Honest Tuesdays, Take Two
Amidst my pondering (a.k.a. begging people more knowledgeable than I am to tell me what to do) on why it is so difficult for me to take a rest, the venerable MizFit asked me “First, why do you exercise?”
It hadn’t even occurred to me to consider that I’d be doing it for any other reason than the obvious: to get healthy. Or that people might exercise for reasons different than mine. So then, list lover that I am, I set out to enumerate my reasons for exercising. I surprised myself. (Not unlike that time I drank a full bottle of water and then realized I was wearing tights, a leotard, bike shorts, a skirt AND suspenders. And my competition was in 5 minutes. If you’re really nice to me, one day I will post the pic.)
Why I Exercise
The short, brutally honest answer: Working out is the only time I truly feel good about myself.
Low self-esteem duly noted and need for continuing therapy acknowledged, I’m moving on to the more nuanced answer.
1. It makes me feel safer. After being sexually assaulted and the ensuing court case, I went on a mission to get stronger, tougher and look as least victim-like as is possible for a girl of my proportions. I think it works. After beefing up my bi’s with pull-ups and taking up kick boxing, instead of repeat nightmares of the assault now I have repeat fantasies of head strikes and throat crushing. And in a parking lot the other night, when a man jumped in the passenger side of my door my first instinct was to scream an obscenity and throw my book at him. (Note to all of my now-panicked family and friends: it was a total accident. There were two dark colored honda accords parked side by side and it was quite dark. I scared the little green apples out of him and his wife – sitting in the almost identical car next to me – was laughing so hard she almost fell out of her car. There was much apologizing and no harm done on either side.)
2. It makes me feel saner. I am a girl of very intense emotions. (*gasp* No!) I have a lot of both anxiety and exuberance and I use my workouts as a way to temper them. Cheaper than therapy!
3. It makes me feel like a better mom. Mothering does not come naturally to me. I don’t know why. Many things in life that I wish I were really good at (hip hop dancing, rock climbing, bread baking, toe painting) do not come naturally to me. But one thing I can do is set a healthy example for my kids and show them how make eating right and exercising a priority. Hopefully I won’t go too far the other way and teach them how to be compulsive but that’s another worry for another day.
4. It makes me happy. I get a huge kick out of my experiments. I love to get really sweaty. I love the camaraderie of doing something really difficult with a bunch of other people and everyone coming out stronger for it. Plus, in the winter, I swear I get SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and exercise ameliorates mild depression.
5. My gym has free child care. If that isn’t reason enough to work out, I don’t know what is!
And of course mixed in to all that is a smidgen of post-anorexia “must work out to have permission to eat” nonsense. But thankfully those voices are getting quieter these days.
The Surprise Ending
I didn’t even notice, until MizFit pointed it out to me (not only is she a darned good personal trainer but she’s a stellar therapist as well), that everything on my list has to do with mental reasons. Not one item in my top five has to do with looking smokin’ in a bikini or even anything particularly physical (not that I would mind being a hot mama!). All of which might explain my proclivities for over exercising. After a certain point, if you are working out to look good you reach a point of diminishing returns. A less-is-more approach makes sense. You want to do the least amount of work to get the result you desire. But when you depend on exercise for psychological reasons then less-is-more only feels like crazy. The trick for me is to find other outlets that meet those needs that don’t wear my body down so much.
I’m thinking synchronized treadmill dancing. You think the gym buddies would be up for it?
You? So tell me, why do you work out? (And remember – Honest Tuesday!)
I work out because it is a good way to get out of the house and be with people. When you’ve got a lot of small kids it’s hard to go anywhere, let alone socialize. The gym makes that a little easier. And the mental health benefits 🙂
Thank you for these posts. I don’t have a problem with over exercising because I’m just getting into it and need to increase but I am a recovered anorexic and an all or nothing person that definitely is starting to love working out for how much it helps me on the mental front so it is great to read your thought process and honesty. Definitely gives me lots to think about even if my situation is different.
ooooh, Im honored (and thanks for the potty training tip).
for me it really is energy.
when I expend more I have more.
life calls. please let it be a calm day up in herre.
everywhere.
for all of us 🙂
M.
