Girl 1: Ugh, do these stripes make my thighs look big? Quick, do the 3/4 Paris Hilton pose!
Girl 2: Whatevs, you can totally see my ribs. That’s why I get to wear this teeeeeeny little bra. I just hope my girls don’t get showy.
Girl 1: What I love is how it says “sportswear” and “workout” in really big letters despite the fact that we are doing nothing sporty nor working out.
Girl 2: Wait – this isn’t a casting call for The Real World: Sweaty Gym?
Girl 1: Just be glad we’re not working for Equinox. Now those girls have it bad.
Girl 3: What I love is how I’m totally standing here in a two-tone unitard that the website calls a “bodysuit”. Like that makes it sound any better.
I have a pet peeve. We have already discussed the importance of wearing clothing suited to whatever athletic activity you are participating in. Today, however, I would like to talk to you about the very real danger of using models to sell workout clothing. You see them everywhere – those long-limbed, heavily tanned and only minorly muscled beauties – in ads, websites and movies but especially in magazines. Remember how Shape made us giggle and then shake our heads so hard our false eyelashes fell off into our $4/bottle specialty water? Good times.
And not only are the “moddles” generally used to sell athletic clothing really bad at pretending to exercise, they don’t even look like they workout!
I hate seeing athletic clothing modeled by women who don’t look, well, athletic. Thankfully though there are some great companies out there now that know how to dress a woman who has some actual quad muscles covering her femur. I have long admired Athleta (check out the biceps on this lady!) and Nike Women (seriously, that is real sweat on those very real looking women!) but I have recently discovered Danskin.
Actually, they discovered me. I would like to say they read my embarrassing whine about my camel toe vs. muffin top conundrum the other day and took to heart all the suggestions from you guys that said, in essence, “Buy new workout pants already, Charlotte!!!” But actually they read my whine about how I never get to try out cool stuff like Danskin clothing. What is it they say about the squeaky wheel? At any rate, Christmas came early as I got a few pieces of clothing from the new Prima line from Danskin to try out. You will all be relieved: the pants give me neither camel toe nor muffin top and are so ridiculously comfortable that I haven’t taken them off for three days straight.
In addition to a top that actually makes me look like I have boobs – an impressive feat on its own – I am proud to show you the legs of the anonymous topless model used to show off their clothes (And when I mean topless, I don’t mean in the stripper sense. I mean literally topless. You know, a half person. I’m sure there’s a support group somewhere.):
Now this model actually looks like people I see in the gym. Girl has thighs. It’s a beautiful thing. And not just in an everything-is-airbrushed-sucks kind of way but in the very real sense that if I’m going to buy something, especially online, I need to know how it’s going to look on me and not Supermodel Barbie.
Want to try some awesome Danskin duds yourself? Tell me about your favorite piece of workout clothing and you could win this supercute pink scoopneck tee (size small). Contest runs for 48 hours! And don’t forget to head over to Kelly at Grounded Fitness for a second chance!