Scene: the sweat-soaked, MRSA-ridden, gritty, black stretching mats at the Y. My face is planted in a pool of someone else’s grime while I try and stretch my quads. I am trying not to inhale. Grossed out? It gets better. I look up to see my friend Bobby (Hi, Bobby!!) taking off his running shoe and gasp as his sock is covered in oozy bright red blood, nearly to his ankle. Bobby seems unperturbed. “That’s funny,” he says. “I didn’t even feel anything!”
“Blister?” I ask. I shouldn’t be grossed out – a mother who is a community health ed nurse breeds that out of you right quick – but I suppress a shudder. A better friend would run to get him paper towels and a band-aid. In this instance I don’t even qualify as a decent friend as all I can do is stare.
“Nope,” he answers as he peels off the sock.
Fresh blood can look like a lot more than it is. Now I consider running to get band-aids – to put over my eyes. I blame childbirth. Ever since my little monkeys started spewing bodily fluids I’ve gotten a lot wussier. My mother is not proud.
“Sharp toenail,” he finally declares. I faint.
Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?
My shin splints. Gym Buddy Allison’s rolled ankle. Gym Buddy Candice’s poltergeist rib. Reader Colleen’s crazy black toe (which she promised us a picture of – let’s see it Colleen!). Injuries and exercise, sadly, go hand in hand.
Ace bandages and knee braces are the fashion statement du jour on the treadmill. Bruises, wrist straps and weight belts abound on the weight floor (but no, all the shaved heads are not indicative of a mental injury or a Britney fetish – although I’d love to see you ask one of those meatheads about it!)
In fact, if you pick any random person at the gym I bet you a thirty-pound dumbbell dropped on your chest that they have an injury story to tell. If they’re really, um, lucky they even have their very own pet injury – one they can feed & clothe and love just like a Webkin but without the yearly subscription fee!
Do You Really Want to Make Me Cry?
I won’t tell you about the worst exercise injury I’ve ever seen (In high school a soccer player caught his foot in a hole in the grass and went down, breaking his FEMUR. It sounded like a RIFLE going off. The bone came through his SKIN. His coach THREW UP. Sorry, that just popped out. I think I still have PTSD from it.) but I can tell you some things to help avoid exercise injuries.
1. Don’t exercise. Oh, wait. Not an option? Fine. You can do Sit and Be Fit. Mmm… except I bet somebody somewhere has fallen off their chair.
All right – if you exercise you’re going to get hurt. Be as smart as you can (no exercises in wedges ladies, ask for a spot when you need it gents) but don’t despair when the inevitable occurs. (Knock, knock, knock on wood. Well, at least I think this is wood. If it’s not and I get injured today I’m so suing IKEA.)
Working Around An Injury
1. Rest. I am the worst possible person to talk to about this because as long as I can still get my shoes on, I’m in the gym that day. Hopefully you are not as compulsive as I am. But in case you are, at least try and rest the affected part. If your shins hurt (aHEM), try swimming or bike riding. If your wrists are sore avoid pull-ups and push-ups. The key here is to keep resting your Achilles heel even after it starts to feel better. Depending on the severity of your injury it could take weeks or even months. When I stress-fractured my leg last year I was off all high-impact activity for 6 weeks. If I can do it, anyone can.
2. Get the proper equipment. Don’t let your pride or impeccable fashion sense prevent you from getting those butt-ugly orthopedic shoes or knee brace or basketball goggles (hee!) if you need them. Wear them with pride, bro, wear them with pride!
3. Don’t repeat. This sounds like a total duh but since I am so guilty of this one, I’m going to say it: don’t make the same mistake over again. Even if this means you can’t exercise at the level you used to. If you hurt your knee because you upped your mileage too fast then don’t do it again! Up your mileage slowly next time. Train for the surface you run on. Don’t walk and chew gum at the same time.
4. Strengthen the supporting muscles. I can’t say enough good things about this one. If you have knee pain, do more quad, ham & calf exercises. Stronger legs will help stabilize your knee and help it from going out again. Back pain? Make sure you are doing lots of core exercises. Ask a doc or physical therapist for exercises you can safely do to help with your injured area.
5. Whine a lot. Well, actually, have a good support group. Complaining loudly to a friend makes it feel so much better. Misery loves sympathy:)
AIEEEEE!
I probably shouldn’t ask this but I can’t help myself: what’s the worst exercise injury you’ve ever seen? Have you ever had to work around an injury? And Colleen, what’s UP with your TOE???
Now I consider running to get band-aids – to put over my eyes.
Ha! I have gotten SO much wussier since having children. (“Uhhh…Daddy can help you with that”)
I have no cool injuries to speak of (Nothing like a sharp toenail. Ew.) When I used to play volleyball I’d have fingers in splints every other week (or so it felt). Although my husband is a die-hard ultimate frisbee player. So I’ve seen guys with some serious broken ribbage, concussions, bleeding limbs. Good times.
When I was little I used to hope and pray I’d get an injury that would land me in crutches. Crutches were the COOLEST…right? Or a cast…or at least a sling. I don’t know what the deal was but I thought getting some apparatus for my body to heal in would be SO fun. And of course all I grew up and all I got were some dumb finger splints…I think picked them up at Rite Aid. Not cool.
I’ve never seen any really cool injuries unfortunately.
The worst that have happened to me?
– Big toenail falling off after banging around in an ill-fitting netball shoe
– having an earring ripped out of my ear during a basketball match and not even noticing til the end. It wasn’t through the skin though thank god!
oh.