Thanks Charlotte and Mizfit. This was a very truthful, insightful post and I totally agree with everything you said in regards to your over-exercising. For me, I do get caught up in physically looking my best, so I tend to want to exercise the least amount possible. That being said, I also looove exercising because of the energy it gives me, and that afterwards i feel totally justified in sitting on my butt for the rest of the night! It makes a lazy girl feel justified, and for that, I thank it.
I love feeling strong too…and I like that I can be active and don’t have to be held back because I can’t do something like go on a long hike or bike ride with friends.
Yay exercise!
of course i work out to be healthy (i have an INTENSE fear of getting cancer) but, honestly, aside from that, my main reason for working out is to relieve stress and to look the best that I can. i spent a long time being “the really skinny girl.” Now, I want to be “the fit girl.” Its more for me to think that about myself than for others to notice it, though.
I do have a bit of “I run so I can eat” syndrome. There is a huge part of me that wants to see what being the fit girl is like instead of being the chunky girl (the opposite of Kelly T LOL). However, I get so many mental benefits from working out that I know it is not simply about weight. I feel stronger and more disciplined. I sleep better and I have more energy throughout the day. No matter what my weight is at any given moment, I won’t trade what I get from exercise.
1. I exercise because it makes me feel happier and healthier. Less grumpy and definitely less stressed out.
2. I admit to being a little vain.
3. I exercise so I can eat more (no, I’m not kidding!).
4. I run and bike because they get me out of the house and into some much needed sunlight and fresh air.
Great post!
I have a question I hope you can help me with. I am confused about shoulder exercises. I have poor posture (the computer slump), so I am trying to correct it. Any advice on exercises. I am trying rows and reverse flys, but honestyly they don’t help during the day when I am slumped over!
Similarly, I read that you should not work your front shoulders if you hunch over- is this true? I am very confused about shoulder exercises. Flys do the back shoulder. Lateral side, are overhead presses front shoulders? Should I then avoid them. Is there one comprehensive shoulder exercise? It seems like alot to have to do 3 different exercises. Sorry for such a long post, but I am looking forward to hearing your response as my “hunchback” is getting worse by the minute.
sorry about the misspellings……I was typing fast!
Hmmmm…why do I exercise?
#1- I have ADHD and I don’t want to take medicine anymore (been off the meds for 6 months!) I feel like I’m continuously driven to move. I have to sit for 8 hours each day at work and by the time I get home all I want to do is go outside.
#2- I love setting mini-goals for myself, and I’m always trying new things (mostly in the arts-and-crafts area), but certain bloggers – Charlotte – have inspired me! 🙂
#3- To feel strong.
#4- Food just tastes better when you’ve really worked your body, doesn’t it??
#5- Every July I go to my parents house (in Florida) for a whole week and my Daddy and I get up early every morning and take these long wonderful walks. The scenery is beautiful, but the company is even better. I look forward to that all year long. Last year we even saw a mother and baby manatee!!
All of your reasons resonate with me (except the child care thing b/c I’m not a mom) but there is SUCH a self-confidence/”I can protect myself” feeling that comes from regular exercise. Like, “I am Leslie, hear me roar! Don’t mess with me!” It also is a major stress reliever – I swear, I can feel my anger or angst dripping out of me as I sweat on the Gauntlet. Or breathe through yoga.
I must admit to feeling a bit of what determined2befit said – working out often allows me to not be obsessive about what I put in my muth. But that has moved from first place (in college) to a distant third.
I also would love to gather up a full-tilt Lululemon wardrobe and become a professional worker-outer. Then I could exercise for a living with my sole purpose being to look super-cute and trendy.
