A few days ago I was lounging around in my pajamas (a pair of Target special flannel PJ bottoms and a free YMCA sweatshirt so big I could belt it and call it a dress – remember this, it will be important later) and eating a wheel of brie while paging through one of my love-to-hate fitness magazines when I came across one of the ubiquitous New Year lists. This one was “Five Healthy Must-Have Products for the New Year” – the “new you” is implied for those of you who failed Marketing 101.
Item 1 on their list was loungewear, specifically a Donna Karan “lounge dress” in gray jersey with spaghetti straps, a plunging neckline and lots of floaty layers. In addition to being chilly – seriously DK, no woman “lounges” in lingerie even if it is made out of cotton – it was a cool $200. For that kind of cash I’d expect that dress to double for a black-tie formal, my next stint as a bridesmaid and the princess ballgown that the mice and birds are going to stitch for me after they finish cleaning my kitchen.
Just like their idea of loungewear was a far cry from what real women actually lounge in, the other four items on the list were similarly extravagant, idiotic and vaguely Victoria’s Secret. But the real issue for me is that I couldn’t figure out what any of them had to do with being or getting healthy. (Point about lots of nookie being healthy duly noted, men.)
Sure a Paris Hilton nightgown makes for good reality television but how will it lower your blood pressure? Lip butter is a bonus for dry skin but unless you have psoriasis of the mouth I hardly think it qualifies as a health product. This got me thinking: there are tons of great products out there that actually do more than just lift and separate. So it is with much love I present to you Charlotte’s 5 Products For a Healthy New Year. And the best part of all of these is that they are freefreefree if you win them on my site! Not mention that you won’t have to worry about a single one of them clashing with your fuzzy knee socks.
A Giveaway A Day Keeps the Doctor Away!
Each day this week I will be featuring one of my favorite health products – each of these is something that I personally use, love and endorse. (And you all know I’ve tried some rather dubious things in the past so you can relax, these are all good ones!) I’ll announce a new product and giveaway each day and each contest will run through Friday, Jan 1st at midnight. Winners will be announced on Saturday. All you need to do to enter is to leave a comment about whatever topic I give you.
Monday’s Giveaway: The VitaMix 5200!
No this is not the crazy robot from The Black Hole, ’80’s space movie extraordinaire (Can you believe that thing was a Disney movie?), this is actually the coolest blender in creation. This blender could go head to head with that scary blender-handed hell robot and win, is what I’m saying. So ice is obviously no problem for it. It also mulches nuts, grinds grains, and makes sorbet, in addition to the 52 other healthy ways you can use it. It makes healthy cooking with whole foods much much easier. It is also the most reliable blender on the market . Singing birds and talking mice that clean up afterwards weren’t mentioned in the brochure but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they pop out of the box too.
To enter to win this sweet little kitchen machine of love, go to the VitaMix site and then leave me a comment here telling me which of the 52 ways you would use to make something healthy. It won’t get you an extra entry but if any movies involving blenders come to mind, you know I want to hear about it! And be sure to check in every day this week for other cool giveaways.
PS> Speaking of ’80’s movies, for the longest time I thought Goonies was a horror flick because of that scene where they threaten to put one of the little kids in a blender. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I figured out it was supposed to be funny. The VitaMix 5200 would never ever puree a child.