There’s a grunter in my Spin class. There’s also a loud iPod singer on the track, a yeller on the weight floor, a toilet-seat sprayer in the bathroom, a gaseous runner on the treadmill, a beanie baby collector in my yoga class (who actually sets her collection up around her mat) and the girl who sings along with all the songs in my Hip Hop Class (oh wait, that last one would be me). And up until now, I never realized that something could be done about all the “quirky” folk.
Christopher Carter came up with an inventive solution to people who annoy you at the gym: knock them off their bikes. He would have stolen the guy’s lunch money too except he was wearing bike shorts and – hello – pockets! In his defense the “victim” was reputedly a total prick, screaming “you go, girl!” and grunting loudly every five seconds. According to witnesses, Carter was only acting out what everyone else in the room was imagining.
We’ve talked about gym rage before – if you don’t know if you suffer from it, take my handy quiz to find out – and anyone who spends much time in a gym has felt that familiar burn. I consider myself a pretty laid back person in this category and so none of the people listed above have truly bothered me (made me giggle, definitely). But there is one group of people who are guaranteed to make my blood boil to the point where I might actually consider giving them a swirly in the locker room: the mean girls. They are the ones who make fun of other gym-goers, point and laugh loudly, butt in line and are still emotionally arrested at 8th grade despite being old enough to abuse tanning salons and hair bleach. And there is nothing I’d like more than to grab their visible thong strap and yank. Hard.
So yeah, I know what Carter was feeling. And so did a New York jury, apparently, because they acquitted him of assault even though he confessed to “storm[ing] over to Mr. Sugarman’s bike and lifting it, crashing the back of it into a wall” before dropping it back to the ground.
I gotta admit, I can totally see this scene played out in my mind. And I giggled. There is a certain amount of satisfaction involved.
But I still can’t get on board with what he did. It was rude. Moreover, it set a bad precedent of how to deal with annoying people. Sure we’d all like to grab the Yogurt Girls by their waving spoons and shake the aspartame out of them. But we don’t. It’s called civility.
So what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done (or seen done) in retribution for a gym “sin.” Spit in Gatorade? Weights dropped on feet? Picture taken with camera phone and then blasted all over Facebook? Granny panties dropped in gym bag? Come one, ‘fess up!