If i’m being honest i exercise so that i can eat probably more than i would be able to otherwise. I also exercise to have some valuable alone time, which quite often is much needed. I find that working out gives me time to solve day to day problems, i usually have an answer to something by the time i’m finished 😉
When I work out I do it for health, to feel strong, and to try to get some body shape back. But it is a struggle to get myself to do it like I should because I suffer from martyr guilt complex (I allow guilt to keep me from doing things I want/need to do and then feel like a martyr because I don’t do it) so I often have to ask my family to make me do it.
And after reading the other comments I have to ask, “Am I the only one who does not feel I have more energy after I work out?”
I’ve always had to do my workouts in the evening because after a workout I am pooped and am pretty much useless the rest of the day.
Charlotte, I’m in awe of your ability to post such soul-baring truths without a smidgen of self-pity. You really do rock. I’m sending you a big ‘ol virtual hug.
My reasons? You sure you want them all? I should have Linda Hamilton arms already from carryin’ all this baggage.
1. Running from my former fat-girl self. I was unhealthy, I was miserable, I was angry. I never want to go back there again.
2. I hate feeling incapable. Of running, of push-ups, of lifting something. My self-esteem is bruise-y. I spent so long not doing physical things because I really thought I was incapable, then I had the epiphany that I was just physically unprepared, and that could be remedied with a plan and hard work.
3. I don’t want to turn into my mom, or either of my grandmothers. Obesity, diabetes, blood clots, strokes. I say no f#$%ing way.
4. I love food. I don’t want to feel guilty about it. I’m careful most of the time but if I get the chance to eat warm creme brulee or some barbequed pork ribs, I’m going for it. Life’s too short.
I exercise because
-it is better than just sitting around
-i have to get ready for rowing in college
-soon, it will be to beat Kansas’s sorry excuse for a team
-to get nice looking legs
-to make losing weight for rowing easier
Wow – this post (and the equally brave responses) was a real eye-opener. For some reason I tend to think I’m the only person in my gym who might have anything other than “HEALTH!” as the answer to this question – and now I know I’m not alone!
I use exercise as a drug – a sedative for my anxiety, and as a kind of natural SRI for my depression. Following my eating disorder, I also use it as permission to eat (not as much as I used to though, phew). And I like a challenge – it picks up my self-esteem.
But if we’re being really, really honest here, I think a tiny part of it is getting a kick out being a little bit healthier than anyone else in my life. Smug, really. It’s a hangover from the old anorexic superiority complex, I think, and I do feel terribly guilty about it – but sometimes when my boyfriend is moaning about having to walk a step further there is a bit of me that goes “AHA! You may be able to beat me at Scrabble, but I am in better physical shape than you will ever be! Mwahaha….”
Ugh, the shame! Tell me I’m not alone??
TA x
Your list is almost identical to my own. I want so much to be strong, and it really makes me so happy.
Yesterday I discovered just how very exercise dependent I am when I slept through boot camp- I was incredibly upset and it really threw me off for the whole day. It kind of scared me how much it was affecting me.
Well, my husband says I exercise because I’ve “got a hellhound on my trail” — too bad the hellhound is ME. Unsurprisingly, Charlotte, your reasons for exercising jibe with mine to a suspicious degree (are we related?)– in addition, exercise became, at some point, a way to manage anxiety– like a meditation. It’s also an accomplishment I can always count on, a box I can check, something I completed even if I ‘failed’ at something else that day. I know, perfectionist, much? The mental -vs- physical reasons are so interesting – thanks to both of you. (also, re: shoulder exercises, Sarah — check out MizFit’s blog, her shoulder videos are great)
geekgirl stole my reasons (1,2,4) –
add to that to be a good example for my daughter so she doesnt suffer the way I did and to stay mentally sane so I dont end up depressed & crazy like I used to be.
Sarah,
One thing to do (and admittedly, this isn’t easy) is to try to correct your slumped posture. Easier said than done, right? But I used to slump and it caused back and neck problems. So now I try to make sure my shoulders are back (think proud chest), even when I’m at my computer. Also, I try to keep my head back over my neck and spine (rather than jutting forward towards the monitor, because the jutting puts a lot of strain on the neck and shoulders.
