Beauty is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. I realize that die-hard Princess Bride fans are firing up their e-mails at this very second to correct my misquote but I still think it applies here.
Beauty is a highly prized commodity in our society and therefore we will go to great lengths to own It or be It or even just be in the general vicinity of It. I’m not talking about plastic surgery or leg-extending or even Botox here, just the ordinary things we do so often they become de rigeur. You know, like poking yourself in the eye with a mascara wand. Do you realize that if everyone simultaneously stopped wearing mascara then all of our lashes would shrink proportionately and we’d end up at about the same place we started. But no, we must paint the hair attached to our eye lids. Future generations will cluck derisively. As they get surgical eyelash implants. Don’t even get me started on lipstick, a.k.a. tubes of lead paint that you put on the things you use to eat.
Aside to the Men
Before you men get all uppity, I have one thing to say to you: chest press. The one piece of gym equipment that is always in use on the weight floor is the chest press. And it’s not the ladies trying to fill out their sweaters (oh, if only that worked!). For some reason this is the manliest of all exercises, often to the exclusion of working one’s back or legs giving them the classic big-on-top-small-everywhere-else look. We women do not find the Quasimodo look attractive so don’t tell me you guys do it to impress us. Plus? Nose hair trimmers. Egads.
And Back to the Women
Although I will admit that women probably have a longer list of things we suffer for beauty: waxing, plucking, shaving, thong underwear and of course, stilettos top the list. High heels are a double edged sword. On one hand they shorten your Achilles tendon, cause painful bunions and keep you from running away if the situation warrants. On the other hand apparently they help build your pelvic floor muscles which are so important for many kegel-related reasons. (In the interest of full disclosure, I totally love my high heels. And I own so many and of such great height that any reasonable woman would be ashamed. Thankfully I am not reasonable.)
Even in the Gym
I’ve seen people suffer for their vanity in the gym in two main ways: inappropriate clothing choices and incorrect form. The former can remedied by reading this and adding, “invest in a good sports bra.” (It may even save your life as this quick-thinking marathoner discovered!) The latter is much more complicated as offenses range from lifting too heavy, to working out with an injury, to the classic-yet-wrong No Pain No Gain mantra professed by so many gym-a-holics.
Admit it, we’ve all done something we knew was wrong because we wanted to look purty or impressive. My list is too long to enumerate but let’s just say I’ve had more than my fair share of wardrobe malfunctions AND that trying exercises that are too difficult for me (and refusing to back down even when in over my head) is kind of my signature move.
So what’s your sacrifice for beauty?
going for a more summery look with my hair and getting a hideous shade of blonde i havent had since i was 2.
thongs (tushie sacrifice)…fab jeans (financial sacrifice)…chocolate (workout sacrifice)
Pushup bras that gouge my armpits.
Taking up smoking to look cool when I was a clueless teen. Am now two weeks smoke free and can’t believe I let the stupidity ride for so long. Vile!
I also once leapt over plant arrangement in the middle of a bar to impress a guy I fancied, and ended up smacking into the lowered ceiling and breaking my nose. It must have been hilarious to watch, but damn it hurt.
Is there an art to walking in high heels? I own many pairs but they sit in the back of my wardrobe because I just end up looking like a toddler wearing Mummy’s shoes. Rubbish!
TA x
*crickets chirrrrrping*
which has now made me realize I might need to sacrifice a little more as Ive gotten lazylazy up in herre.
no haircut in almost a year.
only wear bralettes.
cheap as hell on my jeans 🙂
Im gonna OPT for a new bra.
my armpits could use a little gouging!!
M.
Great post!
One great thing about being a married, middle-aged dyke who was never all that hot to begin with is that there’s really no pressure to look like a fooofy sexy girly girl. I really don’t have to give a crap about most of that stuff like make-up and high heels and nails and whatever it is you gals do for personal grooming that guys don’t.
Well, there is leg-hair removal. I descend from gorillas, I discovered in college when I went without shaving. Now I wax, which is mostly but not entirely pain free.
And to the extent that at least part of my strength training & interval training is about looking fit (a LOT of it is about health, but hell, I’m human) I’d say that’s probably where the pain for vanity’s sake comes in.
I do however, look at my prematurely aging skin sometimes and the dropping prices for botox injections and wonder…
I don’t feel like I make any serious sacrifices for beauty (other than my checkbook, anyway), but in a perfect world, I’d go braless and unshaven most of the time with no worry of what others might think.
Hmmm…have to say working out even when I am exhausted and not feeling too well…not very smart, I know!
Let’s see. I’ve stopped fixing my hair, stopped wearing makeup, and my idea of dressing up is to wear washed jeans and my “good” flip flops.
Apparently I’m a slob.
Being a student makes it really easy to be lazy and not care much how you look. Maybe when I have a real job I’ll join in with the sacrifices.
I get sugared regularly- that is some painful stuff! And I am well-known for wearing an odd assortment of clothing, the most recent being backless shirts. I figure if I’ve got nothing to show off in the chest department, then my pretty back should get some attention! But wearing one of those in the middle of winter is DAMN COLD.
Without a doubt = heels. LOVE shoes, hate pain and wish I could just wear my gorgeous shoes and be carried everywhere. I’m a short-ass so I love feeling tall.
The obvious downside is that I’m often mistaken for a drunk when my clumsiness and my love of heels collide!