I had no idea we were supposed to do anything other than number five (and Im SOOO good at that one!).
duly noted.
Very funny, and love the pictures!
Eventually I have learned from experience–take a break and come back slowly and don’t push it.
Oh, and Ice. I know you can’t mend a broken femur with ice but it’s good for pretty much anything else.
But for the record, I can totally kick MizFit’s ass on #5. I am the Whine-Mastah.
I dislocated my right knee, and have never been able to squat as much weight since then. The sad thing? I did it while sitting down, not even while exercising. Dislocated it again a few years later learning a dance for a musical. Wow, I’m really lame.
I did know a gal who broke her femur during basketball practice. She must have had a fracture or something, because she was just running down the court when it snapped. No blood though, just lots of screaming followed by lots of pain killers.
I sprained my lower back 5 weeks before my first marathon. All I did was squat down to pick something up and something popped and I could barely move! I was even using good form.
I was heart broken! I’d put in some serious mileage at that point, had registered for the race and was ready to go. Instead I landed myself in physical therapy for 6 weeks and had to watch the race coverage on tv! Very sad!
I was very good (and still am) at #5!
Where do I begin?? The worst injury I ever had was a broken jaw, chin, teeth, stiches in my face from a bike wreck (read: bicycle). A few years ago I broke my leg skim boarding – and I even told those turkeys that I shouldn’t do it, but they said “you’ll be fine!” I played high school volleyball and TWICE got hit in the mouth so hard that my lips had to be pried from my braces – pay attention much? And just last year I jammed my finger so bad catching a football, I don’t think it will ever be the same. By far the grossest injury I’ve ever seen was when we were watching the boys play soccer in high school. One kid took a really hard kick to the calf and went down like a sack of potatoes. He stood back up on his leg and it just broke, I get chills just thinking about it :/ BTW, I’m emailing you a picture of my wonky toe, because I don’t know how to post it on this thingy.
I tore the ligaments in my right ankle while running (ehem, and drinking). or was it the other way around? coudn’t walk for 2 months, but like Katieo, crutches were all the rage with us.
I always have had all these friends who’ve broken bones and all from exercising and it makes me feel kind of lame because even though I’m pretty active, the most that’s ever happened to me is a few sprained fingers (well, and my own toe situation- standing on your tiptoes for an extra stretch every day apparently causes toenails to turn black. Am SO not looking forward to it falling off). My thought was, “maybe I’m not working hard enough and thats why I’m not getting injuried!”. Heh.
I haven’t seen many crazy injuries in other people, either… although working at a vet clinic I’ve seen some really messed up cases, if that counts!
Worst injury I saw was when I was much much younger (ie middle school) and in gymnastics. One of the girls was not using proper procedure to lower one of the uneven bars and it slid down slicing most of the palm of her hand off. Not a mental picture I want to repeat even 15 years later.
OMG this is JUST like what happened to my toe in the famous Ingrown Toenail Incident of March 2008!!
I sprained my back in college. During a voice lesson. No, I didn’t hit a really high note, unfortunately. We were stretching to open up our “breathing apparatus” and I pushed myself in Plow pose. I heard and felt a series of pops, and then PAIN!!!!!!
Then, when I went to the university health center to have it looked at, the receptionist yelled at me for not filling out a form, after I’d handed it to her, all filled out. Then the doctor told me, without actually looking at me or even getting up from behind his desk, that the injury was due to all the weight I’d gained recently. When I told him I had actually LOST weight, he said I looked like someone who had put on weight. Which was amazing, being as we’d never met before and, oh yeah, he hadn’t yet actually looked at me!
But the worst thing I’ve witnessed is Greg Lougainis (sp?) thwacking his head on the diving board at the Olympics. I STILL have trouble watching the high-dive!
Have I recounted the torn ACL (raquetball) followed by years of knee-slipping-out-of-place because of a mis-diagnosis (of a strained MCL)? Or of the OTHER torn ACL (flag football, other leg) followed by much “oh my god not again” crying?
And how I’m not the same since the surgeries?
My brother played baseball through college – once a guy took a pitch in the eye. His eye socket was crushed and his eye was just all messed up. And brother got beaned in the nose, crushing it. They were in Mexico and he couldn’t get a transfusion – he lost like 3 of your usual 5 liters (obvious estimation, but the doc said he was lucky he didn’t die, really) of blood AND had to FLY home with a packed nose. His nose just isn’t the same.
The worst I’ve ever seen was in middle school while playing dodge ball! We used volley balls, and another boy tried to catch a hard thrown ball, and it pinned his arm against the wall giving him a compound fracture where we all saw the bone sticking out through the skin!
As a surgeon, too many multiple trauma patients to mention. I’ve seen broken everythings 🙁
Dr. J
My dh has ruptured (and had repaired) both achilles. Basketball and skiing.
And, yeah, I whined about it!
ready to laugh? I fell on my face and fractured 2 teeth and got 25 stitches. I had to have the teeth removed the next day, which was the worst pain EVER. (childbirth was cake compared to this!) I then ran a marathon 2 weeks later. Oh, to be young again…
Very applicable topic for me. I am currently injured and wondering how/what I am going to do. (I’m still working on my blog post with the scoop.)
Injuries just suck. My advice to the uninjured–value every bone, ligament, and tendon in your body. (especially knees and back)
I had surgery on my knee (acl and meniscus) but it will never be the same again.