I wouldn’t say that there are shoulder exercises you should avoid, but you should definitely work the different muscles. In my classes I try to do anterior / lateral raises, bent over reverse flies, and overhead presses. There are other exercises to do, of course, but those are some good basics.
It’s always important to work the opposing muscle groups (anterior and posterior delts, for example, or back and abs). Balance is important for both strength and posture.
Sarah – interesting question about posture. Let me preface my reply by saying that I am not a personal trainer nor a kinesiologist. My thoughts on posture: it’s more a function of core and back strength than your shoulders. I would focus on building your upper & lower back along with your abs – all of that will pull you in and up. Pilates is great for these kinds of moves.
In regards to shoulder exercises though, I prefer compound movements that hit the shoulder from each angle rather than trying to isolate each different head. My fave is “chataranga” or yoga push-ups. I also love pull-ups, the clean & press, the jerk and the snatch. All of those lifts heavily engage your shoulders while also using your back, legs and arms. Good luck girl and let us know what works for you!
As far as why I exercise….
#1 I love to eat. I can’t even imagine how much I’d way if I didn’t exercise as much as I do.
#2 It makes me feel better about myself, confident in my body, and I like being strong.
#3 It boosts my energy – not necessarily that I’m really energetic after the gym (because I can often be tired), but just generally speaking. I end up bouncing around to the techno music at the bar after kickball during the flip cup match (no, Leth, that’s not healthy…doh!)
#5 Social reasons – I meet a lot of friends there. Also, if I’m having a bad day, I still have to be friendly and smile, and it makes my mood better.
#5 Financial reasons since I teach group exercise
Well, honest tuesday, and here it is. I work out to strive to be beautiful. Is that vain? Umm, I don’t have any memories of my mom telling me I was beautiful…ever. She would always support me on the fad diets growing up in middle school and high school and that is where my ed stemmed from. However, I have recouped from the ed, but I still have this desire to strive to get super fit and look beautiful so I can here it from other people. I know there is a lot more to it than that, but that is the simplified version.
I also work out to set a good example for my children, especially my daughter, to take care of our bodies in a healthy way. Lastly, I want to be able to play with my children as I and they get older and create great memories together.
Avid reader, first time reply-er. 🙂
1. I exercise because after 9 months of doing it regularly, it’s just another thing on my to do list, like going to work or brushing my teeth.
2. Just like weightinggame said, so I don’t have to be so obsessive about what I put in my mouth. I don’t do the “salad with no dressing” and “chicken, brown rice, and veggies” at every meal well.
3. I am a competitive person, and right now it’s my only competitive outlet. I’m not gunning for a promotion at work, I’m not in school anymore, it’s a way to feel like I’m competing with ME, running further, faster, and harder or lifting heavier weights with more reps each week.
4. Echoing everyone else, it keeps my mood stable and calm, I have so much energy, I can keep up with anyone, I love seeing my newly exposed muscles, staving off diabetes, heart problems, and other things related to obesity, and I just look better!
5. Though I enjoy it, it is a means to an end – I am 67.5% of the woman I once was (and that was a WHOLE LOTTA WOMAN), and I’ll keep going until I’m half the woman I was or less! 🙂 That’s the reason I started, though now even if I had nothing to lose I would still keep at it because of 1-4!
Off-topic pre-comment: with Andrew missing (I’m guessing he turned Amish and no longer has computer access), am I the only male left reading this blog? I feel… outnumbered…
Anyway, here’s a quote that I think comes relatively close to summing up my reasons for working out:
“I’ll readily admit that there’s some minor psychological flaw in just about anybody who starts lifting weights; some insecurity or weakness that requires muscular armor to either hide it, shield it, or cure it, but as therapy it’s a hell of a lot more effective and rewarding than a psychologist’s couch or a lifetime addiction to smoking, drinking, or eating comfort food.”
