals right now are mostly about getting stronger and more explosive, so that kind of exercise would be about the biggest waste of time possible for me short of watching TV 18 hours a day), but the Five Fingers are great for the gym or for the sprinting and hill runs I do outside. Not to mention walking my dogs, taking out the trash, etc. I still haven’t worked up the courage to wear them to the grocery store or out and about because they’re pretty out there-looking, but I’m so glad I have them for training.
Anyhow, this blog seems like a place that’s just fantastically open-minded about fitness stuff, and it seems like the readership is pretty open-minded, too. Maybe you could try a barefoot running (or Five Fingers running) experiment. Just make sure you ease into it. Decades of running with your feet encased in pillows leads to some pretty weak feet and some pretty terrible running mechanics, so barefoot takes some getting used to.
Anyhow, hope somebody finds this comment useful.
I agree, the number one worst diet ever. I’d say using illegal drugs like coke, crank, etc for weight loss purposes is just as bad, but somehow, the hormone seems worse.
The worst “diet” I ever went on involved 22 credits in one semester at the university, play rehearsal at night, and feeding myself pretty much crackers and coffee because I was too busy to eat. Stupid, but not THAT stupid.
As far as I am concerned you win.
Wow, Charlotte. You win. That is WAY worse than the Cabbage Soup Diet. Yeesh.
YUCK. Yuck, yuck, yuck! People are willing to inject themselves with piss now? I just can’t imagine being able to do that even ONCE without throwing up.
What I want to know is…the pregnant women who have to donate – do they just set out little filled-up bottles outside their door? Kind of like the old milk man days…in reverse?
The lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper concoction is the staple of the Master Cleanse diet. To add support to the claim of it being the worst diet ever, let me add in the fact that during the 10 (TEN!!!!!) days of drinking nothing but the nasty beverage described above, one is also supposed to drink a couple of glasses of salt water every morning to flush out one’s system.
This basically has a violent laxative effect. A roommate once went on it, and wound up locked in the bathroom on the toilet crying her eyes out.
On the other hand, injecting oneself with wee.
I know that woman in the bad diet cartoon, really!
My mom used to do a hard boiled egg and Melba Toast diet!
Yeecchh!!!
Tricia, LOVE your description of the supermodel diet!
As for hcG and Kevin Trudeau? Yeah. Scary.
I spend a good part of my day getting rid of urine. Why would I want to put it back in?
And I just read that the “lemonade” diet (Cayenne pepper, maple syrup, etc.) slows down your metabolism so much that you end up putting on weight twice as fast when you go back to solid food.
Oy.
Yes, you may come very close with this to Kimkins.
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So, Cabbage soup was my first guess, but mainly because of all the gas that tends to accompany it.
However! After pleading your case, the hCG definitely wins. No way, no how am I injecting myself with anything unless it is required to save my life. No way, no how am I ever eating less than 500 cal/day, unless I’m seriously ill. People can be really crazy sometimes.
Oh. God. How incredibly awful.
What’s next, -IV drips- of pregnant mothers’ urine? What would that be, the Pregnant Banana Bag diet?
Benjamin Teal is saying what I always say: unless diet = lifestyle change it’s doomed to failure.
I also wanted to note that just because you’re not consuming the flesh of animals, that doesn’t mean you’re not getting protein. I get most of my protein from plant sources – beans are the largest source. I think nothing of polishing off a pound of fresh steamed soy beans (50 grams of protein or so).
–The worst diet I ever tried was perhaps confined to Salt Lake City in the early 1980’s. In high school we would make up a big bowl of diet jello (which was itself a new dumb diet thing of the time) but instead of the ordinary inclusion of slimy banana pieces—cotton balls! A whole bag.The jello coated the cotton balls so they were edible, your stomach was full, your dad wondered what the hell was going on with the plumbing. Serious gastric distress, abdominal distension, narrowly avoided intestinal damage.
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Susan
http://www.car-insurance-choices.com
I agree…the HCG diet is the worst diet ever. Some women at my wife’s work just started it. My wife told me about it and I couldn’t believe what they were doing.
People just have to have the ‘quick fix’ sometimes…even though it will be hard for them to maintain their loss.
mmm cabbage soup… mmm
Good article.
For those of you out there who can’t “GOOGLE” – hCG injections are working well for many people. I am a healthy 35-year old, educated person. I did a lot of research before starting this diet. Kevin Truduea is a fraud. His “diet” calls for all forms of colonics, and expensive supplements. With the Simeon Protocol you just eat small amounts of quality proteins, fruits and vegetables. The injections are easy to give with a small gauge insulin syringe. You do not “inject yourself with urine”. That is disgusting. This is a chemical rendition of the hormone that is found in pregnant women’s urine. hCG trigger’s the woman’s body to give up her fat stores to the fetus. When there is no fetus to give the nutrients to – excess fat exits the body. I wouldn’t have believed it either, but I did the research and tried it. I have lost 11 lbs. and I am halfway through a 23-day cycle. It’s exciting and I feel wonderful. I have plenty of energy to teach, and to take care of my family. Of course this doesn’t work for everyone. What does?