Charlotte- anticipating your posts and a cup of coffee is often what spurs me out of bed in the morning… oh yeah, and the 6 children…
I just had the saline soln. injection for varicose veins in my thigh. OUCH. Leg swelled up like a balloon, bruised black,blue,yellow. Still bruising six weeks later. Can’t imagine plastic surgery on my face!! Jury’s still out on its effectiveness…
GodivaGirl (Lori)…was ANON yesterday 🙂
ACK! i think my achilles tendon snapped, just looking at those shoes.
I think the beauty is pain thing is ridiculous. we, as a society, think that beautiful people are strong. If they are skinny, its because they have self control, and self control is strength. Im going to over exercise because if i punish my body to the point of exhaustion, it means i am strong. anything less is weak.
you dont have to suffer. why would you want to?
um i wear flats a lot with wreak havock on my arches. thats all i can thyink of right now.
The Bag Lady must be hideously ugly, ’cause she refuses to suffer for beauty anymore! About the only thing she does now is shave her armpits and legs…which, in a way, is ridiculous, because no-one sees either area! (Actually, if she doesn’t shave her underarms, she gets ingrown hairs, which really hurt!)
OMG! Do you rally want to know? First off, wax hair removal, hello, painful! Brazilian wax probably is the most painful thing I have done. The list is immense…. Painful esthetician sessions (black heads ain’t gonna remove themselves), painful but “oh so cute” shoes and items of clothing, endless squats (thought I do love them), hairstyle induced headaches, sucking in my stomach on a date, and for goodness sake, I use to be a ballerina, need I say more?
Oops, forgot to say, the photo of the boots with the horse-shoes on the bottom had me laughing so hard, I almost fell off my chair!
Imagine the confusion they could create out in the bush – some poor tracker would be going crazy, trying to figure out what kind of horse only has two feet…..
After going through a really painful bout with plantar fasciitis (http://steppin-up.blogspot.com/2007/07/plantar-fasciitis.html) I stopped wearing really high heels. I was wearing 3″ heels about every day, shortening my achilles, then pounding on them at the gym. Now I try not to go over an inch or two, and not for an extended amount of time.
At 28 years old, I finally learned how to put on makeup and pluck my eyebrows (taught by my 17 year old stepsister). I used to take 30 minutes in the morning to get ready (including shower). Now with blow-drying my hair, putting on makeup, eating, showering, all that jazz, it takes twice as long.
I could be better in shaving, but since I’m blonde, I figure I can get away with shaving once a month in the summer and nobody will notice…
I tried thongs, but had issues with those. So I’m fairly low maintenance, don’t do too many things that hurt just for beauty (though damn does eyebrow plucking smart), but mostly because I’m lazy (shaving) or previously injured (heels).
After my wedding in June of 2005 I swore off the tanning bed. I gave up blow-drying my hair in April of 2007 and I can count on 3 fingers the number of times I’ve “fixed” my hair since then. My most recent abandon was the face powder – it just makes me look weird. I’m sure my husband thinks that I’m slowly trying to become a hobbit, but in the past 2 years I’ve really ramped up my exercise and that kind of beauty routine just feels so good and natural. Still can’t give up those lovely heels though! 🙂
Right now I’m too poor to make sacrifices for beauty. My husband moved to Utah from Florida and all of his clothes got lost by the postal service so the next time we have free money he needs new clothes. Plus we have to make a visit to the doctors for various reasons.
I need a hair cut.
All of my clothes are too big.
I’m lucky I could get shampoo and conditioner last week.
But one day I will suffer! I promise. 😉
BTW- judging from your love of the arch picture I’m going to assume you’ve been to my hometown?
I used to wear heels, until I realized how ridiculous I looked trying (and failing miserably) to walk in them. Now I pretty much live in flip-flops and Keens. It helps that Hubby is 5″ shorter than me.
I used to get my eyebrows waxed and lots of pedicures. When I lived in L.A. (There was also the eating disorder and exercise bulimia, but we’ll let that go for now). Now I have 2 kids and we live near San Francisco. I shave, but that’s pretty much it. Haircuts? Once a year or so (which allows me to donate my hair and feel really smug and self-satisfied at what a d0-gooder I am). Pedicures? Um, I rub lotion on my feet and paint my nails in the summer. Sometimes. Eyebrows? Gloriously cro-magnon!
And my jobd (mom and pilates teacher) let me live in comfy clothes, which I love.
ow ow ow
I’m too clumsy to wear super high heels, although I did by some not-so-high-heels for a friend’s wedding that are HORRIBLY uncomfortable, so I have worn them once since then,
I pluck my eyebrows, because I have eyebrow issues. I’ve never been a lipstick person. I usually wear mascara, but not always.
The most painful thing I’ve ever done is get my eyebrow tattooed on. I have a scar from a birthmark that I had removed as a child, and I don’t really have an eyebrow on that side because of it. The tat has faded quite a bit, so I ought to go back and get it redone, but it’s $$$ and painful, so I’m putting it off.
Oh my, oh my, oh my! I would fall and break something if I wore those…high heel/ballet slipper/horseshoe/boot shoe things!
My sacrifice for beauty is the occasional spa treatment. Difficult, I know, but sometimes you gotta take one for the team. 😉
My sacrifice for beauty?
Pride!
Too many times 🙁
Dr. J
thinking about this all yesterday and realizing my lack of anything to add is because Ive kind GIVEN UP on the beauty front!
or as I like to pretend IVE PUT IT ON HOLD FOR THE PAST 38 years!
Miz.
LOL………One thing I’ve never done for my beauty is to wear shoes like the ones you have pictured. Being 5’10 with size 12 feet doesn’t give me too many heel options……….:)
mmm K. The heels made me dizzy.
As for my sacrifice.. Hair removal!
LOL