“The end result, aside from hopefully reaching an esthetic ideal, is often a confident, self-actualized being who carries the lessons learned in the weight room into every facet of life.”
– TC Luoma
I work out to decompress from a day at work and psych myself up to go home to my roommate and the mess she creates.
I work out to keep my depression at bay.
I work out to feel strong and sexy.
Charlotte- you’re the hottest mama I know!
Why do I exercise?
-For the social non-kid time. I love my kids, but I’m a better mom when I’ve had time to be around other women. I recently aquired a new gym buddy (I’m not good at exercising by myself) and I’ve made it to the gym nearly every weekday morning for the last month!
-Because I feel good about myself.
-Because I don’t want to hid midlife (I’m not going to admit to being in midlife yet) and realize that I’m overweight and can’t keep up with my boys or do anything else I want to do. This is probably my biggest motivator.
-Sometimes I tell people I exercise so I can eat ice cream, but that’s not really true. I eat ice cream whether I exercise or not (I’ve been making a killer (full fat) frozen yogurt in my ice cream maker…).
-Because I don’t want to just be skinny- I want to look healthy.
Oh, honest Tuesday means WE have to be honest? Dang, I thought it was a one-way deal.
I like knowing it keeps me healthy.
I like feeling smug.
I like having some muscles.
I like being lean rather than pudgy.
I like to eat… a LOT.
I like how energized I feel when it’s done.
And a lot of the time I really enjoy it, even though I almost always think I won’t.
Oh, I think everyone wishes they could do hip-hop. Luckily, the genre extends farther than spinning on your head (esp. if you’re 6’4″ like me) Check out this awesome tutorial on top-rocking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O6Uk_hAoV0
Also, if I might, I think I can add something to Charlotte’s completely right answer regarding shoulder posture Sarah.
Slumping is definitely more about posture than anything else. There are a ton of exercise you can do to loosen up your neck/shoulders/traps at works. The theory behind not working your front delts if you slouch is kind of a stretch(rimshot here). When I was in crew, they warned us about not working our chests because some guys developed their backs so much that their pecs tore. Same idea with the delts, but these are EXTREME cases. Unless you’re packing front delts like cannon balls, they shouldn’t be pulling you forward.
Charlotte is totally right on posture – strengthen your core with planks. Also, maybe do some work on your traps and mid-back so that you can support yourself better. (Bent over BB rows are awesome)
You don’t really want to neglect your front delts, because it could lead to imbalances and give you shoulder problems (potentially), but, if you don’t want to kill them in the gym – remember that any sort of press will work your front delts pretty hard.
Hope that helps! Also, try laying the long way on a foam roller to stretch out your front delts/chest/back. This will open up that area and is a great passive stretch.
checking back to see what others thought…SO INTERESTING!
Hee hee…I have the same video linked on my blog. Great minds must think alike.
Because I can…
Dr. J
Thanks for your honest answers and insights Charlotte.
Why do I exercise? (This is a great question, by the way!)
-It gives me energy
-I like seeing my body become stronger, faster, and more agile
-I do it to improve my health
-It’s “me” time; a time for me to recharge and think.
-I gotta move! I’m horrible at sitting still for long periods of time! 🙂
I finally took the time to answer this question on my blog:
http://debsdistractions.blogspot.com/2008/06/why-i-exercise.html
Thank you once again for an insightful blog. When my road first started it was all physical. I would get up in the morning, and groan about the possibility of working out. Over time it became a “it’s aight” attitude. Then it changed to “yeh, this feels good”. Then it was like “heck yes, I enjoy this muchly!”
Just like how people gain bad eating habits over time. I had broken that habit down and re-established a new routine that I thought I would have control over. As you say in so many words “minimalism” is the key. If you want the best results, take the shortest route to get where you need to go. It started physical, and in the end it became psychological. I was no longer exercising to stay fit, but staying fit to appease my “self”. At times this can be a good thing. Then sometimes it isn’t. There can always be a nice balance between the two, we just have to find it. Synchronised treadmill dancing? Now that is hawt.